- Welcome to the….Teenage Wasteland? Apparently that
unlikely lyrical mash-up is a hint of what fans can expect now that two iconic
rock bands - both of whom have long overstayed their welcome - Guns N’ Roses
and The Who, have announced a joint headlining tour. The two aged-out bands who
aren't what they used to be will hit up South America together, sharing
co-headlining duties Sept. 23 at Rio De Janeiro’s Rock In Rio festival before
taking their matching oversized egos to Argentina for a show at Estadio Único
De La Plata in Buenos Aires. Beyond that, they will reportedly jet around South
America for shows in Brazil, Peru and Chile. This news is more noteworthy
because The Who frontman Roger Daltrey revealed that the band’s current tour
may be their last, pointing to the group’s future residency as a Las Vegas
lounge act as possibly their final run. “We seriously don’t know if we’ll ever
play again after this tour,” Daltrey said. “People at our age have been popping
their clogs [over the last year] so let’s just get real here, where we are in
our lives. We’re doing remarkably well for where we are but we just don’t know.
If we get through this year, we’re gonna need some time off. We’ll re-think it
after that.” At the same time, GNR are readying for a massive tour that will
include dates in Europe as well, so despite the fact that they’ve clearly lost
more off their musical fastball than Daltrey and Co., Axl and what remains of
his once-great band are still trying to crank out as many minutes of fame and
dollars of profit as possible……..
- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! South Africa may have done away
with apartheid, but that doesn’t mean there aren't still reasons to rise up and
rage against the machine, which is precisely why you had South African police
firing rubber bullets at rioters in a poor Johannesburg neighborhood who had
the audacity to demand such luxuries as housing and other government services. Yes,
it was a ridiculous overreach by people who want a decent place to live, even
if those people sparked a massive wave of violence when they blocked roads with
rocks and burning tires. Yes, burning tires, the time-honored riot tradition
that Donald Trump would in no way oppose because that ass hat is completely
confident that global warming is a hoax. Police Minister Fikile Mbalula tried
to stake out a position midway between the two extremes when he claimed
protesters have the right to voice their grievances but added that violence is
unacceptable and property damage will not be tolerated. Wrong, F.M. Sometimes,
the only way to get The Man to notice is to create roadblocks, burn large
circles of high-strength rubber and allow the world to see your anger in the
form of the flames that rise to the sky. In an effort to keep everyone safe,
Mbalula condemned reported attacks on journalists and is urging media
representatives to wear reflective clothing and drive in marked vehicles. These
sorts of protests are common in some poor areas of South Africa, so this
definitely won't be the last time we see this scene……..
- Sometimes, a team bus is a metaphor for said team’s
season. For example, when your squad is sputtering down the road with the
National League’s worst record, its best pitcher and overall best player is out
indefinitely due to injuries sustained in a dirt bike crash on a day off,
having smoke billowing from the engine of your rented bus on your way to the
airport during a road trip, the pieces all fit nicely together. Meet the San
Francisco Giants, who were fresh off getting swept by the Cincinnati Reds in a
three-game weekend series and getting outscored 31-5 when they boarded their
buses for the drive to Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport in
Hebron, Kentucky. Midway through the relatively short trip, smoke began
billowing from the bus carrying players, after which the bus carrying staff
pulled over and the players got on -- filling the aisles. Eventually, the
ailing bus that may or may not have been infected with the overall ineptitude
and loser-ness of a team that hadn't been outscored by 26 runs in a three-game
series since 1894 against Boston, or maybe the Giants can't even rent a winning
bus at this point, but at least manager Bruce Bochy had a good sense of humor
about it. "We're a funny club," the manager said. "You got to be
careful that you do assume the attitude that, hey, we'll be fine. We'll be
fine. But, we're not fine now, and it's time for us to do something." You
may be many things as a team - bad, sloppy, injury-prone, erratic - but funny
isn't one of them, skip…….
- Grannies, don’t try to be the wet blanket that brings the
party to an early end. If you do, you may end up going for an unexpected swim
and need first responders to fish you out of the deep end. Such is the lessons
imparted by Nancy James, a 68-year-old resident of a South Florida apartment
complex who decided that some of her younger neighbors and their friends were
being too loud and noisy over the weekend as they held a massive pool party
under the typically balmy sunny skies of South Florida. According to police, James
and another member of the residents association told a sheriff’s deputy that
about 200 young people had been in the pool area, which sounds like typical
old-person exaggeration when trying to make the case that those damn kids and
their damn rap music they play too loud while wearing not nearly enough clothes
are out of control. As James tells it, she was trying to speak with partiers
when an unknown male picked her up and - as per video that made its way to
social media - dropped her on the concrete pool deck before dragging her to the
edge of the pool and tossing her in. The display was ugly and had this bro
simply picked her up and tossed her directly into the pool, it wouldn’t have
been nearly as bad, what with dropping elderly people in concrete surfaces
being reckless and dangerous. Police are now looking for the person who deposited
granny into the pool and left James soaked and bruised when a deputy responded
to Players Place apartments in North Lauderdale. All of this could have been
avoided had these revelers merely waited until 7 p.m., when James probably
would have headed to bed for the evening, to start the fun…….
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