- A madman is running loose on the streets of Metropolis tonight and his name is Dr. Bernard Chisholm, abducting Kandorians. Yes, Smallville had a new whack-a-doo and Chisholm began the hour by abducting Vala, one of the Kandorians that Clark Kent helped obtain a new identity and life. She has embraced normalcy by working at a coffee shop, but her night is ruined when Chisholm ambushes her inside the coffee shop wearing a welding mask/gas mask combo and renders her unconscious with some sort of toxic gas. Next thing Vala knows, she is in Chisholm’s dark, Spartan lab and trapped inside some sort of containment unit that basically shrink-wraps her body and keeps her head inside some sort of small compartment. Chisholm vows that he knows about she and her alien friends invading Earth and that he is going to stop them. At the Daily Planet, Clark and Lois once again lament their lack of quality time together and make a date for that evening. However, those plans take a detour when Vals’s sister Faora shows up at the Planet looking for Clark’s help because her sister has gone missing. He begins searching the city to find her, but the search proves fruitless and Clark can’t figure it out. Figuring things out is exactly what Tess Mercer has in mind, as she summons Oliver Queen to her office and challenges him to find a leak in one of the subsidiaries of LuthorCorp, which they are both owners in. Someone is stealing large chunks of money and since it’s a subsidiary that Oliver oversees, Tess demands that he plug the leak. In truth, Oliver has a very good idea who the leak is. He visits the apartments above the Talon in Smallville and Chloe is happy to see him. She thinks he’s there to hook up, as apparently they are now an item, but instead he cranks some rock music on the stereo and instead of getting close to kiss her, he gets close so he can whisper a warning to her while the music blares. He explains that Tess is watching him and probably listening to their conversation and that he knows she is probably the source of the leak. Chloe admits that she has been siphoning money from the company, but not stealing it for herself. Instead, she explains that she’s been buying a “insurance policy for the world.” That insurance policy is located in a large trailer in some random freeway underpass/back alley in the city. Inside are a slew of Kryptonite weapons – knives, daggers, guns, bullets, etc. A stunned Oliver marvels that Chloe has amassed a trailer full of weapons that could kill Clark, one of her best friends, but she counters that Clark’s moral compass has led them astray before, that she’s no longer comfortable blindly trusting him and that he is now running with his Kandorian peeps and that could spell trouble. As they exit the trailer, an investigator working for Tess snaps pictures of them with a long-distance telephoto lens. Back in Metropolis, Lois is at the café where she and Clark were to have their date and instead, she is approach by Chisholm, who cuts right to the point and says that he wants to offer her the scoop of a lifetime: aliens in Metropolis. He claims to have plenty of evidence and even says that he has sent dozens of letters to her at the Planet to get her attention. Lois, clearly thinking she’s in the presence of insanity, pretends to be interested in the story but excuses herself outside to call 911. Before she can speak to the operator, a gun clicks right behind her head and Chisholm is there gun in hand. He renders her unconscious and drags her back to his lab, where a horrified Lois sees the Kandorians inside holding tanks that Chisholm has amassed – three of them in total. He forces her to begin writing the story about aliens invading the planet and promises that once the story comes out and scientists from around the world see it and see the results of blood testing and other work he has done on the aliens, they will come to see what he is doing. While Lois is being held captive, Zod is busy trying to track down the missing Kandorians. He sneaks into the Planet, steals a credential and poses as a reporter to sneak into the archive room, where he is pointed in the direction of submissions from readers who claim to have seen aliens and UFOs. Digging through the pile of whack-job mail, he finds a bundle of letters from Chisholm to Lois with Kryptonian symbols on the envelopes and realizes he’s found his culprit. Zod arrives at Chisholm’s lab to find Lois, whom he met while she was in the hospital and he posed as an FBI agent who was also a pal of Clark’s. Zod attempts to free the captured Kryptonians when Chisholm leaves the room, but the deranged alien hunter returns and shoots Zod in the stomach. Because he doesn’t have his powers back yet, Zod is wounded by the shot and falls to the ground, slowly bleeding to death. Chisholm forces Lois to keep writing his story and she appears to have no other option. He also reveals to her that he is hunting the Kryptonians because he died of a heart attack, but they somehow stole his body, experimented on it and brought him back to life. His skill is all cut up and he clearly has a score to settle with those responsible. Meanwhile, Clark and Faora attempt to get to the bottom of what’s going on. They head to Metropolis General, where Chisholm was apparently a doctor. While there, Faora admits to Clark that the three Kryptonians who disappeared were all engineers of a sort, experimenting on human bodies they stole from the morgue at the hospital. Clark is furious and says what they did was wrong, but Faora surprises him by revealing that Zod had no knowledge of the project. Furthermore, she claims that while on Krypton, he was a brave and fearless leader who once saved her life in battle. Clark doesn’t know him at all and doesn’t realize what a great man he is, she claims. When they finally do get into the morgue to ask questions, the doctor they encounter is unwilling to help until Clark threatens to blackmail him if he doesn’t. The doc admits that Chisholm caught body snatchers – the Kryptonians – in the morgue and was so stunned by their presence that he had a heart attack and died. All told, four bodies were stolen, including John Corben, i.e. Bryan Austin Green’s character from earlier this season who was implanted with a Kryptonite-powered heart and became Metallo. Clark super-speeds to Chisholm’s lab just in time to stop the good doctor, who has busted out a chainsaw and is prepared to finish off Zod. When Clark stops him and tosses him across the room, Chisholm raises the chainsaw above his head and runs it right into some electrical wiring, killing himself on the spot. Intentional or accidental? Not sure, but either way, he’s dead. Zod is about to join him until Clark seizes a piece of Kryptonite from a nearby table, cuts himself and drips some of his blood into Zod’s open wound. The wound heals and Zod survives, so Clark appears to have done an about face on him. Back at the trailer where Chloe’s arsenal was, Tess and one of her men arrive to look inside and when they crack the lock, they find the trailer empty. Oliver explains to Chloe that he moved her stockpile because he figured Tess would eventually come after it. At the Planet, Clark and Lois meet up and try once again to find a time for a date, but both are drawn away by text messages. Lois’ message is from someone calling themself The Wall and thanking her for forwarding them one of the blood samples she nabbed from Chisholm’s lab. Clark’s text is from Zod, who is up on the Planet’s roof. The two men share a handshake and Zod thanks Clark for saving his life, admitting he was wrong about him. The two pledge to build a better future for their people together, but as Clark walks away, a wry smile creeps across Zod’s face. He walks to the edge of the roof, looks down and throws himself off, but takes flight on the way down and zooms through the Metropolis skyline to end the episode. That’s the last episode for more than a month, as the show won't return until April, so until then…………
- Corruption in housing agencies just seems like a given, regardless of where in the world you live. Be it the United States or abroad, those running housing agencies just seem more prone to corruption and evidence for that theory can be found in the case of Michael Colón, director of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development office based in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Senor Colón has been indicted on 40 counts of corruption, federal prosecutors announced Thursday. Just what could he have possibly done that was so terrible? Umm, apparently instead of spending his time doing the job he was paid to do - supervising 79 employees in the Caribbean, including the Virgin Islands – dude instead spent his time shopping and running errands for his family restaurant. What? The restaurant business is tough and I’m sure the Colón family’s eatery just needed little extra TLC. Sure, Colón was supposed to be overseeing a branch of a major federal agency and that agency’s job is theoretically more important than running a restaurant, but I’m sure no one noticed he was gone. Well, other than the U.S. Attorney’s office in Puerto Rico, that is. "The defendant claimed to have been working, when in truth and in fact he was doing non-work-related errands, including, among other things, shopping at Sam's Club, Costco, and Ralph's Food Warehouse to purchase groceries," said a statement issued by U.S. Attorney Rosa Emilia Rodriguez Velez. Oh, and there’s also the San Juan grand jury that issued the federal indictment against Colón. They didn’t seem to believe him either. The indictment alleges that for more than a year Colón routinely shopped and unloaded the groceries at a restaurant he owned before selling it to his daughter. So what is the penalty for not doing your government job and instead working somewhere else on personal business while on the government’s dime? Well, if convicted, Colón could face up to 20 years in prison and a fine of $250,000. As for me, I’m just flat-out stunned that someone working for a housing agency is corrupt…………
- This may be the most irrelevant and pointless proclamation of all-time. The Minnesota Vikings have decreed that they will not impose any sort of timeline or deadline on perpetually-waffling quarterback/egomaniac Brett Favre when it comes to deciding if he will retire or return for another season. "I'm not going to put him in any box," Vikings coach Brad Childress said Friday at the NFL's annual scouting combine. "Four weeks and change, he's still healing up from that game [the NFC championship]. He's kind of earned that latitude." Thanks for that, B. Like what you say makes one damn bit of difference to the Ol’ Gunslinger. You freaking drove your own car to the airport to pick the guy up last season after he jerkred your entire team around for weeks deciding if he wanted to come back for another ego boost, er, season of the game he loves. You handed him the starting job before he took a single snap in practice for you and from that moment on, Favre officially owned your ass. No team he has ever played for has been able to enforce any sort of deadline for him in his annual game of retirement chicken because the guy a) loves the drama and the attention and b) doesn’t give a rat’s ass about hanging his current team out to dry while he makes his decision. He feels like whenever he damn well gets around to deciding to play, the team should set everything else aside and welcome him in with open arms because he’s the Ol’ Gunslinger. So Childress saying that the team won't impose a deadline on Favre deciding whether to return for a 20th NFL season is as irrelevant as it is ridiculous. We all know how this story goes. Two years ago in March, Favre made a tearful retirement announcement in Green Bay and when he reversed field to come back and feed his ego right before the season, he was infuriated that the Packers had the gall to accept his decision and move forward without him. That led to his acrimonious departure from Green Bay and subsequent trade to the New York Jets. He played on season there and again retired with a torn biceps in his throwing shoulder in February. But when summer rolled around, the Ol’ Attention Whore was itching to play again and Childress prostrated himself at Favre’s feet and gave him whatever he wanted to play for the Vikings. Thankfully, karma came back to bite both men in the ass when the Favre’s moronic interception in the NFC championship game cost the Vikings a shot at the Super Bowl and ended their season. Now, Favre will hold a gun to another team’s head all offseason long, hijack the NFL news cycle all summer long and ultimately decide that his massive ego needs boosted once again. He will return amidst warnings that this will probably be his last season, the Vikings will have a good year and ultimately fall short in the end because Favre will throw another ridiculous interception at the worst possible time and this entire farce will happen all over again a year from now. Good God, I hate Brett Favre…………
- There are a few select things that you want to make absolutely sure to get right in life. Brain surgery, diffusing a bomb, that sort of thing. Well, releasing the correct convicted felon from prison because his or her sentence is up also falls under that heading. I say this for the administration at from the Maryland Correctional Adjustment Center in Baltimore. On Thursday morning, officials at the prison accidentally released the wrong man, thinking he was a different prisoner. Raymond Taylor was freed after a mix-up in which he was able to use another prisoner’s name and identity to flee the prison. Taylor was serving a life sentence for attempted murder and he escaped by……well, I’ll allow Michael Stouffer, commissioner of the Maryland Division of Correction, to take it from here. "Inmate Raymond Taylor reported to the front of the cell and handed the officer the ID card presenting himself as William Johnson," Stouffer said. "The inmate was asked to verbally give his ID number as this officer checked the numbers against the ID card. Taylor recited numbers belonging to inmate Johnson, and the officer removed the inmate from the cell and escorted this inmate to the control center." How did this kind of f*ck-up happen? Well, apparently the two men look somewhat alike, as if that’s an excuse. In a written statement, Division of Correction spokesman Mark Vernarelli said the two inmates have "similar physical characteristics." Yeah, that may well be, but at a former "Supermax" facility that's currently used to house inmates who are awaiting court appearances or moving from one prison to another, you should be able to differentiate between inmates. The prisoner whose identity Taylor escaped with was to be released after serving a two-year sentence. Instead, he got a full day of freedom before being captured in Martinsburg, W. Va. Authorities took him into custody without incident Friday while hiding in a bedroom closet at the home of a friend in Martinsburg. He will be extradited back to Maryland. What’s amazing is that he was wrongly released mid-morning and the mistake wasn’t discovered until about 3:45 p.m. As for Johnson……wow. I know criminals are stupid and that’s a big part of the reason they’re behind bars to begin with, but wow. He was on the verge of being released only to pull something like this and now he has been charged with conspiracy and faces up to 10 years in prison if convicted. People in and between Baltimore and Martinsburg can thank prison officials for allowing a man who was convicted in 2005 of three counts of attempted first-degree murder and related counts, including assault and handgun crimes and is currently service three life sentences to go free in their area for a day. "Initial indications are that proper policy and procedures related to inmate releases were not properly followed," said Felicia Hinton of the Division of Corrections. Hmm, you think? Thanks for the shocking revelation, F. Protocol or no protocol, you need to figure out how to correctly identify inmates. Perhaps do something innovative like assign them numbers or a tactic along those lines…………
- Coups are awesome. They evoke mental images of mustachioed men in poorly lit, poorly ventilated back rooms with exposed pipes, plotting and scheming to overthrow leaders and chomping on smelly cigars while they plot and scheme. Thus, I am a big fan of the alleged "Sledgehammer" coup plot in Turkey. Turkish police may not enjoy the coup quite as much, which is probably why they launched a second wave of raids rounding up military officers tied to the coup. Media outlets within Turkey reported that one retired officer and 17 active duty soldiers were detained in operations conducted on Friday in 13 cities. Dozens of military leaders have been imprisoned or charged as part of "Sledgehammer," an alleged plot concocted by the secular military to plant bombs in mosques to destabilize the country's elected and Islamist-inspired government. It’s a freaking awesome story and you know it’s good when prosecutors refuse to comment on the investigations and arrests. While those allegedly responsible for the coup are rounded up, Turkey's president held crisis talks Thursday with the prime minister and top military general in a futile attempt to diffuse tensions. But when 50 high-ranking active duty and retired military commanders are arrested and accused of a sinister coup against the government, soothing unrest is a fairly impossible task. President Abdullah Gul must face the reality that the country’s military has a long history of dominating Turkish politics and that won't change under his watch. In the last half-century alone, Turkish generals overthrew at least four civilian. That has begun to change, especially in the past eight years since Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan's Justice and Development Party swept to power. Let’s just say the generals aren’t big fans of Erdogan, whose party has its roots in political Islam. Another alleged coup was investigated a year ago, when prosecutors began detaining hundreds of suspects. Critics have ripped the government for that investigation ever since and this new incident certainly won't cause that talk to go away. Gul’s office did release a short statement urging the public to "be confident that the matters on the agenda are going to be resolved within the constitutional order... and everyone will act responsibly to ensure our institutions will not be hurt." Umm, color me unconvinced. Not that I mind all of the chaos and craziness, because those things are what make coups so great in the first place. I’m just saying that expecting a situation like this to settle down quickly in unrealistic and the Turkish government should sit back and enjoy the madness along with the rest of us…………
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