- The current installment of NBC’s Apprentice reality series, Celebrity Apprentice, just debuted Sunday to 8.3 million viewers and a 3.2 rating in the 18-to-49 demo, but the network has already decided to bring back the original Apprentice for another run. The non-celebrity version of the reality show from executive producers Mark Burnett and Donald Trump will return for a sixth season, but the format will be revised. NBC will look to cash in on the nation’s ongoing recession, er, give a chance to 14 contestants who have been laid off, are unhappy with their current career path or recently graduated with few possibilities. Basically, they had 97 percent of Americans to pick from, so I’m sure they had a difficult time finding enough people to fill out the cast. "The Apprentice is a proven brand, and we believe its return is more relevant than ever since it will provide new hope for many Americans struggling in this difficult job market," said Paul Telegdy, NBC's executive vice president of alternative programming. The Apprentice franchise has now been running for six-plus years, debuting in January 2004 to solid ratings. Along the way, it has spawned catch phrases (Donald Trump's "You're fired!") and also made some reality TV idiots who no one should ever have known in the first place think they were real celebrities and actually mattered (no names…..cough….cough…Omarosa Whatever Her Last Name Is). "I am very excited to return to the original premise of The Apprentice," Trump said. "We've got to do something about the economy and this is a terrific way to provide jobs as well as business lessons along the way." In other words, anything to put his face in front of cameras and get more attention is cool with Donny T. But then again, anyone who can do this is always going to be okay with me, so rock on, Don. If you’re interested in being part of the new season of Apprentice, you can e-mail castingnbcapprentice@gmail.com. Open casting calls will be held across the nation for the new season, so you can also show up and waste a huge chunk of your life standing in line with a bunch of other losers desperate to be on a reality show if you’d like. I have no clue if this revised version of the show can recapture any of the magic from its first season, when Apprentice averaged 20.70 million viewers in 2004 and attracted 28.05 million viewers for its first finale, but every time I watch that clip of the Donald eviscerating Rosie O’Donnell, I am suddenly fine with whatever he would like to do with his life………
- I’ve long been a fan of Reader's Digest, mostly because I enjoy reading condensed versions of longer stories that I couldn’t muster the focus or discipline to read all the way through. But for those planning to take to the open road this summer, the magazine has a new story that you would be wise to pore over before heading out on your trip. RD examined data from the Federal Highway Administration -- such as highway and bridge conditions, as well as congestion and the rate of fatalities -- to come up with its rankings of the safest and most dangerous roads in the United States. For the record, Kansas, Wisconsin and Montana have the best roads in the country, according to RD. However, Montana’s roadways also have some drawbacks because in spite of its good infrastructure and few bottlenecks, it also heads up the list of deadliest states when it comes to driving under the influence. Of course, that makes a ton of sense because living in Montana is going to make just about anyone want to drink heavily……just kidding, Montanans. I know, I know, there are some people out there who enjoy vast expanses of wilderness with no one around but the animals and none of the hassles of big city life……I’m just not one of them. Ranking second and third on the “states with the most lushes who enjoy driving hammered” list were South Carolina and Louisiana. "[Montana] tops the deadliest list in part because of drivers who drink, drive recklessly or shun seat belts," the magazine's editors wrote. The most dangerous state for speeding was Alabama, followed by Mississippi and South Carolina. By the way, I’m noticing a certain trend here and it’s not a positive one for you, residents of southern states. To speak your lingo, what are y’all doin’ down thar? But instead of alienating more readers and states, how’s about we wrap this up with a list of what Reader's Digest called "dreaded, dreadful and deadly" stretches of road that frequent drivers complain about: Interstate 5 in California, Pennsylvania roads "in general" and I-285 in Atlanta, Georgia. On the flip side, the best "safe, scenic and sensible" roads include I-70 through Kansas, I-40 across New Mexico and California and I-84 in Oregon. So drink all of that in and enjoy your summer driving…………
- Hey PETA freaks, I have a great idea for you clowns. How’s about you pool your money and buy everyone in your little cadre of animal-loving kooks a ticket - plane, train, ship, whatever - to Israel so you all can join in on the growing battle over the use of fur in the home of God’s chosen people? The debate really got rolling after the airing of a graphic documentary on Israeli TV showing cats and dogs being skinned alive for their fur. That led to a public outcry and the introduction of legislation in the country’s legislature regarding the use of fur. Actress Brigitte Bardot and singer Paul McCartney have joined the campaign to make Israel the world's first fur-free country and the battle lines are being drawn by both sides. "I would like to thank you personally for your help and support promoting the law against the commerce of fur in Israel," Bardot wrote in a letter to members of Israel's parliament, the Knesset. But famous or not, Bardot and McCartney must sit and watch with everyone else as Israeli politicians debate the proposal to ban the import, production and sale of all animal fur in Israel. The key aspect of the bill would be the one relating to imports, as 95 percent of the country's textile products, which include fur, are imported from China. That also makes those products 105 percent certain to have some manner of toxic/deadly property, but that’s a whole other discussion. If the bill is passed, it could challenge other countries to follow suit - or it could give them (I’m looking at you, Iran) another reason to despise Israel. However, given that Israel's tiny fur industry is worth just $1 million a year, it could have no impact at all. Just don’t tell that to the animal-rights honks supporting it. "We [have] had a lot of support for this bill," said Jane Halevey, head of the International Anti-Fur Coalition. "The bill was validated by the government -- they had approved it." However, anti-fur zealots should be aware that the bill is certain to include exceptions for the pelts and fur of cattle, camels, goats and sheep. The International Anti-Fur Coalition and Israeli animal rights group Let Animals Live claim to have conducted a poll in which 86 percent of Israelis stated their belief that killing animals for their fur is wrong. No doubt that poll was skewed and slanted in every way possible to support the cause of those conducting it, but I am sure that there are indeed quite a few Israelites who would be okay with a ban on fur. The documentary that started it all was produced by the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in Israel and aired in February 2009 on Channel 10. The main dissenting voice against the proposed law has been - and continues to be - ultra-orthodox Hasidim Jews, who object to the all-out fur ban, saying it goes against their traditions, because they would be unable to wear the round furry hat, known as the shtreimel. In order to silence their objections, the bill was n amended to include a "cultural exception" that will allow the Hasidim to keep wearing fur to preserve their traditions. In reality, the bill is nowhere close to being voted on or passed into law, so expect to hear about this off and on for a while as the debate rages on……………
- I realize this may be a little early in the day (regardless of when you read this based on who this is addressed to), but I have big news for all the stoners, er, Phish fans out there. After taking part in the recent induction ceremonies for the biggest farce in the music business (the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame) at an event held in Manhattan on March 15, the psychedelic rockers will be embarking on one of their legendary tours this summer. Phish has just announced a summer tour that kicks off in Chicago on June 11 and will make stops at amphitheaters all over the U.S. before wrapping up on Aug. 18 at New York's Jones Beach Theatre. No word on whether your ticket purchase comes with a complementary bong or fattie, but I can guarantee that you will, as always, be able to get a contact high before you make it through the parking lot at the show. Also, Phish fans will undoubtedly be cooking up their trademark grilled cheese sandos in the parking lot along with other traditional stoner foods. The online request period for tickets through the band’s Web site ended Tuesday, with general online public sales beginning April 2.
However, I do have to question the wisdom of offering known stoners a chance, by extra effort on their part, to secure tickets. Anything requiring more effort and energy from potheads tends to go undone, if you catch my drift. Still, the tour should be huge, as the band is just one year removed from ending a five-year hiatus. After reuniting, Phish released a new studio album, “Joy,” that hit No. 1 on the Independent Albums chart last fall. Trey Anastasio and his fellow blunt burners also headlined Bonnaroo as part of their 2009 summer tour. But wait, there’s more! "Phish 3D," a concert film that documenting the band's three-day Festival 8 event in Indio, Calif. on Halloweeen weekend, will arrive in theaters soon, with the official premiere date to be announced in April…………
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