American gluttony triumphs again, Apple unveils the new iTunes and suing the most arrogant sheriff in the U.S.A.

- Heading into Apple’s yearly September keynote by CEO Steve Jobs Wednesday afternoon, there was plenty of buzz about what major announcements the head man would make. Would the iPod be phased out? What changes would occur with Apple TV? As it turns out, the iPod will not be phased out and instead will receive a major makeover, while Apple TV will indeed get a facelift of its own. Jobs kicked off the speech by unveiling an updated iOS and newly redesigned iPods. “It’s the biggest change in the iPod line ever,” Jobs said. For starters, the iPod Shuffle is returning to button-based navigation, and will be available in five colors, each $49 (assuming you enjoy trying to cram music onto a tiny 2GB hard drive). The iPod Nano is changing to a multitouch, and most closely resembles a tiny square iPhone. It may be the most overpriced iPod model, retailing for $149 for 8GB and $179 for 16GB. Last up is the iPod touch, which will boast a slimmer design, 3-axis gyro and rear- and front-facing cameras. The touch version is a strong rival for the Nano in the overpriced category, with the 8GB priced at $229, the 32 at $299 and the 64 is $399. That’s right, for the chance to have two cameras and a touch screen, you’ll pay twice as much as you used to pay for a non-touch iPod classic model with more hard drive space. The most exciting announcement of the day came when Jobs introduced iTunes 10, which includes a new social networking app called Ping. Jobs termed Ping a “social music discovery,” but the only thing being shared socially will be the (usually horrible) music opinions of users. It looks like a blatant Facebook rip-off, but iTunes is far from the only entity looking to gravy train off the Facebook phenomenon. The last big reveal of the day was Apple TV’s new look, updating a service that Jobs himself admitted hasn’t been “a huge hit.” Apple hopes that will change with the second generation Apple TV, which fits in your hand. Like new Apple computers, it has an HDMI cable for video and also connects through Wi-Fi or Ethernet. A key difference is that users can no longer purchase content, but only rent it. That seems like a mistake and a bad change on Apple’s part because why would anyone pay $4.99 to rent movies the DVD comes out when they can probably pay that same amount to buy it from their cable or satellite provider? Additionally, the TV offerings are going to be extremely limited with only Fox and ABC in the Apple TV fold so far. Even with shows costing 99 cents, Apple needs to get NBC, the CW (unfortunately), USA, Comedy Central, MTV, etc. involved. As for the rental-only thing….still not sold. “There are no purchases anymore. There’s no storage. It’s so affordable you can rent something several times for less than buying it. And you can stream from your computer,” Jobs explained. Perhaps the best aspect of the new Apple TV is that it will stream instant Netflix content and anything off your computer. Jobs even labeled it “the best implementation of Netflix,” which I also have doubts about. Either way, the new Apple TV is $99 and is available for preorder now………..

- U.S.A.! U.S.A.! Others may let this great nation down, but never my man Joey Chestnut. J. Chestnut rips through fatty, greasy, unhealthy foods like a freaking swarm of locusts, never pausing to catch his breath or apologize for the carnage. He now owns the Nathan’s International Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating contest like a second car, dominates the International Federation of Competitive Eaters tour and can chow down on any food set in front of him no matter how disgusting. Chestnut proved it again in the West Nugget Rib Cook-off's eating competition Wednesday night in Sparks, Nev., eating freaking eight pounds of pork ribs in 12 minutes. If there was any doubt about who America's No. 1 professional eater is, there shouldn’t be. Chestnut holds world eating records for ribs, steak, asparagus, hot dogs and hamburgers - basically every holiday picnic food you can imagine. In addition to being the four-time defending Nathan’s champion, this was Chestnut’s fourth win in five years in the Nugget's competition. He absolutely b*tch-slapped runner-up Pat Bertoletti of Chicago, who beat Chestnut last year but was curb-stomped this time around. Bertoletti only managed to consume 6.9 pounds of ribs. The difference-maker seemed to be the techniques employed by the two men, as Chestnut slid the meat off each bone with his hands and ate it in a ball, while Bertoletti bit off the bone each time. In the end, it’s just another trophy on the mantle for the most dominant competitive eater in the history of the I.F.O.C.E., plain and simple………

- The most famous and arrogant sheriff in the United States is also the latest target of Justice Department civil rights lawyers. Attorneys representing the department filed suit against Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona on Thursday after failed negotiations for an agreement to provide federal investigators with documents they requested. According to the suit, Arpaio has failed to cooperate with the investigation into alleged discrimination against Hispanics by Arpaio's law enforcement officials. Arpaio, the Maricopa County sheriff know for his brash, controversial means of justice and for being a total media whore (seriously, dude had his own reality TV show), is accused by the Justice Department of "refusal to cooperate with the investigation." "The actions of the sheriff's office are unprecedented," said Assistant Attorney General Thomas Perez, chief of the Civil Rights Division. "It is unfortunate that the (Justice) Department was forced to resort to litigation to gain access to public documents and facilities." The final strike against the sheriff’s office came last Friday, when Arpaio dismissively rejected the government's demands in an open letter posted on the county's website. The letter was extremely inflammatory and all but challenged the Justice Department to file suit and come after Arpaio. In the letter, Arpaio's attorney, Robert Driscoll, stated that the Justice Department's "current position that it is entitled to any document it wants, to access any facility it wishes, and to interview any witness it wants, without limitation ... is simply unreasonable." That “Oh no, you didn’t” tone was echoed by Arpaio at a news conference Thursday. "It's rather disgusting saying we don't cooperate when we are," the sheriff sniped. "A year and a half they've been investigating me on alleged racial profiling on the streets. They can't get the proof so now they're suing me, just for documents." Well hang on there, sheriff. If the documents provide the evidence they need, why shouldn’t they be allowed to subpoena them? This is, after all, the federal government and you’re a lowly county sheriff. If the documents don’t prove your guilt in racial profiling, then why not turn them over? What makes Arpaio’s resistance all the more appalling is that it’s the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division that is looking into claims that many of Arpaio's departmental practices, including immigration sweeps, are discriminatory. If so, that would be a violation of Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination on the basis of national origin in programs that receive federal money. Terming the charges and labeling the investigation into them as a "fishing expedition" isn’t exactly within the purview of a county sheriff in Arizona. Arpaio can’t decide which documents are relevant to the investigation and turn over only those documents. So swallow your ginormously immense pride, shut your mouth and hand over the documents before the court forces you to, Sheriff Ego-paio………

- Secession talk always pumps me up. A region of any country or nation-state saying that it is going to break away from the republic and establish its own government and system of rule is as anti-establishment and screw-you as it gets. So big ups to Southern Sudan, the autonomous region in Sudan, that is giving serious consideration to unilaterally declaring its sovereignty. Rather than wait around for Sudan’s central government to plan and stage a referendum on independence by January, Southern Sudan is stepping up and taking charge of its fate. “We have reached a point of no return," vowed John Duku, Southern Sudan’s former chief diplomat to East Africa. "The independence of South Sudan cannot be stopped by anybody now." Now THAT is the sort of talk I like to hear. There is a comprehensive peace agreement dating back to 2005 and that agreement between Southern Sudanese rebels and the Khartoum government ended a 21-year north-south civil war that killed 2 million people and forced about 4 million others from their homes. It also calls for a January referendum on independence for the region, but the government is obviously in no hurry to honor the deal. Duku, aside from sharing a name with a Star Wars character, is a powerful figure in Southern Sudanese politics. His words carry weight and are generally accepted as representing the majority of South Sudanese in their dealings with the central government. Judging from his comments, he’s also a man who has run out of patience. “The clock is ticking," said Duku. "We have 129 days left to go to the referendum." Why wait? Declare secession now and ratchet up the pressure on the Khartoum government to honor its commitment to the peace agreement. There is no sense in making Southern Sudanese sweat it out until the last possible minute. Some naysayers and doubters claim that a secession vote is unlikely, but there are doubters in any revolution and this one is no different. The reality is that Southern Sudan is an incredibly impoverished nation that is roughly the size of France, yet has few paved roads, is grossly underdeveloped and ravaged by civil war even though it has some of the largest proven oil reserves in Africa. Experts agree that the region has a immense potential for both future development and for renewed conflict, so the time has officially come to decide which of those two routes Southern Sudan will take. Secede now and ask questions later, I always say………

- The new season of The Office hasn’t even begun and already fans of the show are fretting over who should replace Steve Carell when he exits the show after this season. Some are so aghast at the thought of Dunder Mifflin without Michael Scott that they argue Carrell’s final season should be the last for the series. That view isn’t shared by executive producer Paul Lieberstein, who recently gave an interview in which he revealed his dream replacement: veteran actor Harvey Keitel. “He’s probably the only guy who can do it, and he’s doing TV now,” Lieberstein said. That should come as news to Keitel, who is currently a member of the Life on Mars cast and whom Lieberstein admits he hasn’t told about his dream quite yet. However, Lieberstein already has the back story for Keitel’s potential character worked out. “He’s an old salesman who thought he could retire and the stock market went down, and he has to come out of retirement to work for a few years,” the EP stated. Lieberstein and his fellow producers are looking to go in an entirely different direction than the one Carrell has successful led them in for six seasons. That is both a good and potentially disastrous idea. See, trying to get someone to come in and be a carbon copy of Carrell would likely fail, as no one can pull of the same character and fans would probably resent the attempt. However, if the show changes drastically then viewers might also lose interest. Keitel is definitely an accomplished actor who could pull off the role, but other actors are being considered for the part, including Danny McBride (HBO’s Eastbound & Down) and Rhys Darby (HBO’s Flight of the Conchords). Ultimately, it would seem that the question of whether the show will return has been answered and now it’s simply a matter of filling in the blanks………