Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Guns for goodwill, Octo-Skank has standards and goggles to help the FAT

- In a stunning twist, the Octo-Skank actually believes she has standards. Nadya Suleman, the woman who rode her ability to procreate without having any concern for how she might support her eight children who are cursed with a train wreck of a human being for a mother, may be fulfilling her destiny of ending up in porn, but that doesn’t mean she has no self-respect. She doesn’t actually have self-respect, but her lying down and taking some from strangers on camera for money doesn’t mean she’ll do anything if you pay her enough, according to Suleman. To supplement her porn income, Suleman was scheduled to join the coke-addled, daddy issues-having pole workers at T's Lounge in Palm Beach, Fla. next month. According to sources familiar with the situation, Suleman was to go topless at the club. However her agent (yes, she has one) Gina Rodriguez confirmed Tuesday that her client has pulled out of the deal because she believed club employees were talking junk about her. According to Rodriguez, the breaking point was a local news interview with a club bartender who said the Octo-Skank has "a lot of mouths to feed so it was only a matter of time" before she started stripping. It was just about the most accurate observation the poor bartender could have made, but Suleman didn’t like it, nor did she appreciate the bartender speculating on her sanity. "She must be a little crazy, normal people don't have that many children," he added. Again, nothing this guy said was false. Sometimes the truth stings and for Suleman, it clearly felt like the backhanded slap across the face someone should have administered to her right around the time she cracked the three-child barrier. She could obviously stop trying to pretend that she’s not a mentally deficient skank who has made the world a worse place and doomed her kids to a life of suffering, but what fun would that be? Instead of embracing a manager at the club implying she might go fully nude and do lap dances for the right price, Suleman continues to fight against her inevitable fate………….


- Flying into or out of Tripoli's international airport remains arguably the riskiest proposition in air travel.  That will happen when armed Libyan brigades are surrounding it and forcing flights to be diverted to the capital's military airport before withdrawing. The militia, called al-Awfea Brigade from the town of Tarhouna, 50 miles southeast of Tripoli, staged its temporary takeover to demand the release of one of its leaders, who they claimed disappeared last night. The sight of angry militia members with heavy weapons alarmed travelers for some reason and caused significant panic at the airport. "It is total confusion. Everyone is fleeing. Several armored vehicles and tanks are positioned on the tarmac, blocking traffic," an official said. "Cars mounted with antiaircraft guns and armed men are surrounding the aircraft and preventing them from moving," another official confirmed. Militia members forced passengers to leave the planes, but did not show any interest in taking hostages or harming anyone. Local tribal leaders and officials rushed to the airport to resolve the standoff and whatever was said, the militia ultimately withdrew. The man they want returned to them is Awfea head Col. Abu Oegeila al-Hebeishi, who was kidnapped by unknown armed rebels while traveling between Tarhouna and Tripoli late Tuesday night, according to ruling National Transitional Council spokesman Mohammed al-Harizy. The militia doesn’t seem to accept that explanation and seeing them hijack an entire airport again in the near future wouldn’t be that surprising………..


- There are still individuals with good hearts in the world, seeking to make a positive difference for others. Those good souls do charitable things like donate a variety of items to local thrift stores and charities. They give away appliances, clothes, tools……and firearms. Sadly, one entry on that list wasn’t welcomed by the good folks at the Miracle Hill Thrift Store in Spartanburg, S.C. As employees sorted through a new round of donations on Tuesday, one item in particular stood out from the rest. Manager Andrew Wolff was in his office when an employee notified him that he had a gun under a pile of clothes while sorting through boxes. "Lifted some clothes out of the way and found the revolver," Wolff said. The employee showed him the unloaded .38 caliber gun and rather than simply be grateful that some unselfish person had willingly (and perhaps accidentally) given away their firearm so a person who couldn’t walk into a gun or sporting goods store and buy a new one could buy it at a discounted price, Wolff overreacted and called the police. Asked why his chain of thrift stores doesn’t deal in guns, area operations manager Mark Steenback insisted the focus is on standard, boring thrift store items. "Clothing is a big one and then just any gently used household items," Steenback explained. "We're able to sell those to people that are in need and also take those revenues and help the people who are in need in our community.” Right, and what’s more helpful than a nice, gently used .38 caliber gun. Sheriff’s deputies said they had no reports of a gun matching the description of the one found at the thrift store being stolen. Wolff insisted the gun was far from the most bizarre item he’s seen donated at the store. "The craziest thing is sitting on my desk right now," he said. "Here are three carcasses of American mink. Head, eyes, nose feet and all." Yes, but those minks are nowhere near as cool as a working gun………..


- Still dream of owning your very own professional sports franchise or having one in your hometown? If losing money is your idea of fun, then keep that dream alive. Lots of money, that is. The (for now) Phoenix Coyotes have been in ownership limbo for months now and the NHL believes it is close to resolving the fate of the franchise. Former San Jose Sharks CEO Greg Jamison seems to be the top choice for buying the team and keeping it in the Glendale area, but even a deep run in the playoffs and a rich new owner lurking may not be enough to make the Coyotes profitable. Even if the Coyotes are able to replicate their success for an insanely long period of time, THAT might not be enough to make them profitable. According to local news reports, a projection of the Coyotes’ financial situation showed that even if the Coyotes went to the Stanley Cup Finals for the next 20 seasons and the Jobing.com Arena in Glendale booked 30 sold-out concerts each year for the next 20 years, Glendale could still expect to lose about $9 million annually. Factor in the city’s annual arena debt payments, which will average about $12.6 million a year over the next 20 years, and the picture becomes that much uglier. Glendale Mayor Elaine Scruggs doesn’t sound like she’s on board with that dire future. She has argued that next year’s budgeted $17 million arena management fee is too steep and said she cannot support the new ownership deal. Scruggs pointed out that the city “won’t see the construction of new city facilities or park upgrades for at least the next five years.” Opponents argue that the city is going to lose money one way or the other and that the new deal will mitigate those losses. The forecast remains murky with so much money and so many egos involved, but the end result is going to be extremely painful for someone…………


- Tokyo University professor Michitaka Hirose and his team are looking to ride to the aid of the FAT. They just might have found a way to help overeaters cut down on their consumption, assuming that consumption includes only round objects. Their creation is a camera-equipped special goggle that makes objects appear larger and tricks the mind into thinking a person has consumed more food than they actually have. Hirose conducted an experiment, asking participants to eat as many cookies as they wanted, first with and then without the glasses. The goggles, which make biscuits or round cookies like Oreos, appear larger, led to subjects eating 9.3 percent less on average with the goggle showing cookies 1.5 times bigger than they actually are and 15 percent more with cookies looking two-thirds of their real size. By sending images to a computer that magnifies the apparent size of the cookie in the image it displays to the wearer while keeping his hand the same size, the goggles are able to make the snack appear larger than it actually is. How much consumption declined in the experiment depended upon how much the biscuits or cookies were magnified. In the experiment, volunteers consumed nearly 10 percent less when the biscuits they were eating appeared 50 percent bigger. "How to fool various senses or how to build on them using computers is very important in the study of virtual reality," Hirose said. "Reality is in your mind.” He views the goggles as a significant improvement over standard virtual reality equipment, which is often bulky and heavy. There is also a variation on the goggles which Hirose's team called a "meta cookie.” The headgear uses scent bottles and visual trickery to fool the wearer into thinking the plain biscuit they are consuming it something much more appealing, like chocolate or strawberry-flavored cookie. Using this trickery, the research team has been able to fool 80 percent of subjects are fooled. They naively insist they have no plans to commercialize their invention (yet) and want to focus on whether obese people wanting to lose weight can use the device……….

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