- Everyone into the pool…..the increased nuclear security
guidelines pool, that is. Yes, the world’s heaviest heavyweights are all
standing up, thumping their gubernatorial chests and proudly announcing to the
world that they are willing to put their name on a piece of paper that says
they will help turn international nuclear security guidelines into national laws. All
of this would be tremendously encouraging if it were binding and had any teeth
to it, but for now, let us all revel in the sight of 35 nations at a nuclear
summit in The Hague, Netherlands signing a document that many of them will
conveniently ignore at some point in the near future. The Netherlands, the United States and South Korea were the
primary driving forces behind the initiative, which also “requires”
participating nations to open their security procedures to independent review.
In addition to the three nations that spearheaded the drive to sign the
agreement, Britain, France, Germany, Israel, Japan, South Korea and Turkey were
among those who signed on the line that is dotted. The signing ceremony came
one day after Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and President Barack Obama kicked
off the festivities by announcing an agreement under which Japan will hand over
hundreds of kilograms of weapons-grade uranium and plutonium to the United
States, where it will be converted into proliferation-resistant forms. Given
the tinderbox that is Ukraine and the myriad other uprisings and rebellions
going in throughout Europe, Africa and South America at the moment, any
progress at all toward reducing the prevalence of nuclear weaponry and
capabilities around the globe would be a solid idea……..
- Smart, non-square residents of any state across America
would freely admit that they want a governor with whom they can sit down on an
historic, overpriced, mahogany bar stool and drink a pint of beer with the man
or woman charged with leading their state. Residents of Colorado don’t have to
wish for that any longer as they and their rapidly expanding craft beer
industry have officially been recognized at the corner of E. 8th Avenue and Pennsylvania
Street, a.k.a. the Colorado governor’s mansion. As of last Thursday, Gov. John
Hickenlooper will be able to taunt America’s other 49 governors as the only one
in their club of underperforming elected officials with his own draft beer
system. “It just seemed appropriate,” Hickenlooper said. The governor is a
former brewer who founded the Wynkoop Brewing Company in Denver, back when the
city wasn’t the stoner utopia and beer haven that it has become of late. There
are now 232 federally licensed
breweries and brewpubs in Colorado and the governor figured it was about time
he got his own tap system so he could get to work on his keg stands and flip
cup skills. “If you’d have told me we’d one day have 235 breweries, I’d have
laughed,” Hickenlooper added. “I think it’s a symbol of Colorado; I think it
stands for freedom, having a lot of choices. In the governor’s view, the
mansion where he resides is a symbol of the Centennial State and therefore, it
should showcase one of the state’s top exports. Wynkoop beer, Silverback Pale
Ale, was the first small batch keg tapped at the mansion, but the plan is to
get inebriated using small-batch brews from breweries all across the state. The
taps were cracked just in time to kick off Colorado Craft Beer Week, a
celebration of an industry that now employs around 5,000 Coloradans. Installing
the taps was a months-long process that strove to maintain the building’s
historical integrity while also making it possible for politicians, lobbyists
and other important visitors to get liquored up in fine fashion……..
- The blitz is underway. Minor league baseball teams around
the United States are rushing to polish up their promotional ideas for the about-to-commence
season in the hopes of drawing in fans with wacky contests, great giveaways and
hilarious mocking of pop culture and political figures who have committed
embarrassing faux paus in recent months.
The Durham Bulls, the Triple-A affiliate of the Tampa Bay Rays, are steering
their ship in a different direction. Simply put, the Bulls are aiming for the
dork demographic and hoping to score big by appealing to basement-dwelling
dweebs everywhere with a promotion from a galaxy far, far away. The team
announced plans this week for jerseys inspired by famed “Star Wars” robot R2-D2.
They will wear the bot-inspired threads on May 4, with the date a tip of the
cap to the unofficial holiday than the loser fans of the iconic sci-fi
franchise have claimed because May the Fourth sounds as close as they will ever
get to the famed line “May the Force be with you.” After the game, the jerseys
will be auctioned off to benefit the Autism Society of North Carolina.
Unfortunately for the Bulls, they are far from the first minor league team to
grasp at the brass ring of Star Wars appeal in order to sell tickets. Last
Monday, minor league hockey team the Tulsa Oilers wore jerseys that included
the faces of Star Wars creator George Lucas, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia.
Back in January, the U.S. Under-18 men's national hockey team wore jerseys
featuring Darth Vader and last season, the Triple-A Toledo Mudhens donned
Chewbacca-inspired uniforms. Even the San Francisco Giants have held a Star
Wars Day the their park for years and the team will give away R2-D2 beanie hats
at this year’s event. This one’s for you, dorks…….
- Pollution kills – literally. According to a new World Health Organization report, the toxic sh*t
floating through the air around the world is responsible for approximately 1 in
8 of total global deaths - 7 million deaths annually. The report contradicts previous information on air pollution with a death number that more than
doubles the previous estimate of annual air pollution-caused deaths, making air
pollution now the world's largest single environmental health risk. "The
risks from air pollution are now far greater than previously thought or
understood, particularly for heart disease and strokes," said Dr. Maria
Neira, director of the World Heath Organization's (WHO) Department for Public
Health, Environmental and Social Determinants of Health. "Few risks have a greater impact on global health today than air
pollution; the evidence signals the need for concerted action to clean up the
air we all breathe.” Air pollution does its damage by spurring on the
development of respiratory diseases, but the WHO report also showed a stronger connection
than has previously been reported between air pollution and cardiovascular
disease and cancer. Agency officials contend that their data is more accurate
than previous estimates thanks to an increased knowledge base, as well as improved
technology allowing for better measurements of human exposure to air pollution.
For their research, WHO scientists combined satellite data, ground-level
monitoring measurements, data on pollution emissions and modeling of how
pollution drifts in the air. They placed blame on a well-rounded group of
industries, including transport, energy, waste management and industry. Countries with the most air pollution were the low- and middle-income
countries in the southeast Asia and western Pacific region, meaning China has
reached the top of another list that no one wants to be on. The reality of 4.3
million global deaths being linked to cooking over coal, wood and biomass
stoves is staggering as well, but not that alarming when one realizes many of
those people were likely morons and the Earth is overcrowded as is………..
- Does anyone really care what Sean Combs is calling
himself on a given day? Regardless of which one of his many assumed names Combs
is rocking on a random Thursday in August, he’s still reliable when it comes to
being supremely arrogant, wearing sunglasses indoors and putting out mediocre
hip-pop. That means it should not be news when he reverts to his original stage
name of Puff Daddy for an upcoming album. At this point, Combs isn't exactly at
the top of the rap game and maybe that’s why he’s returning to his old moniker,
hoping that a pointless name change will bring him enough attention to move a
few more copies of his new project, “MMM.” The album is set to drop later this
year and while there is no official release date, a preview of the single “Big
Homie,” which is due for release on March 31 has already been released. It’s a
sad day when so-so recording artists releasing not even a single, but simply a
preview for a single, is news. Both Rick Ross and French Montana appear in the
clip and the album will undoubtedly feature a litany of guest stars. Whenever “MMM”
drops, it will be Combs’ first album of any kind since 2010’s “Last Train to
Paris, which came under the Diddy-Dirty Money heading. It will also be his
first solo album since releasing “Press Play” in 2006 and I think we can all
remember that we have absolutely no idea where we were or what we were doing
when either of those albums hit the market. Those who pay attention to
narcissistic name changes by rich, successful entertainment personalities know
full well that Combs has operated under the name Diddy for almost a decade and
was briefly known as P. Diddy before that. Even without a new album, Combs was
named hip-hop's biggest moneymaker in 2013. If his new album is as uninspired
as most of his work, odds are he’ll sell more than enough copies to repeat the
feat this year……..
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