Sunday, April 20, 2014

Nike needs help, "The Voice Karaoke" needs a new judge and NHL playoffs rage


- Why are the NHL playoffs so great to watch, even for casual hockey fans? Because of the drama, the pressure, the intensity….and the middle-aged coaches in suits on the bench who are F-bombing the world and grabbing their junk in anger. Chicago Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville got the postseason off to a simmering start in Game 1 of his team’s first-round series against the St. Louis Blues, which St. Louis won 4-3 in triple overtime. Quenneville became incensed after the puck was sent out of play at 6:51 of the second overtime and as the officials were meeting to discuss whether the Blues should be called for delay of game, he was seen on camera gesturing to the officials that the puck went over the glass. A penalty call would have given the Blackhawks a 5-on-3 advantage for 36 seconds, but the call went in favor of the Blues and when it did, sh*t got real on the Blackhawks’ bench. Video showed Quenneville gripping his package and screaming what appeared to be an obscenity at the officials. Sadly, he quickly backpedaled from his actions and tried to downplay what he had done. “I was definitely excited," he said. "Disappointed [in] the call, but I'll apologize for my behavior. It wasn't appropriate at all. It was a bush-league move on my part." The league was not impressed with that apology and dinged Quenneville $25 for inappropriate conduct. In truth, a $25,000 bonus would have been a better play because the story has more people talking about hockey and for a sport that consistently lags behind its peers, that’s a good thing……


- Brought down by wine. Drunken antics have snipered plenty of politicians over the course of history, but the leader of Australia's most populous state can't blame the loss of his gig on what he did when he was too deep into a bottle of vino. New South Wales Premier Barry O'Farrell went down because of the bottle, but not because of what was inside of it. He resigned this week in the face of mounting evidence that he failed to declare a $2,800 that arrived as a gift on his Sydney doorstep. That’s a problem because he initially told a corruption inquiry that he never received a bottle of 1959 Penfolds Grange Hermitage as a gift from businessman Nick Di Girolamo. Di Girolamo allegedly sent him the bottle a few weeks after O’Farrell’s  2011 election win and had O’Farrell merely owned receiving the bottle at any point prior to the inquiry, his troubles would likely have been significantly lesser. Yes, Grange is an iconic label and is synonymous with expensive Australian wine and its vintages are consistently rated among Australia's best shiraz. Yet assuming that a gift of a $3,000 bottle of wine was some sort of bribe or unscrupulous gift is just a reach and O’Farrell just accidentally forgot to add the valuable gift to a public register aimed at deterring political donors from buying influence. It was all one big mistake and yet, being the upstanding guy he is, O’Farrell courageously resigned because he was told that a thank-you note he wrote to Di Girolamo and his wife would be handed over to the Independent Commission Against Corruption, an agency that investigates allegations of official corruption. "Dear Nick and Jodie," O'Farrell wrote in the note. "We wanted to thank you for your kind note & the wonderful wine. 1959 was a good year, even if it is getting even further away!" In his version of the story, O’Farrell admitted writing the note, but insisted he could not recall receiving the wine. This could have something to do with the fact that he has long maintained a reputation as a politician with integrity above reproach………


- When legislators truly grasp the pressing nature of important issues facing their constituents and take decisive actions to address those matters, the world is a beautiful place. Witness the scene going on right now in the Nutmeg State, where lawmakers are tackling one of the biggest dilemmas plaguing society today. Like every state in the U.S., Connecticut has more than its reasonable share of portly people. Many of those carrying too many pounds around are children and because children are notoriously bad about eating unhealthy foods and not giving a damn, someone has to step in and help them when they refuse to help themselves. That’s where the elected officials of the state legislature come in. A few of these heroes have proposed a new bill that would ban whole milk from daycare centers. That’s right, the fatties playing on the Little Tykes playground equipment are going to switch to low-fat milk whether they and their snotty-nosed friends like it or not. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends children switch to low-fat milk after the age of 2 and says those who drink whole milk are more likely to be obese. This may seem like nonsense given how quickly children grow and how soon they shed baby fat as their bodies go into hyper-growth mode, but legislators are having none of it. If the bill passes, children 2 years old and older would be switched to 1 or 2 percent milk at daycares across the state. Much like human growth hormone and various steroids, whole milk would only be given out to children able to produce a note from their physician declaring it to be medically necessary. For now, other beverages such as tea or juice would not face such stiff regulation, but at this rate it’s only a matter of time……..


- Are there any proud owners of Nike FuelBands out there? Probably not, but any remaining members of that group are about to exit stage left amidst rumors that Nike is officially abandoning development on all FuelBand hardware. Those whispers come alongside news that Nike has allegedly fired most of those who were responsible for working on its hardware team — approximately 70 to 80 percent of the FuelBand's 70-employee work group. In a statement, a Nike spokesman refused to comment on the rumors and said only that the Nike+ FuelBand SE is an "important part" of its business. Nike’s official position is that it will continue to work on the app, launch the fitness band with new colors and ultimately sell and support the FuelBand "for the foreseeable future." That’s the sort of ringing endorsement owners of professional sports teams give embattled coaches before firing them the next week, so take all of those puffed-up words for what they’re worth. Early indications are that the company will look to sell its remaining inventory but hasn’t made any long-term commitment to the line. Reasons for the undisclosed decision to cut off the product line are likewise murky, but it seems Nike simply can't match the pace of competitors whose specific focus on the wearables category gives them an edge on the House Phil Knight Built. The myriad data FuelBand collects hasn’t been used for much and the company still doesn't have an Android app that can connect up to its devices nearly 18 months after its launch. Nike remains in the fitness realm with the imminent release of the API for its Nike+ software platform and other corporate ties could allow it to stay in the field without having to directly produce its own Fuel-led hardware. Needing to partner with other companies to git r’ done is nothing new for Nike, which has been working with Apple to develop products since 2006. Still, it’s not an overly positive sign for a corporate titan……..


- At this point, it couldn’t matter less which pop music hacks NBC drops into the red leather chairs on the set of “The Voice Karaoke.” Swap out one mainstream pop hack for another and it’s all the same show, filled with hordes of wannabe karaoke sensations butchering other people’s songs. Even so, the Peacock is keeping up the charade and shuffling the deck chairs on its musical Titanic by plugging in new coaches with some of its existing mentors who have moved on to less ridiculous endeavors. As the netowkr readies its summer lineup and prepares to announce it to the world, it is simultaneously working to fill the empty spots on its reality karaoke coaching staff. Über-producer/Top 40 pop hack Pharrell Williams has already signed on to replace Cee Lo Green, one of the original four coaches, but there is another void to fill because Christina Aguilera will likely be on a maternity break for the birth of her second child by the time Season 7 begins filming in June. Who could possible be available on short notice to tell these karaoke poseurs to sing on key and move around as they hack up songs someone else wrote and recorded? How about the wildly overrated Gwen Stefani? Stefani makes sense because neither she nor her wretched band No Doubt has ever possessed a shred of musical credibility, yet she always bristles and fights back whenever anyone points this out. She is an ideal fit for this gig and after giving birth her third son in late February, she can probably use a job that doesn’t have her on the road belting out garbage songs in a different city each night. Along with her clothing line and other business endeavors, a reality karaoke coaching stint makes sense. Williams even brought Stefani onstage for a duet last weekend at Coachella last weekend, exacerbating speculation that the two will soon work together. Besides, Stefani has already waded into the steaming cesspool of sonic garbage that is reality karaoke television, serving as a guest mentor on the sixth season of Fox’s “American Karaoke” and inspiring Sanjaya Malakar's infamous fauxhawk……….

No comments: