- Who wants a funny-looking hat worn by a Lilliputian leader
best known for his ignominious defeats and exile to an island for his
treachery? If that sounds like your bag, then you must be happy to hear that Napoleon Bonaparte's famous bicorn hat is up for auction and on
display next to the chateau where the French general lived when he wasn't inspiring
psychological terms or leading troops into battle across Europe. The hat’s
black felt is a bit battered and worn due to age and use, but no one has donned
it since Napoleon's cavalry veterinarian, who received it from the leader as a
gift. Be forewarned because the price tag is steep, with auctioneers hoping to
bring in as much as 500,000 euros ($623,000) for the hat. The hat has been
certified as authentic and is part of a Napoleonic collection belonging to
Monaco's royal family, which is distantly related to him. There is more on the
auction block than the hat for anyone who tries and misses or doesn’t have a
spare $600,000 lying around for something they’ll never actually wear. The
auction includes all sorts of goodies like decorative keys, documents, a
jeweled sword, a Russian caviar spoon and a bronze eagle that once perched atop
a battle flag and is riddled with bullet holes and dozens of medals that are
perfect to wear for those special occasions when you want to send the message, “Hey
there. I’m an arrogant, rich ass who likes to distinguish himself by wearing
around old medals worn by a guy who led a nation whose military legacy is best
summed up by waving the biggest white flag possible.” It’s truly the
opportunity of a lifetime……….
- Redfoo is still around? OK, if you say so. There actually
is evidence of this being true, namely the LMFAO frontman defending his appearance
on a music video that has been widely condemned for its misogyny. Redfoo,
a.k.a. Stefan Gordy, claims the video for “Literally I Can’t” was meant to be satirical
and targeted frat house culture. It features Gordy doing a guest spot for production
duo Play-N-Skillz and it is being ripped for the very thing it is allegedly
aiming to drench in satire. "Another example of critics victimizing an
artist by purposefully misinterpreting his/her work to support a pre-existing
agenda. #LiterallyICant,” Gordy tweeted. He then went with the
always-believable “I respect women” and believe they “are the most powerful
people on this planet.” The video lampoons a group of sorority girls who
stumble into a fraternity house and are pressured to do whatever the frat bros
tell them to do, including downing copious amounts of alcohol, dancing
seductively and doing some lesbian hijinks. The girls repeat the phrase, “Literally,
I can't,” to which the frat Neanderthals reply, “Shut the f*ck up.” Magically,
the ladies are soon transformed into “girls gone wild.” Redfoo chimes in with, "You got a big ol' butt, I can tell by the
way you walking, but you annoy me because you're talking. Get loud while I
Instagram ya.” The refuge for everyone whose sensibilities are offended
by life these days, Change.org, now hosts a petition with more than 12,000
signatures asking Australia's Channel 7 to fire Gordy from his gig as a reality
karaoke judge on “X Factor (Karaoke) Australia” because of the video. Internet
troll hate has filled the comment section under the video on YouTube as well………
- Hells yeah, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio. Considered an
open-minded, liberal mayor and friend of the fringe since he was elected, de
Blasio scored more points with the common man this week by announcing that the
city which never sleeps will change its policy on possession of small amounts
of marijuana, giving police officers the option of writing offenders a ticket
instead of taking them into custody. The news pairs nicely with the lifting of
the ban on oversized sodas that former Mayor Michael Bloomberg put in place
because everyone who’s anyone knows that stoners love them a good 44 oz.
Mountain Dew and Cheetohs to go with their bong full of dank. The mayor
explained his hope that the change will remove the stigma of a criminal
conviction for many young people who are arrested for misdemeanor marijuana
possession. That sort of conviction is a problem on one’s record. "A
summons will not affect their future," he said. "An arrest
could." Being a stoner is also likely to affect their future, but never
mind on that. The change goes into effect on Nov. 19 and will only affect cases
involving 25 grams or less of marijuana, Police Commissioner William Bratton
said. It will be at the officer’s discretion to write a citation, which
requires the suspect to appear in court later, or arrest the person. The only
bad news from this is that the ganja would still be seized and the pothead in
question would have to continue their day sans hippie lettuce. The fine for a
first offense would usually be $100, officials added. De Blasio postulated that
the revision would free up New York City police to concentrate on more serious
crimes. "You will see fewer unnecessary arrests," the mayor said.
Well done, B.D.B………
- Dear Luis Suarez: When you commit a criminal act, people
will often treat you like a criminal. Sorry, not sorry. The embattled,
human-flesh-gnawing Uruguayan striker who earned a four-month ban from soccer
for biting Italy's
Giorgio Chiellini in Brazil during this summer’s World Cup, apparently feels he
was treated a bit harshly for his offense. His revelations came as part of the
promotional hype for his new autobiography, i.e. releasing the most salacious
bits of information from a book to make would-be buyers think the entire tome
is filled with such nuggets. In an excerpt from the book, Suarez says he was
being treated "like a criminal" when told to leave the Uruguay camp
at the World Cup. Not only that, he felt he was finalizing his summer transfer
from Liverpool to Barcelona in an "undercover operation." Most
people would be fired up to be part of a covert op, real or imaginary, but
Suarez seems to feel otherwise. He claims that his longtime dream of playing
for Barcelona was in doubt because of his ban, which made it unclear whether he
was legally allowed to negotiate his move to his new team. As a result, he
wasn’t officially presented as a Barcelona player until mid-August after a
Court of Arbitration for Sport ruling lessened his punishment. "The
absurdity of the FIFA ban became clearer day by day," Suarez wrote.
"We had to plan everything carefully just in case the paparazzi or a fan
would take a photo showing activity remotely related to football. I got used to
it being like an undercover operation. I left the house of my parents-in-law
hidden in a car to trick the paparazzi.” Hey a-hole….if you commit something
that would be considered a criminal act anywhere in the world other than the
soccer field, prepare to be treated like a criminal…….
No comments:
Post a Comment