Tuesday, August 05, 2014

FAT soccer players, Turkish women can't laugh and Thom York plays to a crowd of eight


- Thom Yorke has always been something of a trippy hipster icon. He may have found the ideal place for someone who is simply that much cooler than everyone else to ply their trade over the weekend, when he played a DJ set to just eight people at Cornish festival Leopallooza. No, not Lollapalooza, but Leopallooza, which calls itself "the best house party in a field." Yorke, whose primary role is fronting Radiohead when the band is actually together and not chasing its respective solo dreams and projects, regularly plays DJ sets around the world and reportedly took to the decks on Saturday night in the backstage area of the festival. However, the festival did not advertise Yorke’s appearance prior to him getting behind the turntables Saturday night and as a result, a measly eight people were on hand when he started his set. One attendee remarked that Yorke is “probably the most influential artist of the past decade and here he is prepping to play to half a dozen drunk hippies.” And the problem with that is Other than, of course, the fact that many of those who saw the show of a lifetime up close and personal reportedly had absolutely no idea who Yorke was. Odds are that some of those tweakers were oblivious to Yorke’s identity, but knew exactly who other festival performers such as Superfood, Foxes, Dry The River and DZ Deathrays were. This was the ninth year for the independent festival, which took place over three days at Lower Exe Farm in North Conrnwall. Maybe next year some dude with a couple of Sharpies and a sheet of copier paper can drum up some advertising if Yorke decides to make a return appearance……..


- Ladies, you may listen, you may speak, but if you are in Turkey, you may not laugh. At least not if Deputy Prime Minister Bulent Arinc is the one making the decision. This forward thinker and intellectual revolutionary made waves last week when he proclaimed that not laughing out loud in public is among the requirements of being an honorable woman. On the surface, it might seem like an intellectually stunted and Stone Age-worthy line of thinking, but everyone knows how totally slutty it makes a chick look if she just laughs at anyone’s joke. For some odd reason, the ladies of Turkey were not down with the comments and many of them took to Twitter to protest by posting photos of themselves laughing heartily at what were undoubtedly hilarious jokes that just happened to be told right before someone grabbed their iPhone and snapped a very candid picture. The social media outrage was merely the first stage of the blowback, as women's rights activists and female legislators have now filed a legal complaint against Arinc, with legislator Aylin Nazliaka saying the women filed the complaint with court officials in Istanbul on Monday. Arinc is accused of violating charters on gender discrimination and allowing women to become "targets" of possible violence if they laugh in public. The good news for all who love caveman philosophy and have sided with Arinc is that the complaint is extremely unlikely to lead to legal action against the politician. It’s more of a symbolic gesture aimed at sending Arinc a message that "his discriminatory" statements are not acceptable. If only someone had a funny joke to break the tension here………


- Louis van Gaal is something of a soccer egomaniac with the credentials to match. Now that he’s the manager of a very expensive, historic English soccer franchise coming off a disappointing season, the man who guided the Dutch to a third-place finish at this year’s World Cup, van Gaal is wasting no time throwing his weight around. The Manchester United manager inherited a high-priced team with many high-profile acquisitions, one of whom found himself in the doghouse immediately. Luke Shaw, who joined United for a $40 million transfer fee, doesn’t seem to have impressed his new coach. No sooner than van Gaal arrived in Manchester than he took one look at Shaw and declared the 19-year-old's fitness to be lacking. Even enough Shaw was a member of the English team that competed at the World Cup in Brazil, his conditioning did not meet van Gaal’s standards when the team came together for training at Carrington less than a month after the tournament. That led the manager to send Shaw away, as in forcing him to train separately from the rest of the team until he is able to get himself back into shape. With United currently touring the United States playing exhibition matches, Shaw is on the road with them, but working out on his own. Asked why, Van Gaal said: "He is OK, but I am always a trainer-coach who sees individuals and what they need. He needs to be fit and is not very fit and fit enough to do what I want. He needs to train individually until he is fit." According to van Gaal, Shaw actually agreed with his assessment, but neither is sure how long it will take for the striker to get back where his coach wants him physically. Shaw will continue to work out with conditioning coach Tony Strudwick, doing inane things like running sprints and practicing his passing for now. The good news for United is that exhibition games in a foreign country don’t matter at all and Shaw’s absence isn't ruining anyone’s day except his own………


- The real news when it comes to the alleged hacking of the city of St. Louis’ website isn't that the hacking supposedly took place, but more so that anyone knows the site exists and spent any time on it at all. Websites for local government aren't exactly known for shattering Web traffic records or boasting innovative content, but some bored hacker who was between games of “Call of Duty” and hadn't yet settled on a time to make a Taco Bell run with his fellow computer dork buddies decided that it would be amusing to worm his or her way in and alter some key data on the city’s official website ahead of statewide primary elections on Aug. 5. The site is allegedly a place where voters can get election information about the Missouri Primary, if anyone actually logged onto government websites seeking anything other than a coma due to boredom. Google picked up on the potential hacking, as it flags websites as hacked when a hacker may have made changes to the information on the site. The Web search giant flags such sites and recommends that people stay away from them until security is restored and the site is declared safe. Visiting before the all clear is given can expose a user’s device to spam or malware. Again, all of this would matter a whole lot more if this had happened to a site that more than five people a year visit, perhaps one with lots of porn or some adorable cat videos………

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