- The tale of a convicted bank robber who inadvertently robbed New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady will have a happy ending after all. Dennis Paiva was driving past Brady's Boston condominium in May 2008 and spotted what he thought were two flower boxes left out as trash. The flower boxes were near a dumpster, so Paiva assumed they were being thrown out and stopped to pick them up. A security camera caught him throwing the flower boxes in the back of his truck and driving off. A few days later, Paiva received a call from the police demanding that he return the flower boxes. Initially he denied any wrongdoing, but officers informed him that he had been caught on tape and needed to return to stolen items immediately. Problem was that by that time, Paiva had sold the flower boxes for scrap metal. As a recently paroled felon who is unable to work due to the effects of a recent surgery, Paiva was unable to mount much of a legal defense when charges were filed against him for stealing the flower boxes. A judge ruled that he must pay $4,000 to the real estate trust owned by Brady that in turn owns the condo. Because of the ownership arrangement, it’s unlikely that Brady knew about the situation or was heavily involved, but that didn’t make Paiva any less screwed. His story became public this week and that development turned out to be Paiva’s salvation from what had turned into a life of panhandling and begging in order to pay his debt. Dan Greenwald, the owner of a Burlington ad agency, read about Paiva’s tale of woe and decided to pay the restitution for him. Greenwald said it seemed as if Paiva, who says he can't work because of got "the rawest of raw deals." His act of kindness allows the 61-year-old Paiva to get out from under a financial burden he couldn’t shoulder and for that, Greenwald should be saluted. Paiva called Greenwald's gesture "a dream come true." Nice to know that there are still people out there doing good things for strangers…….
- Uh oh! Rich people, prepare to be dicked over again, this time by the Democrats on the House Ways and Means Committee. Not that I have any love for either group - rich people or Democrats on the House Ways and Means Committee - because I’m not a huge fan of either. As such, I think I’ll merely sit back and enjoy this showdown as the Dems prepare to introduce another measure sure to be hailed as the encroachment of socialism on our nation. On Friday, the committee proposed a graduated tax on wealthy Americans to pay for health care reform. In other words, penalizing the richer and more successful among us in order to help the poorer and less successful, something I know rich people absolutely LOVE. So just what is the threshold for wealth when it comes to this new “Robin Hood” tax to rip money from the rich and put it in the hands of the poor? Well, the new tax would apply to individuals who make more than $280,000 a year and married couples who make more than $350,000. But wait….there’s more! That’s merely the threshold for the tax; the more you make and the richer you are, the more this tax would sting your bank account. Individuals making up to $400,000 and couples making up to $500,000 would be assessed a 1 percent tax on their adjusted gross income and an even higher rate would apply to individuals making up to $800,000 and for couples making up to $1 million per year, and an even higher rate would apply to individuals and couples with higher incomes! Now that is what I like to call sticking it to the rich and I LOVE it. Now, would I feel differently if I were rich? Might I be less eager to see the wealthy forced to subsidize health care for the poor if I were wealthy? Perhaps, but I’m not rich (nowhere near it) and never will be. As such, I’m going to revel in the rich getting a raw deal here. And to be fair, committee Democrats did consider other ideas to pay for the reform, including new taxes on sugary drinks or an increase in Medicare payroll taxes, but those were rejected. On the bright side, the new tax is expected to bring in $540 billion over 10 years. When you combine that figure with approximately $500 billion in projected savings from health care reforms, it should help offset the roughly $1 trillion that the House Democrats' bill is expected to cost. An official announcement of this legislation is expected to come tomorrow, so plan your bill introduction parties accordingly, unless of course you’re really, really rich……..
- Millions of people across the United States attended church this morning, but a growing number of them filed in to their place of worship in an unusual location: their local movie theater. In places like Edgewater, New Jersey, churchgoers file past signs announcing "The Proposal," the latest Sandra Bullock bomb, and sit down in stadium seating for their Sunday service. At Edgewater Multiplex Cinemas, some 200 people come each Sunday for Joy Christian Fellowship’s regular service. The church has a six-piece worship band for its music and senior pastor Danny Han preaches the weekly message. "It's not a traditional church setting," said Han. "But we turn this theater auditorium into a worship place.” Joy Christian Fellowship is one of about 200 churches renting theater space under a one-year contract with National CineMedia, a nationwide multiplex cinema chain. The concept began with a mere three churches six years ago and has grown steadily since then. “The economy has had clearly a positive impact," said Kurt Hall, the CEO of National CineMedia. "As churches have found it more difficult to raise money to build their own buildings.” The practice especially appeals to never churches that don’t have the finances to afford their own building, but larger churches looking for additional locations or branches are also embracing the idea of worshiping in a theater. Joy Christian Fellowship leases two theaters at $1,000 for 3 1/2 hours each Sunday. Heck, National CineMedia even offers "Worship Solutions" packages with negotiable rates. But it isn’t only churches with building issues or funding issues that have turned to movie theaters as churches. Rev. Ethan Maple is a pastor in Indianapolis, Indiana, who saw sagging attendance at his church and decided that since people weren't filling the church pews, he would go to them. In March he started The Movie Theater Church and it has turned into an unconventional-yet-popular place of worship. Congregation members eat popcorn and drink soda while worshipping, the offering is collected in popcorn buckets and sermon notes are put up on the screen for everyone to follow along. If nothing else, this is an interesting trend and a good way to show that churches aren’t the same stiff, stuffy and boring places they have often been seen as……..
- Looking to see Kate Winslet do a nude scene in a movie and you’re tired of re-watching the train wreck known as Titanic? Is The Reader simply too boring and snooze-inducing for you? I don’t know what to tell you, but the days of Winslet taking off her clothes on screen appear to be coming to an end. In a new interview with Harper’s Bazaar (which I didn’t know was still published), the actress says she’s getting ready to cease and desist with nude scenes once and for all. “If people are noticing my boobs in a movie and saying they do what real boobs do, then that’s great. I’ll be 34 in October. I can’t keep getting away with it. There was much of it in ‘The Reader’ because the story required it, but people have seen enough of my bum and my boobs. I have to put them back,” Winslet stated. Having said that, she is happy to have done a full-frontal or two in her career. So for those of you out there who have had otherwise crap-tacular movies saved by seeing this chick take off her clothes, just know that you won't have that crutch to lean on going forward. If your wife or girlfriend drags you to a Kate Winslet movie in the future, you’re going to have to suffer through it without this sort of payoff. Should you be looking to read the Harper's Bazaar for yourself, it’s in the August issue of the magazine, which lands on newsstands July 21……
- Maybe I’ve been lackadaisical in holding regular meetings of my seminar for aspiring-yet-stupid criminals looking to add a dash of professionalism and success to their endeavors. Perhaps that’s been the case, but it would still not excuse the moronic behavior of a guy like Michael Fagan, an escaped suspect in Longview, Texas who was discovered by police hiding between a box spring and a mattress in the home of his girlfriend, Shalonda Demetrie Jones. Fagan, a drug suspect, managed to break free from a Gregg County deputy at the jail right before he was booked into the facility. When breaking free from the cops, there are obviously a few things even the most amateur of criminals need to keep in mind. The first and most important thing, assuming the goal is not to be arrested again, is to stay away from family, friends and anything familiar. See, the cops are smart enough to surmise that those are the places a suspect is escaped criminal is most likely to go. In times of crisis, we all revert to the familiar and safe, so those are the first places the authorities look. Fagan may or may not have remained free if he hadn’t decided that between the box spring and mattress of his girlfriend’s bed was a good hiding place, I don’t know. What I do know is that his odds would have been far better if he had run to a less predictable place. Now, his bond has been set at $100,000 for two counts of evading arrest plus an additional $5,000 for possession of a controlled substance. Hope that was worth it, you tool……
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