Saturday, June 20, 2009

A kindred spirit for Bernie Madoff, super news for Grey's Anatomy fans and a court in Minnesota strikes a blow against the little guy

- I’ll be bluntly honest: I don’t download musically illegally (hear that, FBI?), but in cases involving the government and/or record companies going after people who do so, I’ll always land on the side of the little guy. Just because I don’t “break the law” by downloading songs via Lime Wire or like programs doesn’t mean I don’t sympathize with those who do, people like Jammie Thomas-Rasset of Minnesota. For more than three years, the Recording Industry Association of America has been persecuting Thomas-Rasset and looking to make her pay because she dared to illegally download a whopping 24 songs. I feel just terrible for this woman, and not only because an idiotic federal jury Thursday found her guilty of illegally downloading music and fined her $80,000 per songs -- a total of $1.9 million -- for the 24 songs This was the first such copyright infringement case to go to trial in the United States and clearly, juries are going to need to learn how to decide these cases better. So having nearly $2 million in fines levied against her is one reason to feel bad for Thomas-Rasset, but it’s far from the only one. If you take a look at the music she downloaded and was fined for, it’s clear that Thomas-Rasset also deserves all of our deepest sympathies for her atrocious taste in music. Among the artists she was pinched for downloading illegally are No Doubt, Gloria Estefan and Sheryl Crow. When Sheryl Crow is the least offensive and awful artist in any group, that’s a bad sign. Seriously, Gloria Estefan? What is this, 2009 or 1989? Even in 1989, Estefan was terrible amongst a litany of terrible ‘80s music acts. As for the case itself, I agree with Thomas-Rasset’s attorney, Joe Sibley, who said that his client was shocked at the fine, noting that the price tag on the songs she downloaded was 99 cents. She plans to appeal, which is probably a good call because there’s no way she has the money to pay that fine. Thomas-Rasset is married with four children and works for an Indian tribe in Minnesota, which I’m guessing is not a high-paying gig. What’s even more offensive is that in the first trial, a jury granted just $220,000 to the recording companies before the judge ordered a retrial in 2007 after there was an error in the wording of jury instructions. A semantic error costs this chick $1.7 million? Wow. Plus, we have to hear the smug response of the RIAA as it celebrates over a verdict it doesn’t deserve and doesn’t need the money from. "We appreciate the jury's service and that they take this as seriously as we do," RIAA spokeswoman Cara Duckworth said. She added that the association was "pleased that the jury agreed with the evidence and found the defendant liable.” Clearly both of you take things far too seriously, C. Stop holding the common man down and stop acting like what Jammie Thomas-Rasset and people like her do is a crime on the level of murder……..

- So what to do when you’re a Division I college football player at a major university and are looking to make use of your extra free time over the summer? Do you lock yourself in the weight room and look to bulk up for the upcoming season to earn or keep a starting job? Maybe you decide to take a few classes because you can’t handle a huge course load during the year on account of football taking up so much of your time. Or you can always get drunk, hop on your moped and get arrested by the police for drunk driving. That last option is the one that University of Iowa offensive tackle Kyle Calloway chose and because of that choice, he will be suspended for a game this fall and be required to complete counseling and extensive community service. Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz announced the punishment after police arrested Calloway early Saturday morning and charged him with operating a vehicle while intoxicated. Calloway was arrested after officers stopped him while driving his moped into a barricaded area. When they hit him with a field sobriety and a breathalyzer test, he registered a blood-alcohol content of 0.106. As with every other state in the union, the legal limit in Iowa is 0.08. “I was very disappointed to learn of Kyle's poor judgment," Ferentz said in a statement. "Kyle will be expected to complete counseling and educational requirements, extensive community service obligations and game suspension prior to returning to the field.” Thanks for that, coach, and for handing down a very severe one-game suspension for the season opener against Division 1-AA Northern Iowa. But hey, at least Calloway cooperated with police and acknowledged he drank seven or eight beers, so he didn’t get Tasered for being belligerent while drunk. Still, you know you’re a D-1 lineman if you pound eight beers over the course of a few hours and you’re only at 0.106. Way to make use of your free time in the summer, Kyle Calloway, very impressive…….

- Good news for you, women ages 18-49! No, Matthew McConaughey isn’t coming to your home to work in the yard while shirtless. Rather, ABC has announced that Katherine Heigl will return to Grey's Anatomy for Season 6, and that lightning rod of controversy T.R. Knight will not be back. There had been rampant speculation on Heigl's future with the show after her character, Izzie Stevens, was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic brain cancer and appeared to flat-line in the season-finale episode. She too drummed up some controversy last June when she made statements about her Emmy worthiness that appeared to cast aspersion on the show’s writing staff. Industry observers and busybodies speculated in the months following Heigl’s comments that show creator Shonda Rhimes would get some "payback" by killing off Izzie from the show. Those rumors of Izzie’s demise were clearly exaggerated and for that, I’m sure all Grey’s fans are grateful….unless Izzie is one of the characters on the show that people don’t like. I honestly have no idea because I’ve never had any interest in watching it, but for those who do, I hope the return of Katherine Heigl makes Season 6 that much better for you…….

- Good choice, officials in New Mexico. With every government entity and business across the country feeling the economic crush of our ongoing recession, it is reassuring to see you being so fiscally responsible. Deciding to begin construction of the world's first facility for space tourists is clearly a solid use of tax dollars. Nearly $200 million will be poured into the building of Spaceport America, all of which will be funded by the state. New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson hosted a groundbreaking ceremony Friday and talked about what a momentous day this was for all New Mexicans. "New Mexicans have stepped up to the plate by making this investment," Richardson said. "This groundbreaking ceremony is an important step toward our goal of being at the forefront of a vibrant, new commercial space industry." Commercial space industry, that’s what you’re hanging your hat on? This entire project is basically for one man: British business magnate Richard Branson, whose Virgin Galactic will begin taking tourists to space from the facility. Flights are expected to start in 2010 and Branson has said that he has a list of 45,000 people from 120 countries who have registered to take the space trips. In other words, there are allegedly a lot of people willing to pay $200,000 for a ride to outer space. The spaceship will be connected to a specially designed carrier aircraft that will take it to about 50,000 feet, according to Virgin Galactic. The aircraft will release the spaceship, which will then use rockets to propel itself into space. For that $200 million investment, Spaceport America will host exactly one flight to space per week, with six tourists aboard each flight. I suppose that I could be totally wrong and this could be an incredibly sound investment that is in no way destined to fail, but I just have this sneaking suspicion that the people of New Mexico are going to regret this and wish they had spent the money on something like roads or schools……..

- I think in the back of our minds, we all know that no one would ever eclipse the immortal Bernie Madoff as a con artist and ripper-offer-of-investors. However, I don’t think that should cause any of us should to not appreciate billionaire financier Robert Allen Stanford, because he clearly is the closest person in recent memory to being every bit the reprehensible douche bag that Madoff is. Stanford has been indicted on charges of criminal conspiracy to commit mail, wire and securities fraud, actions that earned his company an estimated $7 billion. Stanford Group Co. made a healthy profit off its CEO’s bogus business practices, but those practices have come to an end now that Stanford has turned himself in to federal authorities in Virginia. Federal prosecutors touched him up with a 21-count indictment filled with a long list of criminal charges for a long series of alleged frauds. He has good company, though; three other Stanford Group executives and a former Antiguan official also are charged in the indictment. “Stanford and his co-defendants engaged in a scheme to defraud investors who purchased approximately $7 billion in certificates of deposit, CDs, administered by Stanford International Bank Ltd.,” said Lanny A. Breuer, assistant attorney general for the Department of Justice's criminal division. What does a company do with $7 billion forked over for fraudulent investments? According to the indictment, Stanford and his co-defendants allegedly misused and misappropriated most of those investment assets, including diverting at least $1.6 billion into undisclosed personal loans to Stanford himself. Yes, you read that right: $1.6 billion in personal loans. I don’t know how many private jets and vacation homes that $1.6 billion can buy, but hearing how Stanford managed to blow that much money should be fascinating. Props also go to Stanford Group executives Laura Pendergest-Holt (representing the ladies), the chief investment officer, and Gilberto Lopez, the chief accounting officer; as well as Mark Kuhrt, who was the global controller for Stanford Financial Group Global Management, an affiliate of Stanford Group Co. And because no conspiracy to defraud investors of billions of dollars is complete without a government official, Leroy King, the former chief executive for Antigua's Financial Services Regulatory Commission, is also charged. To be fair to Stanford, he maintains his innocence in all of this. To be fair to the feds, they typically don’t indict unless they have an airtight case, so Stanford is probably screwed. He’ll be even more screwed when his co-defendants roll on him and agree to testify against him at trial for lessened sentences. But hey, he can hang his hat on being an even bigger piece of crap than everyone outside of Bernie Madoff, so there’s something to celebrate…..

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