Pacman's possible NFL return, a "Greek" recap and the danger of having a psychic business manager

- Greek is rapidly approaching its season finale, which is a bummer because this has been another super-fun season of the show. On this week’s episode, Rusty finally brings Dana to the Kappa Tau house as his girlfriend and she gets the, um, privilege of meeting the ever-eclectic KT brothers. When the topic of their top-secret plan for revenge on Omega Chi comes up, Cappie stonewalls and says it’s classified info. Over at Zeta Beta Zeta, disappointing news comes in as it’s announced that Greek Week has been canceled, with the university citing a lack of funds. But in spite of the bad news, life goes on. Ashleigh suggests to Casey that as big sister to Rebecca Logan and also a soon-to-graduate senior, this might be one of her last chances to be there for her little sis after a tumultuous breakup with Evan Chambers. After trying to be supportive for Rebecca and getting blown off, Casey heads off on a mission. She goes to see Pan-Hellenic president and Gamma Psi member Katherine in the hopes of reviving Greek Week. On the way into Katherine’s dorm room, Casey encounters Gamma Psi president/pixie Natalie, who taunts her and all but admits to pushing through the idea to cancel Greek Week in order to prevent ZBZ from having a chance to win more blue-ribbon points and overtake Gamma Psi as the top sorority on campus. Surprisingly, Katherine is okay with trying to revive Greek Week even though it could cost her house its spot as the top one on campus. She only wants fairly won victories and is about to graduate, so what the heck, she figures. She then suggests that Casey petition the Pan-Hellenic president - her - to revive Greek Week by adding a component for the ladies in the form of a beauty pageant that was discontinued as a part of the week back in the 1950s. Casey makes the proposal, it works and the beauty pageant revives Greek Week, albeit a beauty pageant stripped of its swimsuit portion and focused on promoting the qualities of strong, independent women. Later on, Casey meets Rusty for a brother-sister coffee and they have a chance encounter with Evan, who tells Casey he’s sorry for punching Rusty at Dobler’s in the last episode. She counters that he should apologize to Rusty, not her. Evan reluctantly complies but Rusty is still bitter about Evan being responsible for the expulsion of three KT brother last semester and won't accept the apology. A scorned Evan retaliates by stirring up trouble when he talks about the Greek Week golf tournament in which he plans to defeat Cappie and using the opportunity to gloat about how he and Cappie called a truce last semester, knowing full well Rusty had no idea that the truce had happened. Rusty takes off to find Cappie, who is having Carl Spackler (Caddyshack) moment on campus, teeing off from some shrubbery in the middle of the campus’ main walkway. Cappie admits to the truth, but before he can explain further, a black SUV pulls up and five guys in masks of former U.S. presidents jump out, pull bags over their heads and drive away with Rusty and Cappie as prisoners. Meanwhile, the ZBZ’s meet to decide their candidate for the Greek Week Goddess pageant and Casey is selected, much to Rebecca’s chagrin. We also find out that Dale is making use of his position as ZBZ hasher to have a secret relationship with ZBZ sister Laura…..interesting. Rusty and Cappie’s saga continues as they find themselves tied up inside a rickety old shack in the woods, apparently kidnapped by the OC’s on the eve of their big golf match. Around the same time, Dale pays a visit to Calvin, the show’s resident gay guy, to ask for help with a problem. Calvin is debating the merits of an all-gay spring break cruise with boyfriend Grant, with Calvin preferring a more traditional spring break with their Omega Chi brothers. Dale asks Calvin to meet with a teen from his church who thinks he may be gay and Calvin agrees to help. Over at the KT house, Dana shows up looking for Rusty and points out to the brothers who are there that both Rusty and Cappie not having been heard from in several hours might mean something has happened to them. They spring into action, trying to figure out how to find their missing brothers. As for the beauty pageant, Gamma Psi brings in a ringer - a transfer student from UCLA who also happens to be a Venezuelan beauty - named

Iliana Hernandez. Natalie tries to intimidate Casey using her new weapon and succeeds to some extent. Back at the shed in the woods, Rusty manages to free himself and in turn frees Cappie. However, they are still at odds and as they flee and look to get back to campus, they split up because both believe they know the right route to take. The KT pledges then show up at the shed, looking for Cappie and Rusty. Seems it was the pledges - spurred on by Rusty’s challenge to make their mark - that kidnapped Rusty and Cappie. Cappie ends up running into Casey as she drives by him on his walk home and they soon track down Rusty and rush to the golf course to play the match against Omega Chi. Unfortunately, they arrive too late for the golf tournament and KT is disqualified. Making matters worse, Cappie realizes it was his own pledges who kidnapped him - whoops. Life is no better at ZBZ, where Casey has sister Beth pick up her pageant gown from the dress shop and finds out that Natalie has sabotaged her again, having far too much material cut off from the dress and making it too short to wear. Rebecca offers to step in and represent ZBZ in the pageant and Casey finally relents. The pageant turns ugly when OC brother Trip and another Omega Chi heckle Rebecca, calling her a slut as she walks down the catwalk. Evan steps in and tells them to shut up, but that doesn’t stop Cappie and Rusty from confronting Evan and his brothers afterward and Evan actually back down from Rusty. After he leaves, The pageant continues and Cappie admits he has no revenge plan for Evan because he wanted it to be perfect and won't settle for good. Rusty tells him to stop trying being hero, and start being his friend. Backstage, Casey goes to console Rebecca after the heckling and actually managers to be a good support for a girl she has had her share of problems with. Rebecca admits that she does care what people think of her, but Casey’s encouragement is enough to convince her to finish out the pageant. The pageant continues and Rebecca gives an inspired speech for question-an-answer part of the pageant, which makes her the surprise winner. After the pageant, Rusty and Cappie challenge Omega Chi to a makeup golf event - a night golf competition right away. If the KT’s win, they get full use of the Omega Chi house for 24 hours for a blowout party. If the OC’s win, they get KT brother Pickle’s uncle’s Myrtle Beach beach house for spring break. The OC’s take the deal and Evan suggests a one-shot, closest-to-the-pin challenge. Cappie accepts but after Evan puts his shot within two feet of the hole, Cappie surprisingly steps aside and allows Rusty to take the shot for KT. Rusty whiffs and only hits his ball a few feet off the tee, handing the win to Omega Chi. The next day, Calvin and Grant have another argument over the gay cruise and Calvin realizes they both want different things from their relationship. Grant really wants to be single and so they break up, albeit on amicable terms. That poses a problem because Calvin then goes to meet Dale and Adam for coffee again. Dale doesn’t want Adam to hear about the breakup, but Calvin tells him anyhow and explains that gay or straight, relationships are difficult. In the aftermath of their loss to the OC’s in night golf, Rusty and Cappie gather the KT brothers in their common room and explain that they actually lost the challenge on purpose. It’s part of their revenge plan against Omega Chi and they will use the beach house as part of their plot. Cappie then reveals he has appointed Rusty as the official revenge chair and Rusty unveils his plan for “Mission Possible” in Myrtle Beach. Over at ZBZ, the seniors gather house together to give their traditional Greek Week gift. The gift is that they are No. 1 house on campus again and they pass out t-shirts to celebrate. Off to the side, Dale pulls Laura aside and he Dale wants to take relationship public. Laura says no, so he outs her with public announcement to the entire house. The episode wraps up on that note, with the season finale approaching quickly, so stay tuned for that…………

- There are so many issues for Americans to oppose and protest against at the moment, we almost need to post a sign-up sheet at the Washington, D.C. city limits for the right to line up and protest. Supporters on both sides of the health-care debate have been angrily raging against the machine for the past few days in our nation’s capital, but they now have company in the form of those speaking out against a proposed new immigration bill and anti-war protestors still angry about the war in Iraq that remains the fault of the worst president in U.S. history, W. On Saturday, hundreds of anti-war protesters gathered across from the White House and chanted, "We are the change." The protest marked seventh anniversary of the war in Iraq (time flies when you’re fighting an illegitimate war that costs hundreds of American soldiers their lives in a place they never should have been, no?). The event was marked by more than a dozen speakers, including politician Ralph Nader and anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan. After the speakers said their peace, the assembled protestors marched through Washington. They added a nice touch by dropping off symbolic coffins draped with international flags to the offices of Halliburton, the energy services company once run by former Vice President Dick Cheney - the man who enjoys blasting friends in the face with shotgun shells on hunting trips - and the White House. Dropping off the coffins at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue led to the arrest of five people by D.C. police, although I doubt they minded spending a little time in the clink for their cause. Prior to the march, Sheehan unleashed some of the best (i.e. most insane and irrational) rhetoric of the entire event, asking the crowd, “Is the honeymoon over with that war criminal in the Oval Office? Why are we giving him a free pass when he didn't deserve it?" In case you don’t remember her, Sheehan is the woman who seized her 15 minutes of fame by protesting outside of W.'s Texas ranch after her son was killed in Iraq. Since August 2005, she has become quite possibly the angriest among American anti-war voices. She’s currently camping out on the grounds of the Washington Monument in an effort to draw attention to her cause. Spotted in the crowd at Saturday’s protest were signs reading "Indict Bush now" (thumbs up for that!) and "We need jobs and schools not war." And in a sight that is sure to ruffle plenty of feathers, a disgruntled Iraq war veteran burned a small American flag on stage while shouting "this is not my country." Nader wasn’t quite able to match Sheehan’s outrage, although he did chip in with a nice blast about Bush and Cheney being "fugitives from justice." I do agree with him that military action in Iraq is creating a new generation of enemies against the United States, although a lot of those who are angriest about the war are right here in America. Yes siree, quite a week for protests in the nation’s capital and regardless of my position on these issues, seeing such rampant social dissidence makes me very happy…………

- And so we go from news that is extremely relevant to everyone in this country to news that has no relevance to anyone at all. The vapid space cadet/skank known as Heidi Montag clearly has as loose a grasp on her lame-tacular career as she has on concepts like reality, intelligence and good music. When she’s not making moronic statements, co-authoring books no one wants to read with her tool of a husband or putting out what could be the world’s worst album ever, Montag is vacillating back and forth between business managers more frequently than she hits up the plastic surgeon’s office for her next cosmetic fix. Just a week ago, she showed off her flaky nature by hiring Malibu psychic Aiden Chase to replace husband Spencer Pratt as her business manger. After a week of that ill-fated experiment, Montag has decided she'll go it alone. "I have decided to part ways with Mr. Chase both as a manager and as a psychic and will scrutinize my business decisions more carefully in the future," Montag, said. "I will now be managing my own career as a strong and independent woman." Oh boy. Never has hiring a Malibu psychic as your business manager seemed like a great idea by comparison as much as it does when stacked up against the prospect of Montag steering her own career. As long as by “strong and independent” she means “IQ-deprived, shallow, stupid and clueless, then I agree completely with her. What I don’t understand is how the partnership with Chase, whom Montag worked with as her "intuitive healer" for a month after her 10 plastic surgeries in one day, didn’t work out. But being a psychic, he had to have seen it coming. Of course, having a psychic manage your career is also a sizeable upgrade over having in managed by that ass hat Pratt, who has as much business training as the piece of dog crap I passed today while running down my road (and the dog turd is infinitely more likeable than Pratt, ironically). "Unfortunately recent behavior by Mr. Chase on set of both 'Just Go With It' starring Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman and [on] 'The Hills' have made me question this decision," Montag said. Wait, you hired a celebrity psychic and you’re suddenly questioning the decision? What gives? Montag is apparently upset that Chase (allegedly) attempted to poach Audrina Patridge as a client."Heidi invited me to the set of 'Just Go With It' and the terms of our financial agreement are in line with standard manager/talent agreements," he said. "I spoke with Audrina Patridge briefly when I was on the set of 'The Hills' with Heidi recently, but never discussed being her manager." As always, I remind America that this is what happens when you take people who have no business being on television or anywhere else that the general public will be exposed to them and you give them a platform. They morph into people with vastly over-inflated senses of self-worth and they start to believe that they are actually important. In other words, you all have no one to blame but yourselves…………

- The San Francisco 49ers have been busy the past few days and I’m not sure that busyness is going to translate into anything positive for the franchise. First, the team jettisoned general manager Scot McCloughan just five weeks before the NFL draft. Firing your GM just over a month from the draft, a time when he should be coordinating the team’s draft strategy and helping to decide which players the team will select at the draft, is a dubious choice. Perhaps the team has a replacement in mind and maybe they will get back on course quickly and have a successful draft, but it’s a definite risk. But it is not nearly as big a risk as the team is considering in working out and possibly signing noted thug and occasional NFL defensive back Adam "Pacman" Jones. Jones, who worked out for the Cincinnati Bengals on Feb. 11 but has not played a down in the NFL since the Dallas Cowboys released him in February 2009, has been arrested or wanted for questioning by police dozens of times dating back to his college career at West Virginia and was suspended for the entire 2007 season for multiple violations of the conduct policy while he was a member of the Tennessee Titans. Jones used that time to entertain his aspirations of becoming a professional wrestler before the NFL stepped in to stop that nonsense. After he signed with the Dallas Cowboys in 2008 following his reinstatement by the league, he again found trouble by getting liquored up and brawling with a bodyguard assigned to him by the Cowboys at a hotel. Even though no charges were filed, the NFL suspended Jones for four games because the incident was a violation of the league's personal conduct policy. When he actually managed to stay healthy and on the field, he was routinely torched by opposing offenses and provided none of the spark he was expected to bring in the kick return game. After spending this past season watching the NFL from the sidelines, he’s attempting to get back into the league and held a pro-day style workout held Friday for NFL scouts. He also privately met with the San Francisco 49ers last week and was also scheduled to meet with the Detroit Lions on Friday morning. Although Jones has (apparently, that we know of) managed to avoid trouble since his last brush with the law in October 2008, any team wishing to sign him must consider the fact that, due to his history, he is one miscue away from a lifetime ban by commissioner Roger Goodell. Compound that with the reality of him no longer being an impact player on the field and you have to seriously question the 49ers’ sanity in even meeting with him. For a team that failed to live up to playoff expectations last season, is a past-his-prime, thug-for-life idiot with an IQ of 43 worth the risk? I’d say no, but then again, I’m not the one running an NFL franchise………

- Not that I have ever been confused with a fan of that reality garbage MTV calls Jersey Shore, but at least the show’s name accurately represented what it was about: a bunch of vapid, superficial, brain-damaged tools of varying ethnicities all pretending to be Italian-Americans and engaging in the GTL lifestyle. Well, all of that gym, tan and laundry action will not be taking place in New Jersey for Season 2, yet the show is still going to be called Jersey Shore. Huh? The show is set to begin with a few weeks in freaking Miami. Earlier reports had the show shooting in South Beach, but MTV has not yet announced where the cast will live. Regardless of whether it’s South Beach, Coral Gables, downtown Miami, Ft. Lauderdale or Palm Beach, the point is that if you are going to call a show Jersey Shore, it should freaking film in Jersey. Yes, I realize that enough idiots tuned in to watch these self-proclaimed “guidos and guidettes” that they have become quasi-celebrities and filming in Jersey again without the show turning into a total circus (more than it already was) would be very difficult. Also, shooting in the spring in New Jersey would mean much chillier weather and less chances to show these knobs and skanks in revealing outfits, which I’m guessing is pretty key to the show. Wherever it films, the second season is set to premiere sometime this summer. The people who are happiest about this change in venue have to be the officials and residents of Seaside Heights, N.J., who could not distance themselves from the show far or fast enough once it and its hideous stereotypes hit the air. Over their objections, the show premiered in December of 2009 to 1.3 million viewers and Season 1's finale scored series-high ratings, attracting 4.8 million viewers. Here’s hoping that the second season is also the last season…………