- Allow this to be a lesson to us all: drunk break dancing is a bad idea. Don’t let what happened to Ryan Baczkiewicz of Elma, N.Y., happen to you. Baczkiewicz showed up drunk for a house party at a friend’s house and as drunk people do from time to time, he acted like an absolute ass. More specifically, dude decided that it was a good idea to try out his work-in-progress break-dancing skills……on his friend’s parent’s hardwood floors…….while wearing a large diamond belt buckle. Needless to say, those attempts did not bring about a positive result. Well, unless you consider approximately $3,000 in damage to the hardwood floors and an arrest on felony criminal mischief charges successful. As with all bitchin’ house parties thrown by teenagers, this one happened while the party-throwers parents were out of town on vacation, looking to escape the mountains of snow piling up in Elma, N.Y. of late. They returned home and found their nice hardwood floors scratched the heck up and probably had a fairly animated conversation with their daughter about how that came to be. For sure, that’s not one of those things that happen during a party where you can try to cover it up by moving some furniture to cover it or slapping a little touch-up paint on the problem. If there are massive scratches all over the middle of some hardwood flooring, you are f*cking screwed. When the truth about the damages came out, a call to the police was the next step. Baczkiewicz was then charged with criminal mischief in the second degree, a class D felony, and criminal trespass in the second degree, a class A misdemeanor. According to witnesses, he made “repeated attempts at break dancing” while very drunk. That was enough to earn Senor Baczkiewicz a trip to the nearest police station, where he was held on no bail, pending his arraignment in the Town of Elma Court. Honestly, this tool should consider himself fortunate that the police can’t prove what his blood-alcohol level was at the time of the incident because at age 18, he would also be facing some sweet underage drinking charges as well if that were the case. Well done, moron…………
- NOW do you believe me that Google is attempting to take over the world, piece by piece? The web giant’s acquisition quest took another giant step forward today as it acquired reMail, an app that provides advanced e-mail search capabilities for the iPhone. Founder and CEO Gabor Cselle announced the acquisition on his blog, but did not give official terms of the deal. Cselle is the former VP of Engineering for Xobni and also a former engineer at Google, so perhaps his connections to the company were key to this deal. Google is also buying out Silicon Valley seed funding firm Y Combinator, which is also an investor in reMail. The thing about this deal is that Google apparently has no interest in reMail itself. In fact, Cselle admitted up front that both companies have decided to discontinue the reMail iPhone app and that he will become a product manager for Gmail. The losers here appear to be users of reMail, which I have actually heard quite a few positive comments about in learning what it is and how in functions. Acquiring reMail allows Google to stamp out some of its competition while acquiring some new talent to boost its own product line. And in a strict business sense, focusing on Gmail rather than an iPhone app makes a lot of sense. Having said that, I’m not moving off my point that Google is secretly plotting to take over the world and enslave us all. Subverting their competition gradually is one of the more sinister parts of the plot, I’ll grant you, but it doesn’t mean that plot doesn’t exist. Google has also acquired social search startup Aardvark, display ad tech firm Teracent and mobile ad network AdMob while most of you weren’t paying attention, by the way. Some day, all of you will come over to my side of this battle and I will welcome you. I just hope that happens before it’s too late…………
- Shocker of all shockers, some characters involved in major plot lines from last week’s Lost were completely AWOL this week. But rather than dwell on the negatives, let’s proceed with the recap. Things begin in Oceanic-land (where Flight 815 never crashed on the island) and Jack Shephard on the phone with his mother. It’s 10:30 a.m. and she’s frantic because she can't find her late husband’s will. Jack promises to help her find it, but right now he has to go to St. Mary’s Academy to pick up……his freaking son, David. Yes, Oceanic-land Jack has a son. Their relationship is clearly strained an apparently they don’t see one another often. Back on the island Jacob appears to Hurley at the temple as the big man passes through the room with the healing pool on his way to get something to eat. The dead-but-hanging-around Jacob informs Hurley that someone is coming to the island and he needs to do certain things to help them find it. To that end he suggests that Hurley find a pen to write down the details. Back in Oceanic-land, Jack is at his apartment with his son but has to leave to go help his mother find his father’s will. He promises to bring back dinner, but David doesn’t seem too enthused by the prospect. On the island, Sayid finds Jack and questions him as to what happened with the mysterious pill Dogen wanted Jack to give Sayid. Jack is honest and admits that it was poison because Dogen and his people fear the same darkness that infected Jack’s sister, Claire (he doesn’t know that’s who it is) has also infected Sayid. As for Claire, she’s out in the jungle, where she frees Jin from the bear trap he was ensnared in while being chased by two of the new Others, Aldo and Justin. Claire tells Jin she’s been alone on island for three years since the other Oceanic 815 survivors left. Jin tries to get up and walk but can’t because of his leg wound, so Claire helps carry him. Meanwhile, Hurley it at the temple, following the directions he received from Jacob. They are written on his arm and take him to a remote hallway deep inside the temple. He examines symbols on the wall and stops at one that looks like a ring At that moment, Dogen finds him and tells him to leave, but Jacob (who only Hurley can see) appears, and tells Hurley to tell Dogen that he’s a candidate. An angry Dogen snaps at Hurley in Chinese and leaves. Not done, Jacob tells Hurley to go get Jack because he needs him for his new mission and to tell him, “You have what it takes.” Initially hesitant to follow Hurley, Jack changes his mind when he hears that line. On their way to Hurley’s mystery destination, they also encounter Kate and she explains that she’s parted ways with Sawyer and Jin but has no plans to return to the temple. She and Jack share a tension-packed moment but when he tries to invite her along on the journey, Hurley objects because, “She wasn’t invited.” On Jack and Hurley go while elsewhere in the jungle, Claire returns to the lean-to where she apparently lives and has brought Jin to treat him for his injury. Jin is inside the structure alone when Claire saunters back in carrying Justin, one of the Others who attacked Jin in the jungle. Before Claire returns, Jin finds a bizarre crib made out of materials from the jungle and inside is a pile of animal bones in the shape of a baby with an animal skull in place of the baby’s head. While Claire heads back out for materials to treat Jin, Justin pleads with Jin to cut him loose so they can both escape before Claire kills them. In Oceanic-land, the search continues for the late Christian Shephard’s will. Jack’s mother finally finds it, but the first name in the will is not hers or Jack’s, but rather Claire’s. As for Claire, back on the island she is stitching up Jin’s wound while expounding her theory that the Others stole her son, Aaron, and have him at their temple. She explains that both Christian (dead but still known to appear various places on the island) and her “friend” told her the Others took Aaron. She then tells Justin he needs to tell her where Aaron is right now. Flip back to Oceanic-land, where Jack returns home to find David has snuck out. Jack calls around looking for him and goes in search of the boy at his (David’s) mother’s house, although we don’t know who that is. At the house, across town in L.A., Jack finds several messages on the answering machine, including one from Jack himself while on his trip in Australia and one from a music conservatory confirming an audition. On the island, Jack and Hurley tromp through jungle, discussing why they returned to island as they go. Jack admits he was broken and believed that coming back to the island would fix him. They then reach their destination: an ornate lighthouse on edge of the island. Jack wonders how they’ve never seen it before, to which Hurley replies, “Maybe we just weren’t looking for it.” Elsewhere in the jungle, Claire continues to question Justin, but Jin admits that Aaron has been with Kate off the island for past three years. That revelation isn’t enough for Claire not to kill Justin, which she accomplishes by planting an ax in his chest. In Oceanic-land, Jack follows up on the message he heard on the answering machine and finds David auditioning at a place called the Williams Conservatory. While he stands in the back and listens to his son play, Jack also encounters freaking Dogen, who is also there with his son. The two dads talk briefly, but are obviously total strangers in this particular setting. On the island, Hurley and Jack enter the lighthouse. At the top, they find the same names that were written on cave ceiling that faux Locke showed to Sawyer last episode, etched on a wheel in middle of top floor of the lighthouse. There are also several tall mirrors attached to the wheel and Hurley has instructions from Jacob to turn the wheel to 108 degrees. As it turns, Jack sees something astonishing: the mirrors that rotate with the wheel show images from life of person (i.e. his life, Hurley’s life, etc.) whose number corresponds to degree marker on the wheel that is pointed to by an arrow hovering about the wheel. When Jack sees his name beside the number 23, he grabs the controls from Hurley and turns the wheel to 23 degrees. When he stops the wheel, he sees house he grew up in reflected in the mirrors. Unnerved and badly rattled, he demands to talk to Jacob, whom Hurley has promised all along would be at the lighthouse. When Hurley can’t make that happen, Jack smashes all of the mirrors, enraged by the realization that Jacob has been watching all of them all their lives. Back in Oceanic-land, Jack meets David outside recital hall. They reconcile as Jack admits that his own dad told him, “You don’t have what it takes.” He says he just wants to be a part of David’s life and the boy agrees. They go back home for pizza, providing at least one happy ending for Jack in the episode. Life is not so happy on the island for Jin. With Justin dead, she turns her attention to him and asks about his claim that Aaron has been with Claire off the island. Jin tells Claire he was lying about Kate, realizing after she buried the ax in Justin’s gut that Kate would be in grave danger if he stuck to the truth. And as it turns out, Claire admits she would have killed Kate if Jin were telling the truth. Instead, he tells her Aaron is held by the Others at the temple and offers to help her sneak in. At the lighthouse, Jacob appears as Hurley and Jack exit and wander around on the area between the lighthouse and the cliff. Jacob tells Hurley what happened was what he wanted because it brought Jack to the lighthouse and showed him how important he is to what’s going to happen on the island. Asked why he didn’t just find Jack and explain it to him the way he did for Hurley, Jacob replies, “Some times you can hop into the back of someone’s cab and tell them what to do and other times, you have to let them sit and stare at the sea.” He nods to Jack, sitting on the rocks and staring out at the vast expanse of the sea. Jacob also explains that because of Hurley and Jack’s importance, he had to get them as far away from the temple as possible because someone dangerous is headed there. He also warns Hurley that it’s too late to warn those at the temple of this dangerous visitor. The final scene is back at Claire’s makeshift shelter, where faux Locke appears in Claire’s tent and Jin is stunned to see him, since at last he knew, Locke was dead. Claire she reveals that she knows it’s not really Locke, but someone else in his body. She also says he is the friend she referred to earlier. So perhaps the darkness that Dogen referred to as having infected Sayid and already having turned Claire bad is actually real. I could have used Sawyer in this episode, along with Ben, Ana Lucia, Sun and more than 30 seconds of Kate, but I suppose you take what you can get. Not a bad episode overall, but it could have been better with those characters involved…………
- Two words for you, University of Michigan football coach Rich-er Fraud-riguez: Uh-oh! You may have denied it, but the NCAA is accusing your program of five potentially major rules violations under your watch. Well, Fraud-riguez denied the allegations initially when no one had definitive proof, but now that they have that proof, he is admitting making "mistakes." Of course, making those major “mistakes,” having losing records his first two seasons in Ann Arbor and going to no bowl games so far still isn’t enough to get him fired, but that’s UM’s problem. Fraud-riguez will be back for a third season at UM under the watch of incoming athletic director David Brandon, who disclosed the NCAA conclusions Tuesday. Brandon stated that there were no surprises in the report and expressed full support for his coach, but you know inside he has to be seething at the prospect of having a coach who is 8-16 in two disappointing seasons also being a dishonest, deceitful douche bag who is being counted on to rally a once-proud football program. "Rich Rodriguez is our football coach, and he will be our football coach next year," Brandon said. That’s your problem, Mr. AD. In the notice of allegations delivered to the university Monday, the NCAA said Rodriguez "failed to promote an atmosphere of compliance within the football program," and tracked neither what his staff was doing nor whether his players were following NCAA rules. The rules they appear to have violated the most often are those limiting the time spent on practice and football-related activities. Not content to point its finger at the football program, the NCAA also said the athletics department failed to make sure its football program was complying with NCAA regulations. A defiant Brandon confessed that the department "clearly made mistakes," but "there was no charge of loss of institutional control." His choice of words there is key because in previous cases where the NCAA has found there to be a “loss of institutional control,” severe sanctions have bee handed down. The notice was accompanied by a letter from the NCAA to university President Mary Sue Coleman stating Michigan "should understand that all of the alleged violations set forth in the document" are considered to be "potential major violations of NCAA legislation, unless designated as secondary." Brandon didn’t exactly come across as intelligent or competent in his new job when discussing that aspect of the case. "I'm not sure I understand the difference between 'major' and 'minor' and 'secondary' and 'primary,'" Brandon said. "They spell it out very specifically in their own language." I would advise you to become familiar with those things, Dave, because odds are that with the guy you have coaching your program, those topics will come up again soon…..very soon. Also hanging over Michigan’s head is the fact that it could be subject to the NCAA's "repeat violator rule," because of NCAA sanctions imposed in 2003 because of wrongdoing within the basketball program. What’s next in the case? Michigan has 90 days to formally respond to the charges and the case will be heard at a hearing in August. One tactic the university could take in seeking to mitigate potential NCAA penalties is to administer self-imposed sanctions such as restrictions on recruiting or reducing the number of scholarships available for the football program for the next few seasons. All of this uproar originated in August, when reports of Michigan exceeding NCAA limits regarding practices and workouts in 2008 and 2009 surfaced thanks to the infamous “unidentified players.” Personally, I think handing a guy a six-year contract worth $2.5 million per season should buy you the right to expect a clean program that runs by the rules, but maybe that’s just me. What cracks me up is Fraud-riguez trying to pretend that he doesn’t know exactly what the violations are, who was responsible and what wrongdoing occurred. "We're looking at it to see why we misinterpreted and why we made mistakes," he said. You certified piece of crap, how dare you insult us. You are the HEAD COACH. You know exactly what you and your staff did and dammit, you knew it was wrong when you did it. Stop lying and trying to cover your ass, you jerk. NCAA regulations allow players to spend eight hours a week on mandatory workouts during the offseason and multiple players said that required practices sometimes amounted to two or three times that many hours. Don’t even attempt to tell me that you thought requiring those time commitments from players was within the rules, Fraud-riguez. Nearly as bad is Brandon trying to spin the situation as the football program merely failing to communicate properly and turn in mandated monthly reports documenting practice time and other time commitments for players. "My reading of the situation is we had a breakdown of communication," Brandon said Tuesday. "We found we were not being vigilant in the way those [time records] were being filled and managed." Yeah, that’s what it was, a big communication error. Look Dave, I realize that you are the former chairman and CEO of a pizza joint (Domino’s) that is the third or fourth best national pizza chain around and that you won't officially take over as athletic director until March 8, but you need to step your game up and get a clue. If only I were named athletic director at the University of Michigan……Fraud-riguez would be out in less than two seconds because I would take advantage of the provision in his contract stating that Fraud-riguez can be fired for cause if the NCAA, the Big Ten or the school determines he has committed a major violation of NCAA rules or he has intentionally committed any other type of violation of NCAA rules. It would be adios, coach Fraud-riguez…………
-I knew the Pacific northwest was Stoner Central, but even I’m impressed by the stoner-ific stream of pothead news coming out of the state of Washington lately. We’ve all heard of the stoner who thinks that baking pot into his or her brownies and taking them to work is a funny joke. What you may not have heard of is the drug dealer using brownies and other homemade baked goods as a sort of Trojan horse to get his brownies into the hands of kids. Now you have, thanks to my man Kruz Hawkins of Spokane, Wash. Spokane police arrested Hawkins because he allegedly sold marijuana-laden Rice Krispy Treats to Shadle Park High School Students. He was busted in a parking lot near the high school Thursday morning by members of the Special Investigations Unit. Hawkins was spotted selling his spiked snacks to several kids standing nearby and that he would do so on a daily basis, after which his customers would then take them back to school and consume them on campus. "Clearly they can't light up a joint at school," Spokane police officer Jennifer DeRuwe said. "So they're eating their treats back at school." With my abiding love for stoners, I would love to tell you that Hawkins is going to get off on these charges, but it definitely doesn’t look that way. When police executed a search warrant at the of Hawkins’ father, they found more hippie lettuce and more baked goods. "He'd sell the marijuana in the cookies, or brownies, or Rice Krispy treats. Whatever he could to conceal the marijuana," DeRuwe said. Oh, and Hawkins’ father Ricky was arrested for knowingly allowing his son to sell drugs from his home. I have to say, I just don’t get all of this. What’s with the combined surveillance and undercover operations in and around Shadle Park High School focusing on the sales of drugs in the neighborhood, Spokane police? Once again I ask you, are stoners not some of the most mellow, gentle and harmless people you know? Why are you so against a new generation of stoners being created and learning how to create bongs out of aluminum cans, apple cores and toilet papers rolls? Leave the stoners alone and I promise you, the world will be better off because of it…………
No comments:
Post a Comment