- Louis van Gaal is NOT finding a lot of early success in
his efforts to breathe life back into the most vaunted soccer team in the
world. The Dutch bench boss came on to lead Manchester United this season with
the idea of taking their overpriced roster and returning it to the top of the
English Premier League and eventually, the Champions League. Those goals seem
further away than ever after a truly humiliating defeat Monday at the hands of
third-tier English club MK Dongs, which stepped onto the pitch with Man U and
b*tch-slapped the titans in a 4-0 result that may as well have been 400-0. It
was easily one of the most humiliating defeats in the franchise’s long and
storied history and left van Gaal without a win in three matches. The loss
knocked United out of the Capital One Cup and while that’s not exactly a loss
in the Champions League final, the odds of getting to the CL with anything
other than a very expensive seat in the stands just got very long for the Red
Devils. Will Grigg and Arsenal loaner Benik Afobe scored a goal apiece as
United were humbled by a team that began the night 38 places below them in the
league ladder. For longtime United fans, the loss undoubtedly resurrected
painful memories of their last League Cup second-round fixture in 1995 when
they lost to York. On the heels of an uninspired 1-1 tie with Sunderland in its
previous game, United showed zero heart and even less effort to roll over for a
team from the lowly League One. Captain Jonny Evans made a glaring mistake to
set up the first MK Dons goal and it was a giant clusterf*ck of ineptitude for
the Red Devils from there………
- What does a sumo wrestler do to get his cardio in on the
weekend? For Rigby, Calif. native Kelly Gneiting, the answer was simple: swim the
width of mighty Bear Lake twice. Gneiting realized his quest would seem insane
and impossible for a man tipping the scales at over 400 pounds, but he
completed the 14-mile swim against the windy and stormy conditions. "I
just hope that people everywhere don't let their weakness or their perceived
weakness stop them from fulfilling their dreams and reaching their goals,"
Gneiting said. "That's what this was all about." To make his feat
even more badass, Gneiting started at 1 a.m. Monday and finished by 5 p.m. Getting
up to swim in chilly waters at 1 a.m. takes balls and so does swimming for 16
hours straight without a break as three people guide you in two boats to ensure
that you don’t become fish bait. The swim was so dangerous that two people have
drowned in Bear Lake this year and park officials try to discourage anyone from
attempting a similar swim. Gneiting conceded that what he did was dangerous and
that he wondered at times if he had aimed a bit too high, but that he kept
going because he felt compelled to finish the challenge for everyone else who
feels as if they aren't able to accomplish what they deem to be impossible. "I
feel like I represent fat people everywhere and when I can come out here and
succeed at swimming something like this, through a miracle, then hopefully it
changes the way people think about big people," he added. For a man who
bested the world record in 2008 as the heaviest man to have completed a
marathon and has set his sights on swimming the 21-mile-wide English Channel,
maybe Bear Lake is just the start………..
- Step the hell back, Biebs. Justin Bieber has already
pissed on all manner of American society with various crimes, misdemeanors and
utterly unlistenable music, but the pop-singing Canadian chick desperately
trying for street cred by tatting himself up like a biker with a sugar mama
needs to dial it down because his latest stunt is his most egregious and
offensive yet. While many a pop hack has ventured outside their very limited
skill set and tried to glom onto an artist with actual talent and credibility –
inevitably with disastrous results – Bieber’s foray into the world of Johnny
Cash cannot go unpunished. The Man in Black has cranked out more iconic songs
than Bieber has ill-advised tats, but his classic track “Ring of Fire” is never
going to be the same again thanks to a hack-tastic cover by Bieber and his pal
Khalil. The duo posted a truly heinous video on Instagram showing Bieber playing guitar
and singing the 1969 song alongside Khalil, neither of them showing even a
shred of the requisite amount of shame they should feel for what they were
doing to one of the best-known tracks in the past century of music. The video
was posted alongside a message which reads: "We wake up singin good ol
johny cash @khalil came with with the crazy tone lol." No one else is
laughing, ass hat, nor should they be. Next time you want to take a giant piss
on a piece of musical history, count to 10 and then, for the sake of the artist
whose tune you’re about to assassinate and anyone unfortunate enough to hear
it, just don’t………..
- Every (Tuesday) France is shuffling. On this particular
Tuesday, the shuffling was with the explicit intent of silencing dissidents who had openly criticized Socialist President
Francois Hollande's economic policy as he tries to pull the nation out of
stagnation and steer it toward growth. Hollande has taken aim at various
wealthy individuals and businesses with his controversial policies, but his
most recent agenda ruffled enough feathers to create a massive outcry that
apparently had to be stifled. Arnaud Montebourg, who had publicly railed
against government policy as being too austere and even unjust to the French,
was ousted as head of the Economy Ministry in favor of Emmanuel Macron, who had
earlier served as top adviser in charge of economy. Other lower-ranking
officials were also forced out, although Finance Minister Michel Sapin stayed
in place and other dissenting voices such as Foreign Affairs Minister Laurent
Fabius and Defense Minister Jean-Yves Le Drian also kept their jobs. The
changes came less than five months after the ambitious and popular Prime
Minister Manuel Valls took office with a burning passion for promoting Hollande’s
agenda at all costs. Those costs have been clear in a short amount of time, as Hollande
is the most unpopular president in recent French history, with ratings below 20
percent. Macron and his pro-business ideas could be a boost for the economy and
also send a positive signal to European Union partners, but Hollande isn't exactly
in a position of power with most of his country wanting him gone. This is how
heads eventually end up on pikes, paraded through the capital……….
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