- We’ve all be there. A trip through the ordering line at
the local sandwich shop ends with a butchered order that doesn’t even remotely
resemble what you ordered. It would have been just as effective if you had
ordered in Yiddish. So what is a person to do with their mis-made sando? The
obvious answer, as clearly demonstrated by Greatful Deli patron Rother McLennon, is
pulling out your iPhone or Android and dialing those three numbers everyone
knows to call in the event of an emergency: 911. McLennon was at the East
Hartford, Conn. sandwich shop on Wednesday when his order of turkey, ham and
cheese sando went awry. From there….well, let’s allow his now-legendary 911
call to tell the story. “I specifically asked for little turkey, and little
ham, a lot of cheese and a lot of mayonnaise and they are giving me a hard
time," MeLennon says on the call. "I wonder if you can stop by and
just…” At that point, the 911 operator interrupts him just to clarify the
reason for his call. “You’re calling 911 because you don’t like way that
they’re making your sandwich?” the dispatcher asks. "Exactly,” says
McLennon, clearly oblivious to the incredulity on the other end of the line.
The quick-thinking dispatcher offered a reasonable solution that of course,
McLennon had no use for. “So, then, don’t buy it,” the dispatcher
countered. From there, a bigger issue came to the forefront. Undeterred by
sound logic, McLennon explained that he was fearful the shop would not make his
sandwich to his specific request in the future. “I mean, I just want to solve
this the right way,” he said. “My sister made it, but she left. They are
playing games with me, so I was just wondering if you could come by,” he said.
“I just want it resolved and I want to be able to come back here and get the regular
sandwich that I ask for.” At that point, the dispatcher should have hung up on
him, but instead she reiterated the point that McLennon should simply not buy
the sandwich. The shop’s owner, Tila Azinheira, claimed McLennon placed a phone
order for 14 sandwiches and he then refused to buy them even though he was
informed the shop could not take the sandwiches back because they were special
orders. What a perfect example of why 911 exists……….
- Samuel L. Jackson, your next movie idea has been
gift-wrapped by pure chance. What better role could there be for a man who
fronted the single most obvious, true-to-title movies ever made, the
horrifically unwatchable “Snakes on a Plane,” than the lead role of a movie set
in Vietnam in which poisonous snakes
escaped from a bag and slithered across the floor of a bus in the capital city
of Hanoi? The incident occurred Friday, when six poisonous snakes got loose on
the bus, sparking screams and leading to a hurried evacuation. No passengers
were bitten by the snakes and a police officer said passengers and villagers
killed all of the highly venomous kraits after the bus made a quick stop in
Quang Nam province. There were 14 passengers aboard the bus, which was traveling
from Quang Nam to Binh Dinh. The police officer, speaking on condition of
anonymity, explained that a person who was not a passenger put the bag on the
bus and paid the driver to transport it. The legality of that arrangement
wasn’t immediately clear, but the sheer stupidity definitely was. Whether the snakes
were supposed to be sold as pets, served as a delicacy the way snakes often are
in some Vietnamese restaurants or used as an ingredient in traditional liquors,
dropping them on a bus full of unsuspecting passengers and expecting them to
stay inside a bag is imbecilic at best. If only Jackson had been there with a
gun or machete to cope with the snakes, the problem could have been solved much
quicker and with significantly less panic………
- PING! Yes sports fans, it’s time once again for the
College World Series and the sounds of baseballs pinging off rocket launchers
disguised as metal bats. This year’s CWS features two Cinderella stories making
their first trip to the event, Stony Brook and Kent State. With both teams
entering as decided underdogs against six other powerful opponents, the two
squads will need all the support they can get and one of Kent State’s most
famous alumni is doing his part to ensure that Golden Flashes fans can make the
trip to Omaha. Cleveland Browns wide receiver and former Kent State quarterback
Josh Cribbs has chartered a bus for fans to take to Omaha. "I'm going to do my part in sure those
guys have a fan base out there cheering for them," Cribbs said.
"This is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity." Cribbs also purchased tickets to the Golden Flashes’ first
CWS game on Saturday against Arkansas and a message on
his website announced packages for $150 per person and including a hotel room
on Friday night, beverages and snack on the bus. Cribbs didn’t say if he would
be flying to Omaha for the game from Berea, where the Browns are wrapping up a
mini-camp. "I'm trying to be there to support my team," he said.
"I love that they're giving us something to cheer for, especially during this offseason." Kent
State has ripped through national powers like Purdue and Oregon to reach Omaha,
becoming the first Mid-American Conference team to make it to the World Series
since Eastern Michigan in 1976.
They earned their spot among the nation’s final eight teams with a 3-2 win on
Monday night, beating host Oregon on a bloop double in the bottom of the ninth
inning. Cribbs recalled watching the game on television while getting a
message. "My masseuse was like, 'Do you want me to stop real quick? I was
jumping around. 'They did it!" he said. "They had me on pins and
needles. I turned back from the game, they were getting me too stressed out
while I was getting stretched and massaged. It was too tense. Then when
(Oregon) came back, I couldn't look. It was epic." Epic is a description
rarely ascribed to college baseball…………
- Sun’s out, guns out. For Wayne Ivey, a former agent with the Florida
Department of Law Enforcement, and candidate for sheriff in Brevard County,
Fla., that slogan has taken on new meaning. Ivey is gunning for the top law
enforcement spot in Brevard County and this weekend, his campaign will invite
voters out for some sun-drenched fun with sniper rifles. The idea seems fairly
illogical given that police spend much of their time dealing with crimes
committed by people with guns, but in the quest to become sheriff, Ivey is
firing all of the bullets in his clip. He has the endorsement of current
Sheriff Jack Parker, who is retiring at the end of this term, but isn't resting
on his laurels. The invitation has gone out for "Shoot with Wayne
Ivey," an event billed as "Firearms, Food and Fun," all in
exchange for a $25 campaign
contribution. Those who want to come out and shoot the hell out of inanimate
objects with their (potential) future sheriff need only bring themselves and
their zeal for firearms to the west end of Timbers West Boulevard from noon to 4 p.m. Saturday. There, they
will be able to enjoy safety skills demonstrations, specialty weapons and a top
shot competition. They can also squeeze off a few rounds with Ivey. But a Facebook
user asked a good question on the event’s page: Will you need to bring your own
ammo? The emphatic response: No, guns
and ammunition will be provided. Awesome news, indeed. Oh, and no children
under 15 will be allowed at the event, for safety reasons. Ivey is facing current
sheriff's Lt. Todd Maddox in a primary election in August and the winner will
face Democrat Adrian Moss Beasley, currently a Brevard County deputy, in
November. Both men should be advised that Ivey is gunning for them……….
- Call Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger a realist or insist he’s missing the point, but either way,
the tip-frosting Neanderthal of a rock frontman has admitted that his band has
no chance of ever being nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Nickelhack,
which is universally loathed by critics and many music fans with vitriol
normally reserved for international war criminals, released their
seventh studio album “Here And Now”
on November 21 last year. They have been targets for many of their peers in
recent months, including The Black Keys,
who said that they believed "rock n' roll was dying because people were OK
with Nickelback being the biggest rock band in the world." Kroeger
constantly answers questions about why people hate his band and maybe the
lesson is finally sinking in – or not. "We may be dead by then but I think
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame will probably show up the same time as our first
Grammy," he proclaimed recently. The reference to the Rock and Roll Hall
of Fame is interesting because on one hand, the Bick should not be anywhere
close to anything that honors artists for good music. However, that’s not what
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is about. It’s basically a punchline at this
point, a catchall for artists who have sold a lot of albums, regardless of
their genre. Rappers, disco artists and pop singers are all members of the hall
and right around the time Donna Summer and the Bee Gees were inducted, the Hall
lost all real musical meaning. So in that sense, it just might be the perfect
place for Bickelnack. Kroeger also laughed at the petition Detroit fans started
to prevent them from performing at halftime of the Thanksgiving Day NFL game between
the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, conveniently ignoring
the fact that the petition was the second such effort by fans of a professional
sports franchise. The Bick is currently on the road torturing
audiences/promoting “Here and Now” and will cross the Atlantic to torture
British people with their music beginning October 1 at London's O2 Arena………..
No comments:
Post a Comment