- The Miami Dolphins got stepped on and spat on Sunday in Baltimore, depending upon whom you believe. Well, the stomped on part isn’t up for debate, but the spitting side of the equation is. On one side of the debate is Miami Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder, who went off in the locker room after the game and accused Baltimore Ravens fullback Le'Ron McClain of spitting in his face during the third quarter of Sunday's game at M&T Bank Stadium. Using a string of profanities that can’t really be shared here, Crowder ranted about McClain and the officials in such vehement fashion that teammate Jake Long pleaded with a team media relations representative to stop Crowder from speaking. "I just got told not to talk about it, so I can't talk about it," Crowder initially replied when asked about his confontation with McClain. When the subject came up again, he said, But Le'Ron McClain spit in my face. He spit in my face. That's some real s---. So if you talk to him, tell him he's a ho. And if he ever comes to Miami, he's got to see me." Point made. Now, let’s go to the Ravens locker room for a response. McClain denied the allegation, saying, "We got into a little head-butt competition, but no spit, man," McClain said. but Ravens receiver Derrick Mason ripped Crowder. "You have to be able in this sport to be able to back up what you talk, and for some reason this guy every time he says something he doesn't back it up," Mason said. "He's not a marquee player. I don't think they even want him on this team, but they have no one to replace him. So he has to be there. He's in the game, and he's getting knocked down. He's getting pushed out of the way. The guy is horrible. Honestly, the guy is horrible. He's probably a good guy. Not taking that away from him, but he's horrible. He's not a good football player. Honestly, he needs to go back and watch the film and humble himself and not say anything." And counterpoint made. But the real standout quote from the story has to be Crowder mistakenly invoking the name of the most famous Jewish casualty from the Nazi regime’s systematic persecution and murdering of Jews during World War II. That’s right, dude went with an Anne Frank blast. “Like they didn't see [Dolphins quarterback] Chad Henne get hit twice when he slid. Yeah, a little Stevie Wonder and Anne Frank," Crowded barked. When a reporter asked him about the Anne Frank reference, he answered, "Who was that? Is that the blind girl? Helen Keller ... I don't know who the f--- Anne Frank is. I'm mad right now. F--- it. I'm not as swift as I usually am.” Let me help you with that, C., since I visited the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam this summer and saw where she and her family hid for many months while trying to evade Nazi police. Anne Frank is a brave young girl who chronicled her experiences hiding in that house in Amsterdam and whose journals have become incredibly well-read in decades since because she was eventually captured and killed in a concentration camp. Helen Keller was a blind, deaf girl who eventually learned how to read and write. But hey, you were mad, so who cares about historical and factual accuracy………
- Someone had to step up and stop the mindless ass hats from Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kan., so the world owes a big “thank you” to residents of Weston, Mo. and all of the outsiders who banded together to make sure that jackass pastor Fred Phelps and his sycophants could not show up and do what they always do, namely turn funerals for brave, fallen American soldiers and turn them into a hateful, angry and misplaced display of anti-gay sentiment. While there certainly is a time and place for Christians to speak out against homosexuality, the funeral of a U.S. military member who has given his or her life in battle is not that place. Phelps and his moronic followers apparently spend no time actually reading the very Bible they claim to defend and believe that the deaths of Americans in battle are God’s punishment for gays in the U.S. Phelps' church has held more than 44,000 pickets at funerals and other events – including the services of fallen service members. They always point to their First Amendment right to protest, ignoring the fact that just because you have a legal right to do something doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Phelps and his brain-dead congregation say they use funerals as an “available public platform” to “deliver the message that there is a consequence for sin.” What consequence is that? That you will have a bunch of idiotic ass clowns show up and turn a solemn, mournful event to mark the passing of a brave service member into a political statement and photo op? Thankfully, residents of Weston heard about Phelps’ plan to lead a protest at the funeral of Sgt. First Class C.J. Sadell, who died from injuries suffered during a surprise attack in Afghanistan, and they came up with a plan of their own. Hundreds of Weston residents and even visitors from as far away as California and Australia showed up early Saturday morning to take up every available parking spot near the funeral site so that Phelps and his blindly-following followers from being able to get anywhere near the service. "I'd say probably half the people in Weston are here," veteran Marine Eric Moser said. "We got everybody here early so we could take up all the parking spots," said Rebecca Rooney, who organized the supporters. "We did that so Mr. Phelps wouldn't have a contingency that was really close.” My only beef there…..don’t call Phelps “Mr.” because that tool doesn’t deserve that sort of respect………
- For everyone who bashes Will Ferrell movies and says that he a) can’t act and b) churns out some of the worst movies ever made……the numbers would suggest that most people don’t agree with you. Of course, numbers don’t always tell the entire story. Tons of terrible bands and artists have sold millions of copies of their albums and man bands like Backstreet Town Degrees Sync on the Block had a lot of financial success during their heyday. However, movies tend to stand up to the numbers test slightly better because they have a short shelf life and if they are truly bad, they fizzle out quickly, as opposed to an album that can remain on store shelves indefinitely. So Ferrell’s The Other Guys making $119 million suggests that he can make successful movies and even though he contributed only his vocal talents to Pixar’s Megamind, he did voice the film’s lead character and the movie did top the box office this weekend with $47.7 million. The movie opened in nearly 4,000 theaters and beat out the Robert Downey Jr.-led Due Date, which came in second in its debut weekend by tallying $33.5 million. They were followed - at a safe distance - by another newcomer, Lionsgate Films’ For Colored Girls, which raked in $20.1 million for a third-place finish in its opening frame. Fourth place went to geezer action/spy comedy Red, which declined 17.4 percent, made $8.9 million and raised its cumulative total to $71.9 million after a month in theaters. The fifth-place film for the weekend was last weekend’s top-earning movie, Saw 3-D, which plummeted 63.6 percent because a) it sucks and b) it wasn’t Halloween weekend this weekend and made a scant $8.2 million to elevate its running tally to $38.8 million after two weeks of release. The rest of the top 10 included: Paranormal Activity 2 (No. 6 with $7.3 million and a cumulative total of $77.2 million and counting), Jackass 3-D (No. 7 with $5.1 million and an overall earnings total of $111 million), Hereafter (No. 8 with just over $4 million and $28.7 million for its first four weeks), Secretariat (No. 9 with $4 million in its fifth weekend of release) and The Social Network (No. 10 with $3.6 million as it continued to inch its way out of the top 10, having made $85 million thus far). On the outside looking in were the detestably bad Life as We Know it, which was eighth last weekend, and Fox Searchlight’s Conviction, which popped up to the tenth spot last weekend but dropped back out of the top 10 for a No. 12 finish this weekend……….
- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! The world’s favorite overview of social dissidence ‘round the globe takes special delight in all Cuban uprisings because……well, outside of China, there might not be a regime less friendly to anti-government sentiment than the Government that Fidel Built. That makes the actions of wives and mothers of Cuba's most prominent political prisoners on Sunday all the more impressive. These brave ladies marched through the Havana, the island nation’s capital city, demanding the government honor an agreement to release their loved ones by the end of the day. The Cuban government had promised to set the men free, but has shown no signs of doing so. Protestors warned that if the government welched on its promise, it would face more protests and international condemnation. Puppet President Raul Castro, ruling theoretically but taking orders from former presidente and big brother Fidel, is the one who would need to okay the release of the prisoners, but he does not appear inclined to do so. Thus, the people marched and one dissident even vowed to start a hunger strike if the 13 prisoners are not in their homes by Monday. "To not release them would be fatal to the promise given to the Church, and a fraud against the international community," said Elizardo Sanchez, head of the Havana-based Cuban Commission on Human Rights and National Reconciliation. Raul Castro agreed following a July 7 meeting with Roman Catholic Cardinal Jamie Ortega to release 52 prisoners of conscience held since 2003. The men were arrested as part of a crackdown on peaceful dissent. Under the terms of the deal, all prisoners were to be freed within four months. That window ends at midnight Sunday. Cuban officials have refused comment on the matter, which seems odd because after the deal was struck, the government quickly sent 39 prisoners into exile in Spain, along with their families. Authorities also agreed to release another 14 prisoners who were in jail for violent (in their definition anyhow) crimes. Those 14 individuals were also sent to Spain, but progress toward their release has all but stopped since then. The remaining 13 prisoners who were arrested during the 2003 crackdown have refused to leave the island, a direct challenge the government clearly doesn’t appreciate. Some among the group have vowed to continue their fight for democratic political change the moment they leave jail. Protestors participating in Sunday’s march promised to wait until midnight to see if the government lived up to its word, but I’m guessing they aren’t holding out much hope. The dissidents have a powerful weapon on their side in the form of Guillermo Farinas, an activist who won Europe's Sakharov human rights prize in October after staging a 134-day hunger strike in support of the prisoners. Sakharov has promised to stop eating Monday if the remaining dissidents are not in their homes. Failure to meet the deadline could also impact the Obama Administration's long-rumored plans to relax travel restrictions and make it easier for students, academics and researchers to visit Cuba. Castro and his cronies argue that all dissidents are common criminals who receive secret support from the U.S. for the express purpose of bringing down the island's communist system. Whatever lies you need to tell yourself to get through the day, Cuban officials………
- God bless you, stoners. You keep this world interesting, mellow and always rich in hackey sack games and viewings of Planet Earth DVDs. Oh, and you give us stories like the one about one of your group’s finest minds, Vermont resident Galen Dively. Dively was wrapping Christmas presents last year when inspiration struck. He was wrapping a Hello Kitty toaster for the daughter of his wife’s cousin and with his sedated stoner mind chugging away as much as it possibly could, he came to the realization that it would be a great thing for a toaster “to have a cannabis leaf on it.” It might be the most brilliant idea of all-time because the one thing stoners love more than Cheetos is Pop Tarts and what’s one of the best ways to prepare a Pop Tart? All together now: a toaster! Out of that one idea grew Burnt Impressions, Dively’s new company featuring a collection of toasters that sear images on bread like the peace sign. Dively has now moved on the religious imagery and his latest invention, the Jesus Toaster, is becoming something out a cult favorite. It has sold more than 1,000 units in a matter of weeks, proving that there are more people than you might think who want an image of Jesus on their morning toast. “I’ve always been interested in natural phenomena of religious images popping up in nature and on objects,” Dively said. “Born again Christians call me up and can’t wait to get their Jesus toaster.” Not all Christians have been so supportive, with some calling his work sacrilegious. “I hate hurting people’s feelings, it’s really a natural parody to the phenomenon to see Jesus everywhere and I’m surprised that I’m the first person to think of it and put it out there,” Dively said. Right, but the kooks who claim to see Jesus in a pile of grass clippings or the Virgin Mary in a pile of cow feces are just idiots that everyone laughs at. Having said that, big ups to my man Galen Dively for showing that stoners can muster a little entrepreneurial spirit every now and then………
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