Saturday, May 13, 2017

Danish prison currency, shoot old rock stars into space and Air Force v. NFL careers


- Now THAT is how you convince more people to go to church. Yes, it’s technically less of a church and more of what the city of Nashville has labeled an illegal sex club, but let’s not trip on the semantics here. Let’s focus on the fact that some forward thinkers looking to reject the usual rules and strictures that making following any organized religion such a grind decided to take a building registered as a church and turn it into a sex club that may have technically been illegal for several reasons, including violating a state law banning sex clubs from operating within 1,000 feet of a school. This looks to be a handy mix of opportunity and necessity, as the longtime downtown swingers club underwent a conversion in 2015 when it relocated to a run-down office park in the community of Madison. Seeing a chance to perhaps mix its particular brand of illicit activity with the benefits that come from being labeled a place of worship, the club’s owners took to calling their establishment a church because the new location is near the back of the private Goodpasture Christian School. Yes, a place you can go and get your freak on while a few hundred feet away, young children learn Bible lessons and how to read, there’s nothing unsavory about that. The club’s downfall began in March, when two code inspectors paid $40 to enter the facility and filed affidavits detailing sex acts they witnessed within. Now, the city is seeking to close the club, but that just seems like a sin……


- Maybe this can be a modern day, rock-and-roll take on the Eskimo tribe that straps its elderly to an ice floe, gives them a few day’s food and pushes them out to sea to die when they can no longer hunt and effectively contribute to society. That might not be the underlying thinking when Metallica ruminates about being the first band to play in space after setting a world record by playing all seven continents in a year, but motivation isn't everything. Drummer Lars Ulrich admitted that the band have ambitions to play in space, piggybacking on their seven-continent effort back in 2013 and given that Metallica is now a glorified metal novelty act looking to set cheesy, Guinness Book of World Records marks at a time when it should maybe thinking about hanging up its instruments and going out to pasture, shooting Lars, James Hetfield and crew out into space and letting them slowly drift out of our collective consciousness doesn’t seem like a terrible plan. “Living in San Francisco which is the gateway to the future, obviously all those things are being planned around San Francisco to a degree so I feel that we are close to that [playing in space] as we can be,” Ulrich said. “There’s a few feelers out to a few people – nothing worth giving away yet.” Ulrich went on to say that if there is any chance of the space gig happening, he and his bandmates “will happily be at the very front of that line.” Here’s hoping there is a line and then, every aged-out rock band that doesn’t know it’s outlived its usefulness (eyeing you, The Who and Rolling Stones) can board a space shuttle and become our musical Eskimo elders………


- Since when did cigarettes cease to become the currency of cell block C? Times have clearly changed when it comes to purchasing toothpaste, an ice cream bar or a deck of playing cards in prison and maybe nowhere more so than Denmark, a country whose government says it will ban cash in the country's largest prisons and require inmates to pay electronically, to make it "easier to follow the money flow in and out." According to Danish Justice Minister Soeren Pape Poulsen, "there is a risk that people in criminal circles exploit their friends' incarceration to hide money." Wait….shady people with criminal records try to hide cash with their incarcerated friends? Apparently that’s a thing now. According to Poulsen, the change will be implemented before summer, but right now, it’s unclear how many of Denmark's prisons would be affected. In a sense, this won’t be a major change for inmates in closed Danish prisons, as they already pay electronically for food and other items they buy behind bars. Of course, in an age when everything worth hacking - and many things that aren't - are in danger of cyberattacks on a daily basis, the idea of making an entire internal prison economy dependent on chips, cards and hard drives seems like it could be an open invitation for cyber-creative criminals and their friends to manipulate and abuse the system for their benefit…….


- It’s rare to hear anyone, especially someone in a prominent position of authority in professional sports, take a blatant run at the armed forces. But when the football world learned of a rule implemented by the Air Force on the day of the first round of the NFL draft that prevents Academy cadets from postponing their two-year active-duty military commitment so they can play in the NFL, feathers were bound to be ruffled. Many Air Force players/potential draftees were reportedly unaware of the rule until after the draft started and Arizona Cardinals coach Bruce Arians is not a fan of it. His team invited Air Force linebacker Ryan Watson to its three-day rookie minicamp this weekend, knowing they wouldn't be able to sign him to a contract and afterward, Arians ripped the new rule. "I think it's dumb," Arians said, adding that he wanted to give Watson a "good look and give him the opportunity." The veteran coach noted that Watson could impress enough that the Cardinals could to bring him back in two years, while Watson criticized the rule without openly criticizing it, saying it was "above his pay grade." Under the rule, the Air Force mandated that all players who compete for the Air Force Academy serve their two years of active duty before receiving "ready reserve" status, which would allow them to join a professional sports team. Other branches of the military have recently waived their rules for players who made the NFL, figuring the chance to have a prominent face representing the armed forces and doing non-active duty activities such as public appearances on behalf of the Army or Navy on the side while excelling on the field was valuable enough to let a player avoid active military duty. Clearly, the Air Force thinks it’s about all of that……..

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