- Friday was a very, very scary day for us, world. Any day Iranian dictator gets in front of a raucous home crowd and announces this his country has advanced its nuclear technology, unveils new, faster centrifuges and celebrates "giant steps" forward is a dark day for the rest of the globe. In fact, Ahmadinejad was so jubilant that he proclaimed Friday to be National Nuclear Day. In a speech celebrating the occasion, Ahmadinejad denounced "selfish behavior" by "arrogant" countries that have tried to bring a halt to Iran's nuclear activity. His crowd of sycophants chanted "God is great" and "Death to America" as he spoke, making the scene all the more unnerving. "Today, Iranian scientists and experts have fully mastered the nuclear and have been taking giant steps and moving at full pace towards meeting all domestic needs and making proper use of home-grown potential in the field of nuclear energy," Ahmadinejad said. He went on to revel a "third generation" of centrifuges six times faster than the ones currently being used. Oh, and he continued to lie by insisting that Iran’s nuclear efforts are purely for energy purposes, claimed that he had been open to a deal and blamed other countries for it falling apart. The only energy he’s interested in is the energy to eviscerate Israel from the map, by the way. As for the new nuclear deal between the United States and Russia this week and President Barack Obama’s declaration of the cessation of nuclear proliferation by the U.S., let’s just say dictator Ahmadinejad isn’t impressed. He mocked those announcements as "a show performed by the United States" and "a great lie." U.S. Secretary of State Hank Clinton fired back by pimping the treat with Russia, which would reduce the number of strategic nuclear warheads to 1,550 on each side, as an important step forward. She then reinforced the idea that other nations need to get on board with "serious sanctions" against Iran. "There are times when people of good will and great intellect have diverging views on how to deal with complex issues, but I don't think this is one of those times," Hank said. "The only way we think we are going to convince the Iranians to give up nuclear weapons is if they conclude they will be less safe with them than without them and that their economy and their society will suffer sufficiently that the tradeoff is no longer worth it to them. We've always said all options are on the table, but clearly our preference is to create conditions that would lead to changes in the policy of the Iranian government toward the pursuit of nuclear weapons which, by the way, is their stated policy." For once, I agree with Hank. Iran is up to no good and no amount of denials is going to convince anyone otherwise…………
- Any “Jersey Shore”-related news brightens my day. No, I don’t watch the show, but I don’t need to in order to enjoy its absurdity. The fist-pumping, GTL-living, stereotype-reinforcing tools who comprise the show’s case are always good for a laugh, even if it’s merely reading their latest exploits as they continue under the misguided impression that they are actual celebrities and capable of contributing something of real worth to the world. The big news for Season 2 - aside from open casting for the possibility of adding new members to the crew - was that the show would shoot in Miami Beach. That was true, just not completely true. While the show did shoot in sunny south Florida for a few episodes, the bulk of the season will take place in the same location at the first season: Seaside Heights, New Jersey (cue the residents of Seaside Heights groaning in despair). All eight cast members will be back for the new season and according to one MTV executive, good times are ahead for the fist-pumpers. "It's like a big family reunion after all this time," said Tony DiSanto, MTV's president of programming in an MTV interview. "We couldn't be more excited that the whole group is back together in Miami and that they'll be going back to Jersey when the sun heats up." Season 2 of “Jersey Shore” kicks off on Thursday, July 29 at 10 p.m. In between now and then, fans can do their best to interject themselves into the mix with Ronnie, the Situation, Snooki and the rest of these ass hats by heading over to jerseyshorecasting.com and answering questions about how they could better the show, how they dominated the gym and the streets and then finish out the process by sending in an audition video. And yes, the world is that much dumber and more ridiculous a place just by virtue of this paragraph being written………
- Score another one for the non-smokers. Slowly but surely, the losers in our society that we call smokers are being boxed out, hemmed in and pushed into a tight corner. No one who isn’t addicted to cancer sticks wants any part of them and the U.S. Navy is supporting that fact by announcing that smoking will no longer be permitted below decks on its submarines effective December 31. "This policy was initiated for the health of the sailors who choose not to smoke," said Lt. Commander Mark Jones, spokesman for the Commander Naval Submarine Forces in Norfolk, Virginia. "It is unfair for them to be exposed to the unhealthy side effects of secondhand smoke." Boo-yah! Well said, Cmdr. Jones, well said. These brave men and women are already putting their lives on the line to protect our nation and they don’t need additional danger in the form of losers who feel that their day just isn’t complete without drastically upping their chances and the chances of those around them to develop lung cancer. The Navy drew up the new policy after the submarine force conducted a study in 2009 on nine different submarines covering the four different classes of subs. Believe it or not, the study found nonsmokers were being exposed to the effects of secondhand smoke. Shocker, I know. With 71 submarines in the U.S. Navy and about 13,000 sailors on submarine active duty, smoking is clearly a major issue. With recent polling indicating that 35 to 40 percent of those sailors are smokers, there will likely be complaints. To that, the response is simple TDB (too damn bad). Get over it. So the Navy is ripping your chance to give yourself and your fellow sailors lung cancer, emphysema and other illnesses and preventing your faces from turning into leather, green catcher’s masks stapled to your shoulders. Big freaking deal, losers. If you have an issue with this decision, you could always take advantage of the aggressive smoking cessation programs offered by the Navy or pick up on some nicotine replacement therapy widely available on the submarines, such as Nicorette gum and nicotine patches. "We're going to work as hard as we can to make this an easy transition," said Jones. Previously, smoking was confined to a few select areas on the submarine. Now, there will be nowhere for loser smokers to indulge in their filthy habit and for that, our military will be much better off…………
- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Everyone’s favorite overview of social dissidence ‘round the world has been anchored in Thailand this week and our story took a dangerous turn today when eight people were killed Saturday in clashes between anti-government protesters and Thai police and military. Nearly 500 people were injured as well, making it by far the most violent day of the struggle to date. Seeking to show the toll the struggle is taking on them, anti-government protesters displayed the bodies of two of the dead protesters Saturday. Thai security forces went with typical tactics of The Man in seeking to put down a riot, namely firing tear gas and water cannons at rioters attempting to break into military barracks in the heart of Bangkok. The Red Shirts, who are leading the revolt, are becoming ballsier by the day and I could not be more impressed with them at this point. They have selected the headquarters of the army command as a protest site, sticking it right in the governments’ face. For weeks and weeks these brave dissidents have been rallying behind their cause, demanding new elections to replace what they believe is a fraudulent government. On Friday, they stormed the compound of a satellite broadcast center that puts out the signal for their television station, which was shuttered by the government for “broadcasting misinformation,” i.e. telling the truth. The maneuver was enough to convince police to restore the station on condition that protesters vacate the compound. However, it was clearly a sham as once the Red Shirts retreated, 4,000 soldiers seized the satellite company and took the station, People Channel, or PTV, off air. So you can’t really blame protestors for firing back after being brazenly lied to, no sir. Arrest warrants are being issued, tear gas is wafting through the streets and the smell of a revolution is in the air. Even with rubber bullets flying and water cannons taking aim, the Red Shirts are not backing down and not relenting in their quest to give Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva the boot. Bangkok and the surrounding region remain under a state of emergency due to the revolt and hopefully that will continue until change takes place. The people will not be silenced, Abhisit, and they will not go quietly into this good night………
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