Friday, August 29, 2014

Audubon kooks v. NFL, Scotland fights for independence and Rivers Cuomo's new TV show


- Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo has never been the spotlight-loving egomaniac that so many lead singers tend to be. He has been downright reclusive at various points during his career and yet, here he is on the verge of becoming a network TV star. Cuomo is set to star in a new comedy based around his own life and the project will air on Fox. It is based on Cuomo’s life story and the series will be written by Steve Franks, who had an über-successful run as the scribe for the former USA network series “Psych.” The as-of-yet-untitled Cuomo-based series will tell the tale of a 30-something rock star who is worried about his success and makes the difficult decision to walk away from music at the apex of his career to rediscover the parts of his life he missed out on when he was becoming famous. It will approach the story from a semi-autobiographical angle, including real events from Cuomo's own life such as him attending Harvard University on and off from 1995 to 2006. In real life, Cuomo took a sabbatical from his successful rock career eight years ago to return to Harvard full-time, living in dorms and dining in the cafeteria with his fellow Harvard smaht kids. In addition to writing, Franks will executive produce the comedy with Tagline Television's Chris Henze. It is the next project in a busy time for Cuomo, who along with his Weezer bandmates just teased the latest track from their forthcoming album “Everything Will Be Alright In The End.” The project is set for release on Oct. 7……….


- The fight for Scottish independence is heating up ahead of the Sept. 18 vote to decided whether to break away from the rest of the United Kingdom. With three weeks to go before the decision is made on staying in the union or going its own way, Scotland is as divided as ever and groups from every direction are banding together to make their final pitch for either side of the issue. That includes 200 business leaders who have offered support for the idea of Scottish independence from Britain, speaking out in response to a letter from other companies contending that there are too many uncertainties surrounding independence to approve the measure. An open letter lays out the case for independence, with the business leaders claiming that the real threat to Scotland's economy comes from the British Conservative Party's willingness to hold a referendum on taking Britain out of the European Union. It’s a bold counterpoint, but at this point, most polls and experts believe that the odds are against Scots having the kahones under their kilts that it will take to strike out on their own and be a free nation. Warring factions of business leaders arguing back and forth isn't likely to sway too many votes and with vital issues such as what currency the country would use still unresolved and Prime Minister David Cameron traveling to Scotland Thursday to campaign to keep Britain together, this fight is a long way from over……….


- Josh Gordon is having himself quite a week. First, the NFL upheld his season-long suspension for a third violation of its substance abuse policy and he had the temerity to chastise the league for not exercising better judgment and discretion in its decision on his appeal. If that wasn’t enough, word leaked later in the week that the troubled receiver was considering playing in the Canadian Football League while serving his ban. The idea of one of the best receivers in the NFL toiling on 120-yard fields in the great white north for minimal money was equally hilarious as Browns fans expecting the league to rule in Gordon’s favor, but the dream of Canadian football fun ended before Gordon could say Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. No sooner than rumors rose of Gordon’s interest in the CFL, NFL sources said that provisions in his Browns contract would prevent him from doing so. CFL officials confirmed that under their rules, Gordon would not be eligible to play because teams are prohibited from signing a suspended player of any league who is under contract with his league. Unless the Browns do an about-face and release their most talented player, that won't change. Instead, arbitrator Harold Henderson decision to uphold Gordon's 2014 season suspension for a failed test for marijuana will prevent Gordon from balling anywhere other than a grassy lot at the local elementary school and he will have to focus on staying in shape, staying out of trouble and dealing with the myriad mountains of sh*t threatening to turn him into the latest über-talented NFLer who weeded, stupid-ed and bumbled his way out of the league despite mountains of raw physical ability………..


- Congrats, kooks of Minnesota’s Audubon Society. You’re slowly but steadily backing down an NFL franchise worth hundreds of millions of dollars after it muscled the people of your fine state for the tax dollars to build itself a shiny new football palace. The Audubon fools already convinced the Minnesota Vikings to turn off stadium lights at night during migration season for birds getting the hell out of their frozen tundra of a state, but that wasn’t enough for these avian-loving losers. No, their next demand is for specially glazed bird-safe glass installed in the stadium to protect the lives of thousands of birds. According to the Audubon Society, thousands of people are concerned about birds hitting the large glass windows that will be in the new Vikings Stadium. To make its case, the organization delivered a petition containing 70,000 signatures – no word on how many are legit - to Gov. Mark Dayton’s office. “Gov. Dayton has called it the people’s stadium,” a spokesman for the organization said. “These are the signatures of the people and now we want the people’s government to make the stadium safe for the people’s birds.” The people’s birds? Hey ass hats…..they’re not YOUR birds. They don’t belong to you, you didn’t raise them, they don’t live in your home and they don’t know who the hell you are. They’re just birds and while they shouldn’t be abused or tortured, they also can't hold the world hostage with ridiculous demands to protect their tiny-brained selves from the harsh realities of a modern world. Yes, the Audubon Society says adding bird-safe glass to the $1 billion stadium will add about $1 million in extra costs and that seems like a small amount, but this isn't about money. It’s about the cost of capitulating to the whims of people whose idea of a fun weekend is crouching in some soggy marsh land with their high-powered binocular in the hopes of spotting some rare winged creature……….

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