- Right now, we don’t know how much of what is being alleged against Cleveland Browns receiver Donte Stallworth is true. What we do know is that if what is being reported at present is true, Stallworth is a complete and total douche bag. The allegations are that Stallworth was driving drunk when he plowed into and killed pedestrian Mario Reyes while driving his Bentley in Miami Beach this past weekend. Police in Miami Beach said they are still awaiting toxicology results on Stallworth, so no charges have been filed so far. Media outlets in South Florida are reporting that Stallworth’s blood-alcohol level was above the Florida legal limit of .08 percent at the time of the accident, a claim that law enforcement officials refuse to confirm. "Right now, we don't have the results and we don't have anything to release," Miami Beach police officer Deborah Doty said. "There are a lot of rumors going around and it's unfortunate. People have to respect that there is a person who is deceased." Well……not really. People should respect that a man died in this tragic incident, but they won't. Because a famous professional athlete is involved, people’s common decency goes out the window. It doesn’t matter that so far, Stallworth has not been charged with a crime and continues to take part in the Browns' voluntary offseason conditioning program. "My family and I are grief-stricken over the tragic accident which occurred Saturday on Miami Beach where Mario Reyes sadly lost his life," Stallworth said in a prepared statement released earlier in the week by the Browns. "My thoughts and prayers are with the Reyes family during this incredibly difficult time." Yeah, I’m sure those sentiments will mean a whole lot to the Reyes family if and when they learn that you got behind the wheel of your luxury sled drunk and ran over their loved one. Something tells me they won't value your thoughts and prayers that much if that’s what happened, D. For everyone’s sake, I hope those reports aren’t true and that you weren’t drunk at the time of the crash, but why is it that I’m pretty certain that they are true? Welcome to the Leonard Little Club, amigo……..
- Even paradise isn’t immune to the invasion of nature upon its shores. Anyone in Honolulu and looking to enjoy some quality time at the beach on Hanauma Bay, you should be making other plans at this point. Lifeguards closed the bay on Friday after box jellyfish washed onto shore. I’m no jellyfish expert or marine biologist, but from what I understand, box jellyfish are pretty dangerous critters. So when more than 40 box jellyfish washed onto shore in an hour and many more were spotted floating in the water, the decision to close the bay was elementary. Officials will continue to monitor conditions to determine when to reopen the beach. If you are fortunate enough to be in Hawai’i and heading to the beach, make sure to check with a lifeguard or look for posted warning signs. Of course, knowing how people are, it’s a safe bet that at least a few idiots will do neither and end up getting stung by a jellyfish, since there are just so many stupid, clueless people in this world. In that case, the affected idiot who is stung by a jellyfish should flush out the sting with vinegar. If there is any justice for the stupid in this world and that jellyfish sting causes cramping or persistent pain as a nice payback, that person should seek medical attention. As for the jellyfish invasion itself, it typically happens nine to 10 days after a full moon. Now you’ve all been warned, so hopefully a few of you are actually listening……..
- Have you ever asked yourself why so many stupid people end up as criminals? I know I have. So far, I don’t have a definitive answer, but people like William N. Spencer of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware are providing plenty of data for me to examine. Seems that Willy Spencer robbed his local Food Lion grocery store at knifepoint and had an interesting way of trying to get away with the heist. Police were called to the Food Lion north of Rehoboth Beach at 11 p.m. Tuesday and two employees reported being confronted by a man near a register. The man "produced a large butcher knife, threatening harm to the employees if they refused," then fled with an undisclosed amount of money. That man, we now know, was William Spencer. However, rather than take a route that had a decent chance of success in terms of getting away with the robbery, say laying low, staying as far from the cops as possible and trying to steer clear of the investigation, Spencer decided that the optimal choice was interjecting himself into the middle of the situation. He phoned in a tip to the police implicating his roommate in the robbery, apparently trying to divert attention and confuse investigators. Investigators got a tip from an unidentified male caller "claiming his roommate might have been the person who committed the robbery." When they interviewed the roommate, police quickly determined that he wasn’t the man responsible for the robbery "because he clearly did not resemble the person depicted in the photographs obtained by investigators of the robber." As a quick aside, it’s always a good idea when trying to pin a crime on someone to make sure that they resemble the actual robber as seen on surveillance footage. Since Spencer knew what the actual robber looked like (assuming he’s smart enough to look into a mirror and know that the person looking back is him), pinning the crime on his roommate was clearly a bad idea. However, the roommate did have a suggestion for police on who the suspect might be: Spencer. These two must not have a great relationship, because neither had any compunctions about throwing the other under the bus for this crime. Once police obtained photographs of Spencer, they immediately matched him up with the man seen in the surveillance footage from the store and made the arrest. Spencer has been charged with first-degree robbery and possession of a deadly weapon during a felony. He’s not cooperating with investigators at this point, which is ironic because when he was trying to pin the robbery on his unsuspecting roomie, he was all too willing to help out the police. But I guess that didn’t work out too well for him, eh………
- For quite some time now, I’ve been asking myself why people a) think Julia Roberts is a good actress, and b) think Julia Roberts is attractive. I’ve seen enough movies with her in them to know that the first of those statements is not really true and the second one is blatantly false. As such, I went into her new film, “Duplicity,” fully expecting to see a bad or mediocre movie. After seeing it…..let’s just say that my expectations were met. Spending just over two hours watching Ray Koval (Clive Owen) or Claire Stenwick (Roberts) try to pull of their roles as professional spies -- CIA and MI6, respectively - was nearly enough to send me for the exit multiple times. Their story is that they met in Dubai in 2002, end up sleeping together and when Ray wakes up, Claire is gone. They don’t cross paths again until several years later, when both are no longer government spies and are working in the private sector. On the surface, they’re working for rival pharmaceutical companies, but Claire is actually a double agent who has infiltrated one outfit's security team to get the scoop on its top secret product launch. Back and forth the pair goes, trying to dupe and deceive one another and everyone else around them in the process. I think this film is supposed to be clever, witty and charming, but it fails on all three fronts. Writer-director Tony Gilroy seems to be working under the misguided impression that Roberts is really attractive, which she clearly isn’t. She’s also not all that likeable on the big screen, not from where I sit. Having her take what amounted to a five-year sabbatical from movies (except for relatively small roles in "Ocean's Twelve" and "Charlie Wilson's War”) was a blessing, I have to say. She’s forgettable in a movie that is far too paint-by-numbers and feels the need to spell out everything for the viewer just in case everyone watching it is a complete moron. There are some movies that are a waste of time, some that a big waste of time and others that are a ginormous waste of time. This one falls somewhere closer to the bottom end of that theatrical totem pole……..
- I suppose it’s a nice symbolic gesture that First Lady Michelle Obama is planting a new White House organic "kitchen garden,” the first working garden at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. since Eleanor Roosevelt planted a "victory garden" during World War II. While you might think that the goal for planting the garden is to show solidarity for the many Americans who plan to plant their own gardens this year to provide cheaper food for their families during tough economic times, the actual target is obesity. “We're just hoping that a lot of families look at us and say this is something that they can do and talk to their own kids about and think a little bit critically about the food choices that they make,” said Marian Robinson, the president's mother-in-law. A group of Washington schoolchildren were invited to take part in digging and planting the garden, receiving a special chat from Michelle Obama for their efforts. She told the children that her daughters were much more likely to try fruits and vegetables if they were fresh and homegrown. “What I found with my kids [is that] if they were involved in planting it and picking it, they were much more curious about giving it a try,” she added. :I've been able to have my kids eat so many different things that they would have never touched if we had bought it at a store because they either met the farmers that grew it, or they saw how it was grown.” What I didn’t know was that many health food and fitness advocates had been arguing for a White House garden, saying it would set a positive example for families short on time and money, who are often tempted by unhealthy fast food. So what will be grown in the presidential garden? On the planting list are butterhead and red leaf lettuce, spinach, broccoli, onions, carrots, peas, sage, oregano and rosemary. Unlike your family, of course, the Obamas won't actually be preparing and cooking their own veggies, but I guess this is as close as you can get to normal living in the White House…….
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