Thursday, January 05, 2017

James Van Der-Diplo, mug shot cover-ups and hollow title guarantees


- It’s always embarrassing when the rider for a musician or actor gets out following a concert or appearance, especially when that rider shows off their diva tendencies such as only eating certain color M&Ms or only drinking bottled water chilled to a specific temperature. Usually, the person getting exposed publicly for being a pampered, self-centered ass hat isn't the embattled president of a world power, but welcome to the life of Brazilian President Michel Temer, who has promised to pull Latin America's largest country out of recession and doesn’t seem to understand how to go about doing so. That much is evident when you take a closer look at a list of items for 2017 presidential plane trips and see entries such as 500 cartons of Haagen-Dazs ice cream, 1.5 tons of chocolate cake, 1,102 pounds of dry ice, 1,500 liters of coconut water, 500 units of truffles, 200 units of presidential breakfasts with Greek yogurt, provolone, Brie cheese and buffalo mozzarella and 50 each of Tablito, ChicaBon and Cornetto ice-cream treats. The list leaked out late last year and a Brazilian public that has seen its country foot the bill for two major international sporting events in the past three years and go through a major financial crisis that led to the ouster of its previous president was understandably upset at the contents of said list. Amazingly, within a few hours of it leaking, the government announced the order had been canceled. In other news, Brazil is still stuck with a subpar president……..


- There are few things worse than casually uttered championship guarantees by athletes. One uttered casually by a player who might not even be a member of the team for which he’s guaranteeing a title is on the list. Enter likely free-agent-receiver-to-be Alshon Jeffery, a known PED user who had only 52 receptions for 821 yards and two touchdowns last season because he served a four-game PED suspension, yet on his way out the door for the year guaranteed the Chicago Bears (3-13) would win the Super Bowl next year. "I guarantee you we'll win the Super Bowl next year,” Jeffrey told the world after the Bears just finished their worst season in franchise history and missed out on the playoffs for the ninth time in 10 years. The fan base that saw its favorite team without its best receiver for a quarter of the season didn’t want to hear any of that and the rest of the football world just laughed it off as the nonsensical musings of a delusional, proud athlete. Jeffrey, who is headed to free agency unless the Bears apply another franchise tag to him, at least found some support within the organization he may be about to leave. "My initial reaction was, 'I like that he said that,'" Bears general manager Ryan Pace said. "That shows an important player on this team and how he feels about this locker room.” Head coach John Fox agreed, noting that, "You've got to think it and believe it before it happens." Yes, but it also helps if the person who guarantees it is still around to make it happen. Either way, next year’s Super Bowl will happen without the Bears and unless he signs with a much better team, without Alshon Jeffrey……….


- No one looks good in a DUI mugshot. You’re clearly not sharp, your appearance is far from its best and your disposition is likely negative. Given those circumstances, pretty much anybody plopped down in front of the camera at the local jail is going to submit one of the ugliest photos ever taken of them. However, not everyone responds the way Joseph Talbot does when their DUI arrest becomes the news of the day in the hamlet they call home. Talbot was arrested by state police in Wayne County and charged with driving while intoxicated. He also earned additional charges for refusing to be fingerprinted or photographed after he told troopers he didn’t want his mugshot in the paper, which is a) not in the police’s control and b) something you should consider before you have eight beers at the local watering hole and then get behind the wheel. But Talbot was clearly adamant about the issue because after he was released, he took his crusade to keep his crime private by buying hundreds of copies of a weekly upstate New York newspaper in an unsuccessful effort to keep others from reading about his drunk driving arrest. Trying to silence the 12,000-circulation Times of Wayne County after it obtained a mugshot from the county jail and printed it along with a story is a bold step and according to the owner of the paper, Talbot bought nearly 1,000 copies at $1.25 each. In the process, he made himself an even bigger story than he otherwise would have and multiplied his embarrassment by 1,000 in the process, along with wasting an additional $1,250 on top of what his DUI arrest will already take out of his pockets……..


- He’s never really rediscovered his “Dawson’s Creek” mojo, but maybe a turn as electronic DJ and producer Diplo can do the trick for actor James Van Der Beek. JDVB is reportedly set to hold down that very role in a new TV series, one that has the rather unimaginative title, ‘What Would Diplo Do?’ The show will reportedly see Van Der Beek portray a fictionalized version of the Major Lazer star and this ambitious new show will arrive on Viceland later this year and has been described as “Louie meets WorldStarHipHop crossed with This Is Spinal Tap.” The description of Van Der Beek’s fictionalized Diplo is one of a man with the skills on the turntables to send tens of thousands of people into a frenzy, but - in a shocking turn that never happens on television shows or in movies - is a mess when it comes to his personal life and dealing with people on a more direct scale. What’s interesting is that the show is written by Van Der Beek, who will also executive produce it alongside Diplo himself. Because the show will air on Viceland, the network that History Channel 2 morphed into last year, Viceland head and director Spike Jonze will also help steer the show. JVDB has a history of playing Diplo, having previously portrayed the DJ in a Mad Decent Block Party promo video called ‘Day In The Life Of Diplo.” Do many more of these projects and it could morph into something creepy and stalker-ish, but for now, it merely looks like an actor who has never found a way to replicate the success he enjoyed with a WB teen drama two decades ago and has found someone to hitch his wagon to and ride out of the shadows of D-list-Ville and back to something remotely resembling relevance in the here and now…….

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