Another Kerry Wood injury, whale meat does in The Hump and the plague of Rosie is about to return

- Believe it or not, Cleveland Indians fans, Indians closer Kerry Wood could miss up to two months with a strained muscle in his upper back. I know, it’s stunning news. After all, it’s not like Wood is an injury-plagued glass figurine of a baseball player who has missed hundreds of games due to injuries in 11 MLB seasons and suffered three major arm injuries……oh wait, yes he is. This guy is more fragile than a porcelain vase or the bones of a 114-year-old woman and so it’s no surprise that he has a moderate strain on his right side that will force him to miss a minimum of six to eight weeks. Cleveland Trainer Lonnie Soloff talked about the injury from the team’s spring training base in Goodyear, Ariz. and said Wood felt sore after throwing on March 10. For some odd reason, he wasn’t concerned about the injury at the time. Then again, when you’ve had three major arm or shoulder injuries during your career, a muscle strain on your side might not feel like a huge issue. But when symptoms didn’t abate over time, Wood underwent an MRI exam that revealed the problem. While he is out, the Indians will use right-hander Chris Perez as their closer. Don’t mistake this as an attack on Wood just because I am a longtime Chicago Cubs fan who is still bitter at him for never living up to the promise he showed in striking out 20 Houston batters in his MLB debut in 1998, tying what was at that time the record for most strikeouts in a game. No, Wood is a good guy by all accounts and a solid teammate who is respected within his clubhouse. However, I just find it incredibly bizarre that some guys are so susceptible to injuries and can never stay on the field while others, often with ugly, unorthodox throwing motions, manage to stay almost entirely health during their careers. Whatever the explanation, hopefully Indians fans are prepared for another season of erratic participation from Wood and another year of 75 wins or less from their beloved Indians…………

- How very noble of the popular southern California restaurant formerly known as The Hump to not only apologize for serving illegal whale meat, but also to nobly close it doors to bring awareness to the very practice it was accused of. The Hump, a popular eatery in Santa Monica, is closing after being accused of serving illegal whale meat and the company that owns the restaurant posted a statement on the restaurant’s Web site which said: "After 12 years doing business in Santa Monica, The Hump will be closing its doors effective March 20, 2010. The Hump hopes that by closing its doors, it will help bring awareness to the detrimental effect that illegal whaling has on the preservation of our ocean ecosystems and species." Funny, but why weren’t you concerned with those things when you were perpetuating the problem by serving the illegal results of that illegal harvest? The restaurant can trace its demise - at least in part - to two members of a documentary filmmaking team who visited The Hump in October. The producers of "The Cove" visited The Hump as part of making their film, which exposes the annual killing of dolphins at a Japanese fishing village. It won the Academy Award for Best Documentary earlier in March, but if these people are the animal rights kooks I would imagine them to be, closing down The Hump meant just as much to them if not more. They entered the restaurant with a hidden camera and captured the waitress serving them whale and horse meat and identifying them as such, according to a federal criminal complaint. Even more damning was a receipt from the restaurant at the end of the meal that identified their meal components as "whale" and "horse" with a cost of $85 written next to them. Oh, and the two women also snuck out pieces of the meat in a dinner napkin and sent them to a researcher at Oregon State University. He examined the meat chunks and identified the whale sample to be that of sei whale. For those unfamiliar with the laws regarding the sale of whale meat in the United States, it is illegal for their meat to be sold in this country because whales are considered an endangered species. The Hump was an easy target for the filmmakers because it was known for its exotic fare. Also caught up in the investigation were Typhoon Restaurant Inc., the parent company of the restaurant, and one of its chefs -- Kiyoshiro Yamamoto - on a charge of illegally selling a marine mammal product for an unauthorized purpose. Cut through all of that legalese and the offense is merely a misdemeanor with a federal prison sentence of up to a year and a fine of up to $200,000 for the company. But that will happen when you go against both the Endangered Species Act and the Marine Mammal Protection Act, both of which make it illegal, except under very limited circumstances, to hunt, kill or capture whales or to trade in the animals or any part of them. Still, what’s hilarious to me is The Hump’s owners pretending to give a damn about illegal whaling only after they had be found to be part of the problem and trying to pawn their closing off as a noble gesture rather than what it was - namely, trying to beat everyone to the punch by pushing the eject button before the boycotts and demonstrations began, inevitably leading to a slow decline in its business and the eatery’s ultimate demise…………

- If there is one thing I don’t need to be talked into supporting, it would be anything that is anti-smoking. I’ve said it before and I will continue to say it as long as there is at least one person out there who is still shoving cancer sticks into their pie hole and giving off toxic secondhand smoke for the test of us to breathe: Smokers are losers. So if the Food and Drug Administration says that every day, nearly 4,000 children in the U.S. under the age of 18 try their first cigarette, and of those, a thousand become daily smokers, then I believe them. I’m right there with the FDA as the agency issues a new rule titled Regulations Restricting the Sale and Distribution of Cigarettes and Smokeless Tobacco to Protect Children and Adolescents. The new rule is heavy on federal requirements that will significantly curb kids’ access to cigarettes and smokeless tobacco products. To address the issue, the rule would also ban manufacturers from marketing tobacco products for those under the age of 18. My only beef with the rule is that it doesn’t go into effect until June 22. Go ahead and prohibit the sale of cigarettes or smokeless tobacco to people younger than 18, prohibit the sale of cigarette packages with less than 20 cigarettes and prohibit distribution of free samples of cigarettes today, not months down the road. Feel free to restrict distribution of free samples of smokeless tobacco and prohibit tobacco brand name sponsorship of any athletic, musical or other social or cultural events today, not tomorrow. The world will be no worse off it tobacco manufacturers unable to pass out hats, t-shirts and other swag with their name on them to children. Upping the fines for doing these things is a great idea because if any business should be losing more money, it’s the tobacco business. "It's important all Americans lead healthy lives," Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius said. "That means protecting our children from unhealthy habits as well." Yeah, I agree, but I’m not so much focused on the kids who will benefit from these new laws as much as the fact that the companies responsible for manufacturing, marketing and selling cancer sticks will suffer. I didn’t expect another piece of good anti-smoking news so soon after the FDA’s September announcement banning flavored cigarettes and flavored tobacco because of their appeal to kids. “Flavored cigarettes attract and allure kids into lifetime addiction," explained Howard Koh, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Assistant Secretary for Health, at the time of the ban. So to you, cancer stick makers of the world, I say this: Suck it. You suck, your products suck and the world would be an immeasurably better place if none of your empire had ever existed. And no, I don’t care about the role tobacco played in the early colonies and their economy. Colonists could have found better things to grow, trade and sell, things that would not lead to millions of deaths in the years ahead. So screw you, tobacco makers, for all the harm you’ve wrought in this world………….

- Do I need to get the Donald on speed dial? I thought the world was rid of the menace known as Rosie O’Fat, er, um, O’Donnell. She bombed out as one of the co-hosts on The View, she launched a magazine that failed miserably and of late, she’s been obscure enough that I haven’t heard much from her. But for some odd reason, former Warner Bros. TV distribution executives Scott Carlin and Dick Robertson believe that the world wants to see more of the crass, classless, ugly-inside-and-out O’Donnell on their TV screens. The duo has inked her to a domestic TV syndication deal. Perhaps both men are longing for the days when they helped O’Donnell launch her first show, The Rosie O'Donnell Show, in 1996. And yes, I realize that The Rosie O'Donnell Show ran for six years and won the Emmy for best talk show five years in a row and the award for outstanding talk show host six years in a row. I don’t know how to explain that travesty, although I would point you to my take, stated on many occasions, of what an absolute farce and waste of time that the Emmys and all like awards shows are. So if O’Donnell’s lame daytime talk fest won some of those awards, that doesn’t validate her or the show. Perhaps the pickings were just slimmer back then when it came to daytime television, I don’t know. What I do know is that Donald Trump was 200 percent right in his diatribe in which he ridiculed O’Donnell as FAT, classless, a truck driver, someone with deep-seated mental issues and a person who is disgusting both inside and out. I don’t care if The Oprah Winfrey Show is leaving the world of network daytime TV in the fall of 2011; no one needs more Rosie. Do I need to refer you back to the absolute train wreck that was 2008’s NBC variety show on, Rosie Live, the first episode of which attracted just 5.25 million viewers? Go away and stay away, Rosie, and no one will miss you, I promise……….

- Ah, how I love kooky religious groups. If your religious posse of choice is bizarre, then I want to hear from you. So it is with great joy that I talk up my new friends from the group known as Reboot -- a nonprofit organization aimed at reinventing the traditions and rituals of Judaism for today's secular Jews. These super Jews are looking to reclaim the Sabbath from the menaces of modern society and their membership roster includes some fairly powerful people: Internet entrepreneurs, creators of award-winning television shows, community organizers and nonprofit leaders. These "Rebooters" spearheaded an effort called the National Day of Unplugging, which stretched from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday, the Jewish Sabbath. The event consisted of 24 hours of complete and total disconnection from smartphones, cell phones, laptops and other devices. Better still, Rebooters had their own manifesto, which is another surefire way for kooky religious orders to win my heart. The principles of the Sabbath Manifesto are:

1. Avoid technology.

2. Connect with loved ones.

3. Nurture your health.

4. Get outside.

5. Avoid commerce.

6. Light candles.

7. Drink wine.

8. Eat bread.

9. Find silence.

10. Give back.

Hmm, interesting. The creator of the Sabbath Manifesto is Dan Rollman, a Rebooter and founder of the Universal World Record Database Web site. No word on whether he went full-on Unabomber and locked himself in a Montana cabin to create his manifesto, but he came up with the rules because he feared technology was taking over too much of his life. "There's clearly a social problem when we're interacting more with digital interfaces than our fellow human beings," Rollman said. "Rich, engaging conversations are harder to come by than they were a few years ago. Our attention spans are silently evaporating." In a sense, I like the spirit of the 24-hour tech withdrawal because as someone who is a huge tech guy, getting too engrossed in your lapper, smartphone or other devices is always a concern. The point of technology should be as a means to share the experiences of the world around you with…..the world around you. You can’t do that unless you experience the world outside of your LCD screen or monitor, so perhaps there is wisdom in the Day of Unplugging for all of us. You need not be Jewish to embrace a good concept designed for Jews……..