Saturday, January 14, 2017

Will Smith + Dumbo, raging against Putin's religious intrusions and McNugget + gun + Harlem + middle school


- That’s the strategy, Anthony Bennett. Bennett, continuing his dogged pursuit of undisputed status as the worst No. 1 pick in NBA draft history, is fresh off washing out with his fourth NBA team in as any seasons and rather than toil in the humiliating obscurity of the NBA Developmental League or sit by the phone waiting for another NBA team in need of a warm body at the end of the bench to call him, he’s taking his career to a place where - here’s hoping - pretty much no one has any idea who the hell he is other than being a failed American basketball player willing to take their euros. Yes, Bennett's next stop is Turkey after his release earlier this week by the Brooklyn Nets, as he’s hammered out what is surely a lucrative deal with Turkish club power Fenerbahce that would give him an opportunity to play in the Euroleague this season. How much does a European team pay a guy who was drafted No. 1 overall out of UNLV by Cleveland in 2014, traded, then released by his next two teams and broken off after playing in 23 games this season with Brooklyn, averaging 5.0 points and 3.4 rebounds in 11.5 minutes per game? It can’t be a real bidding war to secure Bennett’s services, but now he can play out what remains of his failed career off the basketball grid in a place where, if he’s lucky, he’ll make some extra cash and avoid any riots and bombings over the course of what remains of the season……..


- Harlem is a hard place. It’s the sort of place where you make sure you don’t walk down the wrong street after dark and the sort of place where a normal middle school lunch room squabble over processed, nutritionally suspect globs of chicken blows right past shoving someone into their locker and reaches the point of a 12-year-old shoving a gun in the face of a female classmate. According to the New York Police Department, the boy pulled a gun on a classmate and demanded she give him a chicken nugget, the punctuation mark on a story that began when the boy noticed the girl buying chicken McNuggets at a Lexington Avenue and East 103rd Street McDonald's. At that time, the boy asked his classmate to spare a McNugget for him and she refused, probably for the same reason any middle school girl would, possibly because she’s selfish, maybe because she was just really hungry or even because she thinks the boy asking her for a McNugget is weird or ugly or uncool. Regardless, the boy allegedly followed the girl into the 103rd St. No. 6-train station, pointed a gun at her head and demanded a McNugget again. At that point, the girl showed the sort of hard edge that comes with growing up in Harlem, smacking the gun away from her head, telling her stalker to leave her alone and boarding the train unharmed. Amazingly, the boy also boarded the train and his victim later saw him showing the gun to another child on the train. The following day, the girl reported the incident to school officials and the gun-toting, would-be McNugget thief was taken into custody……..


- How strong is the draw of being part of Hollywood’s 8,746,615th remake/reboot/sequel this decade? That’s apparently a question to be answered by two of Hollywood’s biggest names, as Will Smith and Tom Hanks could be set to star in a reboot of Disney’s “Dumbo.” Both are reportedly top targets to appear in a remake of the 1942 animated movie to be directed by Tim Burton, who previously remade “Alice In Wonderland.” Fans of a legit animated classic will recall the sappy, overly emotional tale of a mocked baby circus elephant, who, with the help of a mouse, worked to achieve his full potential. Burton, the frequent auteur of weird and kooky takes on reality, will craft his “Dumbo” vision using a mix of live action and animation and word on the street is that Smith is wanted to play the father of kids who develop an interminable bond with the titular character after seeing Dumbo perform at the circus. The problem for Smith is that he’s committed to appear in the forthcoming, latest “Bad Boys” sequel and if he takes the “Dumbo” gig, the start date for his latest unnecessary extension of his law enforcement action franchise with his pal Martin Lawrence would likely be delayed. That’s interesting because Smith has signed on with Martin Lawrence for two more Bad Boys films. As for Hanks, he’s reportedly the favorite to play the “Dumbo” villain, a role he could play if he can sandwich it around his obligations starring in and promoting the forthcoming dystopian sci-fi movie “The Circle,” a film in which he appears alongside Emma Watson………


- There’s a lot to be angry about in Russia on any given day, at least for those who don’t enjoy living under the oppressive, tyrannical and dissent-stifling reign of despot Vlad Putin. However, raging against the machine of the Russian Orthodox Church isn't typically one of those reasons - unless you ask the several hundred people who staged a semi-violent uprising this week outside a St. Petersburg landmark cathedral to protest plans to give it to the Russian Orthodox Church. The culprit in inciting the rage of those who gathered to lash out was the local governor, who announced this week that the city was transferring the iconic St. Isaac's Cathedral to the Orthodox Church, a move that enraged residents and museum experts in Russia's former imperial capital. In response, protestors massed up and headed over to St. Isaac's, which has been an important museum since Russia's 1917 Bolshevik Revolution, to protest the move. "The Church should know its place!" one sign at the protest declared. Critics of the move have decried it as emblematic of what they view as a growing trend toward social conservatism in Russia, where Putin has appealed to traditional values as opposed to Western liberalism in a bid to consolidate his grip on Russian society. Any reason to rise up against the heinous rule of the oft-shirtless dictator is a good one, even if it’s likely to end with a long-term gulag visit for those involved and probably their immediate family members……..

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