- The disturbing trend of former current and former professional wrestlers dying far too young continues. Sadly, former World Wrestling Entertainment star Andrew Martin, who was known as "Test" and "The Punisher" to fans, died at his Tampa home over the weekend at the age of 33. He becomes the latest in a startling, depressing succession of former pro wrestlers to pass away before the age of 50, following men like Curt Hennig, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit and far too many others. Of course, Benoit’s death was technically a suicide but it almost certainly came as the result of some sort of mental breakdown due to the many steroids he was using, which is obviously the major issue here. An autopsy has been scheduled to determine the cause of death for Martin, but police say there was no indication of foul play. He had not performed for WWE since February 2007, but had spent a short stint with Total Nonstop Action Wrestling after his departure from WWE. While with World Wrestling Entertainment, Martin held the Intercontinental, European and Hardcore belts, and was also a tag-team champion. A neighbor called police when she saw Martin lying motionless for several hours through an outward-facing window. Making any link to steroids is purely speculation at this point, but during his time in professional wrestling, Martin was definitely known for his chiseled, imposing physique and rippling muscles, which many in the business have attained through performance-enhancing drugs. I’d be surprised if Martin had never taken steroids and if they didn’t contribute to his untimely passing, so here’s hoping that this might finally be the breaking point where all professional wrestling companies begin to make serious efforts to eliminate all steroid use among their wrestlers, period………
- Drug addicts and dealers tend not to be the smartest people in the world. This is not a segment of the population I like to offend, but my drug dealer friends out there know where I’m coming from. I can say things like this because of people like Ashley Lynn Clarke, a Lincoln, Neb. resident who was the victim of a recent home invasion robbery. Young Ms. Clark had a safe stolen from her home and when she realized what had been taken, she had the response I believe most of us would have: she called the police. There was only one problem with that course of action, which is the following: most of us would call the police if a safe was stolen from our home, but most of us are not drug dealers stashing more than 520 grams of pot in our home safes. Yes, this chick called the cops for help in recovering her drug stash and the $4,120 in cash she kept in the safe. It’s at this point I feel compelled to speak to Ashley Clarke, because she obviously needs some help and life guidance. Ashley, while I realize it must be traumatic to be robbed at gunpoint by four people inside your home, the one place you should feel safe, you need to think things through. As outraged as you are and as much as you want the punks caught who broke into your home and robbed you, which is worse: losing your stash and $4,000 or going to jail on charges of possession of a controlled substance with intent to deliver. In other words, would you rather be a poorer, drug-less robbery victim with her freedom or a resident of your local correctional facility with your safe back but your drugs and cash in police custody? I bet you were pretty happy when Nebraska state troopers stopped a vehicle near 56th and Calvert streets in Lincoln less than a week after the robbery and inside were two men, two juvenile boys, a safe, ski masks, a knife and a .45 caliber handgun - along with your safe. The thing is, even at this point, Clarke still had a chance to get out of this unscathed. When the police asked Clarke for permission to open her safe, she could have said no. Honestly, what other option did she have at that point? She knew there were drugs inside and she knew that if the cops opened the safe, they would find and identify the drugs. But hearkening back to my thesis about the overall intelligence level among drug dealers and users, Clarke gave the officers permission to open the safe. She gave them the wrong combination, perhaps intentionally, but unfortunately the police were at least a little smarter than she was and one of the officers suggested they try using Clarke’s birthday for the combination. It worked, the safe was opened and inside were the hippie lettuce and the cash. From there, Clarke turned herself in and the circle of idiocy was completed……..
- Maybe I’m seeing this all wrong, but I’d say there’s a fair chance that some Venezuelan citizens could end up going to jail simply for booing at a baseball game. Sounds dramatic and hyperbolic, sure…..for a nation run by a normal, sensible and non-dictatorial leader. But this is Venezuela we’re talking about, run by the despotic, uber-dictator himself, Hugo Chavez. And when Hugo Chavez takes issue with Venezuelan baseball fans booing outfielder Magglio Ordonez at the World Baseball Classic on Sunday, that’s not a small issue. When Venezuelan fans are booing Ordonez, heckling him for his friendship with the despised dictator and prompting Chavez to publicly rip them for their actions, it’s time for those fans to worry - even if they are on U.S. soil. Chavez declared that the fans who booed the Detroit Tigers slugger "have no shame." "Everyone has the right to think about politics," Chavez said. "This is shameful. Viva Magglio, and all our patriots!" Them are fightin’ words, if I’m not mistaken. I also have a feeling that if fans were just booing Ordonez for poor play on the field, Chavez wouldn’t have as big of a problem with it. However, the booing comes just a month after Ordonez appeared in a television ad supporting a proposal by Chavez to eliminate term limits for the president and other elected officials through a constitutional amendment. Sadly, Chavez managed to rig that vote, er, the measure passed and many Venezuelans aren’t happy about it. Joining Chavez for a friendly softball game ahead of the vote also isn’t helping Ordonez’s popularity with opposition groups and their members, even if Chavez continues to lie and claim that the softball game -- billed on state television as "The Amendment Cup" -- was not a political event. Should you have any doubts about the depth of strength of the outrage against the fans who booed Ordonez at the game in Miami, look no further than Sports Minister Victoria Mata, who also condemned the incident in a news report titled "Venezuelan worms in Miami" that was carried by YVKE Mundial, a state-run radio network. For the sake of those booing fans, I’m hoping that they are either ex-pats who intend to remain in the U.S. permanently or are on their way to another country far, far away from Venezuela, because I have a sneaking suspicion that if they ever set foot in Chavez-ville from here on out, they won't be heard from again……
- Just what the world needs, another TV show about rich, spoiled, beautiful people. Ashton Kutcher must be bored now that Punk’d is off the air, because he’s teaming up with the CW for A Beautiful Life, a teen drama based in New York City and based upon Kutcher’s life growing up as a model from Iowa and the whole fashion world that he was in. As a quick aside….the CW is really, really pissing me off. I’ve written numerous times about Damn Dawn Ostroff and the tools running the network alongside her, killing off quality shows like Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars and Everwood. Those decisions were offensive and idiotic at best, but I’m not exaggerating in the least when I say that it now appears to be the CW’s goal to comprise an entire lineup of shows about rich people living spoiled, irrelevant lives in either New York or Southern California. They already have Gossip Girl, 90210 and Privileged, so adding A Beautiful Life is another step toward that goal. No, I don’t care that this new rich people show will star former O.C. bad girl and hottie Mischa Barton, that’s not enough for me to overlook everything else I just mentioned. Some vapid, glitzy show about a group of models who live together in Manhattan is just a waste of time and air space. Barton will be playing Sonja, an experienced, bitchy supermodel, a role that should fit just fine for her with her background in modeling….well, for the four or five weeks the show is on the air before it’s canceled for abysmal ratings, anyhow……..
- How very soccer of you, soccer. Only in your ridiculous sport would a fan come to a game strapped so he could shoot and kill a player on the opposing team at a key moment in the game. This soccer absurdity could take place in any number of nations around the world where soccer fan does his thing - countries in South America, Europe and Asia - but this particular incident comes to us from a place that we Americans should be very familiar with because, oh heck, we wrongfully invaded it six-plus years ago and still haven’t left. Yes, it’s Iraq! At a match that took place in the town of Hillah, just south of Baghdad, a striker from the Buhairat amateur team was shot dead just as he was about to kick what could have been the tying goal in a 1-0 game. The player lined up for a penalty kick, was about to blast away to whichever corner of the goal he had picked out when….BANG! A fan of the rival Sinjar club shot him in the head, killing him almost instantly. Seriously, this might be the most heinous incident involving soccer fan yet. The losers who threw lit road flares at players during a game in Europe a few years ago look civilized and compassionate by comparison. Bagging up blood and urine to lob at rival fans and rioting in the streets seem like a good idea juxtaposed against this lunatic. First off, I realize that Iraq is a dangerous place and you probably would feel the need to protect yourself if you lived there, but you are going to a soccer game, not a gang war. When did you think you might need the gun, if the popcorn vendor tried to stiff you on your change or if someone tried to cut in front of you in the line for the restroom? And how does it even enter your mind that, “Hey, that guy is about to take a penalty kick that could tie the game and my team may not win. What can I do? Our goalie will never stop this shot. I know, I’ll bust out my 9mm and shoot the guy in the head, that’ll take care of everything!” Good reasoning, soccer fan. Either it will fix everything or it will leave an innocent man dead, his family grieving, you in jail and the rest of us with yet another example of just how ridiculous soccer is……
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