Ruminations on Ron Washington: coke head, Apple v. Opera rages on and the cancellation of a potential musical disaster

- I’ve been allowing this Ron Washington story to marinate in my mind for a couple of days now, thinking perhaps with a little perspective it would start to make more sense and perhaps become a bit less surreal. Nope. A 57-year-old Major League Baseball manager being a coke head is still as bizarre as it was when I first heard the news Wednesday. For those who don’t know, Washington, manager of the Texas Rangers, apologized Wednesday for using cocaine during the 2009 season. He reportedly took a drug test and before the results came back, when to team officials to admit that he already knew what the test would say: that he had been sampling the Colombian nose candy. Washington told the club he used cocaine and offered to resign as soon as he was randomly selected for a drug test by MLB. For whatever reason, club president Nolan Ryan, general manager Jon Daniels and other officials decided not to accept the offer. Washington was able to sell them the lie that he used coke just once, which means that he snorted blow one time and coincidentally it happened to be just before a random drug test? Unluckiest guy ever, right? Either that or he has used frequently in the past and just happened to get caught this time. "I apologize for a huge mistake I made," Washington said in a prepared statement at a news conference Wednesday. "I'm not here to make excuses. I'm not here for sympathy. That would be asking too much. I'm truly sorry for my careless, dangerous and, frankly, stupid behavior last year." As part of his punishment, Washington immediately entered into the MLB's drug program, which included testing three times a week. He has since completed the program but will voluntarily submit to additional testing by Major League Baseball in the future. Ryan said the club debated accepting Washington's resignation but after "a lot of soul-searching" decided keep him as manager. So taking all of this in, the prevailing thought in my mind is how a guy old enough to be most people’s grandfather and charged with overseeing a roster of millionaire athletes for a business (MLB) that brings in billions of dollars a year, gets caught with the sticky icky. Even by the most liberal of definitions, 57 is too old to still be in your wild period. On top of that, Washington is married and has kids, so it’s not like he’s some loose cannon with no one to care for and answer to in his personal life. I want to know where he was dabbling in the Bolivian marching powder. Was it in his office? In the car before he entered the stadium? Oh, and given the fact that Washington manages MLB’s most famous recovering drug/alcohol addict, outfielder Josh Hamilton, how exactly did he feel about indulging in his drug habit while supposedly being a leader and mentor for Hamilton? Hearing Washington insist he used the drug that "one and only time" and has had clean tests since that point is freaking hilarious as well. Maybe he hasn’t used coke since the positive test, but don’t tell me that he didn’t use the drug before then…………

- A bit of a counter-culture hero is still on the loose in Washington state and authorities are stepping up their search for the fugitive known as the "barefoot burglar." Using helicopters and search dogs, police scoured an island off Washington state Thursday, searching for Colton Harris-Moore. Moore is suspected of stealing airplanes and has at least five local and federal agencies on his tail. The search moved to Orcas Island on Thursday, specifically a very isolated and very rugged area on the west side of the island where only a few homes are located," according to a statement from San Juan County Sheriff Bill Cumming. The FBI also joined in the search for Moore, although none of the involved agencies said what evidence led them to search the area. Regardless, Moore has become something of a cult hero ever since a string of alleged plane thefts that began in 2008. A December issue of Time magazine marked him as "America's Most Wanted Teenage Bandit." He’s inspired several Facebook fan pages, a few of which have garnered thousands of fans. Because of that, he’s become a major thorn in the side of local law enforcement. Being outsmarted by a teenager for months on end is a tad embarrassing, to say the least. He earned the nickname the "barefoot burglar" for allegedly breaking into vacation homes along the Washington coast without wearing any shoes and was first arrested at 12 on burglary charges. Now, investigators believe Moore may be responsible for at least four planes stolen or crashed in Washington state in the past few weeks, all of which involved an inexperienced pilot who may have walked away from the rough landings by sheer good fortune. Moore has not been charged in any of the plane thefts, but Cumming points to him as the prime suspect. "We will continue to investigate and search for him in relation to the plane thefts," Cumming said. One of the plane thefts Moore is being sought for questioning in took place last month when a plane skirted airspace closed for the Vancouver Winter Olympics. That plane landed on Orcas Island, south of the U.S.-Canadian border. Not long after the abandoned plane was found, authorities also discovered that a local market had been burglarizedand the thief left a calling card: outlines of feet drawn on the floor. "His fans say he's sticking it to the man," said Kyle Ater, owner of Orcas Homegrown Market. "But I am a small independent grocery store owner, I am not Wal-Mart.” Don’t take it personally, K. He wasn’t looking to hurt you and I’m guessing your insurance will compensate you for what you lost in the theft. Don’t lose sight of the bigger picture: Stickin’ it to The Man. It’s a higher calling we should all aspire to while saluting those who dare to pursue it……….

- The showdown between Apple and the company behind the Web browser Opera is nearing a crescendo, with the makers of Opera claiming that they are mere weeks away from submitting it to Apple's iPhone store for approval. Perhaps Apple is slow to give the green light to Opera because it would reflect negatively on its own default browser for the iPhone, Safari. However, Apple does include Opera among the apps on its computers, so I can’t see where it should be a major issue. The makers of Opera claim it would be a browser up to six times faster than Safari. Opera made a major stink last month at the Mobile World Conference about Apple’s reluctance to give it a thumbs-up. There is still serious doubt as to whether the approval will be granted because Apple would basically be creating competition for its own product. Opera spokesman Thomas Ford demonstrated the Opera Mini app being developed for the iPhone at the South By Southwest Interactive festival in Austin. "I can't positively say the time frame, but I can say it's very soon," Ford said of the app’s impending submission to Apple. Opera is already available on BlackBerry, Windows Mobile and Android platforms and Opera Mini is popular on non-smartphone mobile phones, so adding the iPhone would be putting the last major piece of the puzzle into place in some sense. According to its makers, Opera has more than 50 million monthly users worldwide. You just know it’s killing them that Apple is throwing up a wall around its user base and keeping Opera from reaching them and further expanding its market share. "This is a very, very complete beta," he said. "We were definitely ready to show it to people. We wanted people to see what it would do." Should Apple elect to turn down Opera, it would likely cite its previously stated mandate that apps aren't accepted if they duplicate a function the iPhone already does. Opera’s counter is that Mini and Safari are different because Opera Mini is quicker at downloading regular Internet pages while Safari's design is better suited for more data-intensive functions. To me, that argument fails Apple’s test (without saying if the test itself is right or not) because Opera is arguing that its app is better, not different in its core nature. "I wouldn't say we're trying to back Apple into a corner," Ford said. "We feel that we're very much following their rules." Call it what you will, but this should be a fun battle to watch for tech dorks in the days ahead…………

- Now this is a plan I am all for. Officials in Argentina's Mendoza province have authorized chemical castration for rapists, which officially makes this the best piece of rape-related news ever. Pretty much everything else about rape is the most heinous and vile stuff possible - outside of also killing a person - and thus it’s a topic that is equal parts disgusting, anger-inducing and heartbreaking. However, deciding to castrate any piece of crap who rapes another person is a hugely intelligent decision all the way around. The change comes after a significant increase in sexual assaults last year in the province, after which Mendoza authorities convened a scientific legal committee and authorized the voluntary chemical castration by decree. "By using medication that lowers the person's sexual desire and with psychological treatment, the person can be reintroduced into society without being a threat," Mendoza Governor Celso Jaque said. Already, 11 convicted rapists in the province have agreed to the treatment in return for reduced sentences. Make no mistake about it, these animals are still every bit as vile and revolting as ever, but at least now they have been reined in somewhat. What I don’t like is the members of the legal committee who argued the treatment must be voluntary or it would violate international law and Argentina's constitution. I’m sorry, but raping another person is effectively saying that you don’t subscribe to the fundamental principles and beliefs as set forth by your constitution, so why should a person be afforded protection under those same principles? Screw the rapists; they forfeited their rights to working genitalia when they committed forceable sexual assault. Unlike actual, physical castration (which I would also support for rapists), chemical castration involves medication, not surgical intervention. On the flip side, its effectiveness also stops when treatment is discontinued. As such, I’d go with traditional castration for rapists, but maybe that’s just my sadistic side coming out. Either way, the practice in Mendoza mirrors measures adopted in eight U.S. states: California, Florida, Georgia, Montana, Oregon, Wisconsin, Louisiana and Iowa. Other Argentinean provinces could follow suit if Mendoza’s program is successful. Here’s hoping…………

- When I heard that a Hawaiian concert promoter canceled Filipino boxer Manny Pacquiao's upcoming concert Sunday in Waikiki due to almost non-existent ticket sales, I had one thought: I wonder only 603 tickets were sold because if it’s because everyone has seen this? If for some reason that link didn’t work for you, allow me to explain it briefly. It is footage of Pacquiao appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live and absolutely butchering the song “Candle in the Wind.” Take the worst karaoke version of that song you’ve ever heard and quadruple it - that won't even approach this turd in the punch bowl of musical skill. I understand that back in his homeland, Pacquiao is something of a singer, but whatever makes people like his musical styling’s there clearly does not translate from Filipino to English. If it did, promoter Ryan Chang of Island Fire Productions would not have canceled the planned concert because he stood to lose about $50,000 on the event, even with late sales and walk-ups. I think both Chang and Pacquiao didn’t quite grasp the fact that 45,000 people showing up to watch Pacquiao retain his welterweight title against Joshua Clottey in a bout at the new Cowboys Stadium in Dallas has nothing to do with people wanting to assault their own ear drums by showing up to listen to the equivalent of someone strangling a cat or attempting to yodel while drowning. So for all 603 people who had tickets to the show at the Waikiki Shell…….here’s hoping you don’t get a refund because quite simply, you don’t deserve one. If you bought a ticket for that farce, you deserve to lose your money. Here’s hoping that was the first and last "Manny Pacquiao Live In Hawaii Concert Celebration" that is ever planned…………