Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Proper robbery tools, Chael Sonnen's talent for being beaten up and a crappy music festival


- Who’s ready for the comet of the century and a bizarre type of meteor shower? Earth could get both later this year when the comet ISON passes by, potentially bringing with it an odd meteor shower formed by the dust sloughed off by the comet's tail. Meteor scientist Paul Wiegert the University of Western Ontario believes the meteor shower could be unique. "Instead of burning up in a flash of light, they [the particles] will drift gently down to the Earth below," Wiegert said. He postulated that the specks of dust will be travelling at a speed of 125,000 mph before slowing to a halt once they hit the Earth's atmosphere. If that occurs, observers on the ground probably won't be able to see the meteors as they fall through the atmosphere. "Don't expect to notice," NASA officials said of the shower in a press release. "The invisible rain of comet dust, if it occurs, would be very slow. It can take months or even years for fine dust to settle out of the high atmosphere." Yes, an invisible rain of comet dust. It sounds like the pretentious album name of an über-pretentious indie/hipster rock band, but this time it could be reality as well. NASA is taking a more pragmatic approach, but officials admit that a brilliant light show is possible because the dust from ISON could create "noctilucent clouds" — icy night-shining clouds above the Earth's poles that glow blue. "Electric-blue ripples over Earth's polar regions might be the only visible sign that a shower is underway," NASA officials said. Presently, ISON is winding its way through the solar system, headed toward the sun. Its closest path to the universe’s source of light is expected to be 730,000 miles. NASA's Swift spacecraft spotted the comet in January when the speeding chunk of rock was discharging more than 112,000 pounds of dust every minute as it passed Jupiter. Wiegert then did a series of calculations to determine where the dust might end up on Earth's orbit and if he’s right, the results could be fun to watch…….


- Give Chael Sonnen credit. He knows what he’s good at and he’s found a way to get paid a lot of money for it. Granted, what he’s good at and what people enjoy seeing is him getting his face caved in while inside a giant mesh cage, but a living is a living. Sonnen, the resident loudmouth/punching bag of UFC’s light-heavyweight division, talked himself into a title bout with reigning champion Jon Jones at UFC 159 in Newark, N.J. He showed up and absorbed a beating at the Prudential Center, suffering first-round TKO at 4:33 of the first round. Jones controlled the fight by taking Sonnen to the ground and unloading and although Sonnen tried to get back on his feet, Jones kept putting him on the mat. After the fourth takedown of the fight, Jones kept him on the ground and began abusing Sonnen with his trademark elbows, battering the challenger’s face over and over until the referee Keith Peterson had no choice but to end the fight. Jones won even though he suffered a broken left toe during the fight. He was unaware of the injury during the fight, but the fact that his toe was contorted into an unnatural shape should have been a clue. "I wasn't planning on breaking my big toe," Jones said. "I wanted to outwrestle Chael Sonnen." He admitted that Sonnen’s absurd amount of unjustified smack prior to the fight had him in a vengeful frame of mind and that some of his rage was channeled to his performance inside the octagon. "I was just trying to get back at Chael Sonnen. I really wanted to silence Chael Sonnen and I think I did the job,” Jones added. Of course, the odds of anyone silencing Sonnen are slim. The only reason Sonnen, with a career record of 27-13-1, still gets good fights and makes money to do battle in a place where he is nowhere close to championship level is because of his mouth. Hearing Sonnen talk is entertaining, usually more entertaining than what happens when it gets inside the octagon. Finding someone who believed Sonnen would prevent Jones from successfully defending his title for the fifth consecutive time was virtually impossible in the weeks leading up to the fight and it was obviously with good reason…….


- Climbing Mount Everest is already one of the most thrilling endeavors a person can undertake. The whole “staring an icy death in the face for days on end to reach the top of the world’s tallest mountain” is pretty exciting, more than enough excitement for the most avid thrill seeker. But there is always someone out there looking to push boundaries and shatter the paradigm and that’s when you have awesome stories like a group of European climbers brawling with Sherpas on the slopes of the world’s most-famous peak. This riveting tale broke over the weekend after three Europeans, from Italy, Switzerland and the U.K., threw hands with the famed local guides known for shepherding climbers up the mountain. The three Europeans were headed for Camp 3 at about 23,600 feet on the 29,035-foot mountain on Saturday, but their trip went haywire when they crossed a fixed line being put in place by the Sherpa climbers. A statement issued by Italian climber Simone Moro’s explained how the Westerners had injured another local climber by knocking ice down onto him. According to Moro’s statement, about 100 Sherpas later attacked the three Westerners at Camp 2, lower down the mountain. Punches were thrown, kicks were delivered and the offensive explorers also received death threats. Another group of climbers ultimately intervened and the three climbers headed down to Base Camp by a “circuitous route.” “The climbers believe that the lead Sherpa was tired and cold and felt that his pride had been damaged as the three climbers were moving unroped and much faster to the side of him," the statement said. “Whatever the reason may be, there is no reason to instigate vigilante rule and to try and kill three visiting climbers.” The culprit in sparking the incident appears to have been Briton Jonathan Griffith, who allegedly crossed the line of rope being fixed by the Sherpas. Swiss climber Ueli Steck did the same and from there, it was on. The Sherpas went nuts and with both ice and fists flying, a small initial altercation gave way to the massive brawl in camp later in the day. Offending Sherpas is generally a bad idea because they know the mountain like no one else and are a key to safely traversing its peaks, but knowing that they are also “Likes to Fight” guy adds another reason to the list of why to stay on their good side……..


- Get your tickets now, fans of crappy music. The second annual edition of the Mixtape Festival is coming to Hersey, Pa. on July 26-27 and this year’s collection of musical rejects is truly stupefying. One of the primary acts is reunited man band New Men on the Block and they will be joined by Man band 2.0, a.k.a. the Jonas Brothers. If those were the two headliners, it would already be an astonishing collection of awful artists, but wait, there’s more. The festival will also feature the long-awaited reunion of ‘90s girl-pop group TLC, or at least the two living members of the group. Those two would be Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins and Rozanda "Chili" Thomas, who will get their act back together for their first extensive outing since the death of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes
 more than a decade ago. "We are so thrilled to bring back the Mixtape Festival to Hershey," Live Nation spokesperson Geoff Gordon said in a statement that seems to indicate that he hasn’t actually seen the lineup for his own festival. "There's an incredible lineup and tons of interactive and fun activities, all while being set at a world-class amusement park -- it's really a pop music lover’s dream.” Also on the schedule are mainstream pop acts Train, the Script, OneRepublic, Hanson, along with Run-DMC co-founder Rev Run & DJ Ruckus – the latter two seemingly having signed up for the wrong festival. When talk of a TLC reunion has taken place in the past, Watkins and Thomas have suggested that they might project Lopes on a screen while piping in her vocals. They played what was billed as their farewell concert in 2003, but have played sporadic dates since. Come one, come all for a truly awful collection of pop waste sure to assail the ears and torment your other senses as well……..


- West Haven, Conn. robber Michael Peterson needs to reconsider his choice of tools. Peterson, part-time aspiring criminal genius but full-time idiot, decided to start his criminal enterprise at the bottom with a good ol’-fashioned convenience store robbery. He held up Sam's Food Mart in West Haven and he didn’t come unarmed. No, he showed up with his trusty saw. A clerk at the convenience store called 911 to report that a white male wearing a mask was acting suspiciously. Wearing a mask was probably a tip-off, as is brandishing a hand saw. Police learned about the saw when a second emergency call came in while they were en route to the scene and during that time, their suspect brandished his saw, threatened the store clerk and stole the cash register. Yes….the whole cash register. Peterson then fled the scene in a Chevrolet pickup truck and tried to make his getaway on I-95 North. He was eventually tracked down after exiting onto Route 1 in New Haven and now faces multiple felonies including robbery, larceny and engaging pursuit. While being located by the police was inevitable given that he seems to be not that bright, one can’t help but think how much more successful Peterson could have been had he only shown up for his robbery with a more impressive tool – a chainsaw. A hand saw says, “Hey there, I’m a rustic kook who lives a simple life with a simple mind and no one trusts me with a real power tool.” A chainsaw says, “I’m insane, I’ve seen one too many horror movies and I enjoy hacking limbs and heads off, so give me all your money and get the hell out of my way.” Plus, a chainsaw gives you a chance to cut your way out of your own vehicle after a police chase results in you wrapping said vehicle around a telephone pole or a stately oak in the forest………..

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