Tiger's new commercial tale, Pakistan considers joining the 21st century and a stoner sees Jesus in tie-dye

- Because I made a point of avoiding Tiger Woods news and coverage during yesterday’s opening round of the Masters, I’ll admit that I didn’t see Tiger’s new Nike television ad on the actual television. I heard that it had aired and ended up catching it online, after which I found myself asking, “So that’s what everyone was talking about? Why?” As “controversial” ads go, that was by far the biggest dud I have ever seen. For those who haven’t seen it, the entire 30 seconds is comprised of an ever-narrowing mid-range shot of Tiger standing on a golf course somewhere, near the ocean, in black and white. He wears a blank expression on his face, staring straight into the camera as the voice of his late father Earl narrates the video:“Tiger, I am more prone to be inquisitive, to promote discussion. I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are. Did you learn anything?” The quote was obviously not about Tiger’s parade of skanks and the ensuing crisis they caused, not in its original context. But Nike found a good quote that could be construed to apply to his current predicament and they juxtaposed it over what I think was supposed to be the vision of a resilient, yet humbled Tiger. And I suppose the controversy is to be derived from Nike using the voice of a deceased man as the narrator for its video, especially given Tiger’s extremely close bond with Earl and their special relationship. Having said that, I don’t see any of the controversy or interest. The only reason the ad is receiving any attention is because of the context around it and not because of the content of the ad itself. The actual ad is unimaginative, mundane and eminently forgettable. It’ll be out of the back of my mind sooner rather than later and I’m not sure it accomplished a single thing in terms of changing my perception of Tiger or even giving any further consideration to his ongoing scandal. In other words, it is an ad without a point or message and all the talk about it would seem to be what a lot of Tiger’s empty words have been since his scandal broke: meaningless noises about nothing at all…………

- So did you hear that Pakistan is considering joining the rest of us in modern times and actually outlawing domestic violence? It’s true, amazingly. Rights advocates have long been lamenting the permissibility of violence against women in the home and have thrown their support behind a proposed law banning domestic violence, designed to give women a more even playing field and bring Pakistan in line with a growing number of developing nations that have outlawed spousal abuse. Amazingly, Islamist lawmakers in Parliament are objecting, claiming the law could tear apart the country’s social fabric by undermining families. Huh? Not allowing men to beat their wives, bloody their lips, bust their noses and bruise their arms would undermine your social fabric? How, by giving women the impression that they are not just punching bags for their husbands to use in relieving their anger? Pakistani husbands can’t maintain control and order in the home without their fists? Look, I get that not every nation is Westernized and women aren’t going to occupy the same place and status in every culture. However, being a Muslim-majority nation of 175 million where most people are poor, only half the adults can read and extremist ideologies are popular doesn’t mean you can just turn ladies into targets for physical abuse, which is what these hard-line legislators seem to support. They seem perfectly fine with the fact that in 2008, there were at least 7,571 incidents of acid attacks, rapes, spousal beatings and other violence against women. Those figures are on the low side because the group compiling them relied heavily on media accounts and as with many places in the world, domestic violence incidents aren’t something that always gets reported. Some surveys by activist group have found that 80 percent of wives in rural parts of Pakistan fear physical violence from their husbands, while 50 percent of women in urban areas admit their husbands beat them. Those figures are according to a 2009 U.S. State Department report on Pakistan. The bill now before parliament provides a broad definition of domestic violence beyond assault, including emotional abuse, stalking, wrongful confinement and depriving a spouse of money or other resources needed to survive. Additionally, the bill seeks to cover everyone in a household, including elderly parents, children and husbands. As part of the proposed legislation, local "protection committees," would be established with the power to file complaints on behalf of victims and a mandate to include female council members. Under the law, abusers would face months or years in prison and thousands of dollars in fines. Under current laws, obtaining justice and proving assaults is a near-impossible task for women, so those standing in the way of this bill clearly want to keep it that way. Step your game up, Pakistani lawmakers, and step into the 21st century with the rest of us…………

- I don’t make a habit of commenting on celebrity deaths because, well, talking about the deaths of others tends to be extremely depressing. However, I make the occasional exception for individuals who were particularly noteworthy and impactful in the corners of this world I tend to spend my time in and the world of punk rock music is one of those places. As such, I want to wish a melancholy happy trails to Malcolm McLaren, best known for managing the Sex Pistols and for helping kick off the '70s punk revolution. He passed away Thursday at the age of 64. McLaren's longtime girlfriend, Young Kim, confirmed his passing. Certainly never afraid of controversy or speaking his mind, McLaren was an art college graduate and clothing designer who launched a boutique, Let It Rock, with his partner, the designer Vivienne Westwood, before eventually changing its name to Sex and branching out into managing bands, taking on a band called the Strand. He recruited a new frontman, John Lydon, whom McLaren spotted wearing a Pink Floyd T-shirt with the words "I hate" added to it. Lydon, better known as Johnny Rotten, became the leader singer of a band McLaren christened as the Sex Pistols. McLaren often found himself in the spotlight as much as the band, but the Pistols’ blunt, often abrasive lyrics, raging punk power chords and legendary live performances made them a cult favorite on the punk scene. Inspired by a performance by punk legends the Ramones, the Sex Pistols went on to a number of hit songs, including "God Save the Queen," which was a huge hit despite the BBC's refusal to play the song. Obviously, the band imploded with personalities like Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious forced together and McLaren went on to manage other artists and produce albums as well. He was a textbook example of what the punk revolution was all about and he will definitely be missed…………

- Mocking kooks who think they see Jesus or the Virgin Mary in moronic places like the bark of a tree, a pile of grass clippings or a cake they baked in their over is always a lot of fun for me. That doesn’t change just because the kook in question happens to come from my little corner of the world. Fellow Ohioan Evan Chase will be mocked here without regard to his state of residence. The Cuyahoga Heights man joined an ever-expanding litany of knobs who think Jesus has made an appearance in their lives via popping up in nature or man-made creations, claiming that Jesus appeared on one of his tie-dye t-shirts on Easter Sunday. Chase,was unwrapping a tie-dye shirt he made o and said he immediately recognized the image. “All the hair on my body stood up when I first saw it… I just didn’t know how to react,” he said. I do…..by laughing my butt off at you. Believe it or not, Jesus doesn’t communicate with people via implanting his likeness on their tie-dye shirts, bro. Now, given the fact that a lot of tie-dye fans tend to be major stoners, I’m inclined to assume that Chase was merely baked out of his mind and thus thought that he saw the Son of God on his shirt. After looking at pictures of the shirt…..I’m even more convinced of this fact. Seriously, the image bears no resemblance to any human face at all, let alone the images that we now associate with what Jesus supposedly looked like. Being a (likely) stoner, it’s not surprising to me that Chase says he’s not necessarily religious. However, he says he is taking this as a sign to be positive and continue making the shirts. Whatever you say bro, whatever you say…………

- To say Fred Hill’s tenure as head men’s basketball coach at Rutgers has been unsuccessful would be quite the understatement. But no worries, Scarlet Knights fans, as your combustible coach will soon be a thing of the past. Negotiations between Rutgers athletic director Tim Pernetti and Hill to terminate Hill's employment commenced Thursday, according to a source close to the situation. Hill is fighting to keep the nearly $2 million he would be owed under his current contract, which has three years remaining. If the two sides can’t reach an agreement, then the situation would likely head to court and it will be up to the judicial system to determine if Hill can be terminated for cause. Now, some would argue that a 47-77 overall record after four seasons, a 5-13 mark in the Big East and a 14th-place finish in the 16-team league would be sufficient cause to fire a coach, but wait, there’s more. For a coach with such a tenuous grip on his position, Hill hasn’t exactly been conducting himself with the sort of restraint and class that would convince the university to give him another season on the sidelines. Instead, he was spotted engaging in a profanity-laced shouting match with Pittsburgh's baseball coach while attending a game on the Rutgers campus last week. Hill, whose father, Fred Hill Sr., is Rutgers' baseball coach, got into a screaming match with Pitt coach Joe Jordano and afterward was asked to issue a public apology. He has refused to do so and appears to have done enough to change Pernetti’s mind after the AD stated on March 17 that Hill would be back next season. "Fred Hill is under contract as our men's basketball head coach," Pernetti said then. "We had a productive meeting and look forward to working together to build the program.” That doesn’t appear to be Pernetti’s stance at this point, so look for the two sides to part ways as soon as possible…………