Saturday, July 18, 2009

Riot Watch! in Iran, T.O. mistakenly believes reality TV has some ties to reality and yet another way "American Karaoke" upsets me

- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! In case you thought that the post-election rioting and protesting in Iran had gone dormant, think again. Maybe those riots and protests aren’t as frequent and perhaps the news cycle has tired of spitting out on day after another of stories about opposition groups in Iran taking it to the streets to protest their nation’s recent sham of a presidential election, but that doesn’t mean opposition groups aren’t still standing up for what they believe in. Over the weekend, opposition candidate and former parliament speaker Mehdi Karrubi, who ran last in the June 12 election, lambasted what he labeled the "thoughtless and clear lies" of the country's security forces. As Karrubi made his impassioned speech, students mounted new demonstrations at a university in Shiraz. Let me tell you something, Iran. If the guy who finished dead last in your election is still publicly ripping that election more than a month after it happened, there is likely some shady sh*t going on. A month after an election anywhere else in the world (at least any place that holds a legit election), the guy (or lady) who finishes last has, to quote the immortal Mike Tyson, faded into Bolivian. Yet there was Mehdi Karrubi, drawing a parallel between the Iranian government’s claims that it had not attacked his supporters to the statements that came out of the Iranian monarchy in the days before the 1979 revolution that established the Islamic republic. “How do they try to say that they do not confront people violently or to blame others? All of this took place in front of people's eyes,” Karrubi told supporters. “They kill the youth in front of people's eyes and then say that they didn't have firearms. As a member of this system, I am embarrassed of these thoughtless and clear lies.” Hmm….someone sounds a tad angry. Could that be because here were reports Friday that Karrubi himself was roughed up by members of the Basij, the paramilitary force loyal to Iran's hardline leadership? So far those reports haven’t been verified, but Karrubi said he was "assaulted" and that his turban was knocked off. Because I want those reports to be true and for there to be more reasons to protest and riot in Iran, I’m going to go ahead and assume that they are true. Nothing makes me prouder than a good protest/riot, which is also why I’m thrilled that more than a month despite the certification of the official results from the presidential race, there are still regular demonstrations raging on. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is a fraudulently elected dictator and as such, he should be protested every day of the week. There is not a snowball’s chance in a Middle East desert that he actually, legitimately won re-election by a 2-to-1 margin over his closest rival, former Prime Minister Mir Hossein Moussavi. Several social networking sites currently have videos up showing a protest by students at Ehsan University in Shiraz on Sunday in which they can be seen and heard demanding the release of political prisoners and singing songs from the 1979 revolution. Nothing wrong with channeling a little of the old-school revolutionary spirit in your protest, kids. The Man is still refusing to accede to the will of the people in overturning the results of this sham election, so riot on……….

- Maybe no one told Terrell Owens this, but reality television is not the place to go if you want people to “get to know the real you.” For anyone who feels misunderstood or wrongly portrayed in the public, appearing on anything labeled reality TV is the polar opposite of the right move. After being seen as an arrogant, me-first, attention-whore blowhard during his13 NFL seasons, Owens is taking his quest for public approval to one of the least-respected names in cable television, VH1. In an eight-episode reality series set to premiere Monday on VH-1, Owens claims that viewers will meet the real Terrell Owens. "Terrell you'll see pretty much on this show," Owens said. "It's pretty much to the 'T' of how I am. I mean, it's reality." Yeah, because nothing is more real than reality TV, where surgically enhanced strippers vie for the affections of has-been rockers, random groups of strangers are picked to live in a pimped out condo in Cancun and have their lives filmed for two months and hack karaoke singers compete for the chance to be crowned America’s best karaoke singer by that man-blouse-wearing, tip-frosting freak Ryan Seacrest. Look, I’m all for people getting their true selves out their if they have been misrepresented, but that’s not what this is. This is a guy who loves himself and loves the spotlight and is making a grab for more of it under the auspices of allowing his fans to get to know him better. I’m even okay with Owens being an egotistical, arrogant prima donna if that’s what he is. If that’s not what he is, then I’m cool with that as well. I’m simply saying reality TV is one of the biggest blights on our society and the odds of anything good coming out of it are slimmer than the odds of Rosie O’Donnell turning down a triple cheeseburger with mayo and bacon on top coupled with a giant chocolate milkshake. But I’ll give T.O. and his crew this, they are selling the crap out of this show as a vehicle to show his true character to the world. "He's human. He has feelings. He has a life story," his publicist Monique Jackson said. "There are all these layers that you don't understand, and all you see is this crazy body with phenomenal athletic abilities and this character.” Sure, but the name doesn’t exactly imply “road to self-discovery and character revelation.” No, the "The T.O. Show" basically implies that he is the show and that all of the focus should be on him. As for the show, it’s partly based in Buffalo, where Owens signed a free agent deal with the Bills this offseason. Since then, he’s been welcomed with open arms and a tad too much adulation from Bills fans and the city of Buffalo as a whole. One event had Buffalo Mayor Byron Brown presenting Owens with a key to the city at a ceremony that included a high school marching band on the steps of an art gallery. His search for a place to live in Buffalo has also been extensively covered, which is overkill if I’ve ever seen it. In the end, what I’m saying is that this show is a) an ego project for Owens and b) a total waste of time for everyone else……..

- Rarely have I followed a piece of proposed legislation closer and been more pumped to see the outcome of its journey through Congress than I am with the proposed health care legislation the Obama administration is currently pushing. Ironically, it has nothing to do with the goal of the bill, which is reportedly to provide better national health care coverage and cheaper coverage options for the poor. All of that is great and those are admirable goals; I’m simply more interested in how the administration plans on going about reaching that goal. Namely, I’m psyched about their plan to place a tax surcharge on Americans making more than $350,000 annually. Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius called a tax surcharge on wealthy Americans is "a legitimate way to go forward.” Well said, K., well said. But what I’m more interested here is at what point the crusade against the rich will piss these people off so much that they actually start to battle back. How far must we push and tax the wealthy before they go gangsta and get violent in the streets? Is an additional income tax to fund health care for the poor enough to unify the wealth and send them out into the streets protesting and rioting (or at least hiring illegal immigrants to go out into the streets to protest and riot on their behalf)? So if the crusade for health care reform is indeed President Barack Obama's top domestic priority, then it’s a fine setting in which to settle this issue of how far the rich can be pushed before they snap. At this point, both the House and Senate are working on proposals that would create a government-funded public health insurance option intended to drive down costs of private coverage. Both are also controlled by Democrats, which should mean a favorable setting to drop this debate into. Sure, the naysayers in the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office reported last week that the measures currently under consideration in both chambers would not pay for themselves and would increase the budget deficit, but let’s not sweat the small stuff. Let’s continue seeking new ways to tax and persecute the rich until they finally decide that they’ve had enough and start rioting. Who wouldn’t love seeing people in $5,000, three-piece suits marching through Manhattan with protest signs and banners and clashing with police? Maybe a group of wealthy businessmen can stage a sit-in in Washington and even a hunger strike until President Obama agrees to meet with them. These rich, mostly-white people have the Republicans arguing on their behalf that the government is over-reaching by seeking to reform the whole system, but nothing says opposition like getting socially dissident with it yourself. The fact is that right now, the health care system has left 46 million Americans uninsured. Changing that fact should be a priority and with the added bonus of pushing the wealthy further toward the brink of snapping as a side benefit, there’s no downside to this. Let’s keep this up and see if we can’t make good on Sebelius’ threat that the new tax could cause employers who provide coverage for 180 million Americans to change or drop their programs, which could "dismantle the private market." I’m enjoying this thrill ride and hoping it doesn’t end any time soon……

- Like that mentally unstable freak Paula Abdul, I too am greatly upset by American Karaoke. We may be upset for entirely different reasons, but I choose not to focus on our differences but rather our similarities. Sure, she’s the insane, heavily medicated judge on a reality karaoke show that I have rightly dubbed the single biggest abortion and abomination in the history of music and I am merely s snarky, sarcastic blogger who loves good music, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find common ground. So with Abdul "hurt," "angry" and unlikely to return to American Karaoke unless the show's producers make her an offer soon, I will unleash my own anger. Like Abdul, I am angry. I’m angry and I’m hurt that there is even an AK for her to be hurt and angry at and threatening to not return to. “It does not appear that she's going to be back on Idol," her agent David Sonenberg declared. That’s one thing, but the problem is that there is still an American Karaoke at all. Furthermore, this monstrosity is handing out $45 million contracts to ass hats like Ryan Seacrest and paying a ridiculous salary to a guy whose shtick is to be a bitter, surly killjoy who hates everyone and everything, Simon Cowell. Oh, and that tool is reportedly in talks to inflate his own annual paycheck to $100 million-plus. One-hundred million dollars? For who? For what? To sit at a desk with a catch-phrase-spitting, fat black due and a mentally ill former L.A. Laker girl and pass judgment on a bunch of hack karaoke singers doing abysmal versions of songs that either sucked to begin with or have now been rendered musically dead by the performances of those aforementioned karaoke-ers? That makes me both hurt and angry, just like Abdul. The main differences are that I’ve never flipped out on a commercial flight and nearly committed a criminal assault on a fellow passenger because the airline wouldn’t give me an extra seat for free and also that I’m not hopped up on probably a half dozen prescription medications. As for the show itself, I couldn’t care less whether Idol producers FremantleMedia and 19 Entertainment offer a new contract to Abdul or not. I simply find it disturbing in the highest degree when I hear that her contract expired at the end of last season, which was the eighth for this nightmare. For any losers out there who are AK fans (honestly, I’d prefer you not read this blog if you are one of them, I don’t want to associate with your kind), apparently resolving the Abdul issue is important to the show because the karaoke freaks who have waited in line for hours because they have no life and auditioned around the country are set for audition callbacks next month. Why the show can’t just find some other plastic surgery-enhanced, drugged up former pop singer to take Abdul’s place, I don’t know. Hollywood is full of freaks like her, so it shouldn’t be that hard……..

- So a former California police officer sexually assaulted a motorist during a traffic stop? Shocker. What with the impeccable and unimpeachable integrity displayed regularly by law enforcement (cough, Rodney King, cough) in this country, how could such an atrocity occur? Our sexual deviant/a-hole in this case is Feliciano Sanchez, a former deputy for Los Angeles County's Bell Police Department who admitted in court Thursday that while on duty on May 16, 2007, he pulled over a female driver in a traffic stop and forced her to perform oral sex on him. Sanchez pleaded guilty in federal court and now faces a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison upon sentencing. On that fateful May day, Sanchez stopped a woman for speeding and weaving down the road. Upon pulling her over, he learned that the woman, identified as R.H. in court documents, did not have a driver's license with her. Seeing a chance to abuse his power and get his freak on for a little afternoon delight, Sanchez told the woman he suspected her of drinking and her car would be towed. He then offered to drive R.H. to her job, but instead drove her to the parking lot of an auto repair outlet in Bell. Once they were in a fairly secluded location, Sanchez placed his hand on his gun and forced her to perform sex on him in his patrol car. What kills me is that afterward, Sanchez drove R.H. to her work place as if nothing had happened and what he’d just forced her to do was no big deal. Nothing like grossly abusing your power to coerce a sexual favor out of someone and then acting like it’s no big deal. That’s the way to dispel the perception that law enforcement officers are bunch of arrogant, pretentious a-holes, Sanchez. Federal prosecutors charged Sanchez with a civil rights violation, which was followed by Thursday’s guilty plea and will be topped off with Sanchez's sentencing, which is scheduled for November 18. Here’s hoping my man Feliciano Sanchez ends up with a very nice cellmate in the clink who shows him how vile sexual assault can be…….

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