Crocs love water aerobics, American too FAT for military service and the newest look for the $100 bill

- Who knew that crocodiles were such big fans of water aerobics? If you had asked me prior to today what the preferred workout was for a croc, I would have guessed Pilates…..and I would have been dead wrong. I say this in light of a 5-foot-long crocodile crashing the biweekly water aerobics class at Howard Springs Holiday Park on the outskirts of the tropical northern city of Darwin. Class was postponed after the croc hit the pool, which I’m sure made him feel very good about himself. Nothing like everyone bailing once you get in the pool to boost one’s self-esteem. Workers found the animal when they went to the pool to scoop out leaves and prepare it for the class. "We went down like normal to check the pool out because Tuesdays and Thursdays the local ladies of Howard Springs do their water aerobics," park manager Geoff Thompson explained. A government ranger was called in to remove the crocodile, which has to mean that the park has clearly posted “No crocodiles” allowed signs somewhere on the premises because otherwise, what ride do they have to evict the animal? And in hindsight, the animal was identified as a freshwater crocodile — capable of giving a nasty bite but rarely fatal to humans. "They were all there waiting for the ranger to collect it and once he got it out of the water they started their aerobics," Thompson said. From there, the crocodile was turned over to a local wildlife park. Aside from crocs’ abiding love of water aerobics, the incident isn’t all that surprising, given that crocodile hunting was banned in 1971 after excessive hunting pushed the creatures to the brink of extinction. As the croc population has grown, attacks on humans have increased, with four people killed by crocodiles in seven months from 2008 to early 2009. Maybe if people would just allow them to join the local water aerobics class, this entire mess could be avoided…………

- Walking away from any sport when you’re at your peak is difficult to do and rarely accomplished. The best athletes are inevitably the most competitive and walking away at your apex is frowned upon because if you’re the best, you feel like you can keep it going for a while longer. Elite athletes are often the last to know when they’ve lost it and by the time they realize it, it’s far too late for them to have any hope of leaving on top. Golfer Lorena Ochoa is bucking that trend and retiring, exiting women’s golf as the top player in the world, just as Annika Sorenstam did two years ago. What makes the hit worse for the LPGA is that Ochoa is also one of the game’s top ambassadors and is such a good person that during LPGA Tour events, she would often the maintenance shed and hang out with the workers, many of them from her native Mexico. She also walks away as one of the most popular athletes in Mexico and her reasoning is simple: she wants to start a family after getting married last year. She plans to discuss her retirement further at a news conference Friday in Mexico City, so we will learn more about the decision then. "Lorena Ochoa confirms her retirement from the LPGA, as news reports in some media have said today," her statement said. "The reasons and more details on the matter will be given by Lorena personally in a press conference on Friday in Mexico City. Lorena will share this news of a new stage in her life with her sponsors, family members and friends." Not only does she retire as the No. 1 player in the world, she has been No. 1 in the world the last three years and won 27 times over the last six. Ochoa has not sais whether she will play any more events before leaving the game or if her retirement is effective immediately. One thing to be sure of is that she won't see any drop-off in quality of life now that she is no longer earning a living playing golf. In December, she wed Andres Conesa, the chief executive of Aeromexico airline, meaning she should be pretty well-off financially. There is already speculation that Ochoa could eventually return to golf, as golfers can play and excel well past the age when athletes in other sports - football, basketball, etc. - can do so. Whether she comes back or not, it’s sad to see a classy, dignified and great athlete leave their sport and if anyone cared about women’s golf at all, the reaction to this decision would be much more pronounced than it has been…………

- How is this for a hint that you are too FAT, America? According to a study completed by a group of retired armed forces leaders, more than a quarter of young adults are unable to meet physical requirements to join the military. Now, I won't go as far as this group in deeming America’s FAT-ness a national security threat, but it does back up what I’ve been shouting for a long time, namely that Americans need to put down the fast food, stop spending their free time doing buffet crawls alternated with stints on the couch vegging out. But this is just one more piece of ammo for all of the other U.S.-hating nations out there who mock us because of our excess and opulence. "It's not drug abuse, it's not asthma, it's not flat feet -- by far the leading medical reason is being overweight or obese," said retired U.S. Air Force Lt. Gen. Norman Seip at a news conference of the reason most young Americans are unfit for military service. To be fair, I am in great shape and would never, ever serve in the military in any capacity, so perhaps I am not the best person comment on all of this, but I do hate obesity and I think that balances things out. The group that conducted the research, known as Mission: Readiness, found that about 27 percent of young adults are medically ineligible for the military. Mission: Readiness' report, "Too Fat to Fight," (by the way, LOVE the name) also found that 75 percent of young Americans between the ages of 17 to 24 do not qualify for the military because of failure to graduate [from high school], criminal records or physical problems. Not that I need to be convinced that the claims in this report are true (I live in the U.S. and I have both a working set of eyes and an IQ over 50, so I can surmise as much), but the study relied heavily on Department of Defense and health data. Although all branches of the military have their own standards for health and fitness, each of them measures strength, body fat, aerobic capacity, weight and height. A person must pass the physical fitness standards at the time he or she signs up for enlistment, standards that include sit-ups and push-ups. "The logic is pretty obvious," said retired Army Brig. Gen. Clara Adams-Ender. "The troops need to be in excellent physical condition because of the demands of the important jobs they do in defense. Rigorous physical and mental standards are critical if we are to maintain the fighting readiness of our military." Well said, General. What’s amazing is how lax some of the standards are that this massive percentage of Americans cannot meet. For instance, the Army allows women up to the weight of 241 pounds and men up to 259 pounds and factoring in age, it allows women with no prior service to have up to 36 percent body fat content and men with no prior service to have up to 30 percent. That is a ridiculous amount of body fat for anyone to have, yet this huge chunk of people can't meet these standards? That bar is set so low that you could literally step over it……if these flabby losers could lift their leg more than one inch off the ground without passing out from over-exertion. I would say it’s a scathing commentary on the pitiful level of fitness in this country but at this point, I don’t know that any more needs to be said…………

- The screaming teenage girls may be (mostly) gone, but that doesn’t mean former teenie bopper pop stars Hanson is dead and done as a band. The band has actually changed quite a bit since its long-haiared “Mmm Bop” days and dealt with much more serious subject matter on 2007's "The Walk" and "challenging" recording sessions for that album and 2004's "Underneath." With that in mind, the brothers say they wanted a lighter, less serious vibe on the new album, "Shout It Out," which releases June 8.

"We wanted to make an upbeat record," oldest brother Isaac Hanson said in a recent interview. "I think we were just ready to move forward with a really upbeat kind of attitude -- this is probably the most upbeat record we've done, period. I think we're saying that you can have a heart and compassion for others and do good things in your life, and at the same time dance in the street."
The album, which consists of 12 tracks headed up by the lead-off single "Thinkin' 'Bout Somethin'," are heavily accented by horn charts by Jerry Hey (Michael Jackson, Earth, Wind & Fire), while one of Motown's Funk Brothers. All three brothers - Isaac, Taylor and Zac all teamed up to produce the album, which was recorded and produced in El Paso, Texas, Tulsa, Okla., and Los Angeles.
To promote the album, Hanson will appear on CBS' "The Late Show with David Letterman" and April 26 on NBC's "Today" show, followed by a series of nine performances on the Bamboozle Road Show in May. Then there is the five-show run at New York's Gramercy Theatre from April 26-30, each of which will feature a different one of Hanson's last five albums played from start to finish.
Even if you are not a big fan of the band, that’s still a very cool concept and one I’d like to see bands I am a fan of embrace. How cool would it be to see, say, Jimmy Eat World do a series of shows playing each of its album start to finish? If you are a Hanson fan, this sounds like a pretty interesting album and one you will want to own as well as hear live……….

- And the battle continues. In the war of counterfeiters v. the government, the Treasury Department is striking the latest blow by unveiling a new $100 bill today. Giving Benjamin Franklin a makeover doesn’t happen often, as this is the first remake of the denomination since 1996. The feds did it up right for the event, holding a 10:30 a.m. ceremony at the Department of the Treasury's Cash Room (a.k.a. Jay-Z’s living room) to unveil the new design. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke were both on hand to mark the occasion. "The $100 note is the highest value denomination of U.S. currency in general circulation, and it circulates broadly around the world," a statement from the Bureau of Engraving and Printing stated. While I can't remember the last time I rolled with a Ben Franklin in my pocket, I’m told that the denomination is popular with people who need to carry large amounts internationally. Also, $100 bills are popular with wealth rappers who like to throw wads of cash at the camera in their music videos and with cokeheads who like to roll them up and snort blow with them off of mirror in bathrooms at chic parties. Obviously, making the bills more difficult to counterfeit is the primary reason for the makeover because clearly, having cashiers swipe the bill with those smelly brown markers and hold them up to the light isn’t bad enough. The last remake of the $100 bill in 1996 kicked off a wave of revisions that included a new $20 bill in 2003, a $50 bill in 2004, a redesigned $10 bill in 2006 and finally, a redone $5 bill in 2008. Additions to the bills have included watermarks and an embedded security thread to ferret out bogus bills and for the most part, the measures seem to have been reasonably effective. However, that hasn’t stopped crotchety old people from tersely referring to the new bills as “Monopoly money” and pining for a time when all bills looked the same and the buffalo nickel was still accepted currency…………