Saturday, April 19, 2014

Cow sh*t energy, Mark Cuban is insane(ly greedy) and Mara Wilson is a Hollywood genius


- Jews…Egyptians….Belgians…..it’s an international religious artifact smuggling drama like the world has never seen, not since the last time shady criminals attempted to steal priceless artifacts and smuggle them across the border of another country. This particular tale involves authorities in Egypt seizing a cache of Jewish religious artifacts that smugglers allegedly wanted to ship to Belgium at one of the country's main ports. Antiquities Minister Mohammed Ibrahim confirmed the seize in a statement released Friday that officials found the artifacts while searching cargo Thursday at the coastal city of Damietta. The haul was quite impressive, including a cylindrical wooden box plated in silver that would have held Torah scrolls. There was also a silver knife dating to roughly 1890 with inscriptions, and bells commonly hung in synagogues. All in all, it’s the sort of treasure trove of old stuff that could have brought six figures or more on the black market and it also represents a rare period in Egyptian history in which there was some semblance of religious tolerance in the country. Such an era seems light years away now, given the massive dearth of security the country has existed in since a 2011 uprising toppled then-leader Hosni Mubarak. Since then, chaos has gripped the nation and scumbags have seized upon this chance to thieve thousands of valuable artifacts. A committee will study and date the recovered cache of old stuff and determine what to do with it next. Meanwhile, an angry Belgian black market fence is sitting in a dimly lit warehouse, polishing off a delicious Belgian waffle topped with powdered sugar and Nutella and wondering where his dam Torah scroll box is……..


- Mara Wilson is the most awesome actress in Hollywood. She earned that well-deserved distinction with a simple, yet powerful act. Wilson was a part of a train wreck of a movie 21 years ago, playing Robin Williams and Sally Field's young daughter Natalie Hillard in the 1993 comedy “Mrs. Doubtfire.” The movie featured Williams ridiculously in drag as an elderly white woman just to be close to his estranged children and somehow, no one ever saw through his truly asinine disguise. The laughs were few, the absurdity was high and Wilson was a part of the project as relatively unknown child actor who can be forgiven for not knowing how much the film sucked. Two decades later, the inexplicable news that there will be a “Mrs. Doubtfire” sequel has dropped on the world like a vat of spoiled milk. The announcement was met with justifiable skepticism by some, refusing to believe that even Hollywood was this desperate for a recognizable title to slap up on the big screen. Wilson’s reaction was entirely different and it is reason to stand and applaud her for not being a soul-less cash-grabber with no self-respect. "I've been in some mediocre movies, but I've never been in a sequel. And I have no interest in being in one now," Wilson tweeted. “Sequels generally suck unless they were planned as part of a trilogy or series. I think Doubtfire ended where it needed to end." Brav-freaking-o, Mara, brav-freaking-o. Everything she wrote in that 140-character burst was brilliant and should be taught in acting classes for the rest of humanity. Just ot make sure her message was clear, she followed it with a second tweet. “For the record, no, I do not have anything to do with the Mrs. Doubtfire sequel, nor will I.” She drove the point home a second time on her Facebook page, noting that she no longer acts in movies. Yet in spite of that, she becomes the coolest actress around merely by refusing to whore herself out for a decent payday in a garbage sequel………..


- World, we’re psychologically softer than anyone dared to imagine. According to a new study by British psychiatrists, feeble-minded victims of childhood bullying are still laboring under the effects of their teenage torment nearly four decades later. In the first study to examine the effects of childhood bullying beyond early adulthood, researchers cited the impact of such bullying as  "persistent and pervasive,” with people who were bullied when young more likely to have poorer physical and psychological health and poorer cognitive functioning at age 50. "The effects of bullying are still visible nearly four decades later ... with health, social and economic consequences lasting well into adulthood," said Ryu Takizawa, who led the study at the Institute of Psychiatry at King's College London. The data used for this sad study comes from the British National Child Development Study, which includes data on all children born in England, Scotland and Wales during one week in 1958. The research included 7,771 children whose parents gave information on their child's exposure to bullying when they were between the ages of 7 and 11. Researchers followed up/annoyingly continued questioning these children until they became adults and reached the age of 50. Approximately 28 percent of children studied were bullied occasionally and 15 percent were bullied frequently. The study factored in such components as childhood IQ, emotional and behavioral problems and low parental involvement and determined that those who were frequently bullied in childhood were at an increased risk of mental disorders such as depression, anxiety and experiencing suicidal thoughts. Additionally, victims of bullying were also more likely to have lower educational levels, less likely to be in a relationship and more likely to report lower quality of life. Men didn’t fare well at all, as those who had been bullied proved to be o more likely to be unemployed and earn less. Researcher Louise Arseneault said the findings proved how vital it is "to move away from any perception that bullying is just an inevitable part of growing-up." "Teachers, parents and policy-makers should be aware that what happens in the school playground can have long-term repercussions," she said. Nice try, enabler. It’s time to toughen up, world, and stop listening to these scientific sissies…….


- When is a nine-figure, quintessential rich dude purchase that dwarfs the gross domestic product of many Third World nations actually a bargain? According to Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, that isn't a bizarre riddle that only the 1 percent can understand. As the bombastic billionaire sees it, the purchase of the worst team in the NBA - located in one of the most undesirable places to live and work in the Association - for approximately $550 million is highway robbery for men who only travel on the highway on their way to the airport to board their private jet. After longtime Milwaukee Bucks owner Herb Kohl announced that he had reached an agreement to sell the team to hedge-fund billionaires Wesley Edens and Marc Lasry, Cuba moved quickly to play up the sale as the equivalent of finding a Picasso in the dollar bin at the neighborhood yard sale. "I think they got off cheap," Cuban said. "I think that was a bargain. I think it's worth a lot more. I think it's worth a lot more than that. I think someone got a bargain. You can't look backwards. You've got to look forward. You don't value teams based off what happened in the past." The deal is still subject to approval by the NBA and its board of governors, but even without hat approval, Cuban appears to be full of shit. In January, Forbes valued the Bucks at $405 million, the lowest among the NBA's 30 teams. Perhaps Cuban looks at the then-record $285 million he paid for the Mavericks in 2000, sees the soaring costs and wants to drive up prices even further for he and his fellow uber-wealthy pals. Why? Because when he was asked whether the league should consider adding an expansion team, Cuban said he was cool with it - as long as the price tag as massive. "I'm not opposed to it," Cuban said. "This is just me talking, but we'd be crazy to sell it for under a billion dollars." Let’s see….a billion dollars…..divided by 30 guys who don’t really need any more money…..is a sh*t load of cash.……..


- Cow dung is more valuable than one might imagine. A farmer in Scott County, Iowa is taking the smelly stuff that drops from the non-business end of his cattle and turning it into the fuel needed to drive his farm’s operations. With 2,400 cows on his land, Bryan Sievers has plenty of manure with which to work. Each  of his cud-chomping cattle consumes  40 pounds of feed daily and that leads to a lot of cow feces. With so many cow pies on the ground, Sievers began thinking that there had to be a way to do something productive with the poop. Digging deep into his Iowa farmer pockets, he invested $7 million to the waste into clean power for Alliant Energy. “There’s nothing that goes to waste on a farm like this,” Sievers said. “The more they eat, the more energy we produce.” His unique setup is one of only three in the entire state and the system is relatively simple. Waste falls through a slotted floor and is transported to a device called a digester does a bunch of fancy science stuff and poof, energy comes out the other end. Actually, the manure travels through a series of pipes and tanks and is converted into methane gas. The energy generated in a day is enough to power 1,000 homes. The generator that cranks out the energy has been online since September and it creates enough power for the entire farm and the aforementioned 1,000 homes. For his participation in this process - which consists of getting his cows to poop in the right place and keeping them alive long enough to make that happen, Sievers gets a monthly check for about $24,000 from Alliant Energy. “If you stretch yourself with what you want to achieve, with your farm operation you can probably do more than you might think,” he said, sounding very much like a combination between a bovine Buddha and Warren Buffett. All of this is important not only because it supplements the always-lacking income of a Midwestern farmer and his family, but also because it reduces the Sievers family’s carbon footprint and that is something of which they can all be immensely proud………

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