Porsche goes hybrid, home improvement work in outer space and tradition returns to the Cincinnati Bengals

- On the one hand, I completely understand Porsche’s decision to release its first hybrid sports car. After all, the über-rich need to feel like they’re doing their part to not ruin the environment and perhaps more than any other group, they are all about shallow, hollow and empty gestures to that end. If they can “solve” or address a major environmental problem simply by throwing money at it and all the while feeding their own insatiable appetite for more, bigger and better stuff, so much the better. On the other hand, what is more incongruous and more of an oxymoron than trying to help the environment by purchasing a sports care that will probably cost close to six figures? If you really want to help the environment, don’t make Porsches and instead, channel all of that money into funding conservation and renewable energy projects. But Porsche being Porsche, it went ahead and unveiled images late Wednesday of its first hybrid sports car, a track car it plans to officially unveil next month. But in actuality, the car won't be for the general public. It's a race car intended for LeMans endurance racing, although it is based on the same production 911 you can buy today. Porsche does remain "open for discussion" when it comes to a future 911 hybrid for public consumption, a company spokesman said. And who knows, the way things have gone with this first Porsche hybrid, you ever know. As recently as two years ago, Porsche executives believed that a hybrid Porsche sports car was a long shot. The company just wasn’t focused on bringing together hybrids and sports cars even though it has been hard at work on hybrids for its non-sports cars. Hybrid versions of its SUV and new four-door car will be launched soon, but sports cars don’t fuse as well with the hybrid concept because the extra hardware required for a hybrid could cause problems with the weight balance necessary for a sports car. Recent technological advances have made the race car version possible, but the GT3 R hybrid is clearly a car for the professional driver and it will likely stay that way for some time………………

- God bless you, Cincinnati Bengals. Last month, I saluted Bengals linebacker Rey Maualuga for single-handedly looking to jump-start the team’s legacy of idiocy and law-breaking with his arrest on drunken driving charges. Clearly, his sterling example had the desired effect because the team’s front office has taken that example and run with it. First, the team inked troubled wide receiver Matt Jones to a one-year contract. Jones was suspended for the final three games of the 2008 season for violating the league's substance abuse policy after police spotted him in the back seat of a parked car in a remote parking lot in the middle of the night, cutting cocaine with a credit card and snorting it. The Jaguars cut him in March 2009 and now the Bengals are bringing him in to help tear their good image back down. It’s a good signing because the team had a gaping hole at Drug Addict and Jones should fill that position aptly. But the real key signing could come in the days ahead. Yes, the Bengals brought in noted felon and rain-maker Adam "Pacman" Jones on Thursday, Jones' first workout with an NFL team since the Cowboys released him in February 2009. Heck, Jones nearly got into a brawl with some no-name on an episode of Pros vs. Joes during his time away from the NFL, so bringing him to a team with a tradition of knuckleheadedness like the Bengals is a recipe for amazing things from where I sit. And yes, I realize that Bengals coach Marvin Lewis has shown an affinity for providing second chances to players and that he was a big part of the late Chris Henry turning his life around before his tragic death this past fall, but my concern here is not that the brothers Jones (and yes, I realize that one is black and one is white, but work with me, people) turning their lives around. No, my focus is squarely on seeing the Bengals truly embrace the orange that so prominently plays into both their team color scheme and the orange prison jumpsuits that so many former and current Bengals seem intent on wearing multiple times during their lives. True, Pacman Jonea has avoided trouble since his last brush with the law in October 2008, but don’t tell me that those criminal tendencies aren’t lurking just below the surface. You don’t spark a massive strip (or as Pacman calls it, “scrip”) club brawl that leaves one man paralyzed and attempt to use that as a springboard into fulfilling your long-standing desire to be a professional wrestler and forget how to be a thug along the way. He’s been suspended by the NFL multiple times, he’s been in trouble with the law regularly since he arrived at college at West Virginia and he will always be a gangsta to the core. As for Matt Jones, this is a guy whose prodigious athletic ability may actually be surpassed by his love of the Colombian nose candy, so you can count on him to do his part if given the chance. What I’m saying here, y’all, is that the Bengals are on their way back and I could not be prouder………..

- It’s good to see clowns giving back to those in need…..and no, I’m not referring to members of Congress shoveling pork-barrel budget projects back to their home districts, although that is surely heart-warming as well…..in it’s own sick, dysfunctional way. No, I’m actually referring to those freaks at Cirque du Soleil, who are donating several large tents formerly used in their show to Haiti to be used as a temporary headquarters for the Port-au-Prince government. The self-contained tents would replace government buildings destroyed a month ago by the massive earthquake that rocked Haiti, killed at least 200,000 people and left the country in disarray. Nevada real estate developer Tom Schrade, who purchased the tents after Cirque du Soleil retired them (I have no earthly idea why) was watching coverage of the relief effort in Haiti with his wife when she suggested donating them. Now, I’m inclined to think that she made the suggestion partially to help Haiti and mostly because, like any wife, she hates seeing her husband accumulate useless junk that just sits around taking up space, but either way, it’s a nice gesture. "It seemed like a good thing to do," Schrade said. The tents could not be arriving at a better time, as relief workers are rushing to set up shelter for the island’s surviving inhabitants ahead of the rainy season expected to hit at the end of March. At present, most of the government is operating in small tents or cramped quarters in buildings that survived the earthquake. The massive circus tents would provide 33,000 square feet of interior floor space, including heating and air conditioning systems, interior and exterior lighting, toilets and 900 padded chairs. The shipment is so massive that it will take 13 steel shipping containers to hold the 400,000 pounds of cargo. "Even the shipping containers can serve as apartments," Schrade said. Once he had confirmed that the government in Port-au-Price would accept the tents, Schrade contacted Barron Hilton -- the son of Hilton hotel founder Conrad Hilton -- for help in getting them from storage in Reno, Nevada, to Haiti. The Conrad Hilton Foundation is actively involved in the Haiti relief effort and agreed to finance the shipment with logistical assistance from the William J. Clinton Foundation, former President Bill Clinton’s nonprofit organization. A convoy of trucks left Reno Monday night with the tents and this coming week, the Clinton Foundation will coordinate the second part of their journey, from Miami to Port-au-Prince by boat. Schrade has hired technicians to oversee the tents’ setup on the ground in Port-au-Price, after which the government will hopefully have a much better home out of which to operate as it seeks to rebuild its devastated nation……….

- Build it while you can, NASA, Improve the international space station now because the Obama administration is slashing funding four outer-space projects and pretty soon, you all are going to be envious of Iran’s opulent space program that consists of launching turtles, worms and mice into the stratosphere. That grim financial future may be bearing down on NASA, but in the meantime, astronauts from the space shuttle Endeavour completed their spacewalk outside the international space station early Friday. In the first of three scheduled spacewalks for their two-week mission, astronauts Bob Behnken and Nicholas Patrick did a little home-improvement work, installing the new Tranquility node and a seven-windowed cupola onto the Unity node of the international space station. Doing a little handiwork while in outer space is always a fun chore and while the property tax assessment on these additions could further cripple NASA (just kidding, the IRS hasn’t figured out a way to tax this sort of thing - yet), the additions should benefit all astronauts who use the space station. The hatch into the new addition of the station is scheduled to be opened for the first time at around 9:15 p.m. Friday. For Behnken, it was his fourth spacewalk, giving him some 25 hours outside the shuttle and space station. Three other crew members assisted Behnken and Patrick from inside the space station, which is now about 90 percent complete after these renovations. With funding for NASA destined to drop precipitously in the years ahead, who knows if or when the remaining 10 percent of the work will get done………

- If you’ve visited New York City over the past year (which I am happy to say I have done), then you may have unknowingly been part of an experiment that has drastically affected traffic patterns and pedestrian traffic in and around the Times Square area. Nearly one year ago, Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s office announced an experiment that would re-design traffic patterns around the famed tourist area, creating pedestrian malls along several blocks of Broadway right in the heart of one of the city's most crowded spots. The experiment has apparently been a success, because on Thursday, Bloomberg announced that the experiment will become permanent. In an area known for congestion, both vehicular and pedestrian, the experiment has brought some new ideas in the area of urban development. New York City has spent millions of dollars in beautifying the malls, including the construction of plazas, setting up red chairs and hiring employees to maintain the area. As part of the experiment, the Department of Transportation conducted nearly 5,700 test runs and concluded that the experiment has resulted in increased congestion in other areas of the city. In other words, traffic has merely been relocated and the problems haven’t gone away. But even though it has not speed up the flow of traffic, Bloomberg cited data from GPS devices in taxi cabs which indicates a reduction in travel time, along with a decrease in pedestrian injuries and congestion in the area. Less quantifiable data comes from merchants and tourists, many of whom have given positive feedback about the project. Their opinions count because Times Square is one of the most popular tourist spots in the world and the revenue it generates for the city is significant. Heck, the money people spend when they come to see the ball drop on New Year’s Eve alone is significant, so taking steps to improve the experience of a Square visit is always a good idea. To that end, the city plans to spend additional millions in further developing and beautifying the area. Next time you are fortunate enough to find yourself in Manhattan, take a few minutes to see the results of these efforts in person…………