- Only one question for you, Canadian colleges: what sort of laws and restrictions do you have on couches on porches, keggers, bongs and block parties? Because you can bill yourselves as a cheaper alternative to American universities, but until you can assure me that me and my bong are welcome north of the border, it’s no deal. You can hold all of the college fairs featuring only Canadian colleges that you want for high school students in places like South Burlington, Vt. and tell them all about how four years at a Canadian university can cost a third of what a similar education would cost at a college in the United States. But if you think kids are going to the college where they can save money, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Parents may be eager to hear about cheaper education alternatives, no doubt about it. "We're also being conscientious about the expense of education," said Yvonne Garand, mother of Renee Garand, a junior at U-32 High School in South Burlington. "It's a good idea to just, you know, expand your, maybe your focus a little bit and look outside the box," her father, Rick Garand, added. Great, but if all little Renee gets is spending her next four years in some frozen tundra where warm weather is rare and chances for fun are even rarer, she’s not going to be down. I suppose one plus of going to college in Canada is that to find a warmer climate for spring break, you widen your alternatives to include just about anywhere in the United States. So while the Garands plan on visiting some Canadian universities in the summer, I urge all high school juniors and seniors to think bong, er, long and hard before applying to a Canadian university and committing to spending four years there……
- Rarely (see here “never”) do I root for the legal system, but I may have to make an exception to my rule in the case of Inez M. Starks, an Eastpointe (Mich.) woman who actually had the chutzpah to file a lawsuit in which a FREAKING POLICE DOG WAS NAMED AS A DEFENDANT. Starks sued after allegedly being bitten by the German shepherd April 7, 2007, outside of her daughter's home during a confrontation between police, her daughter and others. Starks said she was bitten when police went to the home after receiving a truancy complaint against Stark's daughter involving her daughter's child. The situation soon turned into a two-for-one for the cops when they found the woman's brother, who had an outstanding warrant. Unfortunately, the man fled and the dog was brought in to chase him down. That’s when Starks, who was living across the street from her daughter at the time, said she came over. She claims a fight had broken out and because she had to put her nose where it didn’t belong, she thrust herself into harm’s way. If you believe her version of the story, the dog bit her soon after she crossed the street. Furthermore, Starks claims that she was bitten on her right buttock and that the bite caused damage to her sacroiliac nerve, impairing her ability to walk and keeping her in pain. However, police at the scene reported no evidence on Starks’ person to prove that she had been bitten. The conspiracy theorist in me (and the law enforcement hater) would love to accuse the police of lying and fudging the report, but to be honest, Inez Starks doesn’t strike me as being all that bright or truthful. Judge David Viviano seems to agree with me, because he fined Starks $500 for frivolously naming the dog as a defendant in her lawsuit and another $500 for failing to appear in Macomb County Circuit Court for a February hearing. Memo to you, Inez: if you file a lawsuit, no matter how frivolous, you need to show up in court for all of the hearings. Suing the city and several police officers are cool in my book any day of the week, but including the dog was ridiculous at best and not showing up is just bush league. Now, you must pay the $1,000 fine by April 13 or her case will be dismissed. Paying the fine means throwing away $1,000 on a case you don’t have a prayer of winning and not paying it means looking like a chump and having the suit dismissed. Game over for you, Inez. Next time have a freaking clue what you’re doing before you go filing lawsuits against cities, cops and dogs……
- Aaron Spelling’s passing in 2006 was a sad occasion for his Hollywood friends and family, but now that he’s gone, his widow must figure out what to do with his luxurious mansion, dubbed "The Manor" and located in the exclusive Holmby Hills neighborhood of sunny Southern California. After some deliberation, Candy Spelling has decided to sell the mansion - for a whopping $150 million, that is. She’s in a tough spot, to be sure, but I guess you have to do what you have to do. On one hand, the Southern California housing market is in the crapper (like most places in the United States), so getting that steep asking price is going to be next to impossible. On the other hand, when you’re holding a French chateau-style mansion with 56,500 square feet of space on more than 4.6 acres that is the largest home in Los Angeles County, you don’t exactly hold a fire sale for it either. At $150 million, it’s the most expensive home for sale in the U.S. Coldwell Banker Previews International in Los Angeles is co-listing the luxurious property, which should land the commission of a lifetime for Coldwell agent Sally Forster Jones. Of course, your potential clientele is limited with a $150 million price tag: elite athletes with massive endorsement deals, studio heads, top-notch actors and of course, foreign drug lords. All of these people can pony up the cash for a three-story mansion built in 1991, featuring a gate around the perimeter of the property, a winding driveway and ceilings that reach up to 30 feet high. One potential upside is that once inside, you may never have to leave, not with 100 rooms, including a bowling alley, wine cellar, wine tasting room, gift-wrapping room, a humidity-controlled silver storage room, China room, library, gym and a media room. Oh, and there’s also a 17,000 square-foot attic that includes a barber shop and beauty salon, and a wing for service staff, including a kitchen and seven bedrooms, and five fireplaces and four wet bars. Parking is never a concern, not with 16 car ports and a winding motor court with space for more than 100 cars. Should you actually want to venture outside, you can also take advantage of a tennis court, fountains, a waterfall, a pool and spa, a reflection pool and a pool house with a kitchen. Possible downsides….finding a way to pay for all the energy you’ll need to use to run the place? But I guess if you’re that rich, you’ve found a way to live with your ginormous impact on the environment because of conspicuous consumption of energy and also have ample resources to pay for it. Don’t feel bad for Candy Spelling, either; she’s moving into a luxurious two-story condo atop a residential tower in Los Angeles that she bought last year for $47 million. I’m sure she’ll be very happy there, since she took the utmost care in selecting the real estate agent who found her new pad. Oh wait, no she didn’t. She apparently let her dog Madison, a soft-coated Wheaten Terrier, help pick out the real estate agent by having her security bring the dog into the room every time she met one of the candidate agents and watched how the dog reacted. Well done, Candy. Hopefully Madison can also help Sally Forster Jones evaluate potential buyers, bite the ones she doesn’t like and pee on the shoes of the winning bidder……
- Instead of “bring ‘em out” for rapper T.I., it’s “lock ‘em up” time. The rapper, whose real name is Clifford Harris, was sentenced in Atlanta federal court Friday to one year and one day in prison and ordered to pay a $100,300 fine on weapons charges related to purchasing machine guns and silencers. The terms of the sentence were spelled out in a plea agreement T.I. and his legal team reached with prosecutors last year. “I would like to say thank you to some, and apologize to others,” Harris said at his sentencing. “In my life, I have been placed in the worst-case scenario and had to make the best of it. Most often, things I have learned have been from trial and error. I knew no way to protect myself than to arm myself.” Now it’s time to learn a new way of life, a life that will begin after what I’d expect to be less than the one year and one day behind bars. With good behavior, expect T.I. to be brought out of prison at least a few weeks early. When that happens, he will also have to deal with other parts of his plea agreement that include property forfeiture, supervised release for three years after his prison sentence, 365 days of home confinement and 1,500 hours of community service. He has already served 305 days of home confinement and 1,030 hours of service, so only 60 days of home confinement to go and 470 hours of community service up ahead. Additionally, Harris must undergo DNA testing and drug counseling, cannot own firearms and must submit to reasonable searches and a financial audit. Key in the plea deal and lenient sentence Harris received was the support from notable public figures, including former Atlanta Mayor and U.N. Ambassador Andrew Young. Young spoke on behalf of Harris, saying he regarded working with Harris not so much as a chance to help him but more as "an opportunity for him to help me." Bishop Eddie Long of the New Birth Baptist Church also spoke in support of Harris after he and Harris went to a hospital for paraplegics in New York. Other portions of Harris’ community service included mentoring at-risk students at 58 schools, 12 Boys & Girls Clubs, nine churches and many other nonprofit organizations. Oh, and he also served his own cause during his year awaiting sentencing (part of his plea deal), releasing his sixth CD, "Paper Trail," which has sold close to 2 million copies. Prison should give him a nice bump of street cred and boost album sales, too. Harris also made use of his year of freedom to star in the MTV reality show, "T.I.'s Road to Redemption: 45 Days to Go," which chronicles his efforts to shave years off his sentence by completing his community service. On the show, he has spoken to schools and community groups "about how to avoid the trouble he now finds himself in.” Not exactly the sort of project Harris probably thought he’d be starring in after rising from the streets of Atlanta to become one of the biggest names in the hi-hop game, starring in the film "ATL" and appearing in Chevy commercials with NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. In 2006, he was named to the Forbes list of top-earning rappers after making an estimated $16 million. All of that changed when he was arrested in October 2007 in an Atlanta parking lot hours before he was to perform at the BET Hip Hop Awards. That arrest came after he was caught in a federal sting after his bodyguard-turned-informant delivered three machine guns and two silencers to him. not exactly that sort of behavior you’d hope for, giving your bodyguard $12,000 to buy illegal weapons after being convicted in 1998 on felony drug charges -- possession of crack cocaine with intent to distribute -- in Cobb County. Will the T.I. who emerges from prison some time in the next year be a permanently changed man? I’ll remain skeptical on that but hope for the best……
- I’ve been asking myself for some time now how to go about scoring myself a sweet new endorsement deal and no one has quite been able to provide a satisfactory answer. I now know that I should have been directing my questions to French pole vaulting champion Romain Mesnil all along. Seeing what Mesnil did in his attempts to secure a new endorsement deal, I clearly see that he has a true understanding of what it takes to get the job done. Mesnil, who won a silver medal at the 2007 Athletics World Championships in Osaka, ran naked with his pole through the streets of Paris in an attempt to draw attention to his quest for a new sponsorship deal. He then posted the video on the Internet, hoping to get the word out globally. After being sponsored by Nike but having his contract expired last year and not be renewed, Mesnil was left searching for options. "It was probably for budgetary and strategic reasons. It's the crisis," he wrote on his Web site of Nike’s decision. Whatever the case, I like what he’s doing to solve the problem. Many athletes are having difficulties obtaining corporate sponsorship as companies cut costs because of the global economic downturn, but I don’t know of any other athletes willing to take off all their clothes and streak through the streets of one of the world’s most famous cities. In his video, Mesnil runs with his pole as if preparing for a vault at tourist spots like Montmartre and the Pont des Arts across the River Seine. In the video, a black square has been added to the footage to cover his groin area, but the effect is still there. So far, the stunt has drawn some attention for Mesnil’s plight. It was broadcast on prime-time state television news bulletins, but no word on whether any endorsement offers are rolling in. What will be rolling in soon is my phone call to Mesnil, because we need to sit down and do a little brainstorming for my own similar stunt…..
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