Thursday, June 26, 2008

Outrage over nothing, stealing the Hulk and the Great Wall of W. can continue

- Is China ready for the Summer Olympics? You better believe it! If elite athletes can jog around a city block in Beijing once and end up blowing black soot out of their noses onto Kleenex after they’re done, then you have to figure the Chinese are ready. When American Olympics personnel are designing special, top-secret surgical/hygiene masks for U.S. athletes to wear from the second they arrive in Beijing until they step onto the field or track to compete, go ahead and figure that everything is in place for the Games. Yes, welcome to the first-ever Olympics where we may actually see an athlete drop dead from respiratory failure during an event, good times! Although the Chinese lamely insist they’re doing everything possible to ensure clean air for the Games, data on air quality in and around Beijing suggests its toxicity is at a hazardous level. But hey, the Chinese are banning certain high-emission vehicles from the road for the next couple of months, so that should clear everything up. Nothing like attempting to erase decades of air pollution with a band-aid solution for a couple of months. When American athletes are asking questions of their team physicians such as, “Should I move to L.A. with all of its smog and pollution to prepare?”, odds are there’s a problem afoot. Nothing like the splendor of the Summer Olympics, higher…cough….hack…..farth-…cough…cough…..faster….gasp…..

- You may see a major international organized crime operation being shut down, but I prefer to see opportunity. The arrest and indictment of 21 members of one of the nation’s largest Hispanic gangs has created an opening in the world of drug trafficking, racketeering and murder for hire. A North Carolina grand jury has returned a 55-count indictment against members of the Mara Salvatrucha, or MS-13, gang for crimes they committed at the direction of their leader, a man currently imprisoned in El Salvador. Among the charges facing the 21 gang members are drug trafficking, racketeering, assault and murder. Members of Mara Salvatrucha allegedly committed four murders in Charlotte and Greensboro and sent drug profits out of the country to their leaders in El Salvador, one of who currently sits in a prison cell. While you could point to these activities and lament the criminal element of our society, if you prefer to be optimistic like me, you can find the positive here. There is now an opportunity for one of our own, an American gang, to step in and fill the role that Mara Salvatrucha had previously held in our nation’s economy. How often do you hear people lament that the jobs and opportunities are leaving the United States and getting away from deserving Americans? Well, here’s a chance for some Americans to step in and take up the slack from foreigners. Granted, they’ll go to prison if they’re caught and what they would be doing would be highly illegal and harmful to certain people, but in trying economic times, can we afford to be picky? I say no….

- Just when you thought the U.S. Supreme Court might have developed a set of kahones and reached a point where it could make the right call on very tough, dicey cases on a regular basis….something like this happens. After pissing off conservatives nationwide by giving (gasp) Guantanamo Bay detainees the rights they are actually allowed under the Geneva Convention, the nine old men and women in black robes who decide the nation’s biggest court cases whiffed big time when presented with the issue of the extension of the border fence along the boundary between the U.S. and Mexico. With a chance to stop construction on another of the W. administration’s idiotic, ill-fated wastes of time and money, the court refused to hear arguments to halt work on the wall on the grounds that it will harm the environment and animals living in the construction area. Predictably, the plea came from environmentalists who oppose the idea of erecting a wall stretching from the Pacific surf at Tijuana all the way to the Gulf of Mexico near the town of Brownsville, Tex. At issue in this case was a two-mile section of fence in the San Pedro Riparian National Conservation Area near Naco, Ariz. That particular portion of the fence has already been erected and those bringing the case to court argue that it has harmed several endangered species, including wild cats such as the ocelot and the jaguarundi. Sadly, the court refused to take this chance to strike at what is a bad idea overall for a number of reasons. I readily admit that this would be a cheap, back-door way to go about it, but with a project that is such a bad idea on so many fronts, I say take whatever chance you can get.

- What do you do with a footless, 8-foot-tall Incredible Hulk statue? That’s a question someone in the town of Lowell, Mass. has on their hands after thieving the oversized replica of the star of this summer’s biggest rip-off, copycat film trying to capitalize on a movie just made five years ago (it’s a surprisingly crowded genre, you’d be amazed). Police arrived at the theater to find the large green figure gone, ripped from the platform where it stood. Because the thieves lack the necessary means and equipment to take the whole statue, platform and all, they had to snap off the Hulk at the ankles and leave the lower portion. Police Capt. James McPadden brilliantly theorizes that more than one person and a getaway vehicle were used in the theft. Great work, Sherlock. You think it took more than one person to steal an 8-foot-tall statue? With ace police work like that, it should take the Lowell Police Department no time at all to recover the stolen Hulk.

- I’ve spent the past 2-3 days trying to muster up anger, bitterness, hostility or to be even remotely interested in the “controversies” over statements made by both Shaquille O’Neal and Don Imus earlier this week. O’Neal went on a profanity-laced rant as he took the mic at a New York City club Sunday night, rapping about how Kobe Bryant “couldn’t do without me,” a reference to Bryant’s failure to win the NBA title this year, a title that would have been his first since O’Neal left the Lakers to go to Miami several years ago. He also rapped a line asking Bryant how his (O’Neal’s) ass smells. Imus, on the other hand, was talking about the ongoing saga of Pacman Jones, rain maker extraordinaire and Dallas Cowboys defensive back. Imus and his radio show partner were discussing Jones’ quest for reinstatement to the NFL following his one-year suspension for his piece de resistance in his spree of crimes and run-ins with the law, the Las Vegas nightclub shooting that left a bouncer permanently paralyzed. Imus’ partner was detailing the highlights of Jones’ saga when Imus interrupted to ask what “color” Jones is. Informed he was black, Imus replied, “Well, there you go.” The intent of his comment is open for interpretation. Imus would have you believe he was sarcastically pointing out how police routinely racially profile criminals and treat blacks unfairly. Imus haters would like you to believe that he was implying that of course it was a black man who had been arrested six times and been in so much trouble. For the past two days, I’ve watched talking heads blow the comments of these two men out of proportion, trying to make them out to be big news when they are simply not. O’Neal’s rap lyrics are merely sniping between two guys who don’t like each other and couldn’t get along when they were both with the Lakers. Despite winning three NBA championships together, they couldn’t coexist and so O’Neal left the team. Quite frankly, I don’t give a rat’s ass what the state of his relationship with Bryant is. Either of them making comments about the other makes no difference to anyone but them. It has zero impact on any NBA season, not to mention this is the offseason now. Unless and until these two locks horns in the octagon, MMA-style, don’t bother me with their back and forth. As for Imus….I can see where there is at least some validitiy in his explanation, even if it seems unlikely to me that it’s true. He didn’t use any racist terms, he didn’t advocate acting in a biased way toward African-Americans and he didn’t directly put them down. He may have said something that is stereotyping and outdated in its thinking, but you can’t crucify someone for that. He is what he is - a crass, behind-the-times shock jock who is going to say stupid things from time to time. I’ve never listened to his shows anyhow, so I personally don’t feel much of an impact from the world through the eyes of Imus. So in conclusion…..a lot of people have spent the past 2-3 days blowing hot air about nothing at all….

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