- As a huge, huge fan of college football, you may be surprised what I am about to say: college football’s signing day for recruits, which occurred Wednesday, is the most ginormous waste of time and energy in all of sports. Seriously, fawning over the college choices of high school seniors like they are researching a cure for cancer is lame-tastic. That there are scores and scores of “recruiting experts” who rank these kids from virtually the time they enter high school and breathlessly report on every change in direction that their recruiting saga takes (I heard he bought a red sweatshirt today, red is Ohio State’s color, he’s going to the Buckeyes!) is moronic at best. These are high school seniors, prone to change their mind on a whim. Ranking recruiting classes before they are even official, speculating on who may sign where and pretending like anyone has any idea how these guys will pan out as college players is a complete farce. Florida had the top-ranked recruiting class this year, but of course that has next to no bearing on how their season will go this year. For starters, the vast majority of incoming freshman won't play a down for their team in the coming year. Some will be redshirted, meaning they don’t even suit up for games, and others will be buried so deep on the depth chart that they will need a telescope to see the action on the field. Even those who do play will likely be bit players and not make much a of a difference, with a few talented exceptions. Some will never take the field for their new school at all because of grades, injuries or because they transfer during their first year because they realize that the situation they are in wasn’t what they expected. Others will eventually make an impact, but it won't be until their third or fourth year on the team. And oh yeah, this entire evaluation of recruiting classes is such an inexact science that in the end, the predictions often have no real bearing on how good a group of recruits turns out to be. At best, the predictions won’t materialize on the field for two years and who the heck wants to waste time and effort learning about what may happen two years down the road when this coming season is what counts the most? Like I said, I loves me some college football and I watch more games than just about anyone, but I didn’t spend one second of my time paying attention to any of Wednesday’s recruiting hoopla. Next……………
- Eventually, Conan O'Brien will probably end up doing a late-night show for Fox, but company chairman and CEO Rupert Murdoch is playing it coy for now. At a press conference covering News Corp's second quarter, Murdoch wasn’t willing to give up much about his company’s interest in inking O’Brien to host a late-night program now that the vastly overrated comedian has finalized his divorce with NBC. "Certainly if the program people can show us that we could do it, and be fairly confident of making a profit on it, we'd do it in a flash," Murdoch said. "But we're giving it a lot of thought and a lot of examination." Wow, if it would make you money, you’d do it? Shocker. But if a show featuring clog-dancing midgets accompanied by harp-playing bears and old ladies knitting afghans would make money, Fox would do that as well, so those comments don’t tell us much. Murdoch also stated that there are varying opinions at Fox about bringing O’Brien on board. That’s good news because it means there are at least a few people within the company smart enough to realize what an awkward, unfunny and overhyped tool O’Brien is. I’ve never bought into his brand of funny and any time I’ve watched one of his shows – The Tonight Show or The Late Show – I have never laughed very much or had an interest in watching more often. I know Conan has his devoted followers, but then again, so do Jersey Shore and crap-tastic music acts like Britney Spears, Black Eyed Peas and Lady Gaga, so that doesn’t mean much. Another voice in the “O’Brien to Fox” rumors is News Corp President and COO Chase Carey, who said, "I'm sure there have been some conversations, but... if you mean real negotiations, no." I would tell Fox not to do it, to back away from the negotiating table, take a second look at what it is doing and go a different direction, but the reality is that NBC, ABC and CBS all have a stake in the late-night race and you know Fox would love to swipe some of that market for itself. There will be just enough dolts and dimwits involved in the discussion to swing the decision in O’Brien’s favor and he will become a much richer man after Murdoch ultimately signs a huge check to bring him into the fold…………
- The Tea Party still sucks. These are, after all, the fools who thought that tossing tea bags into bodies of water was still a valid form of protest in the 21st century. but as the party’s first national convention gets under way (why now, I don’t know), it’s becoming apparent that their ass-hattedness is far, far more vast than any of us could have anticipated. See, the convention is showing that these fools don’t even have a lot in common with members of their own party. What they appear to be is a loose confederation of groups that hate the current government and agree on little else. As Tea Party leaders from across the country gather to network and support the movement's, they are finding that they disagree with one another almost as much as they disagree with the Obama administration. Oh, and two of the scheduled speakers for the convention, Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn and Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann, pulled out, citing problems with the for-profit status of the Tea Party Nation. That left the TP with former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as the convention's keynote speaker, which is akin to going to the NBA All-Star Game and finding that a junior high player from Topeka is the starting point guard for one of the teams. But I suppose that this story of chaos and ridiculousness is what you get when an entire political party arises out of opposition to one issue – alleged overspending in Washington -- by both Republicans and Democrats -- following the stimulus bill. Out of that murky maelstrom of moronic activity, hundreds of loosely linked groups from around the nation began coming together and these right-wing whack jobs actually thought that they were a viable political entity. These are the freak jobs who have attempted to label President Obama a socialist and sported posters with his face altered to resemble Hitler or The Joker. Way to keep it realistic, relevant and on-point, Tea Party tools. Primary season is about to kick off for congressional elections in the fall, so it would behoove the Tea Party to stop fighting amongst itself and figure out an actual direction and unified aim – just don’t expect that to happen. It may be bad for them, but at least the rest of us can sit back and mock them for our own amusement…………..
- What the heck? China already has the United States’ financial family jewels in a vice grip, they supply an inordinately high number of consumer goods to us and now we’re shipping them a couple of our giant pandas? Three-year-old Mei Lan left Zoo Atlanta in Georgia early Thursday morning and was flown to Washington aboard a FedEx 777 christened the "Panda Express," where Mei Lan was joined by her 4-year-old cousin, Tai Shan, who left Washington's National Zoo. The two pandas are headed for their new home in China after being on loan from the world’s largest Communist hell hole. The reason for their move is to help replenish the endangered species' numbers. Eventually, both pandas will take part in a breeding program in China. Great, so we’re pimping out our pandas to the Chinese? Do we at least get a billion chipped off our national debt for that? Look, I understand that giant pandas are an endangered species. I realize that just 1,600 giant pandas are left in the wild. Having said that, I am not down with FedEx-ing a couple of our pandas 15 hours across the Pacific Ocean to China. Asking them to make a 15-hour trip, adjust to a new home and live under Communist rule just seems a tad harsh. Officials at the breeding center where Mei Lan is headed are busy searching for a boyfriend for her and also for a Chinese language teacher so that Mei Lan could be taught to understand when she is told in Chinese to return to her cage. "Mei Lan has been living in the United States since she was born, and she must be unfamiliar with Chinese, especially the Sichuan dialect," said Huang Xiangming, a director of the breeding center, told the paper. Yeah, teaching our pandas Chinese just doesn’t rank all that high on the priority list here in the good ol’ U.S. of A, Huang. We’re more concerned with them being healthy, happy and available for photo ops when zoo visitors want to snap a picture of them or perhaps accidentally put themselves inside the bear cage to be mauled and eaten by the bears. So just be thankful that I wasn’t the one who made the call as to these pandas being sent to China, because if it were up to me to make the call on it, you Commie jerks could suck it…………
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