Friday, April 04, 2014

Greek corruption, Jack White goes one-day release and the Cubs embarrass themselves again


- Time to silence those pesky pooches, residents of Palmetto Bay, Fla. If you don’t, The Man will do it for you. Mayor Shelley Stanczyk has received one too may complaints from residents who are pissed that Fido or Rocky won't stop barking at night and when they knock on their neighbor’s door and demand that the dog’s owner shut their pet up, nothing happens. In response, Stanczyk has roposed that the noise ordinance be changed to allow anyone to file a complaint with the city for a dog that barked for 20 minutes or longer, or more than five times in an hour. While this could lead to a sudden surge in purchases of video and/or audio recording equipment, the proposed penalties are a nice step in the right direction for people WHO JUST WANT SOME GODDAMN PEACE AND QUIET FOR A WHILE. A first violation would net a measly warning, but the second would net a $250 fine, followed by a $500 ding for a third violation. In order to truly make a difference and get through to the kooks who spend $300 on velvet-covered dog beds, feed their pooch prime rib and are pathetic, alone and delusional enough to think their dog is their actual child, the city will need to do more than it’s planning on doing. Having its noise control officer issue a notice of civil infraction to the animal owner and give the owner a maximum of 30 days to correct the problem before issuing the first citation is a weak-ass move and Stanczyk has to know it. The law would force dog owners to prove their dog didn’t bark for 20 minutes or five times in an hour. Mayor Stanczyk also needs to eliminate potential caveats to the ordinance, including the barking dog being spurred on by a trespasser or if Fido is teased or provoked. Get rid of the what-ifs and drop the hammer, plain and simple ……..


- The 2014 season is not off to a sparkling start for the Chicago Cubs. They lost their first series of the year – again – including a 16-inning heartbreaker in their second game. Even when they won their first game on Thursday, they could not get off the field unscathed. Cue Cubs outfielder Junior Lake, who went 1-for-4 in Thursday's 3-2 victory over the Pittsburgh Pirates despite showing up with a colossal wardrobe blunder. Lake, a rookie who clearly is a bit overwhelmed by the major league world, looked a little bit off when he stepped up to the plate in the first inning. With the rest of the team wearing the Cubs’ gray road jerseys with "Cubs" written across the front, Lake looked conspicuously out of place with a gray road uniform with  "Chicago" written on it. Lake explained how he came to realize his mistake – other than the obvious. it. "Bullpen guy [Justin Grimm] told me I had the wrong jersey. I looked and said [f---]," Lake said following the game. He was alerted to his error in the first inning and after the Pirates' final out in the bottom of the frame, Lake sprinted to the clubhouse to change. How did he get so confused in the first place? According to Lake, he became confused because both jerseys were hanging in his locker. "Everyone looked at me," he said. "I see two gray, I take the wrong one." Manager Rick Renteria was unaware of the mistake until after the game, but his ignorance doesn’t excuse Lake’s. After all, the team wore the "Cubs" jersey during their entire three-game series with the Pirates, so it’s not as if they switched it up at the last minute to pull one over on the rookie………


- Google f*cks up too. For example, when the tech giant agreed to buy connected-home device maker Nest in January, Google officials didn’t seem to understand every possible angle or problem with the shiny new toy they just purchased. If they had, they wouldn’t now be hurriedly urging customers to disable a feature that allows its Nest Protect smoke and carbon-monoxide alarm to be silenced with a wave of the hand. The feature, unimaginatively called Nest Wave, is one of the key selling points of the device, but a Google blog post noted that using it “could delay an alarm going off if there was a real fire.” To fix this potential disaster in the making, Nest is sending an update to the $129 Internet-connected Nest Protect alarms that will disable the feature until it comes up with a more permanent fix for the problem. Additionally, Nest is halting sales of the device and said customers who didn’t want to keep the alarm could get a complete refund. “We identified this problem ourselves and are not aware of any customers who have experienced this, but the fact that it could even potentially happen is extremely important to me and I want to address it immediately,” CEO Tony Fadell wrote in the post. The rare few who don’t have their devices connected to a working Internet link have been advised to magically find an Internet link and connect their Nest alarm in order to receive the update and avoid letting their home burn to the ground in a giant ball of fire. When it works properly. Nest’s alarm system integrates with a home Wi-Fi network that allows alarms to exchange data among themselves and with a user’s mobile phone. Should an alarm be triggered in an unoccupied room, the alarms in occupied rooms will warn users. Ironically, the networking function has been well-received by users, as has the Nest Wave function. Still, now would be a good time to yank down that Nest video showing consumers waving newspapers, cloths and other things at conventional smoke alarms to silence them along with the caption “This doesn’t make us safer.” You know, because removing things from the Internet always makes the problem go away……….


-  No recording artist has poured themselves into the annual attempt to keep old-school music alive that is Record Store Day quite like Jack White. The former White Stripes frontman, current Dead Weather and Raconteurs lead singer, solo artist and president of Third Man Records does something extra special for the occasion each year and presides over the festivities from his perch in Nashville. With RSD lurking on April 19, White has big plans to celebrate this time around. In his most ambitious RSD promotion to date, White plans to record and release a single in one day. He record the song “Lazaretto” on stage in the “blue room” during a live set at his Third Man Records base in Nashville at 10 a.m. EST, laying down a live version of the title track from his second solo album. The album itself doesn’t drop until June 9, but after White finishes recording the track, the masters will be taken to local record plant United Record Pressing. There, 45rpm singles will be pressed and the sleeves will be printed from photos taken of the recording. From there, the newly minted singles will be rushed back to Third Man records for sale. The process will continue for as long as devoted hipsters in need of a rarity to add to their vinyl collection are waiting to buy them. “Lazaretto” is the follow-up to White’s 2012 debut release “Blunderbuss,” which was critically acclaimed and did fairly well commercially. “Lazaretto” will be released through White's own Third Man label and XL Recordings and to trumpet the release, Third Man will release a limited edition “Lazaretto” LP pressed on split-color blue and white vinyl with exclusive album art. To spice up the offering, the LP will be packaged with a photo and a 7-inch single featuring two early demos of songs from the album………… 


- Sometimes it seems like all the do-gooders at Amnesty International care about is stirring up trouble and pointing fingers at various governments around the globe. What are these international accusers doing this week? Targeting the hard-working Greek law enforcement community, that’s what. The latest batch of inflammatory claims coming from the human rights group concern an alleged culture of impunity and abuse within the Greek police, which it also criticizes for inadequately responding to hate crimes and attacks by far-right groups on migrants and protesters. That sounds an awful lot like fingering The Man for allegedly beating down citizens without fear of repercussion and not giving a damn when extremists attack the lesser segments of society. Them are fighting words, especially when they come in the provocative form of a blistering report in which Amnesty called on the government to eradicate "a range of failures that are undermining public confidence in the police and generating a host of human rights violations." Ouch, bleeding heart liberals. Words hurt. Maybe not as much as some neo-Nazi extremist violently assaulting you for no reason and the police refusing to do a damn thing about it, but it still hurts. Among the reports flashpoints are allegations of torture or ill-treatment during arrest and detention, including from migrants caught entering or living in the country illegally. Additionally, AI claims that law enforcement officials have been active participants in some of the alleged abuses, which were recorded between July 2012 and February 2014. As one might expect, police insist all reports of abuse are investigated and deny tolerating abuses………

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