Beer theft + cop drag, the "Love Actually" (sort of) sequel and the MLB spring training bizarro injury parade

- Let the parade begin. Major League Baseball has kicked off spring training and that means it’s time for to cavalcade of bizarre baseball injuries in which world-class athletes who can throw balls 101 mph and hit said balls 450 feet over the fence are taken down and out of action by everyday items and tasks that the rest of us handle without a second thought every damn day. There will be injuries by common household appliance, articles of clothing, household chores, pets, writing utensils and, apparently, barn roofs. In fact, barn roof is the first entry on the list after Kansas City Royals reliever Brian Flynn suffered a broken rib and three minor vertebrae fractures in his back after falling through the roof of his barn while he was working on it. The valuable reliever, who made 36 appearances last year and finished 2016 with a 1-2 record and 2.60 ERA, was up on the roof top and judging by what happened next, he was probably attempting to strengthen it because with a couple hundred pounds of pressure on it, that roof caved in like the Cleveland Indians bullpen in Game 6 of the World Series, giving way and sending Flynn tumbling to the ground a couple stories below. The injured pitcher is expected to be out eight weeks, according to the team, during which time he should be able to find the number for an excellent handyman who can come out with the proper equipment and safety gear and fix the roof of his barn so Flynn can recuperate and get back to performing athletic feats of which the rest of us can only dream of doing…….

- People love Lisbon. Or is it lesbians? Probably both, but only the first one is causing the government in Portugal’s capital city to adapt a military airport for commercial flights in an effort to ease the burden on the capital's sole international airport. According to the government, it plans to overhaul the little-used Montijo air base on the south side of the River Tagus because the city’s main airport is nearing its capacity of 22 million passengers a year. For a country that has had a litany of fiscal problems and dealt with über-unpopular austerity measures for months now, the news that tourists are a-flockin’ to its gorgeous cities and southern Algarve region is great to hear. The number of visitors hitting up Lisbon grew by more than 8 percent last year, after a 5 percent increase in 2015,  so there is clearly a need for more space to land their flights and thus, the modification work, which requires approval from environmental authorities and is expected to cost up to 400 million euros ($422 million). Flying into Montijo will either a) be a huge hassle for travelers or b) add a new dimension to their Portuguese adventure by compelling them to either travel eight miles by ferry or 20 miles by road to reach the city limits of Lisbon. As with any government building project, this one won’t happen quickly and officials hope the new airport will be operational by 2022…….

- It’s an abbreviated sequel, but a sequel nonetheless. According to director Richard Curtis, there will be a sequel to his popular film, albeit a 10-minute one in support of Comic Relief. The aptly titled “Red Nose Day Actually will air on March 24 – Red Nose Day – and in an interactive twist, fans may be able to decide what happens to some of their favorite characters. Curtis’ screenwriting partner, Emma Freud, revealed on Twitter that the script for the short film is still being written and she invited followers to weigh in on what they’d like to see transpire on screen. “I would never have dreamt of writing a sequel to Love Actually, but I thought it might be fun to do 10 minutes to see what everyone is now up to. We hope to make something that’ll be fun – very much in the spirit of the original film and of Red Nose Day,” Curtis said. “It’ll certainly be a nostalgic moment getting back together.” There were plenty of famous and famous-to-be faces in the 2003 original film and some of those big names are reportedly in line to make a return in the limited screen time to be offered by this short sequel, including Keira Knightley, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Andrew Lincoln and Rowan Atkinson. Given that many involved with the first film were adamant that there would never, ever happen, even a knock-off, truncated take on a sequel is something at this point…….

- As always, at least there’s a good reason a police officer was dragged the length of one and a half football fields and risked serious injury and maybe even death. This time, it was so a shoplifter could get away with $190 worth of beer he pilfered from a local convenience store. The suspect is accused of shoplifting after a Best Market employee saw a man and woman leave with $190 worth of beer and reported the alleged theft to police. An officer responded to the scene and pursued Joshua Coonradt, who fled before the long arm of the law could reach the store. He was spotted fleeing in a green Honda Civic before the cops arrived and when police later saw the car traveling east towards Wethersfield, an officer pulled Coonradt over. As the officer approached the suspect’s car, he saw Coonradt reaching for a handgun on the dashboard and the fast-reacting cop reached into the vehicle, setting off a struggle as he and the suspect grappled for the gun. Eventually, Coonradt decided his best option was to simply drive away, dragging the officer beside the car until he could finally free himself. In a fortunate twist for both suspect and officer, the cop wasn’t seriously injured, but had he been, those charges against Coonradt could have been upgraded. Police eventually found the Civic and were able to arrest the suspect’s companion, Sandra Weeks, who told them Coonradt often went to a particular spot in Hartford to buy crack and typically slept in his car nearby. Weeks was charged with sixth-degree larceny and released on a $5,000 bail as police continued their search for a beer-thieving crack head who sleeps in his car and is now roaming free on the mean streets of Newington, about eight miles south of downtown Hartford………

Spraypaint v. slavery, "American Horror Story" gets a Clinton fix and Alabama has a new footbal felon

- That’s not the way to reverse your downward trajectory on Nick Saban’s depth chart, Alabama offensive lineman Lester Cotton. Cotton, who is a former top recruit nationally, began the 2016 season as the starting left guard, was moved to right guard for three games and was so poor that toward the end of the season, he moved to right tackle where he backed up true freshman Jonah Williams. For a guy who’s not getting it done on the field, best not to get arrested over the weekend and charged with second-degree possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. That’s how Cotton rolls and according to Tuscaloosa police, he was rolling in his ride late at night when he was pulled over in a traffic stop where the officer searched the vehicle after detecting the odor of marijuana emitting from inside the vehicle. Saban, fresh off getting smacked by Clemson in the national championship game, was probably not happy when he got news that his program was in the headlines thanks to the criminal actions of a second-string offensive lineman. "We are in the process of determining the facts in the situation with Lester Cotton," Saban said in a statement. "We will discipline internally like we have done in the past." The arrest continues a string of embarrassing off-field incidents over the past year for the program, although Cotton is the first Alabama player arrested this offseason. Alabama has a ways to go to match last offseason, when Cam Robinson, Laurence "Hootie" Jones and Alphonse Taylor were all arrested, but someone’s got to get the part started and Cotton is clearly that guy…….

- Look at you, flexing and muscling up, Montenegro. You have no chance of actually backing down any of the people you’re looking to take on, but credit for having a pair and trying to swing them around to much effect. The tiny Balkan state’s prime minister has boldly informed Russia and its allies within its own borders to stop opposing its NATO bid. Russia takes very well to smaller nations that were once part of its Soviet bloc telling it how to do business, so this should go over very well. Prime Minister Dusko Markovic courageously demanded that those who want to destabilize the country by meddling into its affairs "should keep their hands off Montenegro,” which should have gone without saying because no one - but no one - gets handsy with Montenegro. His comments came not long after opposition pro-Russian parties denounced a call by Montenegro's special prosecutor urging the national assembly to lift the immunity of two senior opposition leaders allegedly involved in a pro-Russian plot to overthrow the government over its NATO bid, so this situation is clearly lit. So far, about 20 people — including two Russian citizens — have been suspected of participating in the October plot that allegedly included plans to kill a then-prime minister and take over power to prevent Montenegro from joining NATO, preferring to remain in the world of communism, gulags and Vlad Putin subservience. Those governing the country would prefer to at least try to move forward and become a bigger part of the global community……..

- Oh good, because the American people can never have enough of their Clinton fix. The producers of “American Crime Story” know it and that’s why the fourth season of the popular cable series will tell the story of the infamous Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton sex scandal. The show has pulled from this general period in history before, as the first season, “The People v. O. J. Simpson,” told the story of (alleged/probable) double murderer O.J. Simpson and how he was able to get over on the American legal system despite (almost certainly) offing his ex-wife and her new boyfriend, running last year to critical acclaim and winning critical acclaim and winning nine Emmys including acting honors for Sterling K. Brown, Sarah Paulson and Courtney B. Vance. The next edition will be based on Jeffrey Toobin’s book, “A Vast Conspiracy: The Real Sex Scandal That Nearly Brought Down A President,” and AHS favorite Sarah Paulson has already been cast in an unknown role. “Sarah will be in it but she won’t be playing Hillary [Clinton]. That’s earmarked for talks with somebody else,” series co-creator Ryan Murphy said. “We’re casting that now. I can’t say what Sarah is playing, but it starts shooting at the end of this year.” Season 2, which begins filming in a few weeks, will focus on the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and be based on “The Great Deluge: Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans, and the Mississippi Gulf Coast,” with Annette Bening cast as Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco. The third season will debut next year and it’s story will be the infamous 1997 murder of fashion designer Gianni Versace on the steps of his Miami mansion……

- It’s awfully easy to attack hypocritical, philosophically jacked-up American icon when he’s cast in stone and unable to fight back. That goes out to whichever bored, disruptive student at William & Mary University in Williamsburg, Virginia who had both free time and a few dollars to buy a can of spray paint, so he or she decided to deface a Thomas Jefferson statue at the school by painting the hands red and scrawling the words "slave owner" nearby. University spokeswoman Suzanne Seurattan said the school is investigating the defacement of the monument and also determining how to remove the paint without leaving damage. Clearly, whoever did this graffiti hatchet job hasn’t had a lot of experience tagging walls, statues and the like because if they had, the painting would have been done on a much higher level. It’s also clear that the culprit was looking to make a point about Jefferson’s hands being stained with the blood of the slaves he owned despite helping establish a nation that was supposedly built on the idea of freedom. Having said that, maybe attack some of the ass hats and ignoramuses who are currently alive and is still actively involved in heinous activities such as human trafficking or sexual slavery despite the fact that WE’RE 17 YEARS INTO THE 21ST CENTURY. But never mind confronting those people, not when you can hit up the local Walmart, grab a can of Krylon and go to town on a stone representation of an American leader who’s been dead and gone for a couple of centuries and change……..

Schwarzenegger + DC Universe, Albania's undersea magic and boxing matches in court

- The results of boxing matches aren't usually decided in a federal courtroom. Technically, the bout between Russian heavyweight contender Alexander Povetkin and heavyweight world titleholder Deontay Wilder wasn’t, but the important part of the fight came down to the judges’ scorecards - just not the judges seated ringside. No, the judges for this bout, which never actually happened, were ones in the jury box in U.S. federal court in New York. That jury took just 32 minutes to reach a verdict finding that Povetkin used the performance-enhancing drug during the leadup to what was supposed to be a mandatory fight against Wilder last May in Moscow, but the fight was canceled nine days before the fight when a Voluntary Anti-Doping Association-conducted test found that Povetkin had meldonium in his system. Meldonium was banned by the World Anti-Doping Agency on Jan. 1, 2016, and after the bout was canceled, Wilder and promoter Lou DiBella sued Povetkin and Russian promoter Andrey Ryabinsky of World of Boxing in U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York for breach of contract and at least $5 million in damages. Ryabinsky countersued them in the same court for breach of contract and defamation on the grounds that they unilaterally canceled the fight before the WBC made its decision, resulting in a three-day trial that the jury handled quickly and ended by handing Wilder millions in damages. Now that this has been settled - pending appeals - here’s hoping that these two actually get into a ring together at some point, because that should be a rather contentious affair…….. 

- Come to Albania….and see what we have under our waters. Truth be told, there aren't a lot of big draws to visit the hard-to-find Eastern European nation unless your Liam Neeson/Brian Mills, doing battle with the human traffickers who abducted your daughter, tortured you and your wife and played stereotypically ridiculous action movie bad guys in the “Taken” franchise. But Albania is hoping to chance that view by promoting the archaeological finds in the waters off its southwest coast as a means of a) attracting tourism and b) getting support from power players in the archaeology world who can help preserve the discoveries. The effort is being spearheaded by the Albanian National Coastline Agency, which has opened an exhibition of 30 pictures showing underwater finds of potential archaeological significance from the last decade. It’s always good to have a nonprofit like the RPM Nautical Foundation involved, mapping Albania's coast from Saranda to Vlora, because folks tend to be nicer to those who aren't out to make money off something. National coastline agency head Auron Tare claimed the scan found 38 shipwrecks, six of them more than 2,000 year old and noted that these deceased ships and artifacts "show ancient Illyria (Albania's predecessor) was a commercial pass rather than a pirates' place." Buzzzzzzz! Wrong answer, A. People love pirates and if you really want to draw in the tourists, you need to play up the swashbuckling angle and sell eye patches to go with every tour, matey…….

- This would never happen in Texas. In the Lone Star State, a sheriff wouldn’t be stopped and de-weaponed when entering a hockey arena. But in Washington, Spokane County Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich was about to enter Spokane Arena to promote a charity hockey game when he was forechecked by arena security, who told him that even though he was on duty, he had to surrender his gun before he could enter. “This is bureaucracy and bureaucrats run wild. I’ve never seen anything quite like this,” Knezovich said. “It makes zero sense.” According to Knezovich, arena security told him that he would have to take off the gun and leave it outside due to an arena policy, as outlined by the arena’s website, which list the very general category of weapons as some of the prohibited items inside the facility. “I can understand if we are off duty, if there’s liquor being sold there, I can understand that. But when you are on duty and representing the county at an event, I’ve just never heard anything like this,” Knezovich fumed. He removed his gun because he was in a hurry and had to get inside, but it’s clear he has a major beef with folks such as Kevin Twohig, the executive director of the public facilities district that runs the arena. Twohig, who probably should obey all traffic rules to the nth degree for the near future, had the audacity to suggest that just because the sheriff wasn’t in full uniform, arena security had no way - no Google access? - to know if the sheriff really was law enforcement. Sounds like the arena will not any time soon be host to the gun show……..

- Here’s a shocker….Arnold Schwarzenegger may be set to return to the world of comic book hero-based movies. Yes, the man with limited command of the English language and an even more limited acting range is reportedly being considered for a role in the upcoming Wonder Woman film, a part that would represent a return to the DC Comics movie universe for the 38th governor of California, who last occupied DC real estate when he played super villain Mr. Freeze – who also goes by the name Dr. Victor Fries – in the gawd-awful 1997, Tim Burton-directed film “Batman & Robin,” which starred George Clooney one of the very worst Batman versions of all-time. It also included Chris O’Donnell as his sidekick, Robin, in a movie that we’d all like to wash from our collective cinematic memories. Schwarzenegger may be in line for a small role in “Wonder Woman,” which will hit theaters this June. The current rumor is that Schwarzenegger may only “appear” as the voice of a CGI version of the villain he played in the franchise before. The pieces of evidence for this one are the fact that Schwarzenegger was followed on Twitter recently by Wonder Woman director Patty Jenkins and DC Film chief Geoff Johns and other circumstantial nonsense, but Schwarzenegger is fairly free these days when he’s not getting Donald Trump’s reality TV sloppy seconds……..

Fans in huddles, naps in dumpsters and "Bill & Ted's" not-excellent sequel

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- There’s never a better time to drop news about a long-awaited (and probably unnecessary) new movie you’re working on than when you’re out promoting your current project, eh Keanu Reeves? Reeves was out and about pimping “John Wick: Chapter 2,” which opened last week, when he was asked about a film that hasn’t exactly been on the tip of anyone’s tongue in a long time, a potential sequel to one of his earliest movies, “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.” A few rumors about a sequel cropped up last year, but nothing became of them, but Reeves believes that it’s only a matter of time before that sequel happens. “Bill and Ted are still alive. The writers have a story and we’re trying to make it,” he said. “Basically, they’re (Bill and Ted) supposed to write a song to save the world and they haven’t done that. The pressure of having to save the world, their marriages are falling apart, their kids are kind of mad at them, and then someone comes from the future and tells them if they don’t write the song it’s just not the world, it’s the universe. So they have to save the universe because time is breaking apart.” Here’s hoping more historical icons like Napoleon, Abe Lincoln and Mozart can make it back for this one because they made the original a cult favorite and if Joan of Arc can also make it, perhaps fans can get over how depressing it is that Bill and Ted went from high school stoners to middle-aged dudes with families and mortgages. Or we could just forget this whole sequel idea and all pretend it never happened and that the first “Bill & Ted” is the one and only edition of this franchise…….

- Maybe wait until after you score your big political win to start throwing your weight around, Dutch populist Geert Wilders. Wilders isn't willing to postpone his grandstanding and that’s why he’s out ahead of things, declaring that mainstream politicians in the Netherlands will have to work with his Party for Freedom if voters throw a significant amount of support behind his xenophobic, ultra-nationalist/anti-immigration, anti-European Union platform in the country's upcoming election. In the world according to Wilders, those mainstream officials must respect the vote if it goes his way or else, prepare for what he deemed a peaceful backlash that sounds extremely boring if it plays out the way he described it. In polls, which last year’s American presidential election showed are a shaky tool at best, Wilders' Party for Freedom is strongly ahead in the March 15 election for the lower house of parliament, but even so, mainstream parties have staunchly ruled out working in a coalition government with him. In the wacky world of European politics, that means it would be exceptionally difficult for the party to form a government, as the Dutch electoral system all but guarantees coalitions. "If voters make the PVV really big — I'm not talking about two or three extra seats, but really big ... they will have to,” Wilders said of collaborating with his outfit……..

- Basketball is the sort of sport whose action can often inspire fans to get up out of their seat in excitement….but it’s not really a participant-level excitement for those seated in the stands. Someone should have relayed that vital message to Randall Bolton, a fan who was tackled and arrested after running on the court and entering Miami's huddle during the first half of the team's 71-66 loss at No. 4 Louisville. Maybe Bolton was really excited that the Hurricanes were leading 26-16 during a timeout with 7:59 remaining in the half or maybe he was a) drunk or b) mentally unstable, but either way, he pushed his way between the Ladybirds dancers and near Miami players as they circled on the court at the KFC Yum! Center. According to local police, Bolton had been warned to not go on the floor, but it wasn’t clear what prompted that warning. Either way, it was an unnerving situation for those involved. "There was a little bit of a commotion in our huddle," coach Jim Larranaga said, "and I glanced up, and there was someone, I believe, in red, and we don't normally wear red. I had asked the coach, and they just said it was some fan." Multiple Louisville Metro Police Department officers corralled the evasive Bolton and one tripped him before others subdued him near midcourt. He was summarily hauled off the court and the Cardinals rallied, perhaps inspired by the enthusiasm of their disruptive fan, for a big win………

- What has the world come to when a man can't take a nice, long nap inside a dumpster without fearing that his life could be put in jeopardy? This planet is a scary place and nowhere more so for the dumpster-napping segment of this crazy spinning planet of ours than Scottsdale, Arizona, where a man was rescued after being trapped inside a garbage truck for over 10 miles after the trash repository in which he was napping it out before the driver of the truck inexplicably decided to pick up and empty the contents of said dumpster into the back of his rig without bothering to knock on the door of the dumpster and make sure no one was catching some quality pillow time inside. According to the Scottsdale Fire Department, the unidentified man in the dumpster was rescued after the garbage truck driver heard screaming. Police believe the man was sleeping inside a dumpster when the truck emptied it, but they didn’t know exactly how he came to be in that particular dumpster. The man was transported to a nearby hospital for observation after reportedly suffering a head injury after paramedics treated him initially near 68th Street and Camelback Road. At least at the poor guy got a free ride to the hospital and hopefully found comfortable place to nap it out for a while before he was thrown back out into this cruel, cruel world…….

Firefighter/drug dealer mayhem, Father John Misty backs the 'Hack and the Knicks are f*cked

- And that’s why the New York Knicks will continue to suck for a long, long time. They have a terrible, clueless owner and that terrible clueless owner is fully committed to the inept, egomaniacal team president he’s entrusted to run his franchise. In other words, Knicks owner James Dolan plans to honor the deal he inked with Big Chief Triangle, a.k.a. Knicks president Phil Jackson, by allowing Jackson to finish his five-year contract if he chooses and not meddle in any player personnel affairs. "Three years ago, I signed a contract with Phil Jackson," Dolan said. "The man who has more championship rings as far as I know than anybody else. He was the best guy we thought we could find to run the New York Knicks. And I made an agreement with him. Dolan could in some situations be construed as a smart owner doing the right thing by not meddling with his team, but has he looked at the Knicks lately? They’ve lost 20 of 26 games to fall out of the playoffs race in the weak Eastern Conference, their roster is a dumpster fire and Jackson has made one good move - drafting Kristaps Porzingis - since arriving in Manhattan. Yet Dolan wants to sit back and allow Jackson and general manager Steve Mills to keep doing what they’re doing without any input? Dolan has no clue how to run his franchise or how to construct an NBA team, but that simply means he’s on an even level with Jackson in terms of getting the Knicks to championship status. The only hope here is that Jackson exercises the opt-out clause in his contract and allows Dolan to hire someone competent to run his team, but given that he’s banking $12 million a year to run the Knicks terribly, don’t look for that to happen……….

- Organized crime in Italy ain’t what it used to be. Images of mobsters carrying guns and enforcing their will on anyone who stands in their way aren’t the whole picture these days and that’s why police in Sicily have confiscated four olive companies, farmland, villas and other property that anti-Mafia prosecutors contend belong to the business empire of Italy's top Mafia boss, who has been on the run for more than 20 years. Seizing the assets of a mob boss on the run is a way to try to squeeze said mob boss by cutting off access he might need to the capital that could keep him well-supplied while on the lam. The assets were confiscated in the western part of the island considered to be Matteo Messina Denaro's power base, with an estimated worth of 13 million euros ($14 million). Denaro, a convicted Cosa Nostra mobster, is Italy's most-wanted fugitive and has been for a couple of decades now. According to prosecutors, the olive businesses and 108 other properties, plus vehicles and bank accounts, were listed in the names of accomplices to hide their actual ownership by Denaro. Maybe Denaro is a munificent mob boss who gives olive businesses and expensive vehicles to his underlings to reward them for their loyalty. It’s estimated that Italy's various mafias earn billions annually in agriculture, going to far as to use their muscle to compel grocers to sell mobster-produced mozzarella or other products. It’s quite a racket and now prosecutors will have to see if that noose is tightened up enough to snag Denaro………

- He’s the bad boy of indie rock, as much as a hipster icon can be a bad boy, but even for Father John Misty, this is several steps too far. FJM, also known as Joshua Tillman, is coming out strong in support of Nickelhack, Chad Kroeger and his band of Canadian musical manglers. Tillman was moved to speak after learning about recent events in which Chainsmokers were referred to as ‘The Nickelback of EDM,” an apt description that inspired the two bands to respond by covering each others’ terrible music. “I will ride for Nickelback, OK?” Tillman said. “Because this whole Chainsmokers thing I read about recently, when I was wasting time on the Internet, and someone wrote some article about how horrible Nickelback is or something. ‘How You Remind Me’… That’s a fucking great song. Have you heard that song? It’s great.” Oh, we’ve all heard it and we wish we could unhear that three-minute span of arena rock drivel. When asked why he likes that particular song, Tillman admitted, “I don’t know,” which isn't exactly a staunch defense of anything. In the end, Tillman is adamant about one thing and that’s his unwavering support of the ‘Hack. “But I will ride for Nickelback – I want that on the record. ‘Farmer John Misery – I ride for Nickelback.’” Oh, it’s on the record and for that comment, a lot of people may not want to buy Tillman’s next record……..

- Being a firefighter is a stressful job. It also doesn’t pay as well as it should given the amount of danger involved on a regular basis…so maybe that’s why a firefighter in Norwalk, Connecticut was arrested for peddling cocaine while on duty. Local police had the distinct experience of arresting one of their fellow first responders, Mark Monroe, after executing four arrest and three search warrants. Investigators had been looking into Malone for several months before his arrest and they were finally able to move on him after he sold three packages of cocaine to an undercover officer, one of five times he allegedly sold blow to the officer, including two that happened while he was on duty with the Norwalk Fire Department, police said. Detectives claim Monroe would direct the undercover officer to the lot of the Volk Central Fire Station on Connecticut Avenue and carry out the transactions there, while he did other deals in store parking lots on New Canaan and West avenues. When they carried out a search warrant at Monroe's home, police recovered five more bags of cocaine weighing 12.35 grams, along with illegal prescription pills and suspected steroids, with a side dish of 300 hypodermic needles. There were more pills and cocaine found in his vehicle and the piece de resistance was a gun found to be stored in a dresser within reach of a child. All in all, Monroe faces multiple drug charges and a charge of risk of injury to a minor and failing to responsibly store a firearm. Not the proudest moment for all of the brave men and women out there who spends their days and nights saving lives, putting out fires and rescuing those in need of assistance……..

Gropey Munchkins, Mississippi wants a firing squad and senseless soccer stampedes

- There are few professions a city can less afford to have go on strike than John Q. Law. When there are no police officers to keep order, people tend to do whatever the hell they want and anarchy reigns. Such is life for authorities in the Brazilian state of Espirito Santo, who have threatened striking police officers with criminal charges as the federal government sends in more troops in a bid to end a week of madness and mayhem that has left more than 120 people dead. Espirito Santo is one of several Brazilian states trying to find answers for a growing budget crisis that is hampering essential public services for millions of citizen and police in Espirito Santo have apparently decided that if they don’t get paid, they don’t protect or serve and therefore, they’ve created a security vacuum and led to rampant assaults, heists and looting, often in broad daylight. Such issued caused limited protests by police in nearby Rio de Janeiro, where terrified residents of the packed city of 12 million people already deal with certain regions of their town where even paid police officers refuse to go due to constant violence between rival drug gangs. According to a spokesman for the local police union in Espirito Santo, the death toll from a week of chaos has risen to 122 and while police claim that many of the dead are believed to come from rival criminal gangs, this isn’t really the preferred method of thinning the criminal herd………

- Soccer fan, keep being yourself, keep senselessly killing people for no good reason and never, ever use your brain to do basic reasoning for even a single second. Keep doing things like stampeding the gate at a stadium before a league match in Angola, leaving at least 17 people dead and dozens injured and leaving the friends and families of those you killed asking why their loved ones had to die just for trying to attend a match. This ugly incident happened in the northwestern town of Uige when hundreds of people rushed at one of the stadium gates, creating a pile of humanity that caused some people to fall and be trampled underfoot. Ernesto Luis, director general of a local hospital, confirmed that there were 76 casualties, of whom 17 died, among them some children. President Jose Eduardo dos Santos has instructed officials to assist the injured and to open an investigation, but at this point, finding the right person to point the finger at is going to a) be very difficult and b) do nothing to bring back those who senselessly lost their lives simply for going to the stadium to watch the inaugural game between home team Santa Rita de Cassia and Recreativo de Libolo in the national Girabola competition. Nothing says decency and respect for your fellow man as he or she lies dying on the ground in order to get the best seat at the big game…….

- The South has never been shy about its love of guns. For that reason, it should surprise no one that Mississippi lawmakers want to bring back the firing squad, electric chair and gas chamber as execution methods, following in the steps of three other states that have gone gun-ho (pun intended) for different reasons. Oklahoma reintroduced the gas chamber, Utah the firing squad and Tennessee the electric chair, all due to a nationwide scarcity of lethal injection drugs for death row inmates on account of those drugs being produced in European countries that do not believe in the death penalty. That’s not the issue at hand for Mississippi, where legislator Andy Gipson said he introduced House Bill 638 in response to lawsuits filed by “liberal, left-wing radicals” challenging the use of lethal injection drugs as cruel and unusual punishment. "I have a constituent whose daughter was raped and killed by a serial killer over 25 years ago, and that person's still waiting for the death penalty. The family is still waiting for justice," Gipson said. Gipson’s bill passed the House, 74-43, and has moved to the Senate for more debate.  Mississippi has had trouble obtaining the execution drugs it once used and hasn’t sent an individual shuffling off this mortal coil forcibly since 2012 and with 47 people on death row - including some who have been there for decades - Mississippi needs to find, or create, ways to make their legally mandated demise a reality……..

- It takes a lot of chutzpah to malign the character of little people, especially years after their demise. The ex-husband of the late acting icon Judy Garland has just that level of kahones, claiming that his then-teenage wife was groped on the set of “The Wizard of Oz” by a number of the actors who played Munchkins in the film. The film, adapted from L. Frank Baum’s novella, was released in 1939 and starred Garland in the lead role as Dorothy, directed by Victor Fleming. It’s largely considered to be the iconic cinematic adaptation of the story, but it apparently came with a lot of bad memories for Sid Luft, who was Garland’s third husband, holding that role from 1952 to 1965. Granted, Luft himself has been dead since 2005, but he reached out from beyond the grave to mock the Munchkins in his memoirs, “Judy and I: My Life with Judy Garland,” was just dropped. In the book, Luft alleged that the actors who played the Munchkins got a little too handsy during filming. “They would make Judy’s life miserable on set by putting their hands under her dress,” Luft wrote. “The men were 40 or more years old. They thought they could get away with anything because they were so small.” Yes, who would ever notice those tiny hands intruding into places they shouldn’t be? This isn't the first time someone from Garland’s camp has bashed the actors in Munchkin suits, as the actress, who died in 1969, denounced the actors as “little drunks… [who] got smashed every night. They [the producers] picked them up in butterfly nets.” Yes, but if you play “Dark Side of the Moon” on vinyl backwards with the movie, it still provides an awesome soundtrack to which you can watch the (allegedly) gropey Munchkins do their thing……..

Drugs at the drive thru, casting the new Doctor Who and Paris gets a glassy makeover

- The Saint Louis University’s men’s basketball team suffered two losses in a single night. First, the Billikens lost 70-55 at St. Bonaventure and then, they discovered that they had also lost their team bus with many of their personal possessions. When players and coaches exited the arena after the game and went looking for their bus, it was nowhere to be found. That’s because their lush of a bus driver, Linda Edmister, had taken the bus 40 miles away to Randolph, New York, where apparently got liquored up at a local watering hole and was subsequently arrested on a charge of driving while intoxicated, according to New York State Police Trooper James O'Callaghan. The Gasport, New York resident went H.A.M. at the bar, allowing her to register a 0.22 blood alcohol content, which is more than five times above the legal limit of 0.04 for New York drivers with commercial licenses. Put someone that drunk together with a vehicle that large and the results could be disastrous. In this case, it was merely a college basketball team being forced to sit around a well-maintained arena waiting for a ride to the airport. Once Edmister was arrested, the bus was returned to the St. Bonaventure campus, where players and coaches were able to retrieve their personal items before taking a new bus - with a sober, non-criminal driver - to the airport. Edmister did not resist arrest and was transported to a jail in Cattaraugus County, New York, during which time the bus company probably wasted no time launching termination proceedings. Oh, and police were able to track the bus because this drunk went on a booze run with a vehicle containing a litany of GPS-equipped items on board…….

- Paris is all about style. Even the city’s most popular tourist attractions have to look their best at all times and that’s why city officials want to replace the metal security fencing around the Eiffel Tower a much more aesthetically pleasing glass wall. Paris City Hall issued a statement laying out the plans to install see-through panels to replace the existing fences at the north and south of the famed monument that were installed for the Euro 2016 soccer event. Installing new barriers is always wise when Europe is sending tens of thousands of its best and brightest soccer hooligans to your town, but the barriers don’t have great visual appeal. This new proposal will be examined by the city's sites commission and will then require  approval from the environment ministry. The first public comments on the plan came from Paris tourism chief Jean-Francois Martins who practically pointed out that the glass would serve as an aesthetic upgrade from the metal fencing, which was "useful in security matters" but "spoils the view." This is actually just one small component of a larger, $3.2 million project announced in January to modernize the 128-year-old tower. As with all plans to change the appearance of world-famous historic landmarks, this one will take some time to carry out and as of now, no timetable has been set for the possible work……..

- When a choice role like Doctor Who is up for grabs, some quality candidates should come calling. With Peter Capaldi announced last month that he would be leaving the show, there is an opening for the title role and already, Danny Dyer has expressed an interest in playing Doctor Who once Capaldi exits stage left. Fans have speculated on all sorts of potential replacements for Capaldi, some even suggesting a female doctor, such as Tilda Swinton. Dyer’s name has also been tossed into the mix and now, the “Eastenders” actor has said that he would interested in playing the 13th doctor in series history. “I’d be interested in it. I could see myself in the scarf and all that,” Dyer said. “I think I could do it easy. I’d keep my accent too.” To get the role, he’s going to have to beat out rivals such as Paul McGann, Ben Whishaw, Richard Ayoade, Matt Lucas and Olivia Colman. Capaldi appears to be exiting the show on good terms and said shortly after announcing his departure from the show that one of the “greatest privileges” of working on Doctor Who had been the exposure he’d received from “the world at its best.” The remarkable string of different actors to fill the main role in an extremely popular show makes “Doctor Who”  an anomaly among successful television shows and casting the right actor this time around could breathe new life into the series…….

- There are plenty of hazardous materials contained inside food served at your average local McDonald’s restaurant. Insanely high levels of cholesterol, massive quantities of fat, food-like substances of varying qualities….but usually not drugs. That glaring exception only exists in a few select places, such as the McDonald's in the 800 block of Hurst Street in Center, Tex. That’s where a local went through the drive thru to purchase a Happy Meal for their 9-year-old child, only to leave the property with a little something extra to go with the cheap, foreign-made plastic toy and food inside. According to local police, after pulling away from the restaurant, the family found two prescription Tramadol pills in the child’s meal and for some odd reason, they went back to McDonald’s and also contacted police. It took the long arm of the law a full month to determine the origin of the pills, after which detectives confirmed that two suspects, Omeisha Williams and Artshia Radway of Center, were responsible for the Tramadol pills being placed into the meal. Not that McDonald’s is known for drawing in the best of the best to work in its kitchen, but these two clearly didn’t read the employee handbook and the pages about trying to drug children before they can enjoy their tiny cheeseburger and small bag of fries. The state health inspector was called in to examine the restaurant near the end of the investigation and a week later, a judge issued arrest warrants for Williams and Radway on charges of abandonment or endangerment of a child. Williams was arrested, but Radway has so far proven better at evading police than she is at keeping tabs on her prescription drugs and remains at large. All in all, quite an effort by these two women……..

Brazil beefs with Canada, Shaun White chases more Olympic glory and Radiohead to rock the Promised Land

- What could possibly go wrong with a Drug Enforcement Agency agent being heavily involved in a quality, upstanding establishment like a strip club? Seriously, the best people on the planet always hang out at joints where women are paid to take their clothes off and spin around on a filthy brass poles while wearing translucent stilettos and allowing strangers to shove money into their G-string. There are never any criminals, drug dealers or scumbags hanging around such establishments, so why in the world was former high-ranking DEA agent David Polos sentenced to one year of probation for concealing his double-life as a strip club investor and manager? Seriously, why was this guy apologizing and weeping openly before hearing his punishment in federal court in Manhattan? Hell, his attorney even described him as a "broken man,” which just seems wrong even though Polos was convicted at a trial last year on charges he lied on national security forms that asked about outside employment that might put him "in proximity to crime" and at risk for getting blackmailed. Since when would anyone hanging out at a strip club be so seedy and disreputable as to learn about the owner’s status as a DEA agent and use that information against him? Besides, strip clubs and drugs NEVER go together, so there could be no conflict there. Oh, there was the fact that Polos’ New Jersey club, Twins Plus Go-Go Lounge, employed strippers from Brazil or Russia who were in the country illegally and prosecutors said there was evidence that private rooms were used for prostitution, but is that really enough to ruin a (not a very good) DEA agent’s life and career……..

- Capitalism and fame don’t give a damn about politics. In related news, Radiohead have announced plans to play a gig in Israel this summer. Those who don’t pay attention to the convergence of regional politics in the Middle East and iconic rock bands may not know that there is a growing movement spearheaded by Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters to urge musicians to avoid performing in Israel in protest of the country’s occupation of Palestinian land. The group, called Artists For Palestine UK, recently made a public plea to Chemical Brothers to pull out of a planned show in Israel. “Tel Aviv’s hipster vibe is a bubble on the surface of a very deep security state that drove out half the indigenous Palestinian population in 1948 and has no intention of letting their descendants back in,” an open letter from the group to Chemical Brothers opined. “If you go to Tel Aviv, your presence will be used by the Israeli authorities to reassure their citizens that all’s right with the world and nobody really cares that the Palestinians are suffering… Please don’t go.” Clearly deciding that their desire to entertain Israelis and cash in big with a gig at the Park Hayarkon in Tel Aviv on July 19 trumps some activist group’s quest to convince the world to support its views on the Israel-Palestine conflict, Radiohead announced the show on Twitter and while they’ll undoubtedly hear plenty of criticism for it ahead of the show, at present their plans are clearly to rock on in the Promised Land……..

- Nations from around the world are routinely at odds with one another, but it’s rare that anyone has a beef with the polite people of Canada. They’re just so damn nice, they have a charmingly sad love of denim and their bacon, while misnamed, is still delicious. So why is Brazil beefing with the Canucks? Because Brazil is accusing Canada of providing unfair subsidies to aircraft manufacturer Bombardier, an allegation laid out in a complaint Brazil has filed with the World Trade Organization. According to a statement from Brazil's Foreign Ministry, government subsidies to Bombardier have created distortions in the international aeronautical market that are incompatible with WTO rules and that negatively affect Brazil's interests. The problem stems from the fact that Brazil's Embraer is a competitor of Bombardier and the foreign ministry alleges that in 2016 alone, Bombardier received around $2.5 billion in Canadian government support. The tipping point for this ongoing squabble came this week when Canada announced its plans to give Bombardier $285 million in loans to support its Global 7000 and CSeries programs and while the Brazilian statement singled out the CSeries program, it elected to leave the latest loan as cannon fodder for a future attack. Back in July, the Canadian government insisted that it was following trade rules in the case, a claim that Brazil clearly didn’t buy back then and isn't buying now, or else it wouldn’t be taking this battle to the hallowed halls of the WTO………

- Either get good or get gone. Shaun White, 23-time X Games medalist, is electing for the former even though he hasn’t been having a great run of late. His fourth-place finish in Sochi at the last Winter Olympics was a huge letdown, but that disappointment isn't preventing him from pondering a return to the Games - and not necessarily the next Winter Olympics, which will take place next year in South Korea. No, White is pondering departing the halfpipe and competing at the Tokyo Summer Olympics in skateboarding. The 2020 Games will be the Olympic debut for the sport and for a guy who has enjoyed plenty of success both the snow and on the ramps, that’s an enticing possibility. Of those 23 X Games medals, five came in vert at the Summer X Games. After snowboarding became part of the Winter Olympics and none of his specialties were part of the Summer Games, White channeled his energy to the cold-weather sports and won gold medals in 2006 and 2010. Still, extreme sports are always about the next wave of teenagers from around the world rising up and usurping the stardom of established veterans like White and of late, his star has dimmed a bit. With the International Olympic Committee adding street and park skateboarding, White is leaning toward Summer Olympics glory even though none of those sports are his specialty. Park skateboarding hinges on vertical jump skills along with mastery of street features like rails and stairs, which White admits will take a lot of learning. He’s still planning on vying for gold in next year's Olympics in South Korea, but in the meantime, he’s hired a new coach and done his best to propel himself back to the top of the mountain, or halfpipe, or wherever else he competes………

Idris Elba brings the noise, G5 v. terrorism and Knicks v. giving a damn

- At least the New York Knicks could be bothered to put forth enough effort to speak the words and sum up one of the most listless performances you’ll ever see from an NBA team. No, the Knickerbockers couldn’t be bothered to give a damn on the court during their 121-107 loss to the Los Angeles Lakers - coincidentally one of the NBA’s worst teams - at home, but in the wake of that defeat, they summoned the energy necessary to admit what they’d done - or not done, as in tried. "That's the worst we've looked this season," backup point guard Brandon Jennings said after losing to a Lakers team that had dropped 12 straight road games before their Big Apple triumph. "You can't coach effort and energy. That's something we should all have. We all make millions of dollars playing this game, so the least we can do is go out there and play hard every night. Regardless of who's making shots or anything like that, just effort and energy, just leave it all out there on the court." With the loss, the Knicks have dropped 17 of their past 23 and are in 12th place in the Eastern Conference, nowhere close to the playoff team most expected them to be after (abysmally bad) team president Phil Jackson traded for Derrick Rose and signed Joakim Noah and Courtney Lee in the offseason. But playing poorly is one thing; not giving a damn about it is another. "You've got to play for some pride," Hornacek said. "If you're just going to come out and just play basketball, then you're in the wrong level." Lee went so far as to apologize to fans the day after the game, but there are some things you just can't apologize for……..

- Africa is feeling mighty good about itself lately and acting as if it doesn’t need or want the rest of the world’s help or judgment. First, a group of nations from the continent began bandying about the idea of leaving the International Criminal Court because it dares to hold Africa’s dictators accountable for their crimes against humanity and now, the presidents of five countries in Africa's vast Sahel region have come up with a plan to create a joint counterterrorism force to battle high-profile attacks by numerous extremist groups, including Boko Haram and ones linked to al-Qaida. The plan was hatched following a meeting in Mali of the regional G5 group, which includes Mali, Niger, Mauritania, Burkina Faso and Chad. If hearing those names doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in your mind when it comes to stamping out terrorism, you’re not alone. Those five countries aren't exactly international heavyweights in the fight against evil, but it’s nice that they’re trying and they can't implement their plan without a mandate from the African Union and United Nations as well as financing. Details on who will comprise the force, how large it will be and how it will operate are scarce at this point, but back in 2014, France launched its counterterrorism Operation Barkhane, which covers the same five countries, so there is precedence for such a group. Applause for the effort, if nothing else, G5………..

- Idris Elba inspires a lot more vitriol than a good-looking, talented and seemingly decent actor/entertainer should. When his name was being tossed around as a possible successor to Daniel Craig as the next James Bond, haters used everything from his race to his acting skills to try to knock him down. Now, the people trying to go to battle with the “Luther” star are his neighbors in the tony London borough where he lives when he’s not making movies or music around the world. Ironically, it’s his music that’s the issue here, as Elba is reportedly planning to build a recording studio in the basement of his London home, a plan that has angered many of his neighbors. Elba, who also DJs when he’s not acting, is apparently planning to build a state-of-the-art studio in the basement of his $3.5 million Hackney house and wants to use it for film, TV and music post-production. The studio itself and the noise it might create are only part of this issue; the foot traffic created by a studio that would be open for 15 hours a day, seven days a week is just as big of a concern. Elba’s proposed plans have been submitted to the local council and his neighbors are already furious over them. Before Elba owned the home, it housed a charity and apparently, charity is something the neighbors are out of when it comes to their hood’s most famous resident…….

- Irony lives at Brooklyn’s Metropolitan Detention Center, not far from a “leaky slop sink pipe” that managed to do what few rivals ever could to Thomas “Tommy Shots” Gioeli. Gioeli, the orca-fat ex-Colombo mob boss, is suing the federal government for $10 million over an incident in which he slipped, fell and allegedly injured himself during a prison ping-pong match. According to the lawsuit, Gioeli was watching the ping pong match when he slipped in the liquid that came from the pipe broke his kneecap. This saga has been going on since 2014, when the former mob boss filed his initial complaint in the case - a complaint that conveniently left out the details of his prison extracurriculars. Yes, a man known for having his rivals kneecapped injured his own without anyone actually attacking him. According to Gioeli, the slip happened in 2013 when he was waiting for assignment to a prison to serve his 18-year sentence for racketeering and conspiracy to commit murder. The government accused him of a series of murders, including the 1997 retaliatory slaying of NYPD officer Ralph Dols for marrying another mobster’s wife, but he was acquitted of those charges in 2012. Now, a guy who carried a man purse to trial is expecting the government to fill that murse with a load of dollar bills to compensate him for apparently failing to properly maintain its plumbing or to place a “Caution: Wet Floor” sign on the ground to make sure that the prison rec room was a safe place for one and all as they watched some of their fellow inmates smack around something other than a witness they don’t want to testify against them at their trial……..

MLB v. pace of action, Florida keeps Florida-ing and Russia + Venezuela = Love Fest

- The League of Dictatorial/Despotic States’ latest club meeting has wrapped up and boy, what a gathering it was. Venezuela, which has an official government hit squad to take down opponents of dictator Nicolas Maduro, received a nice boost of approval from Russia as the two nations’ foreign ministers met to tell one another how great they were at oppressing dissidents and stifling those who demand fair governance. Russian Foreign Minister Serguéi Lavrov told his Venevuelan counterpart, Delcy Rodriguez, how much he agreed with her government’s opposition to foreign interference in a country’s internal affairs, expressed Russia’s strong support for Maduro's socialist/despotic rule and reaffirmed a willingness to expand the existing bilateral cooperation between the two nations. "Foreign pressure is unacceptable," Lavrov said. "It is very important to avoid artificially-fueled tensions and protests which violate Venezuela’s laws and may lead to dangerous consequences for both Venezuela and its neighboring countries.” Rodriguez chimed in with her very own comedy routine, claiming that Maduro is open to dialogue in an effort to heal the deeply divided country. In response, Lavrov said more nice things about how swell Venezuela is. “We reaffirm our solidarity with the friendly people of this country [and] our strong support for the government's course of action to prevent a destabilizing situation and establish a national dialogue," Lavrov said. Both ministers praised last year’s agreement between OPEC and non-OPEC, including Russia, to limit the extraction of oil to stabilize prices, agreeing that the deal should help stabilize the market situation. As their time together neared an end, the duo waxed poetic about the ongoing cooperation between their countries in various fields, including nuclear medicine, agriculture and the production of vaccines and drugs in Venezuela. It was a vomit-inducing display of d-baggery on an international level, so hopefully everyone had fun………

- Speaking of d-bags people love to hate on, Bush. Yes, the pretty boy, poseur rockers fronted by the ultimate pretty boy/poseur, lead singer Gavin Rossdale, are back. The much-maligned rockers have officially announced their musical comeback, plucking Rossdale from the world of reality karaoke show judges with a new album and headline show in London set for next month. It’s the place they formed in 1992 and as recently as 2010, they were reforming following an eight-year absence. Since 2010, they’ve produced two new albums, with the most recent being 2014’s ‘Man On The Run.’ The official confirmation of Bush’s return came with the revelation of the name for the band’s seventh album, ‘Black and White Rainbows,’ which will be released on March 10. The album’s first single, “Mad Love,” was released last week along with the announcement of the London headline show to coincide with the release of the album in a few weeks. The band are set to play at the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire in the capital on March 14, fulfilling Rossdale’s previously stated dream that being a judge on the latest season of the United Kingdom’s edition of “The Voice” would help revive both his and his band’s respective flagging careers. Yes, because if whoring your musical credibility out by judging a bunch of aspiring karaoke-ers can't get you back on track, than nothing can…….

- Florida, keep on Florida-ing. We’re all counting on you and our lives are more entertaining because of you being so consistently true to yourself. The latest instance of this life-affirming (and life-threatening) trend came in Winter Garden, where a man who was victimized by a car thief decided that he’d rather strafe his own ride with gunfire than allow someone to get away with the stolen vehicle. According to Winter Garden Police, who closed Vineland Road at West Colonial Drive for several hours during rush hour, an unidentified victim opened fire on a suspected car thief who jacked his truck and tried to escape, only to be truck-blocked and forced to flee on foot. Police said the man woke up to see his white truck being stolen and since he apparently has really reliable and readily available friends, he was able to borrow a friend’s truck and used it to pursue his own stolen whip. He soon spotted his stolen truck and showing no regard for the well-being of his friend’s vehicle, he pulled in front of the man driving his stolen rig and blocked the street. At that point, the thief rammed the borrowed truck and amazingly, the situation was about to get even more dangerous. The car theft victim was packing heat and saying he feared for his life when he was rammed, he pulled out his piece and opened fire on his own vehicle, shooting the driver’s door several times and forcing the thief out of the vehicle, but only after backing up over a water main at the McDonald's on the corner of West Colonial Drive and Daniels Road, breaking the water main. The thief then fled on foot, leaving the truck’s own with a bullet-riddled ride, a damaged truck belonging to his buddy and plenty of questions to answer from police………

- There are few things Major League Baseball is in more of a hurry to accomplish than speeding up its lumbering, dawdling pace of play. MLB knows that it’s getting its ass kicked by faster, more action-packed sports (the NBA, NFL, UFC, old ladies across the street, paint drying, etc.) and wants to do something to help revive interest before baseball goes the way of headphone jacks on new iPhones. For that reason, commissioner Rob Manfred and his crew are tackling what he commonly refers to as "pace of action” by weighing initiatives to a) raise the strike zone and b) allow teams to walk opposing batters without having to throw four intentionally errant pitches. MLB has made formal proposals to the players' union to implement both changes. While neither can be implemented without approval of the Major League Baseball Players Association, the union is now speaking to players to weigh their feelings on the changes and in order to have either in place by the start of the season, an agreement would have to be struck soon. Under the strike zone proposal, the zone would be pulled up at its lower border to the top of the hitter's knees. Right now, the bottom of the zone is defined as "the hollow beneath the kneecap,” but analytics show that umpires have been increasingly calling strikes on so many pitches below the knees that, if umpires enforce the redefined strike zone, it would effectively raise the zone by an estimated 2 inches. Channeling baseball’s inner slow-pitch, rec-league softball self and allowing teams to intentionally walk batters by just telling the umpire they want to walk the batter and having him go directly to first base is the second proposed change and it would eliminate about a minute of dead time per walk. Add it all up and the stated goal is to make games shorter so the next generation of fans - if there is one - doesn’t have to pay attention to baseball quite as long………

The Sabbath ends, the Walmart Zone happens and T.O. entertains us all

- Mr. Whoever’s In Charge of the northern Kosovo city of Mitrovica, tear down this wall. Ronald Reagan addressing Mikhail Gorbachev it wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean folks couldn’t enjoy the tearing down of a concrete wall that has provoked tensions between Kosovo and neighboring Serbia. The Mitrovica wall came tumbling down following an agreement between the government and the country's ethnic Serb minority, facilitated by the European Union and United States embassies. It may have taken outsiders to make this happen - just like the Berlin Wall coming down - but even with the agreement in place, the wall's destruction by two excavators was still a big moment and it happened without any incidents. Police were out en mass and on high alert to make sure no one tried to f*ck up the event, which will hopefully quell the border tensions that began with the wall in December and increased other incidents in January, including a Serbian nationalist train that was stopped at the border. This has been one of the most heated periods in the region since Kosovo declared independence from Serbia in 2008, but given that Serbia has not recognized it as a separate country, such situations are bound to keep happening. Serbia’s insistence on maintaining influence in northern Kosovo, where most of the Serb minority lives, is a big part of what keeps the drama alive, but at least this literal concrete barrier to peace is out of the way for now………

- Whether or not Terrell Owens deserved to be inducted to the Pro Football Hall of Fame this year or not, there’s no question that him failing to make the final cut is going to produce some quality entertainment. Owens, who did not get voted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame on Saturday, has been working hard to improve his negative public image since retiring, including becoming a member of the media and showing up on television smiling and cracking jokes. But that image makeover didn’t help him in his second year as one of 15 finalists for the hall and despite 15,934 receiving yards (second-most all time) and 153 receiving touchdowns (third-most all time), Owens will have to wait ay least one more year. Let’s just say he’s unhappy about the delay. “Unfortunately I DID NOT MAKE IT again this year. Thanks to ALL my fans & supporters. #FlawedProcess,” Owens tweeted. “When you align expectations with reality you will never be disappointed. To my family, fans & friends I'm a Hall Of Famer. #FlawedProcess.” Two tweets with a balky hashtag probably won't start a revolution, especially because the five modern-era players to make it were LaDainian Tomlinson, Kurt Warner, Jason Taylor, Terrell Davis and Morten Andersen, all deserving entrants. Warner did express disappointment that Owens didn’t get in and after fighting his own prolonged battle to get in, he knows how Owens feels. The rest of us will also know how Owens feels in the days and weeks ahead because rest assured, he’s going to keep talking about it……..

- The Walmart Zone really should be a thing. It’s a place - regardless of which Walmart in whatever part of America it may be - where you wouldn’t be surprised to see, hear or witness any insane action/clothing choice/bizarre conversation. Included in that zone is the Walmart in Pine Hills, Florida, a place where police were called to the scene after a shopper shot and killed a suspected diaper thief in the parking lot. Amazingly, this wasn’t some late-night scene in which a gun-toting vigilante gunned down someone who tried to grab valuable items and make a run for it. It happened in the morning and according to police, the shooter opened fire out of fear for his life. “What we have at this point is that the individual felt threatened — one of the suspects reached for something [and he] thought that it was a weapon or firearm,” Orange County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Angelo Nieves said. The victim in the shooting was allegedly shoplifting diapers with three accomplices and this criminal quartet were loading the diapers in a car when a Walmart employee tried to stop them. The would-be Yosemite Sam arrived on the scene to lend a hand - or a firearm - to the employee and shot one of the suspects, after which the four suspects drove off and smashed into two cars. Three of them fled on foot, leaving behind their wounded counterpart, who shot made it as far as a gas station across the street. A witness tried to comfort the man until emergency personnel could arrive on the scene, but the man was later pronounced dead and now, police have to try to sort out this whole mess…….

- Indecipherable, mumbled and yet full of fire, Black Sabbath rode off into its musical sunset over the weekend in their hometown, playing heir final show as a band at Birmingham’s NEC Arena. The metal madmen, led by frontman Ozzy Osbourne, played 15 songs from their lengthy catalog, closing out with “Paranoid,” culled from the 1970 album of the same name. The gig put a cap not only on the band’s career together, but wrapped up the 81-date The End tour and for those who couldn’t make it to Birmingham and afford the exorbitant ticket prices for the gig could watch it live on the band’s Facebook page. Before closing with “Paranoid,” Sabbath ripped through classics ‘War Pigs’, ‘Iron Man’ and ‘Children of the Grave.” Osbourne, guitarist Tony Iommi and bassist Geezer Butler helped form the band in 1968 and were all part of the final tour even though Osbourne said - at least we think this is what he said - late last year that he would continue making music following Black Sabbath’s demise. “It’s not me that wants to retire, it’s Black Sabbath,” he said. “I’ll be continuing my own musical thing. My wife is good at telling me partial information, but I know I’m not hanging my boots up for a while.” The end came one month after keyboardist Geoff Nicholls died at 68 after a long battle with cancer, having performed with Black Sabbath for 25 years. Put it all together and it seems like the right time to end things, although like most old-school rockers, Black Sabbath probably hung on longer than they should have……..

Conor McGregor keeps Conor-ing, someone other than Morgan Freeman plays God and Riot Watch! Romania

- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Romania continues to be a box full of dynamite with the fuse quickly burning down towards a giant boom and the flame kept burning late last week as tens of thousands of protesters again took to the streets of Bucharest and other Romanian cities, toting giant national flags, blowing whistle and jeering at the sight of giant puppets of politicians they hold responsible for a decree to dilute the country's anti-corruption fight. The uprising included people of all ages, even children, for a fourth straight night of protests fueled by rage against the government, mixed with optimism that change is possible. Some in the crowd carried banners reading, "I came for my future." The fourth night of riots was arguably the angriest after two key government allies claimed that the emergency government decree passed without input from parliament was unconstitutional. The Romanian Orthodox Church also weighed in against the measure, joining a chorus of critics who claim it will allow corrupt politicians to escape punishment. General prosecutor Augustin Lazar asked the Bucharest Court of Appeal to suspend and cancel the government decree "in an emergency regime" before it formally becomes law on Feb. 9, while ombudsman Victor Ciorbea, who previously backed the government's ordinance, flipped his position and announced that he would tell the Constitutional Court that the decree to decriminalize official misconduct under a certain dollar amount was "not justified." Even a parliamentary party that formally supports the government, the Union of Democratic Hungarians, came out against the new measure, adding momentum to the push against unilateral lawmaking by the current regime………

- Wait…Morgan Freeman isn't contractually obligated to play God in any movie depicting the almighty in any form? Apparently not, as the world is now getting its first chance to go online and witness Mac DeMarco’s cameo in the short independent movie “My Last Film.” The project debuted at the 53rd New York Film Festival in 2015, but it’s been tough to track down since then for those who aren't hardwired into the indie film scene. It’s directed by filmmaker Zia Anger – who has previously shot music videos for the likes of Angel Olsen and Jenny Hval – and stars Lola Kirke (“Gone Girl”), Kelly Rohrbach and Rosanna Arquette, but it also features DeMarco as God in a decision that put the musician in a place usually reserved for the golden voice of Freeman in movies. “I thought the most God-like person [for her characters] would either be a casting agent or Mac. Mac and I are good friends and he was a good sport, so I cast him as God,” Anger said. Appropriately enough given the director’s last name, the nine-minute film features a hell of a lot of violence in a very short amount of cinematic space, all with the aim, according to its director, of exploring the concept of “the never ending cycle of stereotypical Williamsburg white girl replacing a stereotypical Williamsburg white girl.” Ah, the hipster life. DeMarco’s cameo is extremely short and he has no lines in the project, but when you’re the omnipotent being who formed the world and all inside it, you don’t always need to speak a lot……… 

- Squatters had themselves quite a week last week. First, a large group of them was evicted from a London mansion owned by a wealthy Russian businssman, drawing plenty of attention to their cause of housing issues in the city. The moties for a smaller group of illegal dwellers in Las Vegas resident Debbie Marks, who is attempting to sell her home in order to pay for a much-needed kidney surgery for her husband. Marks would love to polish up her home, make it nice and sell it for top dollar after she moved out of it back in June. The problem came last month when squatters saw the vacant home not as a piece of property owned by a woman who needs the value it represents to procure crucial medical care for her spouse, but rather as a vacant space where they could live for free. After learning of the hostile home takeover, Marks filed a complaint against a woman named Betina Merkson on Jan. 15, then an eviction notice on Jan. 25. Amazingly, her squatters proved that being poor and not paying for your own place to live doesn’t mean you can't scrounge together enough cash to pay a lawyer and filed their own motion to stay in the home. Marks decided to take direct action and went to the home, where she found a broken window she covered with cardboard, a trashed bedroom that once belonged to her son and now has a hung blanket serving as a door and blankets stacked on top of the furniture left in the home. The piece de resistance for her attempted retaking of her home was to offer the squatters $1,000 to leave. For now, the fight continues for the modest  house on Burnham Avenue and the woman trying to sell it in order to get the $20,000 she needs to pay for her husband's kidney surgery………

- Conor’s gonna Conor. Conor McGregor is out of action for a few months to spend time with his girlfriend as she prepares to give birth to their first child, but that doesn’t mean he’s not picking fights and antagonizing adversaries despite being outside the octagon. When he’s not busy making noise about a possible super fight with retired boxing champion Floyd Mayweather Jr., McGregor still finds targets for his jabs and during a live video chat with his fans, the reigning UFC men's lightweight champion turned his focus back to a familiar target: Nate Diaz. The two men fought twice last year, with McGregor losing the first in a stunner before rallying to defeat Diaz by decision late in the year. Yet Diaz joined forces with Mayweather to have a laugh at McGregor's expense in December and on hiatus or not, McGregor wasn’t about to let that one slide. "Nate's a b*tch. Nate's a f*cking b*tch, and let me tell you why," McGregor said. "I had the biggest respect for Nate – and I still have big respect for Nick, he's out doing his thing – but when [Nate] took that phone call or that video call from Floyd Mayweather, and was like, 'Hello Floyd's fans,' he was Floyd's b*tch that night. I was like, you f*cking p*ssy.” McGregor joked that Diaz should have told Mayweather to shut up or else he’d choke him out the way he did McGregor in their first bout, but since he elected not to do that, the Dublin-born smack talker took him to task. “He was Floyd's b*tch that night. He was Floyd's employee that night,” McGregor said. “So look, f*ck Nate. F*ck Nick. F*ck the Diaz brothers. And if you want to be down with the Diaz brothers, then f*ck you too." That just about says it all……..