- Monday was a decidedly bad night for Jack Bauer. Last night’s episode of 24 brought Jack the bad news that he had in fact been infected by the airborne pathogen in the biological weapon he temporarily hijacked from Starkwood Industries. The hour begins with the CDC arriving on the scene to contain the threat, test and question Jack. He’s forced to strip and hosed down after being given an injection that would supposedly combat many known pathogens he may have been infected with. Then, Jack details what he knows of the bioweapon and was hauled off to the FBI to be debriefed. Along the way, the CDC doctor receives Jack’s test results and relays the results to him. It turns out that he is infected, but that the disease he’s contracted isn’t contagious. He arrives at the FBI office and because he’s not contagious, he can go straight in to be debriefed by Renee Walker. She tries to comfort him about his bad news and commends him for saving the life of the security guard back at the port, but Jack remains all business. He spells out everything he knows about the weapon and is hopeful that will help. Meanwhile, Tony Almeida is arriving at the Starkwood compound along with the bioweapon, a prisoner of the team that took the weapon back from Jack. Jonas Hodges is there to meet Tony and tells him that if he simply explains what the government knows about the bioweapon, he will be allowed to walk away after some mildly rough treatment. Tony won't crack and is taken off for some torture by Stokes, one of Hodges’ go-to guys. Meanwhile, Hodges’ right-hand man Greg Seaton pulls him aside and expresses concerns about continuing their current plan of action to deploy the bioweapon on American soil. He cautions Hodges that it’s not too late to pull back, but Hodges rips him a new one and will have none of the argument. Seemingly spurred to rebel by Hodges’ rebuke, Seaton finds the room where Tony is being interrogated by Stokes and breaks in. He shoots Stokes and frees Tony with the explanation that he wants to stop Hodges’ plan. Together, the pair makes their way to Seaton’s office to call the FBI and attempt to secure a pardon for Seaton in exchange for the whereabouts of the bioweapon. Larry Moss takes the call at the FBI and immediately gets in touch with the president, who takes the advice of several in her inner circle and seizes on the chance to get valuable intel. Although she’s horrified to learn of Starkwood’s evil plans and blames herself and her administration for not stopping them sooner, President Taylor signs the pardon electronically and Seaton does the same at Starkwood headquarters. With his pardon signed, sealed and delivered, Seaton gives up the location of the weapon. He claims it’s located at the north end of the compound in a warehouse and acting on that intelligence, Moss and his strike team set up their operation, Also, Seaton takes Tony to the warehouse so he can provide eyes and ground support for the strike force when they arrive. Moments later, Larry and his men are rapelling from helicopters, surrounding the warehouse and blowing the door. By this point, Hodges and his men have found out that the feds were coming, but the bioweapon isn’t quite ready. As the door is blown open and the strike team barges in, they find…..an empty building, what else? You didn’t think this would end so easily, did you? Seaton turns out to be a red herring, distracting the FBI and the SEAL team accompanying them to the wrong building at the wrong end of the compound. Hodges sees the entire scene unfold on surveillance cameras and remarks, “Little Seaton bought us some time.” Tony is furious at having been played, but he is restrained from seeking any revenge on Seaton. When Larry, the strike team and the SEAL team exit the building they are met by a mini-Starkwood army led by Stokes. Stokes reminds them that their warrant was for the warehouse only and if they attempt to do anything else but leave the compound, they will be fired upon. That’s where things end, and outside of the above-mentioned developments, the only other pieces of news are personnel moves from the White House. Aaron Pierce, heading home after being cleared medically following a gunshot wound suffered in the Juma attack, is flagged down by Olivia Taylor. She requests that he come out of retirement to be her Secret Service protector while she is interim chief of staff for the president. Also, Olivia and the president begin compiling names of possible replacements for Ethan Kanin as chief of staff on a permanent basis. All in all, a downer of an episode and not a lot of action, but it does set up quite a showdown for next week at the Starkwood compound…….
- Oh, how the mighty infomercial talking heads haven fallen. Seems like just yesterday that Vince Shlomi, a.k.a. the ShamWow Guy, was all up in our grills on the TV screen, touting the virtues of his glorified shamus, proclaiming that you know it’s good because it’s made in Germany and offering multiple ShamWows for three easy payments. Actually, based on the frequency of those ShamWow infomercials, it probably was yesterday and multiple times today. But right now, hawking super shamuses isn’t what Vince is getting the most attention for. No, his arrest in Miami on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room would be Vince’s current top story. He was arrested last month after allegedly taking a $1,000 hooker back to his South Beach hotel room after meeting her at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7. Shlomi took Sasha Harris back to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel and gave her $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." For some odd reason, Shlomi decided that kissing his $1,000 hooker was the way to go. When he kissed her, Harris either didn’t like it or chose to play rough. She bit his tongue and wouldn’t let go, at which point Shlomi punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. She then left the hotel room, but hotel security spotted her on her way out of the building and called the cops. Harris refused to cooperate with the police, but after speaking with both her and Shlomi, officers reported “a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons.” So they were both drunk? Huh. Never would have guessed that, given the calm and conscientious demeanor they both exhibited in their encounter. A hooker and a john getting into an altercation at 4 a.m. are both drunk? I may never recover from that shock. Even without Harris’ cooperation, police were all but able to confirm the monetary portion of the story based on the $930 they recovered from her purse. Ultimately, prosecutors declined to file formal charges against the combatants even though both were arrested for felony aggravated battery. Harris claims to be considering a lawsuit against Shlomi, but you’re usually better off not relying on the word of a confirmed prostitute, so don’t bet on it. No word yet on how this will impact Shlomi’s career as a pitchman in infomercials or if the producers of products like the ShamWow or the Slap Chop will want a confirmed solicitor of South Beach Hookers selling their products on TV. Way to screw up the great thing you had going, Vince…….
- Hey college basketball fans, I’ve got another great reason for you to hate Duke. Although hating the Dukies has been a little less satisfying because the Blue Devils are no longer a serious threat to win the national title in any given season, their palpable arrogance is still reason enough to despise them. That being said, add some more fuel to that anti-Duke fire because the nation's top scoring freshman, Seth Curry of Liberty, has decided to transfer to Duke for next season. Curry, younger brother of scoring sensation Stephen Curry of Davidson, averaged 20.2 points a game for the Flames this past season and now he’ll be rocking the blue and white of Duke. Under NCAA transfer rules, he’ll have to sit out the 2009-10 season, but will be eligible for 2010-11 and have three years of eligibility remaining. Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski offered up the scholarship and Curry accepted after touring the Duke campus over the weekend. Clearly, he was not deterred by the fact that the Dukies are fortunate to make it as far as the Sweet 16 these days and are no longer one of college basketball’s elite programs. "Coach K kept telling him the timing couldn't be better," Seth’s father Dell Curry said. "There'll be plenty of opportunities to contribute." Reportedly, Seth Curry was won over by the opportunity to get a Duke education and also by the new Duke practice facility, which Dell said is on par with NBA facilities. I’m guessing that balling at a small mid-major school like Liberty was also a factor in the decision, because Seth Curry clearly has his eyes set on playing in the NBA some day and while Duke may no longer be a national title contender like it once was, the school does churn out quite a few solid NBA players. I can't say that I had many chances to see Liberty play this season, but from what I did see of Seth Curry he is a nice scorer and could be a star if he bulks up and finds his place at Duke. The fact that the Blue Devils continue to land blue-chip prospects even after they’ve begun their college careers elsewhere also gives me more ammo in my Duke hating, so I suppose that’s a positive as well. Hope you enjoy the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament each year, Seth, because that’s all the further you’ll ever get in your Duke career……
- Thanks for nothing, Supreme Court. You had a golden opportunity to address a significant issue that impacts nearly every American, regardless of age, race or gender, and you passed? Not a day goes by that my life isn’t made worse by the menace that is spam email, but you can’t be bothered with a case on the issue? What would have been so difficult about hearing a case that would have give you the opportunity to examine how far states can go to restrict unsolicited e-mails in efforts to block spammers from jamming the inboxes of computer users? The state of Virginia was making a commendable effort to keep its Computer Crimes Act in place, but the justices of the Supreme Court wouldn’t hear the case. The CCA was one of the toughest laws of its kind in the nation, the only one to ban noncommercial -- as well as commercial -- spam e-mail to consumers in that state, but now it will cease to exist. The case itself centered on prolific commercial spammer Jeremy Jaynes, who was convicted of a felony in 2004 for sending bulk unsolicited electronic messages. He became the first person in the United States convicted for such an offense after a Virginia jury found Jaynes used several computers and servers to send as many as 24,000 spam e-mails in one day to America Online subscribers. His operation was based on the use of false "header" info and sender domain names. What kills me about this conviction being tossed out is that a search of his Raleigh, North Carolina, home found CDs with more than 176 million e-mail addresses and 1.3 billion e-mail user names, some of them stolen by a former AOL employee. Jaynes was sentenced to nine years in prison, but the state high court eventually reversed the conviction. The idiots in the state supreme court said the law was overbroad because some bulk e-mails might contain political, religious, or other speech that has traditionally been given higher First Amendment protection than typical "commercial speech." Nice try, a-holes. No one who sends spam deserves any protection, period. They have no first amendment rights, they have no protection and they should have a jail cell waiting for them. No one wants their messages about mortgage scams, crank-enhancer pills from online pharmacies, get-rich-quick scams or any of the other garbage that people send junk emails about. The U.S. Supreme Court should have seized on the opportunity to weigh whether such anti-spam laws overreach into protected speech, but they wussed out. In Jaynes case, the decision isn’t that much of a travesty because he remains behind bars because of a federal securities fraud conviction unrelated to the state spamming charges. However, it sets a terrible precedent for like-minded idiots out there and that’s a problem for all of us……
- Attention all other contenders for the title of world’s worst dad: you may as well drop out of the race, because there is no freaking way you’re competing with Arcedio Alvarez Quintero. Alvarez, a central Colombian farm worker, has been accused of raping his daughter for decades and fathering eight children with her. The sexual abuse allegedly began shortly after 35-year-old Alba Nidia’s mother died and has continued for three decades, resulting in 14 pregnancies. Eight children -- five girls and three boys -- survived. Alvarez has finally been stopped and is being held in jail to face charges of sexual abuse, incest and aggravated sexual assault. He and his family live near the town of Mariquita in the western province of Tolima, where the local media have rightly dubbed him a "monster." Incredibly, Alvarez entered "innocent" pleas to the charges. His attorney, Ricardo Correa, said that his client's defense "will be that Alba Nidia is not his biological daughter," but his adopted child. Authorities plan to conduct blood tests to determine the two's genetic relationship, so the crux of this case should be cleared up very quickly. The thing is, even if Nidia isn’t his biological daughter and she didn’t want to have sex with him, all of those hundreds of encounters over the years were still wrong. "I feel confused -- knowing that he has been arrested, he is still my father," Nidia explained. "But I think it's the right thing to do." What truly sucks about this case is that even if Alvarez is convicted, he could receive as little as eight years in prison. Thankfully, local councilwoman Gilma Jimenez has offered her financial assistance to Nidia and has stood behind her throughout the past few weeks. "One of the tragedies of this whole story, is that it seems that many different people in the community knew about this situation, but no one said anything," Jimenez lamented. In the end, it was up to Nidia to find a way out of a bad situation and she did so by running away from the home she shared with her father nine months ago, taking her five daughters -- the youngest of whom was less than a year old -- and her 5-year-old son. Together, they moved to a nearby down and Nidia began working 15 hours a day at a restaurant and earning less than $3 a day for her efforts. Without Jiminez’s support, she and her children would not have been able to survive. Some observers have likened the case to that of Josef Fritzl, the 73-year-old Austrian who was sentenced this month to life in prison for imprisoning and raping his daughter in his basement over 24 years, during which time she gave birth to seven children. Both are incredibly creepy and disgusting, so I’m not going to even attempt to decide which one is worse because both are too revolting for that sort of analysis. No trial date has been scheduled for Alvarez at this point, but whenever the trial comes, I will be rooting for this certified piece of crap to get the maximum possible sentence. Ironically, the case comes as Colombia is weighing whether to change the constitution to punish convicted child abusers with up to life imprisonment. A campaign calling for a referendum on the issue says it has collected more than 2 million signatures, so hopefully the law will go into effect in time for Alvarez to spend the rest of his pathetic life behind bars…..
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