- Rooting for the feds is tough for an anti-establishment fella like me, but when it comes to the issue of smoking, I’ll align with just about anyone who wants to stop loser smokers from foisting their toxic air on the rest of us. So I’m down with the proposed new regulations the federal government unveiled Wednesday mandating "bolder health warnings" on cigarette advertisements and packages. A news release from the Department of Health and Human Services spelled out the proposed changes, which the agency claims constitute the biggest change in tobacco health warnings in 25 years. The DHHS said that the new regulations include "nine new larger and more noticeable textual warning statements and color graphic images depicting the negative health consequences of smoking.” In other words, dropping bigger and more colorful warnings on cigarette packaging. Best of all, the feds will give the general public ample opportunity to weigh in on 36 proposed images through January 9. From there, Food and Drug Administration officials will select the nine statements and images to be used no later than June 22. Unfortunately, rules requiring the use of the new images and warnings on all cigarettes distributed for sale in the United States would not take effect until October 22, 2012. "Today, FDA takes a crucial step toward reducing the tremendous toll of illness and death caused by tobacco use by proposing to dramatically change how cigarette packages and advertising look in this country," FDA Commissioner Margaret Hamburg said. "When the rule takes effect, the health consequences of smoking will be obvious every time someone picks up a pack of cigarettes. ... This is a concrete example of how FDA's new responsibilities for tobacco product regulation can benefit the public's health." All of this is possible because of Congress’ 2009 decision to give the FDA the broad power to regulate tobacco products. Up to that point, that power unfortunately rested in the hands of the inept ass hats in Congress, who had to actually get off their backsides and vote any proposed change through. That arrangement led to the United States having what many critics deem the weakest tobacco warnings in the world. Having spent time in Europe and seen how many Europeans smoke on a regular basis, I have a hard time believing that. The response from Big Tobacco to the proposed new laws was varied, with Phillip Morris issuing a “blow sunshine up your butt” statement reading: "Philip Morris USA has actively participated in the FDA's rule-making and public comment processes and plans to do the same on this proposal.” On the other hand, a spokesman for R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. stated that requiring larger, graphic warnings on cigarette packages was already the subject of a lawsuit filed by the maker of Camel and Pall Mall cigarettes. That suit tries to defend cancer sticks by saying that requiring bigger, more colorful warnings violates the company's First Amendment rights of commercial, free speech. The suit was already rejected last year in federal district court in Bowling Green, Kentucky, but the company has appealed to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit. Gotta love a company ignoring the fact that its products cause 443,000 deaths in the United States each year and remain the leading cause of premature and preventable death nationwide. In truth, the best move is turning the entire cigarette package into a giant warning label so large that there is no room for actual cigarettes inside. Something tells me Big Tobacco wouldn’t approve…….
- Imagine how pumped up I would be right now if I cared about NASCAR or auto racing in general! Iconic X Games star Travis Pastrana is headed to NASCAR and both a driver and team owner. Pastrana-Waltrip Racing announced the move Thursday, pending NASCAR approval. Pastrana, a Moto X, X Games and American rally racing star, intends to make his debut in the NASCAR Nationwide Series in 2011 under the Pastrana-Waltrip Racing banner. Joining the Pastrana-Waltrip team means Pastrana will drive Toyota Camrys provided to him by Michael Waltrip Racing. "I've been following NASCAR closely for years as a fan of the sport with competing in the sport a life-long dream," Pastrana said in a statement. "I decided it was time to try and turn that dream into reality and with the help of the Bechtel family, Michael Waltrip Racing and Wasserman media group I'm now one step closer!" Being that I couldn’t care less about auto racing and have a mild interest in X Games action, I have no idea what driving a Toyota Camry will mean to Pastrana’s chances for auto racing success. NASCAR fans may also wonder what number will be on Pastrana’s car and that information…..has yet to be determined. Waltrip owns the No. 99, and Pastrana's longtime racing number is 199. The team already has plans in place for Pastrana to compete in at least seven Nationwide races in 2011, plus the Toyota Showdown at Irwindale Speedway in NASCAR's Whelen All-American Series. Long-term, Pastrana plans to increase his workload to at least 20 races in 2012. Pastrana also did not reveal when he will make his NASCAR debut, but sources said the hope is Phoenix International Raceway in February. But wait, he can’t get behind the wheel yet. First, he must pass NASCAR’s strenuous approval process. That involves, I kid you not, submitting a resume to NASCAR, which then determines whether the driver is capable of NASCAR competition. Gosh, I sure hope they don’t turn him down……….
- Doctors, are you having trouble finding a good gig here in the United States? Or are you tired of insanely high malpractice insurance that severely cuts into your profits? If so, a golden opportunity may have just opened up for you in good ol’ Deutschland. The small, northwestern German village of Lette is in need of a doctor after their local doctor retired in September. The town faces a tough challenge because as amazingly beautiful as Germany is, finding a doctor willing to move to a rural area and serve as an underpaid practitioner of the medicals arts is a difficult proposition. Bearing that in mind, the town has added some unique incentives to its sales pitch. Local butcher Niko Ringhoff, who operates his butcher shop in Lette, is offering a doctor willing to move to the community free meaty lunches and a complimentary sausage-themed feast when the new surgery opens. "Everybody wants to do something to help get a doctor," he stated. “We desperately need a doctor, but it's difficult to attract one to the countryside." Having seen parts of that countryside in person, I somewhat disagree with that statement, but not everyone is as crazy about the beauty of nature as I am. For those people, Lette is also offering free meat, haircuts and accommodation to any doctor willing to relocate to their tiny hamlet. Marion Funke, who runs the local hotel with her husband, is offering a doctor a place to stay for free until he or she finds permanent accommodation. The free haircuts will come from the local salon and the local baker will provide the rolls. As the final detail to push the offer over the top, the local florist is offering free flower arrangements. Sounds like a great offer to me, assuming you’re a big fan of sausage and living in a place where beer is as common as water………
- It’s sure to suck and be a ginormous waste of your money, so perhaps you’re asking yourself when you’ll have a chance to throw away $10 or so on the iTunes version of Avril Lavigne's upcoming studio album, her fourth such project and the follow-up to 2007's "The Best Damn Thing." That album, stunningly, turned out not to be the best damn thing in any sense of the term. The chaser for that album has been bogged down by delays even thought it has been finished, mastered and ready to release for more than a year. Perhaps agitated by the delays or by the fact that she is a talent-less hack with no hope of ever producing anything other than un-listenable crap, Lavigne has lashed out at her record label, RCA, for holding back her music. She penned a letter to her fans decrying the delay, placing all blame on RCA. "This has been a really difficult record for me to create and to release," she wrote. "Not only is this the most meaningful and special record I have written, it is sincere, honest and close to my heart. But for the first time I experienced a bunch of bureaucratic BS... People do their best work when they are doing what they want, love and is natural for them, not when you are forcing them to be something that they are not." Well…..one could always argue that the label has heard the album and is merely trying to protect the public from music certain to cause their ear to jump off their head and run for safety……but we all know that record companies aren’t that noble. But if they felt that this album would make them money, they would release it right away. For now, no release date has been set and all we know is that the album's first single, called "What the Hell," will be out in January. Lavigne also mentioned in her letter that a video for the song will be shot in two weeks,. "This song is the least personal song to me off this album," Lavigne wrote. "It's a fun and funny anthem. It has a broad message about personal freedom. It is the most pop track on the record." See, that might be the problem right there. Every song on every Avril Lavigne album is pop, whether she realizes it or not. Maybe this track is her cleansing song about her divorce from Sum 41 singer Deryck Whibley, maybe it’s about something else….but it will definitely suck………
- Whose side do you take: annoyed local residents who just want those damned roosters to be quiet or the flannel-wearing local farmers who say that the rest of the town simply needs to mind its own business? That’s the question of the day in East Haven, Conn., where the chairman of the town council says officials have received numerous complaints over the past few months about noisy roosters. Predictably, local farmers are refusing to back down. Residents insist that the council do something. “I'm woken up every morning by it,” said resident Amy Vitale. “I know that it may not bother all the neighbors, I know it bothers quite a few neighbors. It doesn't just crow at the break of dawn. Roosters crow when they feel threatened by others animals, or whatever.” Speaking as a person who has been annoyed both by noisy animals and specifically by un-policed chickens, I think I’m going to have to side with the anti-animal thinkers on this one. I don’t care if it’s people like Vitale, who simply don’t want to be woken up early, or men like Chris Trosuk, who is worried about property resale value for his home. “My concern is, if I go to sell my house in a couple of years, and these chickens are growing and growing and these coupes are everywhere, I'm stuck,” Trosuk fretted. The opposing viewpoint was also on display as East Haven's town council held a public hearing Tuesday night about drawing up an ordinance regulating roosters in suburban neighborhoods. "We always had a farm. We always had animals. You know what, if you don't like it, don't move here,” said Larry Cifarelli. “They've been here for five generations. The chickens, the pigs, who cares? If you don't like what you got, go back from wherever you come from.” Always a good retort, you ignorant redneck. If you don’t like how things are here, don’t live here. Heaven forbid anyone attempt to change anything and make life better. “It’s always been that way” is never a solid rationale for doing something in a certain fashion, even if you and your small-minded, simpleton friends feel that way. “I'm really getting a little perturbed, some of my neighbors, some of my neighbors, neighbors that live across the street, don't have a complaint about nothin',” said rooster sympathizer David Simoes. In predictable government/bureaucratic red tape fashion, East Haven's attorney recommended that the issue should go to the appropriate committee for more debate and be raised again at a later date. How very big-city government of you……..
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