Sunday, April 14, 2013

A gifted camel becomes dinner, planet-naming rip-offs and pot brownies at school


- The cool kids go to school at TeWinkle Middle School, an Orange County institution of learning that imparts some very valuable lessons to its students. The lesson this past week was the ever-vital one that at some point in life, most people will work with some combination of a mischievous stoner and a disgruntled co-worker looking to exact some revenge on their office mates by baking some of their best chron into brownies or cookies and bringing said dessert items to work, leaving them in the break room. Three TMS students also learned firsthand how much fun getting high can be – and they even received a free trip to the hospital to boot. All three of the students were taken to a local hospital in Costa Mesa, with the first two seventh graders going to the school office around 12:40 p.m. Wednesday, complaining of stomach problems, according to school officials. A third student, who clearly has a higher (pun intended) tolerance for the hippie lettuce and maybe should answer a few more questions about his or her previous experience with the wacky weed, went to the office complaining of similar symptoms a short time later. Newport-Mesa Unified School District spokeswoman Laura Boss said only that two other students are being investigated in the incident and that the student suspected of bringing the brownie to school was not among those transported to the hospital. Well of course he or she wasn’t because that student obviously has some solid experience with pot and knows how to handle it, not to mention the fact that an experienced stoner is not going to get baked at school, where teachers and principals can totally harsh their buzz. In a typical alarmist overreaction, the district sent out a notification to parents around 1:30 p.m., alerting them to the situation. There may be a problem regarding pot in Costa Mesa, as seven students at Pomona Elementary School, also in Costa Mesa, were hospitalized last month after a student brought a brownie laced with marijuana to school. School bake sales must be a blast in this district………


- What were America’s future CEO’s doing on Saturday night? Some of them, believe it or not, were not trying to blow as much of their trust fund as possible on their latest racially offensive, Ivy League fraternity theme party or worrying that dad might repossess their Bentley because they’re headed for a 2.4 GPA this semester. These fine, upstanding citizens were busy smashing other dudes’ faces into giant glass panes and using long sticks to beat the living hell out of other people. That’s right, Yale won its first NCAA hockey championship, defeating top-seeded Quinnipiac 4-0 in a game played at Pittsburgh’s Mellon Arena. Goalie Jeff Malcolm stopped 36 shots and Clinton Bourbonais, Charles Orzetti, Andrew Miller and Jesse Root scored for the Bulldogs (22-12-3), who bested their Connecticut rivals after losing to the Bobcats three times during the regular season. In the process, they stunned the nation's No. 1 team and secured their first national championship in one of the only sports where they have any hope whatsoever of actually winning a national championship. Bourbonais scored what proved to be the game-winning goal with 4 seconds left in the second period and Yale added three more tallies in the third period to win going away. Their four goals against Quinnipiac's Eric Hartzell, a Hobey Baker finalist (think Heisman Trophy for college hockey) were impressive, but maybe not as impressive as the Yale students who dared to lower themselves to travel to a blue-collar, Rust Belt city such as Pittsburgh not having to resort to their patented, “That’s all right, that’s OK, you’re gonna work for us some day” chant………


- Are naming rights battles over outer space entities still an issue? Really? Other than the poor fools still gullible enough to believe that $50 sent to some bogus company with no more clout in space than the kid who mows their lawn and assume that means they have a star named after them, who buys into any of that nonsense? Clearly some folks do, because the International Astronomical Union (IAU) has some drama on its hands. The IAU issued a reminder Friday that it is the only body authorized to give exoplanets their official names, a direct response to recent naming initiatives by companies like Uwingu. Organization leaders said in their statement that planet-naming schemes have "no bearing on the official naming process," and reiterated the necessity of maintaining a unified procedure for naming such objects. While not mentioning Uwingu (whose name means "sky" in Swahili) by name, the IAU statement referred only to a "recent name-selling campaign." Uwingu, which is relatively new, launched an initiative last month calling on the public to name the nearest Alpha Centauri Bb — an exoplanet 4.3 light-years from Earth — as part of a fundraising campaign. The Baby Planet Name Book campaign is built around the idea of informally replacing lame-tastic planet names such as HD 85512b or Gliese 667Cc with better monikers. The underlying aim, according to Uwingu, is to raise money for space research, exploration and education. In order to get scammed by these fools, all a person needs to do is pay 99 cents to vote for their preferred planet name on the list. The Uwingu contest began in March and runs through April 15. Its purpose is to name Alpha Centauri Bb, the newfound Earth-sized planet in the star system closest to our own.  Uwingu officials claim they will use the money raised by the project to support research efforts like SETI's (the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) Allen Telescope Array in California, as well as space launches and science outreach. One factor working in Uwingu’s favor is that its CEO, Alan Stern, is also a planetary scientist who also leads NASA's New Horizons spacecraft's mission to Pluto. He’s having none of the IAU’s outer space naming block. "The IAU can't prohibit what it does not control. People's Choice naming contests and the colloquial naming of objects in space are unrelated to the IAU's purview of specifying nomenclature for astronomers," Stern said. "The IAU no more owns the right to control the naming of objects in space for popular purposes than does a county that controls street naming have the right to deny people in the county who the right to adopt a mile of highway in someone's honor." In other words, keep sending your money, suckers………


- Jackie Robinson’s story was tops at the box office this weekend, championing the earnings list with a $27.2 million effort in its debut frame. It was part of a 1-2 punch of new films to summit the list, outdueling the parody comedy “Scary Movie 5,” a film made with the lowest of standards and a low budget as well ($20 million. “Scary Movie 5” garnered $15.1 million in its first frame, beating out “The Croods” for second place. “Croods” claimed third with $13.2 million and through four weeks, has banked $142.5 million in domestic earnings. “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” dipped two spots to fourth, bringing in another $10.8 million in its third weekend to up its overall take to $102.4 million and counting. Last weekend’s top film, “Evil Dead,” plummeted all the way to fifth, seeing its numbers drop 63 percent and bringing in just $9.5 million for a two-week total of $41.5 million. “Jurassic Park 3D” likewise was way down from last weekend, adding $8.8 million to its overall domestic bank roll of $31.9 million. “Olympus Has Fallen” took a two-spot fall to seventh with $7.2 million and its four-week earnings now stand at $82 million. “Oz The Great and Powerful” ranked eighth and its $4.9 million weekend lifted its overall earnings to $219.4 million. Ninth place belonged to “Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor” with $4.5 million for a three-week tally of $45.4 million. “The Place Beyond the Pines” rounded out the top 10 despite remaining in limited release, raking in $4 million in just 514 theaters across the United States for a three-week haul of $5.5 million. “The Host” (No. 11), “The Call” (No. 12) and “Admission” (No. 14) all dropped out from last weekend’s top 10…….


- There is good news for French President Francois Hollande. After receiving heartbreaking news that the camel given to him by Malian authorities that he left with a family in Timbuktu was killed and eaten by that family, Hollande will receive a replacement camel. The original beast of burden was a gift in thanks for helping repel Islamist rebels and because a French president may have trouble transporting a camel home to his country, Hollande left the camel in Timbuktu to be cared for by a family there. Either the family misunderstood his instructions or chose to ignore them because someone got a little hungry, because the camel became a main course within a matter of weeks after Hollande was presented with the camel when he visited Mali in February. Upon learning that the camel had been consumed, a local government official in northern Mali said a replacement would be sent to France. "As soon as we heard of this, we quickly replaced it with a bigger and better-looking camel," said the official, speaking on condition of anonymity. “The new camel will be sent to Paris. We are ashamed of what happened to the camel. It was a present that did not deserve this fate.” Malian leaders are obviously appreciate of the efforts of French troops dispatched to the country’s former colony to help combat al Qaeda-linked fighters moving south from a base in the north of the country. Hollande initially joked about using his new animal as a way to get around traffic-jammed Paris, but ultimately left it with a family in the town on the edge of the Sahara desert. Defense Minister Jean-Yves Le Drian kept Hollande updated on the camel’s fate and had the regrettable task of informing him of its death last week………

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