- It’s not exactly bulls in a china shop, but bulls on the rampage in a Long Island neighborhood is still a pretty amusing sight. Two bulls in the town of East Patchogue managed to get loose from the pasture and barn where they live and went on the run, causing a lot of problems and very nearly an ugly encounter with an oncoming train. The bulls forced a Long Island Rail Road train to come to a grinding halt Friday afternoon. The train engineer saw the bulls and stopped the train and East Patchogue resident Kenny Leitch, who was driving alongside the tracks at the time, saw the animals on the tracks and immediately got out of his car to help. "I was driving down the road going to a job and I glance over to my right and I see two bulls running down the tracks," Leitch explained. "I stopped immediately and jumped out of the car and tried to get them off the tracks because I heard the train coming. I didn't want an accident to happen so I got them off the tracks." Suffolk County and Metropolitan Transportation officers responded to the scene and monitored the animals until they could locate their owner. An hour and a half later, the owner showed up clad in a red jacket. The bulls didn’t charge him, but they were also in no mood to cooperate. They went on the run and ended up in the back yard of a home near the tracks. From there, things went a bit haywire. With the owner, police and transportation officers trying to control the bulls, they went on a mini-rampage, much to the concern of homeowner Ernie Furneaux. "I didn't want them to destroy my house or destroy or my pool," Furneaux said. "I didn't want it jumping on to the pool cover." Eventually, the bulls were corralled and returned to their home on the farm where they reside. No one was hurt in the incident, so everything ended well for all involved parties. Perhaps East Patchogue should consider putting up signs near the railroad tracks warning bulls not to play on the tracks…………
- You pay enough for an iPhone, it only makes sense that you should be able to use it for darn near everything you do in life. Steve Jobs & Co. seem to grasp that concept and Apple has recently filed for some new patents in a quest to create an “iTunes for Concert Tickets” system — or iTickets. The patents reveal a comprehensive e-ticket system wherein a user purchases a ticket via iTunes and then redeems the ticket using his or her iPhone at venues ranging from major concerts to small weddings. Should the system go into practice, it would be a way for Apple to expand iTunes beyond digital goods and add live events to the mix. Previously, Apple has teamed with the likes of Ticketmaster and concert promoter Live Nation to offer early access ticket purchasing for buyers who pre-order an album, but the iTickets system would in a sense cut out the middle man for Apple. By extension, vendors would also have a direct way to make more money by offering concert-goers easy access to live recordings of the event, exclusive interviews or additional content. In other words, they could move more merch and offer perks like discounted refreshments (think a $4 small soda instead of a $6 small soda) and digital seating maps of a venue. Apple’s summer developer’s conference is one example cited in its patent filing as the sort of place where the iTickets system could be put to use. Users of the system could have direct access to other content, talks, schedules, maps of after-parties, etc. A nice benefit for would-be users of the system is that unlike physical event tickets, which can be easily forgotten or lost, an electronic ticket on your iPhone would be much more likely to be kept track of and remembered. No one who pays several hundred dollars for a phone is going anywhere at all without it in tow. Obviously there would be bugs to work out and although Apple has applied for patents, this system is by no means ready to roll out in the immediate future. Still, it’s a fascinating concept and one I am certain we’ll see as soon as possible………….
- Nothing like trying to combine two of your worst and most overrated shows into one cross-promotional television abomination, eh Fox? On the one hand, there’s the single most overrated show in the history of overrated shows, “The Simpsons.” Yes, I realize this crap-fest has been around for 20 years and a lot of people watch it. However, we have clearly established in this very space that a lot of people liking something is not the same as it being good (see Spears, Britney, “American Karaoke,” Justin Timberlake, “Dancing With the (D-List) Stars”). It’s a freaking adult cartoon, which just might be the lamest concept ever. Cartoons are fun and entertaining because they are aimed at kids. If you are an adult and want to watch cartoons, watch kids’ cartoons. But as horrid as an adult cartoon is, it’s horrific-ness may actually be matched or exceeded by the absolute abortion that is “American Karaoke.” I’ve covered this topic ad nauseum in the past, so I won't regurgitate those thoughts here. Just know that “AK” is a) based on a crappy musical genre (pop), b) the world’s largest karaoke contest, c) filled with hacks who butcher songs that either were once good or take ones that always sucked to new lows and d) is governed by a group of self-promoting, blowhard judges who have no interest in producing actual good music. So blending “AK” and “The Simpsons” would seem like the perfect recipe for disaster, no? We’ll see the carnage for real next month during the season finale of “The Simpsons,” when “AK” judges Simon Cowell, Ellen DeGeneres, Kara DioGuardi, Randy Jackson and teeth-bleaching, tip-frosting, man-blouse-wearing karaoke jocket Ryan Seacrest will join Bart and the rest of the Springfield inhabitants. Apparently, Springfield’s beloved bartender, Moe, will receive an animated invitation to serve as an “AK” judge. Sounds like a debacle in the making to me…………
- Cocky much, Iran? Not long after proclaiming that his country had mastered advanced nuclear processing techniques, dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad proclaimed Sunday that his nation is so powerful that no country would dare attack it. "Iran's army is so mighty today that no enemy can have a foul thought of invading Iran's territory," the dictator said during an annual army parade. "Of course, Iran is a friend and brother of regional and independent nations and it wants peace, progress and security for all countries." Cue raucous laughter and eye rolling by all who hear those comments. Right, you are a friendly and loving nation that just happens to be hell-bent on blowing nearby Israel right off the map and decimating anyone who demands that you refrain from doing so. Exactly why a peace-loving nation would several models of its medium- and long-range missiles for an event, I don’t know. Maybe Ahmadinejad was irked that he didn’t receive an invitation to the nuclear summit hosted in Washington last week. Then again, it would have been a tad awkward for him to be there given the fact that most of the discussions likely had to do with stopping him from growing his burgeoning nuclear arsenal. To that end, the dictator had some harsh words for the United States at Iran’s own nuclear conference. He ripped Western powers for what he labeled hypocritical and dangerous policies that can only lead to nuclear proliferation, adding that United Nations and the International Atomic Energy Agency were ineffective because they were dominated by a few nations. "The Security Council has openly turned into a tool for the implementation of the policies of a few bullying nations," Ahmadinejad said. "This group should act in a way where all independent countries and governments could have a say and a role in running the affairs of that group.” Those words should definitely easer tensions between he and President Obama, who has been pressing the U.N. Security Council to hit Iran with tougher sanctions for its nuclear ambitions. As always, the Iranians maintain that their nuclear program is intended for civilian purposes only. "One of the greatest treasons by those that monopolize nuclear weapons is to equalize nukes with nuclear energy," Ahmadinejad said. "The way to produce weapons is totally different than nuclear energy. And they know these very well, but they plan to talk about both these things in their own monopolized way." Look, M., no one is a bigger fan of the outsider and the underdog than me, but you aren’t the plucky overachiever looking to be given the chance he or she has rightfully earned. You are that crazy, maniacal loner living in a shack out in the woods, talking to inanimate objects, eating a diet of beans out of a can and raw animal meat, writing your manifesto and plotting your revenge on the world. Come correct, admit that you want nuclear bombs to blow stuff up and we can move forward from there………….
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