- Political karma is a b*tch, eh W.? After giving Congress, the Constitution and the American people a ginormous middle finger for most (if not all) of his time in office, our un-esteemed leader is finding that Congress is now doing the same thing right back to him. W. whined over the weekend that the Senate has failed to vote on 180 of his nominees for federal posts, including many to the federal bench. These judges have been kept in waiting for a year or more, but the Senate doesn’t appear in a hurry to confirm their appointments. In response, the Democratic-led Senate responded by saying that W. nominated many people who had no chance of being approved to begin with. For one, I’m stunned W. can even read a calendar and figure out that his nominees have been stalled for a year. So maybe someone in his administration helped him out there, but what they can’t help him out with is the fact that he’s pissed off Congress over and over on numerous issues, most prominently the war-funding debate wherein he’s strong-armed them into giving more money to continue the Mess O’Potamia, a.k.a. the war in Iraq, W.’s own personal Vietnam. So I’d say this is a nice “Screw you” from the Senate to W. and it’s a long time coming.
- So apparently Bill Gates can’t just buy everything he wants. The Microsoft founder and chairman had made a $44.6 billion bid to take over struggling Internet company Yahoo Inc., but that bid was rejected because Yahoo executives say the unsolicited offer undervalues their struggling company. Even as Yahoo falters and its stock drops substantially in value, apparently the suits at the company don’t feel like $44.6 billion is quite enough. That may not sit well with Microsoft, which is looking to wipe out one of its competitors and do so at a cut-rate price. If Microsoft so chooses, they can try to do and end-around by taking their offer directly to Yahoo’s shareholders, a move that would allow them to get past the rejection of their offer and still get what they want. So who says no to Bill Gates and his billions? For now, Yahoo does, but they had better hope that their shareholders have their backs on this one or they could end up falling victim to the wishes of B. Gates and his high-tech posse.....
- Freaking awesome. I don’t know any other way to describe last night’s episode of Prison Break and capture how much fun it was to watch. This was literally the best episode of the season and one of the top five in the show’s three seasons. It had plenty of the Michael Scofield plotting, conniving, twists and turns that make the show so great. Things kicked off with the seven=man escape group perched at the top of the tunnel they had dug out into “no man’s land,” the area outside the prison wall but inside the facility’s perimeter fence. With Michael’s big bro Lincoln having crashed a stolen bus into a light pole and thus knocked out power to the prison. However, with Lechero, Brad Bellick and T-Bag having forced their way to the front of the line to exit the hole and make a run for the fence, Michael, Whistler, Mahone and “McGrady” were left to wait even though Michael advised them that they had only 30 seconds until the backup generator kicked in and turned the lights back on. Here’s where the first double-cross comes in: Michael had previously expressed regret that in escaping, he was going ot have to take bad guys like T-Bag and Lechero with him. So what does he do? Lie to them about how long it will be before the backup generator kicks in and waits in the escape hole, hidden below the ground and a makeshift cover disguising the hole, while the lights kick on and T-Bag, Lechero and Bellick are seen and captured by the prison guards as they attempt to escape. A mass of military personnel and guards swept in after shooting Lechero and ordering Bellick and T-Bag to the ground. The latter two stupidly decided not to give up Scofield and the other three based on the idea, as T-Bag said, that Scofield might be able to fix the mess they were in. Michael then revealed to the other three still with him in the tunnel that this was all in his plan and as soon as the coast cleared a bit, they eased above ground and made a bee-line for the weakened section of fence that Sucre (more on him later) had sprayed with chemicals to eat away at it. The remaining four made it out of the tunnel just in time, as a weak-minded Bellick cracked under pressure and revealed the escape plan to the guards. Realizing they were four men short, the guards and prison officials went into full throttle to lock things down, but they soon discovered the hole in the fence and realized that the prisoners were gone. Michael and his crew were into the jungle, where they ran in the wee hours of the morning, heading for a beach rendezvous with Linc. They met up with him on the beach where he and Sofia hid a cooler full of gear earlier in the season. Once on the beach, the four escapees and link took off their shoes, dumped them in the cooler, buried it and took out oxygen tanks to use as they swam out to sea, under the water’s surface to avoid detection. When the pursuing guards reached the beach, they found nothing and were about to turn back when they discovered the cooler. Realizing that the escapees were in the water, they decided to call in the coast guard. Meanwhile, the four escapees and Linc reached a buoy out in the water where they were to be picked up by the sixth member of the team, Sucre. Unfortunately, as we saw last week, Sucre had been detained at the prison where he had been working as a member of the grounds crew because of an outstanding arrest warrant. Thus, he never picked up the boat that he was supposed to use to transport the escapees into Panama City for the exchange of Whistler for Linc’s son LJ and Whistler’s girlfriend Sofia. With Sucre unable to do his duty, the five men looked lost until “McGrady’s” dad came through. He had been waiting for his son at a pre-prescribed location after Linc told him that his son would be broken out of prison, but he figured went to the marina where he was supposed to meet his son and found that the boat hadn’t been taken out like it was supposed to be. Using Linc’s directions, he searched and found the five men in the water and transported them back to the marina. From there McGrady and his dad said goodbye and the four remaining men - Scofield, Linc, Mahone and Whistler, left in an old SUV. They weren’t on the road long before they found an angry Gretchen on the tail, looking out for the Company’s interests. She and a car with some of her team both pursued the vehicle driven by Linc, but with some crazy driving, Linc lost Gretchen and took the other car back to the middle-of-nowhere cabin he and Sucre rented earlier in the season. There, they started a firefight but once inside the cabin, turned on the taped recording of gunshots that Linc and Sucre made when they bought the cabin and used that to hold off their pursuers while the four of them escaped out the back door and into a second vehicle, another clunker. When Gretchen arrives at the cabin, she figures out the ploy and places an angry phone call to Linc. By this time, he and the others are at an abandoned warehouse nearby where they demand the exchange take place. Whistler, however, is having second thoughts. He thinks that even if Michael and Linc hand him over to the Company. LJ and Sofia will be killed. As the quartet waits for Gretchen and her team, an opportunistic Mahone sees his chance to bolt. He is about to leave because, as he puts it, “I don’t have a horse in this race any more.” He may not have a reason to stay, but Linc has a reason for not letting him leave. Because Mahone shot and killed Michael and Linc’s dad last season near the Mexican border and because of all the hell he’s brought on their family, Linc is about to shoot Mahone when Whistler sees his own chance to escape. He leaps out of a window on the second floor of the warehouse onto a truck nearby, then runs away, steals a truck from an innocent bystander and speeds off, leaving Michael and Linc in his wake. With no Whistler to exchange, what will they do now? Of course, even if Whistler had stayed, his bird-watching book that he used to write down the coordinates the company wants from him fell out during the escape and is still at SONA (found by T-Bag, actually, not sure how that helps him though). Speaking of T-Bag, at episode’s end, he’s being interrogated for information about Scofield when he spots the departing Sucre and fingers him as having information about Scofield. Sucre denies it, but the warden looks into it and finds out who Sucre really is, a wanted fugitive from the United States who escaped from Fox River Prison with Scofield. So next week, sadly, is the season finale, although with the strike now over, some people hope the season might still have a little more life in it. The teaser for next week showed Whistler, Scofield, Linc and Gretchen all in the same place, so somehow they meet up again. But that’s all for now, so until the all-too-soon season finale next Monday......
- God bless you ESPN, you finally had a good idea. After televising poker extensively and making the spelling bee an annual staple of your network, I was starting to have my doubts. But the Worldwide Leader, which now airs Monday Night Football, is doing something I hope other networks will take notice of and apply to their coverage of all sports. Beginning next season, ESPN will be deep-sixing sideline reporters Michelle Tafoya and Suzy Kolber from the sidelines during broadcasts. The two will still be part of the broadcast during pre-game and postgame, but during games their presence will be virtually nil. Now this is not a slam against them because they’re women; I feel the same way about all sideline reporters, regardless of their sex. They are unnecessary and an annoying part of the broadcast. They ask the same run-of-the-mill questions from coaches and get the same perfunctory answers every game (What do you need to do to turn things around in the second half, coach? Well, we just need to execute and stop making mistakes.) Those oh, so informative Q&A sessions told me absolutely nothing. Nor do I need them to update me on injuries, because someone on the sidelines can get that info and pass it up to the announcers in the booth. Not having a sideline reporter shoving am microphone into the coach’s face two minutes before kickoff will be nice for the coaches too, so that’s side benefit. The less of sideline reporters we see during broadcasts of all sporting events, the better.
- Can bags of sunflower seeds save a TV show from extinction? I’m going with no, but don’t tell that to fans of the USA Network show 4400. Wahpeton, N.D.-based Giants Snacks, which manufactures sunflower seeds that happen to be a choice snack item for the character portrayed by actor Jeffrey Combs, has shipped some 6,000 bags of their most popular snack to USA in an attempt to get the network to revive the show, which was dumped in December during the writers’ strike. Orders from 30 countries and more than a dozen states helped fuel the effort, but USA had already received 30 pounds of seeds before the unsolicited order from Giants Snacks. As I said, I’d love for this effort to have a chance, but I’ve been on the wrong end of two such campaigns to save two of the absolute best shows of all time , Ed (NBC) and Everwood (WB/CW) and neither one worked. We Everwood fans rented a ginormous Ferris wheel, hearkening back to two memorable scenes from the show, and had it set up for a day outside the CW’s California offices in an attempt to keep our beloved show alive (alas, the CW, in its infinite stupidity, would not do so). Fans of Ed pooled our donations to buy ads in several entertainment industry trade magazines urging NBC to keep the funniest show I’ve ever seen on the air, but that effort failed as well. Fact is, when networks make their moronic, financially motivated decisions on getting rid of good shows and keeping crappy ones, there’s no talking them out of it. So best of success with your campaign, 4400 fans, I sincerely hope you can score a victory for the little guy.....
Monday, February 11, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
A new Lenny Kravitz album, West Virginians getting screwed and Barack Obama comes through for me
- Lenny Kravitz has been around a while and endured a lot of crap and criticism from a lot of people. He’s dated high-profile hotties like Nicole Kidman and released more albums (eight) than you probably realize. I for one am a fan of Kravitz’s, and although he’s not one of my favorite artists to listen to, I have most of his music in my substantial iTunes collection. His latest effort, It’s Time for a Revolution, is his first in four years and in the time off, Kravitz clearly looked back to what has made him successful so far. Love Revolution opens the album and reminds you a lot of Are You Gonna Go My Way, one of the biggest hits of his career to this point. Kravitz also channels Led Zeppelin, never a bad thing, by using the main riff from Zep’s Custard Pie as the base upon which he builds Bring It On. Love and faith are big topics on the ablum and while Lenny isn’t going to be drawing comparisons of John Lennon for lyrical brilliance, he rocks out with a familiar style and a retro-soul vibe that melds actual musicianship (take that, American Karaoke!) and a message of some substance. For people who were disappointed in the slickness of Kravitz’s last album Baptized, this album will be more of the Lenny you came to know and love before that effort. It’s worth a listen, though.
- Attaboy, Barack Obama. I knew you had it in you and you proved me right by winning all three state presidential primaries held over the weekend. Obama won handily in Louisiana, Nebraska, Washington state and the U.S. Virgin Islands, narrowing Hank Clinton’s leading and giving his own campaign much-needed momentum. Hank chose to focus not on the losses, but rather on likely Republican nominee John McCain, calling his probable selection “more of the same” for Republicans. Not so fast, Hank. While you have to admire that dude’s focus, Hank needs to worry about the Democratic nomination, which Barack Obama is slowly ripping from Hank’s mannish hands. Now Hank still leads by a narrow 1,055-998 margin, but there’s positive news there as well. Obama is looking strong heading into this week’s so-called “Potomac Primaries” in Virginia, Maryland and Washington, D.C., meaning he could take the lead in delegates. A total of 2,055 delegates is needed to win the nomination, so we’re at about the halfway point there. I’m counting on all the voters in Virginia, Maryland and D.C. to do the right thing and get Hank Clinton out of this race ASAP, because unless that dude is gone, this race becomes a recipe for disaster as we head toward November.
- For a magazine the purports to be about high finance, business, wealth and intelligence, you’d think Forbes would be a little smart than this. For the second straight year, Forbes.com has ranked Boulder as the smartest city in the USA. How did they arrive at this conclusion, you ask? By making the fundamental mistake of equating “best educated” with smartest, that’s how. The rankings were based on the percentage of adults 25 and older with at least a bachelor's degree. In Boulder, 53 percent of adults do. Ninety-three percent graduated from high school and 4 percent have a PhD. That’s great, but they don’t make Boulder the smartest city in America, just the best educated. Intelligence has nothing to do with how much formal education you have; there’s a definite distinction to be made there. Besides, if Boulder residents were really that smart, with the education they have, they’d be living somewhere that isn’t friggin’ freezing cold much of the year and perpetually under a blanket of snow. Besides, when other Colorado cities deride your city as the place that banned couches from porches and required landowners to get a permit to kill a prairie dog, as Boulder did, that doesn’t scream country’s smartest city. “Boulder is one of the greenest cities in the United States, and the residents take advantage of the many outdoor recreational activities available to the students, professors and overwhelmingly young adult population,” the magazine raved. Yeah, except that any activities not involving snowshoes, gloves, ski masks and four layers of clothing are on hold for most of the year in Boulder. Others among the "smartest" cities include: Ames and Iowa City, Iowa; Lawrence, Kan., Corvallis, Ore.; Ithaca, N.Y.; Ann Arbor, Mich., and Cambridge, Mass. in the top 10. Personally if I’m one of those “smart” people in Boulder with a PhD, I’m moving to Phoenix, Southern California, south Florida or Hawaii....
- Who could have possibly seen this coming? When you have two stellar, blockbuster movies like Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show and Paris Hilton’s Hottie & the Nottie coming out, who could possibly foresee both of those fantastic flicks bombing out in the same weekend? Oh, other than everyone, I mean, Vaughn and the Skank-Also-Known-As Paris Hilton both scored mega-flops with their new projects this weekend. Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show doc from Picturehouse opened at 962 locations, and averaged only $150 in tickets sold per location on Friday. Based on an $8 ticket price, that’s only 19 tickets at each theatre where the movie is showing. To put that in different terms, in most theaters that means you could have not only your own row but a solid 3-row block of seats to enjoy the film in solitude. However, Vaughn’s project looks like the second coming of Casablance when held up against Hilton’s Hottie & the Nottie (Regent Releasing). Debuting on 111 screens, it could only muster $76 (yes, $76, the same amount you could find under the couch cushions of whatever couch Hilton is currently having sex on with some random dude while a video camera rolls) per location on its opening day. That means that, on average, 10 people purchased a ticket to see this abomination of a movie at each theater dumb enough to book it. Hottie will sell only an anticipated $23,000 during the 3-day weekend for a $207 per theatre average. That’s about 26 ticket buyers per location for Friday-Sunday. With a crowd that size, you’re looking at about 5-6 dudes who have had sex with Hilton at one time or another being in the crowd, so yes, it is an incredibly small audience. That the top-earning movie of the weekend, Fool’s Gold, starring the man who can’t find a shirt in any picture taken of him, Matthew McCaunaghey, isn’t that much better of a movie is irrelevant. At least it’s not as bad as these two debacles, which should be making their way to DVD by this weekend and be in the discount bin by next Monday.
- It may be early in the case, but score one for West Virginia University in its battle to collect the $4 million that its former football coach Rich Fraud-riguez owes it in buyout money under the terms of his contract. A federal judge ruled Monday that the matter belongs in Monongalia County Circuit Court. That’s the same court where WVU filed the case after Fraud-riguez resigned to take the head coaching job at Michigan. In its appeal, WVU had argued that because it's an arm of state government, it can only be sued in state court and U.S. District Court Judge John Bailey concurs. In announcing his decision, he said the university is not an independent body. Also, the ruling also says it's clear the outcome of the case will have an impact on state funds because any money paid to or held by the university is considered the state's money. In other words, Fraud-riguez isn’t just screwing the university; he’s giving the proverbial middle finger to the whole state of West Virginia, a state he lied, er, claims to love. Love, maybe. Love as much as money, power and the prestige of a better coaching job, not so much. Pay up, Fraud-riguez. You wanted to leave to be head coach at Michigan less than a year after flirting with Alabama about their coaching job and agreeing to take it before doubling back under public pressure, agreeing to stay at WVU and signing that phat new contract, fine. But honor the deal you signed and to what it says you have to do to leave - PAY THE FREAKING $4 MILLION, YOU PIECE OF CRAP.
- Attaboy, Barack Obama. I knew you had it in you and you proved me right by winning all three state presidential primaries held over the weekend. Obama won handily in Louisiana, Nebraska, Washington state and the U.S. Virgin Islands, narrowing Hank Clinton’s leading and giving his own campaign much-needed momentum. Hank chose to focus not on the losses, but rather on likely Republican nominee John McCain, calling his probable selection “more of the same” for Republicans. Not so fast, Hank. While you have to admire that dude’s focus, Hank needs to worry about the Democratic nomination, which Barack Obama is slowly ripping from Hank’s mannish hands. Now Hank still leads by a narrow 1,055-998 margin, but there’s positive news there as well. Obama is looking strong heading into this week’s so-called “Potomac Primaries” in Virginia, Maryland and Washington, D.C., meaning he could take the lead in delegates. A total of 2,055 delegates is needed to win the nomination, so we’re at about the halfway point there. I’m counting on all the voters in Virginia, Maryland and D.C. to do the right thing and get Hank Clinton out of this race ASAP, because unless that dude is gone, this race becomes a recipe for disaster as we head toward November.
- For a magazine the purports to be about high finance, business, wealth and intelligence, you’d think Forbes would be a little smart than this. For the second straight year, Forbes.com has ranked Boulder as the smartest city in the USA. How did they arrive at this conclusion, you ask? By making the fundamental mistake of equating “best educated” with smartest, that’s how. The rankings were based on the percentage of adults 25 and older with at least a bachelor's degree. In Boulder, 53 percent of adults do. Ninety-three percent graduated from high school and 4 percent have a PhD. That’s great, but they don’t make Boulder the smartest city in America, just the best educated. Intelligence has nothing to do with how much formal education you have; there’s a definite distinction to be made there. Besides, if Boulder residents were really that smart, with the education they have, they’d be living somewhere that isn’t friggin’ freezing cold much of the year and perpetually under a blanket of snow. Besides, when other Colorado cities deride your city as the place that banned couches from porches and required landowners to get a permit to kill a prairie dog, as Boulder did, that doesn’t scream country’s smartest city. “Boulder is one of the greenest cities in the United States, and the residents take advantage of the many outdoor recreational activities available to the students, professors and overwhelmingly young adult population,” the magazine raved. Yeah, except that any activities not involving snowshoes, gloves, ski masks and four layers of clothing are on hold for most of the year in Boulder. Others among the "smartest" cities include: Ames and Iowa City, Iowa; Lawrence, Kan., Corvallis, Ore.; Ithaca, N.Y.; Ann Arbor, Mich., and Cambridge, Mass. in the top 10. Personally if I’m one of those “smart” people in Boulder with a PhD, I’m moving to Phoenix, Southern California, south Florida or Hawaii....
- Who could have possibly seen this coming? When you have two stellar, blockbuster movies like Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show and Paris Hilton’s Hottie & the Nottie coming out, who could possibly foresee both of those fantastic flicks bombing out in the same weekend? Oh, other than everyone, I mean, Vaughn and the Skank-Also-Known-As Paris Hilton both scored mega-flops with their new projects this weekend. Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show doc from Picturehouse opened at 962 locations, and averaged only $150 in tickets sold per location on Friday. Based on an $8 ticket price, that’s only 19 tickets at each theatre where the movie is showing. To put that in different terms, in most theaters that means you could have not only your own row but a solid 3-row block of seats to enjoy the film in solitude. However, Vaughn’s project looks like the second coming of Casablance when held up against Hilton’s Hottie & the Nottie (Regent Releasing). Debuting on 111 screens, it could only muster $76 (yes, $76, the same amount you could find under the couch cushions of whatever couch Hilton is currently having sex on with some random dude while a video camera rolls) per location on its opening day. That means that, on average, 10 people purchased a ticket to see this abomination of a movie at each theater dumb enough to book it. Hottie will sell only an anticipated $23,000 during the 3-day weekend for a $207 per theatre average. That’s about 26 ticket buyers per location for Friday-Sunday. With a crowd that size, you’re looking at about 5-6 dudes who have had sex with Hilton at one time or another being in the crowd, so yes, it is an incredibly small audience. That the top-earning movie of the weekend, Fool’s Gold, starring the man who can’t find a shirt in any picture taken of him, Matthew McCaunaghey, isn’t that much better of a movie is irrelevant. At least it’s not as bad as these two debacles, which should be making their way to DVD by this weekend and be in the discount bin by next Monday.
- It may be early in the case, but score one for West Virginia University in its battle to collect the $4 million that its former football coach Rich Fraud-riguez owes it in buyout money under the terms of his contract. A federal judge ruled Monday that the matter belongs in Monongalia County Circuit Court. That’s the same court where WVU filed the case after Fraud-riguez resigned to take the head coaching job at Michigan. In its appeal, WVU had argued that because it's an arm of state government, it can only be sued in state court and U.S. District Court Judge John Bailey concurs. In announcing his decision, he said the university is not an independent body. Also, the ruling also says it's clear the outcome of the case will have an impact on state funds because any money paid to or held by the university is considered the state's money. In other words, Fraud-riguez isn’t just screwing the university; he’s giving the proverbial middle finger to the whole state of West Virginia, a state he lied, er, claims to love. Love, maybe. Love as much as money, power and the prestige of a better coaching job, not so much. Pay up, Fraud-riguez. You wanted to leave to be head coach at Michigan less than a year after flirting with Alabama about their coaching job and agreeing to take it before doubling back under public pressure, agreeing to stay at WVU and signing that phat new contract, fine. But honor the deal you signed and to what it says you have to do to leave - PAY THE FREAKING $4 MILLION, YOU PIECE OF CRAP.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Cher's reign of terror, an MSNBC hero and Nebraska goes modern
- Tobacco, the universe’s biggest balancer of global population. If not for the wonder that is tobacco and the addictive-but-deadly products proffered by Big Tobacco, 100 million deaths in the 20th century and an estimated 1 billion more in the 21st century would have occurred in much more natural and timely fashions, it seems. According to a new report published by the World Health Organization, that’s how many people have died due to tobacco usage in those times periods. Now it may be true that if they didn’t die via choking down stogies or cancer sticks, they would have died via other means. But I’d say it’s safe to figure that a large percentage of them would have lived much longer and died in much less painful, agonizing fashion than the cancers and various lung ailments that took them down because they were smokers. So thanks for that, Big Tobacco, if not for you, hundreds of millions of people would not have died prematurely and when they did die, it would have been a lot less painful. You suck, tobacco companies, I wish you all could experience just a fraction of the pain you’ve inflicted on the world with your deadly products…
- Welcome to the 21st century, Nebraska. The children of the corn finally made leap forward in their justice system when the Nebraska Supreme Court ruled yesterday that electrocution is cruel and unusual punishment, a big blow for what had been the only state in the union that still used the electric chair as its sole means of execution. Because of this new ruling, the Legislature must not approve a new law establishing a different method of execution, ideally one a tad less barbaric. So no, Nebraskans, guillotine and firing squad are not acceptable alternatives, nor is feeding someone so much biscuits and gravy that he or she dies from an exploding stomach. You may want to familiarize yourselves with a little something the rest of us call lethal injection, which is…never mind, I don’t have the time to explain. I’m just glad that even though the death penalty is still a bad idea, Nebraska will have to stop using one of its more rudimentary, barbaric methods as its means of killing criminals.
- College sports are notorious for inciting exuberant, over-the-top, juvenile reactions from players, fans, etc. People tear down goalposts after big wins, the loot, burn and riot when their team wins a national championship and they like to down a beer or eight and act like an idiot after winning a big game. I really don’t have a problem with any of that, because if you can’t let loose and enjoy life’s great moments, then you’re going to be miserable. Having said that, you don’t usually see teams engaging in hijinks after a win against their biggest rivals while being led by their coach. The University North Carolina women's team found itself in this unusual spot after they beat archrival Duke, 93-76. How to celebrate a big win, how to celebrate…I know! Why not hurl rolls of toilet paper out of the team bus? That’s exactly what some of the Tar Heels players did, throwing toilet paper out of the team bus and onto a tree on Chapel Hill's Franklin Street. One of the TP hurlers was head coach Sylvia Hatchell, who told the bus driver to stop at the tree so she and the Lady Heels could engage in their two-ply shenanigans. Fans spilled out of bars to watch everyone was enjoying themselves until The Man had to step in. A tool in a Chapel Hill police car pulled up and issued Coach Hatchell a verbal warning for littering and asked her to pick up the mess. After the discussion, Hatchell got back on the bus and put her hands behind her head to mock being arrested ... which was met with laughter from her players. Hatchell said in a telephone interview she was surprised to receive a warning, considering the excessive celebration that occurs after the men's team wins at Duke. Yeah, clearly this is a major misstep, the travesty of throwing rolls of toilet paper out onto a street. Something tells me that if the same police officer walked fifty feet in either direction, he could have found underage kids in those same bars drinking. But go ahead and bust the basketball coach for this small-time stunt, you ass hat. It’s too bad that the Chapel Hill police didn’t factor the cost of buying a sense of humor for their officers into the budget for this fiscal year, because clearly there’s at least one officer who needs to lighten up.
- For those of you planning a Vegas run, here’s some info you’ll want to consider. First, you may want to scrap the trip depending on how much you value not having your ears assaulted with one of the most gawd-awful voices ever. Second, if you just can’t postpone the trip and you have to go now, i.e. it’s your buddy’s bachelor party or something like that, be advised that you’re not going to want to be staying at Caesars Palace. Why, you ask? Is there some sort of structural problem at the facility? No. Is there a security problem that will compromise the safety of guests? Not exactly. Something far more sinister and terrible is in play: the music of Cher. This woman’s voice is enough to make even the most rugged terrorism suspect break and confess, but Caesars is bringing the favorite singer of drag queens everywhere in for a 3-year, 200-show run beginning May 6. “I started in Vegas at Caesars, so I’ve come full circle,” Cher said in a statement. Yes you have, C. Your music sucked then and it still sucks now, so you have indeed come full circle. On the upside, her reign of terror, er, run of shows doesn’t begin until May, so you do have three months left to cram in one last trip to Caesars before then. I’m just giving you fair warning because of all the things to ruin your Vegas trip - money lost, bad food, fight in a club - the music of Cher is possibly the most devastating and hardest to recover from. Plan accordingly…..
- MSNBC talking head David Shuster, you are my new hero. Shuster’s comments about how Sen. Hank Clinton’s campaign has “pimped out” daughter Chelsea by having her place calls on behalf of her mother to Democratic Party superdelegates have resulted in truly magical consequences for people in my little corner of the world. A livid Hank (and really, when is Hank not angry or at least looking really pissed off?) has vowed not to compete in upcoming debates on the cable network, including one in my neck of the woods, the Cleveland debate. “I, at this point, can’t envision a scenario where we would continue to engage in debates on that network,” Hank’s spokesman said. Good job, D. Shuster. You’ve kept Hank and the angry, femi-Nazi vitriol that dude spouts from coming to my area of the country. I feel safer already and I have you to thank. As for Hank’s indignation….lighten up, Hank. Pimpin’ ain’t easy, I know. But if weren’t old and really out of touch, you’d know that the word has become much more mainstream and doesn’t have nearly the tawdry, sordid connotation it had when you were younger. Chill out, relax and oh yeah, prepare for the beatdown Barack Obama is about to lay down on your candy a**……..
- Welcome to the 21st century, Nebraska. The children of the corn finally made leap forward in their justice system when the Nebraska Supreme Court ruled yesterday that electrocution is cruel and unusual punishment, a big blow for what had been the only state in the union that still used the electric chair as its sole means of execution. Because of this new ruling, the Legislature must not approve a new law establishing a different method of execution, ideally one a tad less barbaric. So no, Nebraskans, guillotine and firing squad are not acceptable alternatives, nor is feeding someone so much biscuits and gravy that he or she dies from an exploding stomach. You may want to familiarize yourselves with a little something the rest of us call lethal injection, which is…never mind, I don’t have the time to explain. I’m just glad that even though the death penalty is still a bad idea, Nebraska will have to stop using one of its more rudimentary, barbaric methods as its means of killing criminals.
- College sports are notorious for inciting exuberant, over-the-top, juvenile reactions from players, fans, etc. People tear down goalposts after big wins, the loot, burn and riot when their team wins a national championship and they like to down a beer or eight and act like an idiot after winning a big game. I really don’t have a problem with any of that, because if you can’t let loose and enjoy life’s great moments, then you’re going to be miserable. Having said that, you don’t usually see teams engaging in hijinks after a win against their biggest rivals while being led by their coach. The University North Carolina women's team found itself in this unusual spot after they beat archrival Duke, 93-76. How to celebrate a big win, how to celebrate…I know! Why not hurl rolls of toilet paper out of the team bus? That’s exactly what some of the Tar Heels players did, throwing toilet paper out of the team bus and onto a tree on Chapel Hill's Franklin Street. One of the TP hurlers was head coach Sylvia Hatchell, who told the bus driver to stop at the tree so she and the Lady Heels could engage in their two-ply shenanigans. Fans spilled out of bars to watch everyone was enjoying themselves until The Man had to step in. A tool in a Chapel Hill police car pulled up and issued Coach Hatchell a verbal warning for littering and asked her to pick up the mess. After the discussion, Hatchell got back on the bus and put her hands behind her head to mock being arrested ... which was met with laughter from her players. Hatchell said in a telephone interview she was surprised to receive a warning, considering the excessive celebration that occurs after the men's team wins at Duke. Yeah, clearly this is a major misstep, the travesty of throwing rolls of toilet paper out onto a street. Something tells me that if the same police officer walked fifty feet in either direction, he could have found underage kids in those same bars drinking. But go ahead and bust the basketball coach for this small-time stunt, you ass hat. It’s too bad that the Chapel Hill police didn’t factor the cost of buying a sense of humor for their officers into the budget for this fiscal year, because clearly there’s at least one officer who needs to lighten up.
- For those of you planning a Vegas run, here’s some info you’ll want to consider. First, you may want to scrap the trip depending on how much you value not having your ears assaulted with one of the most gawd-awful voices ever. Second, if you just can’t postpone the trip and you have to go now, i.e. it’s your buddy’s bachelor party or something like that, be advised that you’re not going to want to be staying at Caesars Palace. Why, you ask? Is there some sort of structural problem at the facility? No. Is there a security problem that will compromise the safety of guests? Not exactly. Something far more sinister and terrible is in play: the music of Cher. This woman’s voice is enough to make even the most rugged terrorism suspect break and confess, but Caesars is bringing the favorite singer of drag queens everywhere in for a 3-year, 200-show run beginning May 6. “I started in Vegas at Caesars, so I’ve come full circle,” Cher said in a statement. Yes you have, C. Your music sucked then and it still sucks now, so you have indeed come full circle. On the upside, her reign of terror, er, run of shows doesn’t begin until May, so you do have three months left to cram in one last trip to Caesars before then. I’m just giving you fair warning because of all the things to ruin your Vegas trip - money lost, bad food, fight in a club - the music of Cher is possibly the most devastating and hardest to recover from. Plan accordingly…..
- MSNBC talking head David Shuster, you are my new hero. Shuster’s comments about how Sen. Hank Clinton’s campaign has “pimped out” daughter Chelsea by having her place calls on behalf of her mother to Democratic Party superdelegates have resulted in truly magical consequences for people in my little corner of the world. A livid Hank (and really, when is Hank not angry or at least looking really pissed off?) has vowed not to compete in upcoming debates on the cable network, including one in my neck of the woods, the Cleveland debate. “I, at this point, can’t envision a scenario where we would continue to engage in debates on that network,” Hank’s spokesman said. Good job, D. Shuster. You’ve kept Hank and the angry, femi-Nazi vitriol that dude spouts from coming to my area of the country. I feel safer already and I have you to thank. As for Hank’s indignation….lighten up, Hank. Pimpin’ ain’t easy, I know. But if weren’t old and really out of touch, you’d know that the word has become much more mainstream and doesn’t have nearly the tawdry, sordid connotation it had when you were younger. Chill out, relax and oh yeah, prepare for the beatdown Barack Obama is about to lay down on your candy a**……..
Friday, February 08, 2008
PETA still sucks, college recruiting is out of hand and adios Mitt Romney
- Not even Pedro Martinez’s famed blue glove is big enough to conceal this one. Martinez, the New York Mets ace and native of the Dominican Republic, was recently seen along with Hall of Famer Juan Marichal at a cockfight in a video posted this week on YouTube. The footage showed the two laughing before releasing the roosters. They took part as honorary "soltadores," the word used to describe the person who drops the razor-blade-strapped rooster into the little rooster octagon or ring to do battle. Now before you get irate over the fact that cockfighting is illegal in 49 of the 50 states here in the U.S., know that the fight took place in their home country, the Dominican Republic, where cockfighting is legal and popular. According to Pedro, the cockfight occurred at least two years ago. Of course, leading the charge of irate and incensed animal lovers is People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which sent letters to both pitchers Thursday, calling on them to publicly apologize. You can always count on those freaks at PETA to act outraged at the slightest hint of impropriety toward animals. So while I enjoy a nice, juicy steak, wear my fur coat and sit down on my bear skin rug, I’ll allow Pedro to address PETA’s concerns. “I understand that people are upset, but this is part of our Dominican culture and is legal in the Dominican Republic,” Martinez said in a statement issued by the Mets. “I was invited by my idol, Juan Marichal, to attend the event as a spectator, not as a participant.” Let’s hope that this is Pedro’s last venture into cockfighting, because his bird didn’t do very well. In the video, which was posted Tuesday, the animal released by Martinez appears to be killed. You can’t actually see the video now because YouTube has yanked it down, citing the dreaded “due to terms of use violation.” Now I’m not a cockfighting fan, I’ve never been to a cockfight and the thought of two roosters pecking and slashing each other to death in a bloody spectacle doesn’t interest me…but I still think PETA is hilarious. No one cares what you wack-a-doos think about this, so no, they’re not going to heed your call for an apology. Like it or not, cockfighting is a recognized sport in the Dominican, so unless you think you’re going to convince a whole island of people that they need to change their way of life due to some loser animal right activists in another country, you need to let this one go. Now pass me the A-1 sauce for my Porterhouse steak, please…..
- So that race for the Republican presidential nomination….yeah, that’s over. The only candidate named after a piece of baseball equipment, Mitt Romney, has dropped out of the race and thus John McCain is the only one left standing for the Republicans. Romney bowed out yesterday, completing an unlikely run for McCain that saw him go from extreme long shot last summer to the choice to represent the Republicans this fall. As I’ve said before, right now I just don’t give a crap about the Republican side of things. The true terror of this election lies on the Democratic side with the possibility that Hank Clinton could be their candidate. So let the Republicans choose whichever rich, old white dude they think has the best chance of winning and I’ll get around to caring about them in a few months. Right now all our energy needs to be focused on doing anything and everything, legal or illegal, ethical or unethical, to prevent Hank’s nomination for the Dems. So congrats to John McCain, although he is imbecilely behind W.’s plans in Iraq, so there would be a major problem with him as president as well - just not as big a problem as all of us would have with Hank as our leader.
- I’m becoming more and more concerned about Amy Winehouse. And no, it has nothing to do with her continued drug and alcohol problems that currently have her in a British rehab center. No, I’m referring to the fact that every picture I see of her lately makes her look more and more like a transvestite drag queen who did her makeup in the back of a dark box truck driving down a bumpy country road. She may have looked that way all along as part of her image, but it’s getting worse lately - a lot worse. It’s one thing to cultivate a bizarre, oddball image to create a niche for yourself in the music world, but this is beyond that. Winehouse is so wretched to look at right now that even if she were the world’s greatest singer and guitar player all rolled into one, you couldn’t bear to watch her perform. Thus, I’d have to imagine that all of the arrogant, self-important, self-congratulating mainstream musicians set to attend and receive awards at their run-of-the-mill, don’t-dare-recognize-anyone-we-don’t-already-know ceremony are happy that Winehouse is not going to be in attendance at the Grammys. She’s being detained back in Britain, unable to get a visa to travel to the U.S. for the awards show. She may still appear via satellite, but at least that wouldn’t be quite as scary as seeing her in person. She was also scheduled to get up on stage and mumble indecipherably - what she calls performing - but that isn’t going to happen. Stay down, get sober and do us all a favor by ceasing your singing for a while, Amy…..
- College football recruiting is already way out of hand. Hours and hours of programming, crap loads of pages on websites and message boards are devoted to the physical, mental and performance attributes of guys who aren’t even old enough to vote and even when they arrive on a college campus will likely take 2-3 years to make a real impact. When you have that kind of unjustifiably frenzied culture, you end up with stories like that of Kevin Hart, a player from Fernley High School in Reno, Nev. who had claimed he'd been duped into believing he had been recruited to play at a Pac-10 school admitted Wednesday before admitting that he made up the whole story. Hart, a 6-foot-5-inch, 290-pound offensive lineman, offered an apology in a statement he issued through the Lyon County School District. He said he had wanted to play football at a Division I school “more than anything. When I realized that wasn't going to happen, I made up what I wanted to be reality. I am sorry for disappointing and embarrassing my family, coaches, Fernley High School, the involved universities and reporters covering the story,” Hart said. At first, Hart claimed that he had been duped by a man he had paid to help promote him in his bid to play college football. He spoke with deputies Saturday, a day after he had announced at a school assembly in front of a packed gym and also at news conference that he would sign with the University of California. At the announcement ceremony Friday, Hart, with Fernley coach Mark Hodges at his side, said he had talked with Cal coach Jeff Tedford many times and that "personal experience" led to his decision to choose the Golden Bears over Oregon. But the announcement was questioned almost immediately, and officials with California and Oregon said Monday that Hart had never been recruited by their programs. Lyon County sheriff's Lt. Rob Hall said Hart had claimed the alleged recruiter was named Kevin Riley and that he believed he was from Las Vegas. Hart, however, was "unable to provide any phone numbers, addresses," or other contact information for the purported recruiter, Hall said. Hart went so far as to sit hats from both schools on the table in front of him and make a fake dramatic announcement as to his choice by putting on the Cal baseball cap. Shortly thereafter, his story unraveled and he is left looking like a kid with highly questionable character. To be sure, the system is a crappy one and the pressure on these kids is immense to land a scholarship with the right school. Still, you can’t totally absolve Hart of blame because no one made him do what he did and clearly this was a reasoned, thought-out plan. He knew what he was doing and he knew it was wrong. This kid needs to get someone who can help him get a grip on reality and get some perspective on life, because clearly up to this point he hasn’t been getting good advice or support from those around him.
- Now this is really getting absurd. The whole battle of words between Roid-ger Clemens, one of baseball’s all-time greatest pitchers and one of its biggest asses at the same time, and his former trainer Brian McNamee was bad enough when these two were arguing and accusing like two third graders on the playground. They’re traipsing around Capitol Hill trying to curry favor with congressmen and committees and to make one another look bad as they proffer conflicting stories about whether or not Clemens really did use steroids. However, the absurdity has gone to a whole ‘nother level with the news that McNamee told congressional investigators he injected Roger Clemens' wife with human growth hormone as she prepared for a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition photo session five years ago. The testimony came during McNamee’s Capitol Hill deposition on Thursday, wherein he injected Debbie Clemens at her husband's direction. Even if this is true, who gives a crap? Artificially enhanced women in Sports Illustrated wearing swimsuits? No way. Something tells me that more than a few of the bimbos who appear in the mag’s annual swimsuit issue have also been enhanced, albeit by surgical means and not by HGH. But even Debbie Clemens was HGH-ed up, who cares? As far as I know, there’s no law against women HGH-ing up to look better for a magazine photo shoot. Can we keep this to you two accusing one another of crap, little Roger and little Brian? You two immature, finger-pointing pieces of crap can embarrass yourselves quite nicely without dragging anyone else into this mess.
- So that race for the Republican presidential nomination….yeah, that’s over. The only candidate named after a piece of baseball equipment, Mitt Romney, has dropped out of the race and thus John McCain is the only one left standing for the Republicans. Romney bowed out yesterday, completing an unlikely run for McCain that saw him go from extreme long shot last summer to the choice to represent the Republicans this fall. As I’ve said before, right now I just don’t give a crap about the Republican side of things. The true terror of this election lies on the Democratic side with the possibility that Hank Clinton could be their candidate. So let the Republicans choose whichever rich, old white dude they think has the best chance of winning and I’ll get around to caring about them in a few months. Right now all our energy needs to be focused on doing anything and everything, legal or illegal, ethical or unethical, to prevent Hank’s nomination for the Dems. So congrats to John McCain, although he is imbecilely behind W.’s plans in Iraq, so there would be a major problem with him as president as well - just not as big a problem as all of us would have with Hank as our leader.
- I’m becoming more and more concerned about Amy Winehouse. And no, it has nothing to do with her continued drug and alcohol problems that currently have her in a British rehab center. No, I’m referring to the fact that every picture I see of her lately makes her look more and more like a transvestite drag queen who did her makeup in the back of a dark box truck driving down a bumpy country road. She may have looked that way all along as part of her image, but it’s getting worse lately - a lot worse. It’s one thing to cultivate a bizarre, oddball image to create a niche for yourself in the music world, but this is beyond that. Winehouse is so wretched to look at right now that even if she were the world’s greatest singer and guitar player all rolled into one, you couldn’t bear to watch her perform. Thus, I’d have to imagine that all of the arrogant, self-important, self-congratulating mainstream musicians set to attend and receive awards at their run-of-the-mill, don’t-dare-recognize-anyone-we-don’t-already-know ceremony are happy that Winehouse is not going to be in attendance at the Grammys. She’s being detained back in Britain, unable to get a visa to travel to the U.S. for the awards show. She may still appear via satellite, but at least that wouldn’t be quite as scary as seeing her in person. She was also scheduled to get up on stage and mumble indecipherably - what she calls performing - but that isn’t going to happen. Stay down, get sober and do us all a favor by ceasing your singing for a while, Amy…..
- College football recruiting is already way out of hand. Hours and hours of programming, crap loads of pages on websites and message boards are devoted to the physical, mental and performance attributes of guys who aren’t even old enough to vote and even when they arrive on a college campus will likely take 2-3 years to make a real impact. When you have that kind of unjustifiably frenzied culture, you end up with stories like that of Kevin Hart, a player from Fernley High School in Reno, Nev. who had claimed he'd been duped into believing he had been recruited to play at a Pac-10 school admitted Wednesday before admitting that he made up the whole story. Hart, a 6-foot-5-inch, 290-pound offensive lineman, offered an apology in a statement he issued through the Lyon County School District. He said he had wanted to play football at a Division I school “more than anything. When I realized that wasn't going to happen, I made up what I wanted to be reality. I am sorry for disappointing and embarrassing my family, coaches, Fernley High School, the involved universities and reporters covering the story,” Hart said. At first, Hart claimed that he had been duped by a man he had paid to help promote him in his bid to play college football. He spoke with deputies Saturday, a day after he had announced at a school assembly in front of a packed gym and also at news conference that he would sign with the University of California. At the announcement ceremony Friday, Hart, with Fernley coach Mark Hodges at his side, said he had talked with Cal coach Jeff Tedford many times and that "personal experience" led to his decision to choose the Golden Bears over Oregon. But the announcement was questioned almost immediately, and officials with California and Oregon said Monday that Hart had never been recruited by their programs. Lyon County sheriff's Lt. Rob Hall said Hart had claimed the alleged recruiter was named Kevin Riley and that he believed he was from Las Vegas. Hart, however, was "unable to provide any phone numbers, addresses," or other contact information for the purported recruiter, Hall said. Hart went so far as to sit hats from both schools on the table in front of him and make a fake dramatic announcement as to his choice by putting on the Cal baseball cap. Shortly thereafter, his story unraveled and he is left looking like a kid with highly questionable character. To be sure, the system is a crappy one and the pressure on these kids is immense to land a scholarship with the right school. Still, you can’t totally absolve Hart of blame because no one made him do what he did and clearly this was a reasoned, thought-out plan. He knew what he was doing and he knew it was wrong. This kid needs to get someone who can help him get a grip on reality and get some perspective on life, because clearly up to this point he hasn’t been getting good advice or support from those around him.
- Now this is really getting absurd. The whole battle of words between Roid-ger Clemens, one of baseball’s all-time greatest pitchers and one of its biggest asses at the same time, and his former trainer Brian McNamee was bad enough when these two were arguing and accusing like two third graders on the playground. They’re traipsing around Capitol Hill trying to curry favor with congressmen and committees and to make one another look bad as they proffer conflicting stories about whether or not Clemens really did use steroids. However, the absurdity has gone to a whole ‘nother level with the news that McNamee told congressional investigators he injected Roger Clemens' wife with human growth hormone as she prepared for a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition photo session five years ago. The testimony came during McNamee’s Capitol Hill deposition on Thursday, wherein he injected Debbie Clemens at her husband's direction. Even if this is true, who gives a crap? Artificially enhanced women in Sports Illustrated wearing swimsuits? No way. Something tells me that more than a few of the bimbos who appear in the mag’s annual swimsuit issue have also been enhanced, albeit by surgical means and not by HGH. But even Debbie Clemens was HGH-ed up, who cares? As far as I know, there’s no law against women HGH-ing up to look better for a magazine photo shoot. Can we keep this to you two accusing one another of crap, little Roger and little Brian? You two immature, finger-pointing pieces of crap can embarrass yourselves quite nicely without dragging anyone else into this mess.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
I name a professional musician's album, a cut-rate airline make a smart move and Smallville and Lost reviews
- The Green Arrow returns. On this week’s episode of Smallville, Justin Hartley is back as the green-clad archer of the night and his presence brings plenty of danger into the lives of several characters. First, his involvement with Chloe on a project to nab files from Lex Luthor’s newest project lands both Oliver Queen/Green Arrow and Chloe in trouble with a leather-clad, dressed-in-black vigilante attacks Chloe and steals the disc containing the files. When Green Arrow tries to use his archery skills to take down the mystery woman, she uses some sort of sonic force field emitted from her mouth to disintegrate the arrows. She makes off with the disc and leaves Chloe with a nasty gash on her face. Clark is alarmed at the sight of the gash the next day and when he learns about Chloe’s involvement with Oliver’s work, he steps in to demand that it end. He also dubs the new vigilante the Black Canary, but she’s actually a local radio personality with a reputation for being tough on crime. Of course, that doesn’t stop her from taking money from Lex Luthor in exchange for handing over the files she retrieved and accepting his offer for an even bigger payout if she delivers the Green Arrow to Lex. Clark has his own worries, namely his rocky relationship with Lana. He goes to her for help identifying the Black Canary but she can’t help. Nor does she want to help Lionel Luthor in his quest to prove that Lex was behind the killing of Grant Gabriel/Julian Luthor, the editor of the Daily Planet who was really a clone of Lex’s brother who died as an infant. Lana declines, saying she’s tired of living the obsessed, out-for-payback life and that she wants to turn over a new leaf, get back to the old Lana and become someone Clark can trust again. Of course, to do that she needs to mend fences with Clark, who’s still miffed that she felt so close to and comfortable with the Bizarro Clark who took his place while he was held captive at the Fortress of Solitude. They work on their relationship and as Lana is about to leave the farm to spend a few days with Chloe to alleviate some of the tension, Clark’s emotional speech about reconciling causes her to reconsider. Also making an emotional speech was Lois Lane, who decided that she could no longer be in a relationship with Oliver Queen once she knew he was also Green Arrow. Lois breaks things off, digs into a pint of Rocky Road ice cream and surprisingly pours out her heart in a weepy monologue to Clark. He then passes along his support to Oliver when the two of them are summoned to a rooftop meeting with the Black Canary. She’s since come over to their side in the dispute with Lex after Clark intercepted her on her way to a meeting with Lex and encouraged her to research why Oliver and the Justice League have really been setting off bombs at Lex’s plants around the world. Black Canary agrees to join Green Arrow, Aquaman, the Flash and Cyborg in the League, but not before a showdown with Lex in which he tries to shoot her but is attacked at the Luthor mansion by Green Arrow. A fight breaks out and at the last second, who shows up but Clark Kent. The Man of Steel uses his super speed to knock arrows, Chinese stars and bullets out of the air, but is left with a predicament when a bullet is about to hit Black Canary at the same time a knife thrown by the Canary is about to hit Lex. Knowing he can’t stop both, Clark opts for stopping the bullet and allowing Lex to take a hit. Lex survives but is left to look at an empty room and wonder what just happened. All told, it was good to have Green Arrow back, as Justin Hartley has been a great add to the cast this season. A great episode as well, but BRAINIAC was AWOL this week, mentioned only in name. So until next week, as the new episodes of Smallville wind down and the writers’ strike rages on…..
- Danger has come to the island on Lost - well, there’s always been danger for the survivors of Oceanic flight 815, but last week a new layer of danger came with the arrival of the rescue team/alleged rescue team that arrived via helicopter after taking off from a freighter near the island. When last week’s show ended, one of the rescue team members had parachuted into the jungle and was met by Kate and Jack. This week, we learned back stories for all four of the rescue team members and also of Naomi, who John Locke killed by planting a knife in her back. Aside from being disorienting and breaking up the flow of the show, these flashbacks told us that one of the four team members, Daniel Fairaday, was a scientist of some sort who became an emotional basket case when he learned about the discovery of the wreckage from Flight 815 on the ocean floor, a discovery that makes no sense since the plane as we know it crashed on the island. But joining him on the team is Miles, a psychic/medium/ghost whisperer of some sort with a snarky attitude and very few scruples. The pilot for the team, Frank, was supposed to be the pilot on Flight 815 but fatefully ended up not flying that day. Rounding out the team, the living members anyhow, is Charlotte, an archeologist from England who once discovered a Dharma Initiative-tagged polar bear in a Tunisian desert. Together they were chosen for a mission, to be headed up by Naomi, to come to the island and find Benjamin Linus, the leader of the Others. The same creepy bald black dude who visited Hurley at the mental hospital in last week’s flash forward spelled out the mission to Naomi in one of this week’s other flashbacks. He said each person on the team had been chosen for a reason but didn’t elaborate. Throughout the episode, members of the team are found by the crash survivors. Daniel is first, followed by Miles, who pulls a gun on Jack and demands to see Naomi’s body. When he gets to it, he uses his mystic powers to determine how she died and when satisfied that Jack and Kate didn’t kill her, he uses his satellite phone to locate Charlotte, who has crashed elsewhere on the island after ejecting from the helicopter. Charlotte is hanging upside down off the edge of a cliff, but manages to break free from her parachute harness and drop into a lake below. There, she’s located, but not by members of her team or by Jack and Kate. The group led by John Locke finds her first and gives her anything but a warm reception, especially when she starts asking questions about them and their life on the island. Locke is hardest on her - well, until Ben, still a prisoner and being led around with his hands bound, manages to steal Charlotte’s gun and shoot her in the chest. She’s fortunate to be wearing a bullet-proof vest and that saves her life, but Sawyer uses the occasion to continue an earlier beatdown he gave to Ben and is prepared to kill him when Locke volunteers to do the deed instead. Just as Locke orders Ben’s daughter Alex and anyone else not wanting to witness the execution to leave the area, Ben does what he always does; begins spouting off uncannily accurate, secretive information designed to rattle those opposing him and play mind games with them. He reveals that he knows almost every detail of the lives of Charlotte and her team and that the reason he has the information is because he has a man on their boat as a plant. The motives and objectives of the rescue team are further called into question when Miles is consistently hostile to Jack and Kate. Fortunately for Jack and Kate, Sayid and Juliette take some of the guns left at camp, go out into the woods and track Jack, Kate, Daniel and Miles and use their weapons to seize back control. The six-person entourage then sees a flare fired off by Frank, the fourth member of the rescue team and their helicopter pilot. Frank scales a cliff from where he landed and in the best comedic moment so far this season, is greeted by a cow, one of the cows from Mikhail’s (Russian-born villain from last season, wore an eye patch….) house and farm on the island. The cow is indifferent, giving a “moo” and wandering off. The group comes upon Frank shortly thereafter and he shows them to spot where he landed the helicopter. Sayid checks it to make sure it’s in good enough condition to fly, after which the group makes plans for flying back to the freighter. So what’s on tap for next week? Among other things, a new flash-forward will reveal another member of the “Oceanic Six,” a group that may actually include seven members if you believe a teaser hint dropped in a tvguide.com interview by Sayid (actor Naveen Andrews). I’m also hoping we’re going to find out soon where the Others went to after disappearing and having many of their men killed at the end of last season. So far, that topic hasn’t been touched this season. But this week was an awesome episode, I thought, mixing four more new characters into the mix and further thickening the plot. ‘Til next time……..
- Here’s a problem I’d like to have, a quirky story I’d love to be able to tell as my own - well, assuming this guy comes through alive. Japanese adventurer Michio Kanda, 58. vanished over the North Pacific Ocean late last week in the midst of a hot air balloon trip from his country to Oregon (presumably to smoke some weed with the hippies in Oregon ----- just kidding, Oregonians, I know you’re not all pot heads). A Coast Guard search has been launched to locate Kanda, but don’t feel too bad for him just yet. Dude travels well-equipped, because with him he has/had a podlike life raft and enough food to keep him alive for at least three weeks. So far, searchers have seen no sign of him, but hopefully they’ll find him, because this will be one heck of a story to tell for the rest of his life. Rich, thrill-seeking adventurer is definitely not a bad way to go through life. These people try insane stunts and can do things like raft, boat or fly a hot air balloon halfway around the world and actually have the finances to make it a reality. Here’s hoping you come out of this alive, Michio…..
- I think Irish low-cost airline Ryanair got its money worth. The company was sued by French President Nikolas Sarkozy and ultimately lost the suit to the tune of $89,000 after Ryanair ran an advertisement containing a photograph of Sarkozy and his new bride, former supermodel Carla Bruni. The airline apparently used the photo without permission and for that, they must pay up. However, I think the airline got exactly what they were looking for and that this will be worth every penny for them and then some. The attention and publicity they’ll get from this stunt will be worth a lot more than $89,000. Their name will be out there now in ways no ad could ever accomplish and it’s not like they did anything totally reprehensible, so there’s not going to be that much backlash. Smart business by Ryanair if you ask me, and does the president of a major world power really need an extra $89,000? You got taken to the cleaners on this one, Sarkozy, but of course a Frenchman won in something where not actual physical toughness or danger was involved. Heck, if Ryanair simply challenges Sarkozy to a fistfight, I’m sure he’ll follow his country’s M.O. and surrender the cash immediately….
- Oh man, this is an opportunity I’ve been waiting a long time for. There are a lot of crappy musical artists whose work I despise, including but not limited to: Britney Spears, Fergie, the Black Eyed Peas, Mary J. Blige, any current or former American Karaoke contestant, any country music artist, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna and Justin Timberlake. However, in a twist of fate, one such artist, cherubic rapper Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliot, is giving the public a chance to name her next album. Yes fans, you can decide the moniker for Elliot’s next crap-tacular, bubble-gum, mainstream rap album. Go to www.missy-elliotsucks.com…ok, technically it’s www.missy-elliot.com, but the sucks part should be in there….and you can suggest a name. Any mixture of the words garbage, trash, crap, sucks, blows, horrible, terrible, wretched, mind-numbingly bad and un-listenable would work, or break out your thesaurus and find creative synonyms for those words and you’ll be just fine. The winner gets credit on the album for the name and a $500 adidas gift card. Personally I’d be asking for an extra $500 on the gift card and no mention of me on the album or with anything else remotely associated with Elliot’s train wreck of a career, but that’s up to you if you enter. Ok, I will give you one suggestion for name, but only one…..Do yourself a favor and don’t buy this album…..
- Danger has come to the island on Lost - well, there’s always been danger for the survivors of Oceanic flight 815, but last week a new layer of danger came with the arrival of the rescue team/alleged rescue team that arrived via helicopter after taking off from a freighter near the island. When last week’s show ended, one of the rescue team members had parachuted into the jungle and was met by Kate and Jack. This week, we learned back stories for all four of the rescue team members and also of Naomi, who John Locke killed by planting a knife in her back. Aside from being disorienting and breaking up the flow of the show, these flashbacks told us that one of the four team members, Daniel Fairaday, was a scientist of some sort who became an emotional basket case when he learned about the discovery of the wreckage from Flight 815 on the ocean floor, a discovery that makes no sense since the plane as we know it crashed on the island. But joining him on the team is Miles, a psychic/medium/ghost whisperer of some sort with a snarky attitude and very few scruples. The pilot for the team, Frank, was supposed to be the pilot on Flight 815 but fatefully ended up not flying that day. Rounding out the team, the living members anyhow, is Charlotte, an archeologist from England who once discovered a Dharma Initiative-tagged polar bear in a Tunisian desert. Together they were chosen for a mission, to be headed up by Naomi, to come to the island and find Benjamin Linus, the leader of the Others. The same creepy bald black dude who visited Hurley at the mental hospital in last week’s flash forward spelled out the mission to Naomi in one of this week’s other flashbacks. He said each person on the team had been chosen for a reason but didn’t elaborate. Throughout the episode, members of the team are found by the crash survivors. Daniel is first, followed by Miles, who pulls a gun on Jack and demands to see Naomi’s body. When he gets to it, he uses his mystic powers to determine how she died and when satisfied that Jack and Kate didn’t kill her, he uses his satellite phone to locate Charlotte, who has crashed elsewhere on the island after ejecting from the helicopter. Charlotte is hanging upside down off the edge of a cliff, but manages to break free from her parachute harness and drop into a lake below. There, she’s located, but not by members of her team or by Jack and Kate. The group led by John Locke finds her first and gives her anything but a warm reception, especially when she starts asking questions about them and their life on the island. Locke is hardest on her - well, until Ben, still a prisoner and being led around with his hands bound, manages to steal Charlotte’s gun and shoot her in the chest. She’s fortunate to be wearing a bullet-proof vest and that saves her life, but Sawyer uses the occasion to continue an earlier beatdown he gave to Ben and is prepared to kill him when Locke volunteers to do the deed instead. Just as Locke orders Ben’s daughter Alex and anyone else not wanting to witness the execution to leave the area, Ben does what he always does; begins spouting off uncannily accurate, secretive information designed to rattle those opposing him and play mind games with them. He reveals that he knows almost every detail of the lives of Charlotte and her team and that the reason he has the information is because he has a man on their boat as a plant. The motives and objectives of the rescue team are further called into question when Miles is consistently hostile to Jack and Kate. Fortunately for Jack and Kate, Sayid and Juliette take some of the guns left at camp, go out into the woods and track Jack, Kate, Daniel and Miles and use their weapons to seize back control. The six-person entourage then sees a flare fired off by Frank, the fourth member of the rescue team and their helicopter pilot. Frank scales a cliff from where he landed and in the best comedic moment so far this season, is greeted by a cow, one of the cows from Mikhail’s (Russian-born villain from last season, wore an eye patch….) house and farm on the island. The cow is indifferent, giving a “moo” and wandering off. The group comes upon Frank shortly thereafter and he shows them to spot where he landed the helicopter. Sayid checks it to make sure it’s in good enough condition to fly, after which the group makes plans for flying back to the freighter. So what’s on tap for next week? Among other things, a new flash-forward will reveal another member of the “Oceanic Six,” a group that may actually include seven members if you believe a teaser hint dropped in a tvguide.com interview by Sayid (actor Naveen Andrews). I’m also hoping we’re going to find out soon where the Others went to after disappearing and having many of their men killed at the end of last season. So far, that topic hasn’t been touched this season. But this week was an awesome episode, I thought, mixing four more new characters into the mix and further thickening the plot. ‘Til next time……..
- Here’s a problem I’d like to have, a quirky story I’d love to be able to tell as my own - well, assuming this guy comes through alive. Japanese adventurer Michio Kanda, 58. vanished over the North Pacific Ocean late last week in the midst of a hot air balloon trip from his country to Oregon (presumably to smoke some weed with the hippies in Oregon ----- just kidding, Oregonians, I know you’re not all pot heads). A Coast Guard search has been launched to locate Kanda, but don’t feel too bad for him just yet. Dude travels well-equipped, because with him he has/had a podlike life raft and enough food to keep him alive for at least three weeks. So far, searchers have seen no sign of him, but hopefully they’ll find him, because this will be one heck of a story to tell for the rest of his life. Rich, thrill-seeking adventurer is definitely not a bad way to go through life. These people try insane stunts and can do things like raft, boat or fly a hot air balloon halfway around the world and actually have the finances to make it a reality. Here’s hoping you come out of this alive, Michio…..
- I think Irish low-cost airline Ryanair got its money worth. The company was sued by French President Nikolas Sarkozy and ultimately lost the suit to the tune of $89,000 after Ryanair ran an advertisement containing a photograph of Sarkozy and his new bride, former supermodel Carla Bruni. The airline apparently used the photo without permission and for that, they must pay up. However, I think the airline got exactly what they were looking for and that this will be worth every penny for them and then some. The attention and publicity they’ll get from this stunt will be worth a lot more than $89,000. Their name will be out there now in ways no ad could ever accomplish and it’s not like they did anything totally reprehensible, so there’s not going to be that much backlash. Smart business by Ryanair if you ask me, and does the president of a major world power really need an extra $89,000? You got taken to the cleaners on this one, Sarkozy, but of course a Frenchman won in something where not actual physical toughness or danger was involved. Heck, if Ryanair simply challenges Sarkozy to a fistfight, I’m sure he’ll follow his country’s M.O. and surrender the cash immediately….
- Oh man, this is an opportunity I’ve been waiting a long time for. There are a lot of crappy musical artists whose work I despise, including but not limited to: Britney Spears, Fergie, the Black Eyed Peas, Mary J. Blige, any current or former American Karaoke contestant, any country music artist, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna and Justin Timberlake. However, in a twist of fate, one such artist, cherubic rapper Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliot, is giving the public a chance to name her next album. Yes fans, you can decide the moniker for Elliot’s next crap-tacular, bubble-gum, mainstream rap album. Go to www.missy-elliotsucks.com…ok, technically it’s www.missy-elliot.com, but the sucks part should be in there….and you can suggest a name. Any mixture of the words garbage, trash, crap, sucks, blows, horrible, terrible, wretched, mind-numbingly bad and un-listenable would work, or break out your thesaurus and find creative synonyms for those words and you’ll be just fine. The winner gets credit on the album for the name and a $500 adidas gift card. Personally I’d be asking for an extra $500 on the gift card and no mention of me on the album or with anything else remotely associated with Elliot’s train wreck of a career, but that’s up to you if you enter. Ok, I will give you one suggestion for name, but only one…..Do yourself a favor and don’t buy this album…..
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
One Tree Hill, time to rip W. and a dog napping downs a mayor
- A little better, One Tree Hill. After a lackluster start to the show’s fifth season when it returned to the air last month, last night’s episode was at least a slight improvement over the preceding one. Although the fact that every single character in the show was miraculously experiencing the same two moments as everyone else (a terrible nightmare of their worst fear come true and a moment when they were treated horribly and ended up calling someone a bitch), the episode wasn’t all bad. The central theme for the episode being bitchiness, the queen bitch, of course, was Brooke’s mom Victoria (Daphne Zuniga), who first ripped the first and only artist for Peyton Sawyer’s record company, Mia, before she heard more than five seconds of one of Mia’s songs. That caused Mia to run scared and left a befuddled Hayley and Lindsey in Victoria’s wake. Peyton was livid when she heard the news, but not just livid at Victoria. She also went off about Lindsey being around and sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, only the mic in the studio was on during her tirade and Lindsey heard the whole thing, thus convincing her that Peyton was a bitch as well. Elsewhere on the witch with a “b” front, Carrie, the über-hot nanny hired by Nathan and Hayley to help out around the house and with son Jamie was having her own bitchy run. When confronted by Hayley about not wearing a bikini in the pool because it wasn’t appropriate, Carrie took to openly flirting with Nathan when they were alone and going skinny-dipping late at night when she knew only Nathan would see her. Fighting back against the queen bitch was Brooke, who stood up to her mom, ordered her to stop interfering with the record label and tried to smooth things over only to be met with indifference by Victoria. Peyton also spread her bitchiness to Lucas, with everything boiling over when he visited her office late at night to ask that she apologize to Lindsey. That suggestion was shot down and it led to a doozy of a fight covering the entire blowup from Lucas’ failed marriage proposal three years ago in L.A. Lucas accuses Peyton of giving up on him and not believing he could achieve his dreams; in turn, she accuses him of giving up on their relationship by not waiting for her to be ready to marry him and throws copies of his novel at him. Even the littlest member of the show isn’t immune from the nightmare theme, with little Jamie being haunted by nightmares of his grandfather, Dan. On a lighter note, Mouth McFadden continues his cougar hunting, sleeping with his hot boss Alice even as tension between her and the TV station’s crew heightens and he’s caught in the middle. That Alice threatens to take him out of the running for an on-air reporter position if he cuts her off makes matters tougher for Mouth. All in all, a decent episode if not a great one. But when you’re one of the only shows running new episodes right now, it’s hard to look bad….so until next time….
- Never have six simple words more encapsulated the moronic thought process of the most inept president in U.S. history. W. is predictably reneging on a previous commitment to pulling American military personnel out of his own personal Vietnam, with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi nicely summing up the move by saying it shows the president’s “insistence on a war without end.” That just about sums it up. If W. could find a way to ensure that this war dragged on into infinity, even after his death, you know he’d take it. W.’s contention is that pulling out troops when he promised to and actually making good on his word might jeopardize security gains in Iraq. Why security gains in Iraq were ever our concern I still don’t know. It wasn’t a direct threat to us, that’s for sure. But the U.S. troop commitment is expected to remain around 130,000 for the time being, about the same number of troops that were there before the idiotic troop surge of last year and approximately 130,000 more than should be there. Clearly W. is intent on pushing his status as the worst president ever so far out of reach that no one who comes after him will have a chance to eclipse his ineptitude. The great thing now is that there is a ticking clock behind W. and come year’s end, his a** is out on the street and we can get a new leader in office with the intelligence, competence and testicular fortitude to end this debacle. Bring the troops home now, W., and you might have a chance of the country not hating your guts every day for the rest of your life….nah, I take that back, most of us will still hate you anyhow…..
- Of all the scandals to do a politician in, a dog-napping caper seems like one of the least likely. After all, what kind of mayor, president, governor or senator kidnaps someone else’s dog, gives it a different name and keeps it for more half a year? Oh, that’s right, Alice, Texas Mayor Grace Saenz-Lopez does. Now-former Mayor Saenz-Lopez nabbed Puddles, she Shih Tzu her neighbors had, last summer, kept the dog and renamed it Panchito. Better yet, she told the neighbors the dog had died and now claims that her actions were in the dog’s best interests. To top it off, the dog-napping scandal forced her to resign as mayor. A judge will now decide the fate of Puddles/Panchito, but this is hilarious. I mean yeah, a lot of us know someone who doesn’t treat their pets very well, but I don’t think too many among us kidnap that pet, tell our neighbors their animal is dead and then try to rename the animal and keep it as our own. What, you think the neighbors aren’t going to notice that a dog strikingly similar to the one they used to have is now living with you? Wouldn’t they see you hauling Kibble in the front door sometime or taking the dog outside to do its business? Besides, as an elected official, shouldn’t you know that your town or county has an animal protective services department you can call in case of an abused pet? Good thought process on this one, Ms. Mayor, I’m sure your town was very fortunate to have a capable, upright leader like you in power…..
- Super Tuesday could end up being Black Tuesday when all is said and done. The terrible news began rolling in during the election specials on various cable networks; Hank Clinton was having a good night and building up a slight advantage over Barack Obama in the race for the Democratic presidential nomination. Hank won in Arizona, Arkansas, Massachusetts, New York and several other states to earn a slight advantage in the race to earn enough of the party’s 2,025 delegates to secure the nomination. I’m bitterly disappointed in you, America, because you’re either not very smart or you just aren’t listening to those of us warning you what a tyrannical reign by Hank Clinton would do to this country. Having that dude as our commander in chief would be a nightmare, with her angry-lesbian haircut, femi-Nazi ways and generally frightening persona. There’s still hope for Barack Obama, at least until March 4, when voters in Ohio, Texas, Rhode Island and Vermont go to the polls in the most important day of primaries left on the election calendar. I urge my fellow Ohioans and anyone residing in a state yet to hold its primary, vote and vote for anyone but Hank Clinton. If you’re not registered to vote, register because only with your help can we kill the potentially devastating threat that Hank Clinton in the Oval Office would be.
- All right, Colombians! I love that you all showed up for massive protests early this week, even if these protests weren’t aimed at the most deserving target in your fine country. Colombians could protest twice daily from now to eternity against their despotic, dictatorial, oppressive leader Hugo Chavez and it wouldn’t be enough. However, this week’s mass protests were directed at the R evolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, the nation’s largest rebel group. Literally hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets in cities around Colombia and because the event was publicized on Facebook, many more people around the world took a stand, urging the RAFC to stop kidnapping people and to release those it has already kidnapped. I join in that plea and urge all Colombians to set aside these smaller issues to focus on what really matters - getting rid of that a-hole you have leading your country. Let’s stop kidnapping one another and start thinking of ways to evict ol’ Hugo from office…..
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Paparazzi laws, I rip Bill Beli-cheat and Mardi Gras jumps the shark
- Only in L.A. Nowhere else in the world would anyone consider enacting a special law just to make life better for celebrities. Councilman Dennis Zine is now ordinary city council member though, and so he has come up with the revolutionary concept of enacting a city ordinance requiring several feet of space between celebrities and crazed paparazzi looking to snap pictures of them eating lunch, crossing the street, picking their nose, etc. The so-called “personal safety zone” would mandate that photogs be far enough away from their prey to allow cars and pedestrians to pass safely. “This is about common decency,” Zine declared. “If we don’t do something, someone is going to get injured or killed. Hopefully the paparazzi….but I digress. Pretty sad that these losers are so belligerent, desperate and pathetic that they need an actual law to tell them not to get a foot from someone’s grill in an attempt to get a picture they can then hock for a few bucks. How do you even get to that place in life? Did you go to school for photography in the hopes of scraping the bottom of the barrel in your profession as quickly as possible? Hopefully this law gets passed, it just sucks that it’s even necessary to begin with….
- Nice try, Bill Beli-cheat. The crabby, thorny, classless coach of the New England Patriots did his best spin attempt today in trying to defend his actions at the end of Sunday’s Super Bowl, when a clock problem resulted in one second being left on the clock after the Pats turned the ball over on downs, meaning the Giants officially needed to run one play before the game could end. However, when everyone initially thought the game was over after the Patriots’ last offensive play, players, photographers and even a few fans surged out onto the field, with the postgame festivities and pleasantries underway. The officials eventually restored order and the Giants ran that final play, but Beli-cheat was already gone to the locker room. He shook hands with New York coach Tom Coughlin in the nitial field rush and apparently felt like actually staying to the end of the game and having the class to do what all other losing coaches do - congratulate a few of the players and team leaders from the opposing team - was too much to ask. When called out on his boorish behavior, Beli-cheat stated that at the time, no one knew how much tiem was really left on the clock and that since he had already shaken Coughlin’s hand, there was nothing else for him to do. Umm, other than stay to make srue the game was really over and having the dignity to shake the hand of Eli Manning, Michael Strahan or Plaxico Burress, you mean? Other than doing what a coach is supposed to do, namely remain on the field until the game is officially over and the clock hits 0:00? You can try to defend your actions, Hoodie, but just know that we’ve seen your act for far too long and seen you act like a classless piece of crap too many time to buy what you’re selling. Every time I think or talk about this thing, I become even happier that the Patriots lost, because clearly they deserved to.
- Know how certain events or places are cool for a while, “the” destination to go to and eventually they fall out of favor and become passé? Mardi Gras has gone that route, because clearly it’s an event that has jumped the shark in the most definitive way possible. I can say this with certainty because of the collection of luminaries that have been on hand for 2008’s rendition of the French Quarter’s most famous party. When attention-starved reality TV losers like Hulk Hogan and Salt-N-Pepa are the big names at your party, that doesn’t say good things about you. When Kevin Costner and the Doobie Brothers are grand marshals in parades at your event, that says even fewer good things about you. I know New Orleans is still in the process of rebuilding in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and ripping their signature event might be a little mean, I still have to do it. I wish the people of New Orleans well and if they truly want to recover quickly and have Mardi Gras be cool again, they might consider upgrading the talent level of the people they bring to town for this party….
- What I’ve always loved about the justice system in this country is the expediency with which justice is dispensed to those in need of it. Take for example the case of the fire at the Station nightclub back in February 2003 when ‘80s rockers Great White were playing an a pyrotechnic mishap set off a fire that left 100 people dead. A local TV station cameraman accused of getting in the way of people fleeing the burning club in a desperate attempt to film the incident at all costs has finally reached a tentative $30 million settlement with survivors and victims’ families. It’s the largest settlement to date with those who suffered losses in the fire, and thank God it came so quickly. Justice in five years or less, the American way. Brian Butler and WPRI-TV tied this up as long as possible and tried to avoid paying for their misdeeds, but the pressure finally forced their hand. Best of all is WPRI general manager Jay Howell still battling and trying to dispute his station’s culpability in the incident. “We did then, and still do, vehemently deny this allegation which is disproved by the video itself,” he yammered. Right, Jay, because people always agree to dole out $30 million when they’ve done nothing wrong. Does that agreement with the victims and their families also require you to continue acting like a disingenuous ass and deny what you’re agreeing to settle over? Everything about this incident still reeks, five years after the fact, and WRPI-TV isn’t helping alleviate that stench one bit.
- I’d love to believe that you’re not exporting toxic dumplings, China, but can you blame anyone for doubting your claims? You’ve exported toxic toothpaste, toys coated in lead paint and other dangerous items in recent months, so when some Japanese consumers and government officials claim that dumplings made by Tianyang Processing Ltd. made scores of customers ill. The Chinese product safety agency did its own study of the dangerous dumplings and reported that it found none of the insecticide cited by Japanese authorities. The Chinese also said none of the chemical was found at the factory where the dumplings were produced, nor was it found in the transport process. In other words, they’re calling the Japanese liars. Let’s go ahead and assume that it’s the Chinese who are liars here. They’re the ones exporting toxic, deadly products on a weekly basis and causing scares worldwide, so they’re not getting the benefit of the doubt on this one. Sorry Chinese, but you’ve earned this sort of scrutiny and disbelief until you prove otherwise….
- Nice try, Bill Beli-cheat. The crabby, thorny, classless coach of the New England Patriots did his best spin attempt today in trying to defend his actions at the end of Sunday’s Super Bowl, when a clock problem resulted in one second being left on the clock after the Pats turned the ball over on downs, meaning the Giants officially needed to run one play before the game could end. However, when everyone initially thought the game was over after the Patriots’ last offensive play, players, photographers and even a few fans surged out onto the field, with the postgame festivities and pleasantries underway. The officials eventually restored order and the Giants ran that final play, but Beli-cheat was already gone to the locker room. He shook hands with New York coach Tom Coughlin in the nitial field rush and apparently felt like actually staying to the end of the game and having the class to do what all other losing coaches do - congratulate a few of the players and team leaders from the opposing team - was too much to ask. When called out on his boorish behavior, Beli-cheat stated that at the time, no one knew how much tiem was really left on the clock and that since he had already shaken Coughlin’s hand, there was nothing else for him to do. Umm, other than stay to make srue the game was really over and having the dignity to shake the hand of Eli Manning, Michael Strahan or Plaxico Burress, you mean? Other than doing what a coach is supposed to do, namely remain on the field until the game is officially over and the clock hits 0:00? You can try to defend your actions, Hoodie, but just know that we’ve seen your act for far too long and seen you act like a classless piece of crap too many time to buy what you’re selling. Every time I think or talk about this thing, I become even happier that the Patriots lost, because clearly they deserved to.
- Know how certain events or places are cool for a while, “the” destination to go to and eventually they fall out of favor and become passé? Mardi Gras has gone that route, because clearly it’s an event that has jumped the shark in the most definitive way possible. I can say this with certainty because of the collection of luminaries that have been on hand for 2008’s rendition of the French Quarter’s most famous party. When attention-starved reality TV losers like Hulk Hogan and Salt-N-Pepa are the big names at your party, that doesn’t say good things about you. When Kevin Costner and the Doobie Brothers are grand marshals in parades at your event, that says even fewer good things about you. I know New Orleans is still in the process of rebuilding in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and ripping their signature event might be a little mean, I still have to do it. I wish the people of New Orleans well and if they truly want to recover quickly and have Mardi Gras be cool again, they might consider upgrading the talent level of the people they bring to town for this party….
- What I’ve always loved about the justice system in this country is the expediency with which justice is dispensed to those in need of it. Take for example the case of the fire at the Station nightclub back in February 2003 when ‘80s rockers Great White were playing an a pyrotechnic mishap set off a fire that left 100 people dead. A local TV station cameraman accused of getting in the way of people fleeing the burning club in a desperate attempt to film the incident at all costs has finally reached a tentative $30 million settlement with survivors and victims’ families. It’s the largest settlement to date with those who suffered losses in the fire, and thank God it came so quickly. Justice in five years or less, the American way. Brian Butler and WPRI-TV tied this up as long as possible and tried to avoid paying for their misdeeds, but the pressure finally forced their hand. Best of all is WPRI general manager Jay Howell still battling and trying to dispute his station’s culpability in the incident. “We did then, and still do, vehemently deny this allegation which is disproved by the video itself,” he yammered. Right, Jay, because people always agree to dole out $30 million when they’ve done nothing wrong. Does that agreement with the victims and their families also require you to continue acting like a disingenuous ass and deny what you’re agreeing to settle over? Everything about this incident still reeks, five years after the fact, and WRPI-TV isn’t helping alleviate that stench one bit.
- I’d love to believe that you’re not exporting toxic dumplings, China, but can you blame anyone for doubting your claims? You’ve exported toxic toothpaste, toys coated in lead paint and other dangerous items in recent months, so when some Japanese consumers and government officials claim that dumplings made by Tianyang Processing Ltd. made scores of customers ill. The Chinese product safety agency did its own study of the dangerous dumplings and reported that it found none of the insecticide cited by Japanese authorities. The Chinese also said none of the chemical was found at the factory where the dumplings were produced, nor was it found in the transport process. In other words, they’re calling the Japanese liars. Let’s go ahead and assume that it’s the Chinese who are liars here. They’re the ones exporting toxic, deadly products on a weekly basis and causing scares worldwide, so they’re not getting the benefit of the doubt on this one. Sorry Chinese, but you’ve earned this sort of scrutiny and disbelief until you prove otherwise….
Monday, February 04, 2008
Prison Break review, adios Bob Knight and a worst mom candidate
- The clock is ticking for America’s favorite inmates, the cons on Prison Break. Actually, the clock is ticking in two different ways after tonight’s great episode. First and foremost, only two new episodes remain before the show runs out of new ones to air due to the interminable writers’ strike. Secondly, the clock is now ticking on Michael Scofield’s plan to escape from the Panamanian hellhole known as SONA. The collapse of the escape tunnel under the prison’s inner wall last week that served the purpose of killing Lechero’s former lieutenant Sammy but also set the escape plan back severely put the would-be escapees in a bind. The episode this week began with the six of them - Michael, James Whistler, Lechero, Bellick, T-Bag and Mahone - discussing how to get their scheme back on track. Just as they got back to digging, a rainstorm created a whole new problem. The water seeping into the ground turned the dirt over the hole into mud and caused the sinkhole the group had been fearing. As a result, Michael was forced to accelerate the schedule for the escape from the next day to the night before. That set a chain of events into motion both inside and outside the prison. On the outside, Michael’s brother Lincoln and Whistler’s girlfriend Sofia were pulled into an impromptu meeting with Susan/Gretchen Morgan, the Company’s representative in Panama. After Sucre, working as an informant for Gretchen, revealed that Michael was having second thoughts about breaking Whistler out, Gretchen wanted to reinforce the need to stick with the plan. She uses a hot iron to burn Sofia as Whistler is forced to listen on the phone. Meanwhile, Michael is busy at SONA figuring out a way to make it out of the prison that night. He settles on knocking out the power to take out the lights but the presence of backup generator is problem. The lights will go off, but with the generator, they’ll come right back on. Using Lechero’s cell phone and Sucre’s access to the grounds as a member of the prison ground crew, Michael gets the information on the make and model of the generator, calls the company that made it and finds out that there will be a 30-second lag between the power going out and the backup generator kicking in. Speaking of kicking….Michael also looks like he’d like to dropkick the annoying Panamanian kid wearing the Tracy McGrady jersey who he’s befriended in SONA. The kid keeps begging to get in on the escape plan, but Michael refuses. However, the kid’s persistence wears him down and by episode’s end, T-Mac is part of the escape. Before the escape can go down, though, Gretchen wants Whistler to give up the mysterious coordinates he has that the company needs. What the coordinates are for, we don’t know. But when pressed, Whistler tears the sheet with the coordinates written on it in half and gives half to Gretchen and promises to other half when Michael, Lincoln, LJ and Sofia are safe outside SONA. However, Sucre is also in need of help, the others just don’t know it. His boss at the prison, a member of the Panamanian military, learns that he’s a wanted man and Sucre is detained. He does, however, manage to sabotage one of the jeeps responsible for night patrols outside the prison, bolstering the escape plan. Inside the prison, though, politics and infighting threaten to undermine it. T-Bag is intention stirring the pot and forms an alliance with Lechero that results in Lechero pulling a knife as the escape begins and threatening to kill Whistler unless Lechero and T-Bag get to go through the escape hole first. Mahone resists T-Bag’s goading and also turns down an offer from Bellick to partner up. As the episode comes to a close, Lincoln hijacks a bus and crashes it into a light pole near a prison, setting off a chain reaction that knocks out the power at SONA. The lights go out and Michael gives the order to go as things come to a close for the week. Next week we’re going to find out who escaped, who got left behind and more details on the Company and its grand conspiracy. However, with only two episodes left (damn you, writers and networks), the plug is going to get pulled prematurely on what has become a fantastic season of PB. So until next week…..
- Good riddance, Bob Knight. The General has resigned as the head basketball coach at Texas Tech, and while many around the basketball world laud his career and salute him as he rides off into the sunset, I’m not sorry to see him go and I’ll enjoy college basketball more without his surly arse around. Yes, he has maintained a high graduation rate for his players at every school he’s coached at and many former player praise him for all he’s done to help them. I’m not denying he’s done a lot of good and in a big way, I’m simply saying that the big pile of positives does not cancel out or negate the scores of awful things he’s done and said to hurt people and embarrass those who put their trust in him. I could go on for days listing these incidents, but choking former player Neil Reed in practice, using a bull whip on former player Calbert Cheaney, throwing a flower vase across the room at a secretary in the athletic department offices at Indiana University, telling interviewer Connie Chung that, “If rape is inevitable, why doesn’t the woman just sit back and enjoy it?”, throwing a chair across the court, punching a police officer in Puerto Rico and verbally berating and assaulting an IU student who made the “mistake” of greeting him with “Hey Knight!” in passing on campus highlight those problems well enough. It’s awesome that he influenced so many young guys in such a profound way, but that doesn’t give him carte blanche to act like a classless ass and a boor the rest of the time. Good riddance, Bob. I had to laugh when I heard that he told his staff at Texas Tech that, “I can’t do it anymore. After 42 years (of coaching), I’m tired.” Tired of what? Assaulting people? Sticking your foot in your mouth? I’m tired too, Bob. Tired of your act, that is. Adios, jerk.
- Funny, I thought those Nigerian fraud schemes of wealth and prosperity via the Internet didn’t actually work. I mean, who’s stupid enough to buy what some fraudulent loser is trying to sucker them into by sending thousands of dollars to a stranger for the promise of an unclaimed royal fortune in Africa? As it turns out, unclaimed Nigerian wealth isn’t the only scheme tied to that particular country when it comes to Internet fraud and stupidity. Shannell Monique Mosley, 33, of Houston decided that it would be a good idea to leave her eight kids with little food and no money so she could travel to Nigeria to marry a man she met on the Internet. She was arrested as she got off an Air France jet at George Bush International Airport in Houston and now faces charges of child endangerment and child abandonment. Too bad you can’t be charged for being a moron, because she’s get a life sentence on that one. I don’t know how old her kids are, but since she has eight and you have to figure a year per kid, I’m guessing at least one or two of them are teenagers. However, that doesn’t qualify them to be substitute parents while you waste money they badly need for food, clothing and shelter on a plane ticket to meet some stranger you fell in “love” with online who lives in Nigeria. Are you freaking kidding me? Unless this is the guy behind that Internet scam story and he really does have a royal fortune waiting for him, you need to focus on raising your kids, lady. Stop getting knocked up when you don’t have the money or intelligence to raise the kids you already have and stop flying to other continents to marry dudes you’ve never even met face-to-face.
- The Writers Guild of America has reached a working contract agreement….with The Film Department and Intermedia Films. I’d love to tell you the deal was with the Association of Motion Picture and Television Producers, but those negotiations are still slogging along. These two interim deals allow writers to go back to work on projects with the two aforementioned entities, but a deal for the striking writers as a whole is still a bit down the road. Last week, an upswing in negotiations raised hope that this TV season could be salvaged, but anyone who bought into that is just naïve. The strike is now more than three months old and shows no signs of ending. This has become one of those situations where, when it’s over, there truly will be no winners, only losers and victims.
- A big part of what’s great about Mars Volta has been that they’re not a band for the mainstream. They’re odd, enigmatic, arty and unusual and for those reasons, they will never be hugely popular on a grand scale but will always remain a great band. Their newest album, The Bedlam in Goliath, is perfect evidence for that statement. A bevy of guest musicians add to the band’s already awesome sound, including Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist John Frusciante. Omar Rodriguez-Lopez remains a magician with a guitar, and his chops along make this album worth listening to. Progressive rock may be a passé genre in the eyes of some, but Mars Volta takes it and infuses its own blend of punk, hardcore, funk and psychedelic goodness. Aberinkula is the signature track for the album, but the sound varies enough that you can’t really encapsulate it in one single song. I know I rip on a lot of albums that come out because they’re mainstream crap that is over-produced, bubble gum pop without imagination, thought or real musicianship, but this is one album that is none of those negative things. It’s an amazing sonic experience and you’ll be glad to have it in your collection.
- Good riddance, Bob Knight. The General has resigned as the head basketball coach at Texas Tech, and while many around the basketball world laud his career and salute him as he rides off into the sunset, I’m not sorry to see him go and I’ll enjoy college basketball more without his surly arse around. Yes, he has maintained a high graduation rate for his players at every school he’s coached at and many former player praise him for all he’s done to help them. I’m not denying he’s done a lot of good and in a big way, I’m simply saying that the big pile of positives does not cancel out or negate the scores of awful things he’s done and said to hurt people and embarrass those who put their trust in him. I could go on for days listing these incidents, but choking former player Neil Reed in practice, using a bull whip on former player Calbert Cheaney, throwing a flower vase across the room at a secretary in the athletic department offices at Indiana University, telling interviewer Connie Chung that, “If rape is inevitable, why doesn’t the woman just sit back and enjoy it?”, throwing a chair across the court, punching a police officer in Puerto Rico and verbally berating and assaulting an IU student who made the “mistake” of greeting him with “Hey Knight!” in passing on campus highlight those problems well enough. It’s awesome that he influenced so many young guys in such a profound way, but that doesn’t give him carte blanche to act like a classless ass and a boor the rest of the time. Good riddance, Bob. I had to laugh when I heard that he told his staff at Texas Tech that, “I can’t do it anymore. After 42 years (of coaching), I’m tired.” Tired of what? Assaulting people? Sticking your foot in your mouth? I’m tired too, Bob. Tired of your act, that is. Adios, jerk.
- Funny, I thought those Nigerian fraud schemes of wealth and prosperity via the Internet didn’t actually work. I mean, who’s stupid enough to buy what some fraudulent loser is trying to sucker them into by sending thousands of dollars to a stranger for the promise of an unclaimed royal fortune in Africa? As it turns out, unclaimed Nigerian wealth isn’t the only scheme tied to that particular country when it comes to Internet fraud and stupidity. Shannell Monique Mosley, 33, of Houston decided that it would be a good idea to leave her eight kids with little food and no money so she could travel to Nigeria to marry a man she met on the Internet. She was arrested as she got off an Air France jet at George Bush International Airport in Houston and now faces charges of child endangerment and child abandonment. Too bad you can’t be charged for being a moron, because she’s get a life sentence on that one. I don’t know how old her kids are, but since she has eight and you have to figure a year per kid, I’m guessing at least one or two of them are teenagers. However, that doesn’t qualify them to be substitute parents while you waste money they badly need for food, clothing and shelter on a plane ticket to meet some stranger you fell in “love” with online who lives in Nigeria. Are you freaking kidding me? Unless this is the guy behind that Internet scam story and he really does have a royal fortune waiting for him, you need to focus on raising your kids, lady. Stop getting knocked up when you don’t have the money or intelligence to raise the kids you already have and stop flying to other continents to marry dudes you’ve never even met face-to-face.
- The Writers Guild of America has reached a working contract agreement….with The Film Department and Intermedia Films. I’d love to tell you the deal was with the Association of Motion Picture and Television Producers, but those negotiations are still slogging along. These two interim deals allow writers to go back to work on projects with the two aforementioned entities, but a deal for the striking writers as a whole is still a bit down the road. Last week, an upswing in negotiations raised hope that this TV season could be salvaged, but anyone who bought into that is just naïve. The strike is now more than three months old and shows no signs of ending. This has become one of those situations where, when it’s over, there truly will be no winners, only losers and victims.
- A big part of what’s great about Mars Volta has been that they’re not a band for the mainstream. They’re odd, enigmatic, arty and unusual and for those reasons, they will never be hugely popular on a grand scale but will always remain a great band. Their newest album, The Bedlam in Goliath, is perfect evidence for that statement. A bevy of guest musicians add to the band’s already awesome sound, including Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist John Frusciante. Omar Rodriguez-Lopez remains a magician with a guitar, and his chops along make this album worth listening to. Progressive rock may be a passé genre in the eyes of some, but Mars Volta takes it and infuses its own blend of punk, hardcore, funk and psychedelic goodness. Aberinkula is the signature track for the album, but the sound varies enough that you can’t really encapsulate it in one single song. I know I rip on a lot of albums that come out because they’re mainstream crap that is over-produced, bubble gum pop without imagination, thought or real musicianship, but this is one album that is none of those negative things. It’s an amazing sonic experience and you’ll be glad to have it in your collection.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Beer pong with Bacon, in the courtroom with O.J. and more nightclub trouble for athletes
- I may not like Kevin Bacon’s film and his musical career maybe be the biggest joke this side of American Karaoke and Brit Spears, but at least Bacon is cool enough to mingle with the average Joe. Last Friday night, Kevin Bacon agreed to go up to Hanover to receive the Dartmouth Film Award following a tongue-in-cheek retrospective of his work. Even though the tribute was designed to poke fun at him, Bacon went along with it. According to The Dartmouth, Bacon took the whole thing in stride. “To make fun of yourself is a great honor,” he told the crowd at Spaulding Auditorium. The capper for the evening was even better, with Bacon returning to Alpha Delta, the frat he memorialized so many years ago in Animal House. He played beer pong, hung out and didn’t act like a Hollywood a-hole. All in all, a very cool evening and one the smart kids at Dartmouth will remember for a long time. Of course, without the writers’ strike, K. Bacon might have had better things to do with his time, but you take chances where they come.
- Well of course O.J. Simpson is going to try and get the charges against him dismissed just by asking, what did you expect? His aforementioned deal with the devil basically allows him to be the worst guy ever and get away with it, so he does what he wants (murders two people, writers how-to murder books, etc.) and gets away with it. Thus, you can’t be surprised that the Juice filed court papers seeking dismissal of half the charges against him, saying prosecutors in Nevada failed to meet legal standards to prosecute him for kidnapping, robbery and conspiracy, his lawyer said Friday. “We're challenging things that we think should never have been let go to the District Court,” said the Juice’s attorney, Gabriel Grasso. Grasso filed court papers Thursday claiming prosecutors didn't meet the evidentiary standards to prosecute six of the 12 charges against Orenthal. “They're charging O.J. with ... the specific intent to commit robbery,” Grasso said, citing Nevada law underlying the felony charge of robbery. “He wasn't stealing from somebody else. He was taking back something that was his.” Going into a hotel room and taking things at gunpoint doesn’t exactly sound like not robbing someone to me, Gabe. Can the Juice prove he only took things he knew for sure were his and that they were indeed stolen from him? Simpson, 60, is accused of leading five other men in the commando-style raid on two memorabilia dealers who were peddling collectibles associated with Simpson, including the suit he wore the day he was wrongfully acquitted of turning ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman into human Pez dispensers. Grasso also said Simpson would fight the other six charges against him at his trial, set to begin April 7. Those counts include burglary, coercion and assault with a deadly weapon. Ironically, if you listen to the audio recording of the incident, a voice sound suspiciously like the Juice’s can be heard taking part in all of those crimes, so getting acquitted should be impossible - or it would be if we weren’t talking about O.J. Simpson. Really, you couldn’t bet against this guy if there were multiple camera angles showing him holding a gun, taking gear that didn’t belong to him and four dozen eyewitnesses to the whole thing. The Juice may be the world’s most despicable human being, but he’s bulletproof when it comes to committing crimes and getting away with them….
- So I guess Ducati doesn’t require mental health exams before someone purchases one of its ultra-expensive motorcycles. Otherwise, there’s not a snowball in Death Valley’s chance that confirmed whack-a-doo Tom Cruise would be allowed to be first in line to get the company’s new superbike, the Desmosedici, for a hefty price tag of $72,500. Realize that the money is not the issue here; giving a possibly lethal instrument to someone whose mental state is about as stable as a vial of nitroglycerine in a centrifuge and you can see the real problem. This bike has titanium, magnesium and carbon fiber technology that can propel the bike at speeds of up to 200 mph. Of course, given that he once appeared in Mission: Impossible movies wherein a stunt double portrayed him riding high-speed motorcycles in dangerous situations, I’m sure Tom will be just fine. Well, as fine as a totally insane person with no concept of reality can be, of course. Who knows, maybe Tom will be so psyched about riding his new bike that he’ll forget tormenting the rest of us with that Scientology bullsh*t……..
- Exactly how many of these is it going to take for professional athletes to finally get the message? How many times do players have to be shot, stabbed, arrested or even killed in nightclub incidents for these guys to get the message that maybe clubs and strip joints aren’t the place they want to be spending their time? The most recent example of this trend occurred early this morning in Blakely, Ga., where New Orleans Saints defensive end Charles Grant was stabbed in the neck and a pregnant woman was shot and killed in an altercation at a nightclub in this southwestern Georgia town. Grant was assaulted and had an injury to his neck as a result of the incident and was transported to Early Memorial Hospital, where he was treated and later released. Early County Sheriff's deputies responded to reports of a fight around 1 a.m. Sunday at a club in Blakely, 190 miles southwest of Atlanta. Also involved in the incident was 23-year-old Korynda Reed of Blakely who died at the hospital after being shot. “We believe the altercation began inside one of the nightclubs; it was taken outside. It kind of continued down the street,” a police spokesman said. “It appears Mr. Grant was assaulted, and shortly after several gunshots were fired.” Here’s the kicker in this situation: it doesn’t even matter if Grant did anything wrong. It doesn’t matter if any of these athletes do anything wrong when they’re involved in these nightclub incidents, because what matters is the end result. They’re getting hurt or killed and they are, like it or not, targets when they roll up on clubs in their expensive whips and decked out in their high-priced threads and ice. People are looking to hassle them and get under their skin. Is it really worth it to have a couple of hours of fun at a club for the even money chance that you’ll be shot, stabbed or end up in trouble with the law? Can’t you find your fun and get your freak on somewhere else? Ask Charles Grant, because I’m sure he’d tell you that the club isn’t the best place to hang.
- Music is not a fair business. No, I’m not referring to the fact that there are corrupt people, shady deals and overlooked artists around the industry, although all of that is true. What I am referring to is the fact that when Forbes.com finished compiling its list of the richest female artists in muisic, every single freaking artist at or near the top of the list absolutely blows. Madonna tops the list by making $72 million between June 2006 and June 2007, and you know how I feel about her crap-tacular, synthesized pop garbage she calls music. Second and third on the list are two of the most boring, lame, “only enjoy them if you’re a middle-aged gay man” artists around - Babs Streisand and Celine Dion. Next on the list are warbling, vocally talentless Colombian pop tart Shakira, Gwen Stefani and her weak mix of pop, bubble-gum hip hop and assorted other crappy musical influences, Christian Aguilera, Faith Hill (country music singer, ick, ‘nuff said), the Dixie Chunks and Mariah Carey. Those are the top earners, but clearly they’re not the ten best out there in terms of female musicians. I wouldn’t pay a penny to have every CD they’ve ever made combined and tickets to every one of their concerts for the rest of their respective careers. No, music is definitely not a business that rewards those who are most deserving.
- Well of course O.J. Simpson is going to try and get the charges against him dismissed just by asking, what did you expect? His aforementioned deal with the devil basically allows him to be the worst guy ever and get away with it, so he does what he wants (murders two people, writers how-to murder books, etc.) and gets away with it. Thus, you can’t be surprised that the Juice filed court papers seeking dismissal of half the charges against him, saying prosecutors in Nevada failed to meet legal standards to prosecute him for kidnapping, robbery and conspiracy, his lawyer said Friday. “We're challenging things that we think should never have been let go to the District Court,” said the Juice’s attorney, Gabriel Grasso. Grasso filed court papers Thursday claiming prosecutors didn't meet the evidentiary standards to prosecute six of the 12 charges against Orenthal. “They're charging O.J. with ... the specific intent to commit robbery,” Grasso said, citing Nevada law underlying the felony charge of robbery. “He wasn't stealing from somebody else. He was taking back something that was his.” Going into a hotel room and taking things at gunpoint doesn’t exactly sound like not robbing someone to me, Gabe. Can the Juice prove he only took things he knew for sure were his and that they were indeed stolen from him? Simpson, 60, is accused of leading five other men in the commando-style raid on two memorabilia dealers who were peddling collectibles associated with Simpson, including the suit he wore the day he was wrongfully acquitted of turning ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman into human Pez dispensers. Grasso also said Simpson would fight the other six charges against him at his trial, set to begin April 7. Those counts include burglary, coercion and assault with a deadly weapon. Ironically, if you listen to the audio recording of the incident, a voice sound suspiciously like the Juice’s can be heard taking part in all of those crimes, so getting acquitted should be impossible - or it would be if we weren’t talking about O.J. Simpson. Really, you couldn’t bet against this guy if there were multiple camera angles showing him holding a gun, taking gear that didn’t belong to him and four dozen eyewitnesses to the whole thing. The Juice may be the world’s most despicable human being, but he’s bulletproof when it comes to committing crimes and getting away with them….
- So I guess Ducati doesn’t require mental health exams before someone purchases one of its ultra-expensive motorcycles. Otherwise, there’s not a snowball in Death Valley’s chance that confirmed whack-a-doo Tom Cruise would be allowed to be first in line to get the company’s new superbike, the Desmosedici, for a hefty price tag of $72,500. Realize that the money is not the issue here; giving a possibly lethal instrument to someone whose mental state is about as stable as a vial of nitroglycerine in a centrifuge and you can see the real problem. This bike has titanium, magnesium and carbon fiber technology that can propel the bike at speeds of up to 200 mph. Of course, given that he once appeared in Mission: Impossible movies wherein a stunt double portrayed him riding high-speed motorcycles in dangerous situations, I’m sure Tom will be just fine. Well, as fine as a totally insane person with no concept of reality can be, of course. Who knows, maybe Tom will be so psyched about riding his new bike that he’ll forget tormenting the rest of us with that Scientology bullsh*t……..
- Exactly how many of these is it going to take for professional athletes to finally get the message? How many times do players have to be shot, stabbed, arrested or even killed in nightclub incidents for these guys to get the message that maybe clubs and strip joints aren’t the place they want to be spending their time? The most recent example of this trend occurred early this morning in Blakely, Ga., where New Orleans Saints defensive end Charles Grant was stabbed in the neck and a pregnant woman was shot and killed in an altercation at a nightclub in this southwestern Georgia town. Grant was assaulted and had an injury to his neck as a result of the incident and was transported to Early Memorial Hospital, where he was treated and later released. Early County Sheriff's deputies responded to reports of a fight around 1 a.m. Sunday at a club in Blakely, 190 miles southwest of Atlanta. Also involved in the incident was 23-year-old Korynda Reed of Blakely who died at the hospital after being shot. “We believe the altercation began inside one of the nightclubs; it was taken outside. It kind of continued down the street,” a police spokesman said. “It appears Mr. Grant was assaulted, and shortly after several gunshots were fired.” Here’s the kicker in this situation: it doesn’t even matter if Grant did anything wrong. It doesn’t matter if any of these athletes do anything wrong when they’re involved in these nightclub incidents, because what matters is the end result. They’re getting hurt or killed and they are, like it or not, targets when they roll up on clubs in their expensive whips and decked out in their high-priced threads and ice. People are looking to hassle them and get under their skin. Is it really worth it to have a couple of hours of fun at a club for the even money chance that you’ll be shot, stabbed or end up in trouble with the law? Can’t you find your fun and get your freak on somewhere else? Ask Charles Grant, because I’m sure he’d tell you that the club isn’t the best place to hang.
- Music is not a fair business. No, I’m not referring to the fact that there are corrupt people, shady deals and overlooked artists around the industry, although all of that is true. What I am referring to is the fact that when Forbes.com finished compiling its list of the richest female artists in muisic, every single freaking artist at or near the top of the list absolutely blows. Madonna tops the list by making $72 million between June 2006 and June 2007, and you know how I feel about her crap-tacular, synthesized pop garbage she calls music. Second and third on the list are two of the most boring, lame, “only enjoy them if you’re a middle-aged gay man” artists around - Babs Streisand and Celine Dion. Next on the list are warbling, vocally talentless Colombian pop tart Shakira, Gwen Stefani and her weak mix of pop, bubble-gum hip hop and assorted other crappy musical influences, Christian Aguilera, Faith Hill (country music singer, ick, ‘nuff said), the Dixie Chunks and Mariah Carey. Those are the top earners, but clearly they’re not the ten best out there in terms of female musicians. I wouldn’t pay a penny to have every CD they’ve ever made combined and tickets to every one of their concerts for the rest of their respective careers. No, music is definitely not a business that rewards those who are most deserving.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Yankees and Sox both lose, a deadly Xbox incident and the greatest inventor of all time
- That cheering sound you hear is baseball fans worldwide celebrating that with the dust from the Johan Santana trade sweepstakes having settled, the best lefty in the game will be going to neither the Yankees nor the Red Sox. Instead, the New York Mets have agreed to a trade with the Minnesota Twins to acquire for four prospects. The Mets had a 72-hour window to work out a new contract with Santana and worked out a doozy, a 7-year, $150 million whopper that’s the biggest contract ever for a pitcher. Now, the Mets will send outfielder Carlos Gomez and pitchers Phil Humber, Deolis Guerra and Kevin Mulvey to the Twins. The Red Sox also made offers, while the Yankees appeared to be out of the Santana talks altogether before the Twins accepted the Mets' offer. Minnesota was really in a bind here, with Santana’s agent promising he would leave via free agency after this season and would not resign with the Twins. Trading away a future hall of famer under the age of 30 is unenviable, but when you either trade him prior to a season in which you have zero chance to win the World Series or see him walk away after the season and get nothing back, you choose the first option. Personally I would have been fine with Santana staying in Minnesota and I would have been fine with any of the 27 other teams in baseball trading for him, just as long as the two most despisable franchises in MLB, the Yanks and Red Sox, didn’t get him.
- I think we all know that video games can be addictive and that you can get way too wrapped up in them without much effort. That being said, let’s all agree that killing an infant because she inadvertently pulls down your Xbox console while you’re getting your game on is not an appropriate recourse. Tyrone Spellman, a clear favorite for worst father of the decade with two years still to go, has some rage issues that he will now get to work out in prison after being convicted this week for beating his 17-month-old daughter Alayiah to death back in September 2006 because the young girl got in the way of his eight, yes, eight hours of playing video games a day. When little Alayiah yanked on the game console and messed up her dad’s game, he began bludgeoning her, fracturing her skull multiple times and killing her. He’s been convicted of third-degree murder and child endangerment and faces between 23 and 47 years in prison. Actually, 47 years is probably too lenient for this piece of crap. Dude, it’s a freaking video game. A) You should not be playing for eight hours a day if you’re over the age of 14, and B) How are you so out of touch with reality that you think beating an infant to death is an acceptable response to them messing up your game of Madden ’06? C’mon, bro. Use the half century in the hole to think about where life went wrong for you, it sounds like you need all the time you can get.
- This is one of those tough spots for me. On the one hand, I loves me some riot action. Any kind of civil of social disobedience, especially protests and riots involving marches, banners, looting, burning of vehicles and buildings and clashes with police, I’m down. On the other hand, I enjoy living here in the United States; it’s a good place to be. So when I hear that hundreds of Pakistani students were protesting the U.S.-led war on terror and chanting “Death to America” this week, I’m torn. I admire the spirit of dissidence, but I’m going to have to go against the protestors on this one. Good attitude, right thought, but directed in the wrong direction. Find someone or something else to protest, angry Pakistani students, because while you could vehemently protest the war in Iraq, the war on terrorism isn’t something you should be disagreeing with. Terrorists kill innocent people and use violence as a means of achieving their selfish agenda. Say we should get out of Iraq, ok. Say we need to stop hunting and taking down terrorists, sorry to say it, but you’re wrong and your protest cries ring hollow. I actually am pissed at each of you for putting me in this position, because protests are normally awesome and you’ve taken something awesome and turned it into something I have to rip….
- I’ve found my new favorite invention of all time: pot vending machines. Yes, years of innovation, advances in technology and experimentation have led us to this pivotal moment in world history. We now have automated machines to dispense marijuana. The man we have to thank for this is Los Angeles medical-cannabis dispensary owner Vincent Mehdizadeh, who has brought the world his new Marijuana vending machine, one of which is installed at the Herbal Nutrition Center in Los Angeles. Now this isn’t a one-stop hop for stoners to roll up and get their daily stash of the hippie lettuce. The machines, at least in theory, are for patients suffering from chronic pain, loss of appetite and other ailments that marijuana is said to alleviate. These people can get their pot with a dose of convenience at the Herbal Nutrition Center, where a large machine will dole out the drug around the clock. “Convenient access, lower prices, safety, anonymity,” inventor and owner Vincent Mehdizadeh said. Not surprisingly, the prudes at the Drug Enforcement Agency are looking to ruin a good thing. “Somebody owns (it), it's on a property and somebody fills it,” said DEA Special Agent Jose Martinez. “Once we find out where it's at, we'll look into it and see if they're violating laws.” Tone it down, DEA. I’m sure no one will breaking any laws here. I’m also sure that at each of the Pot ATM dispensaries in the city, including two belonging to Mehdizadeh, only people with who carry cards authorizing marijuana use will make use of the installed vending machines to distribute the hippie lettuce.
Let’s not have Mehdizadeh’s seven months spent developing and patenting the Pot ATM go to waste.
The computerized machine requires fingerprint identification and a prepaid card with a magnetic stripe, and being the honorable group they are, stoners would in no way dream of trying to circumvent the rules to score some weed. Each purchase from the machine yields 1/8th or 2/8th of an ounce. Best of all, by eliminating a vendor behind the counter, the machine offers users lower drug prices. The 1/8th ounce packet would cost about $40 — $20 lower than the average price at other dispensaries. See, discount weed and without the cumbersome nature of having to have your coupons handy. Instead of looking for ways to persecute and the wonderful people who have brought us this great advance in technology, let’s salute them for the heroes that they truly are.
- Being a good teammate and having a sense of togetherness and harmony is vital for a successful team in any sport. When that fails, though, the logical next step has to be second-degree assault, right? That’s the lesson I’ve learned from Washington State University football player Xavier Hicks, a free safety from Fullerton, Calif., who was arrested for second-degree assault for allegedly putting rubbing alcohol in teammate and roommate Grady Maxwell's contact-lens case. Of course, this tiff started where all truly meaningful disagreements begin: a problem with their $80 cable bill. Maxwell paid half of the bill, about $40, before leaving for Christmas and Hicks apparently was supposed to pay rest of the bill. When Maxwell returned to campus after the holiday break, the cable service had been turned off because the bill wasn't paid. A dispute arose and Hicks went full-on knucklehead, electing to switch out his roomie’s contact lens fluid with rubbing alcohol. Good move, chief. When dealing with a problem over an unpaid cable bill, it’s best to do something that could cause serious damage to your buddy’s eyes. Among the possible results of the stunt were at corneal abrasion and irritation and a great deal of discomfort for two or three days. At the very worst, there could have been burning and scarring and a chance for decreased vision, but not blindness. Thankfully Maxwell noticed that his contact lenses had gotten larger than usual, pulled them out and sniffed them. When he smelled rubbing alcohol, he smartly chose not to put them in his eyes. Now the case has been sent to the prosecutor's office, but it's uncertain if charges will be filed. If nothing else, this should do loads to boost team chemistry for WSU, because the team that attempts to feloniously assault one another wins together, or something like that….
- I think we all know that video games can be addictive and that you can get way too wrapped up in them without much effort. That being said, let’s all agree that killing an infant because she inadvertently pulls down your Xbox console while you’re getting your game on is not an appropriate recourse. Tyrone Spellman, a clear favorite for worst father of the decade with two years still to go, has some rage issues that he will now get to work out in prison after being convicted this week for beating his 17-month-old daughter Alayiah to death back in September 2006 because the young girl got in the way of his eight, yes, eight hours of playing video games a day. When little Alayiah yanked on the game console and messed up her dad’s game, he began bludgeoning her, fracturing her skull multiple times and killing her. He’s been convicted of third-degree murder and child endangerment and faces between 23 and 47 years in prison. Actually, 47 years is probably too lenient for this piece of crap. Dude, it’s a freaking video game. A) You should not be playing for eight hours a day if you’re over the age of 14, and B) How are you so out of touch with reality that you think beating an infant to death is an acceptable response to them messing up your game of Madden ’06? C’mon, bro. Use the half century in the hole to think about where life went wrong for you, it sounds like you need all the time you can get.
- This is one of those tough spots for me. On the one hand, I loves me some riot action. Any kind of civil of social disobedience, especially protests and riots involving marches, banners, looting, burning of vehicles and buildings and clashes with police, I’m down. On the other hand, I enjoy living here in the United States; it’s a good place to be. So when I hear that hundreds of Pakistani students were protesting the U.S.-led war on terror and chanting “Death to America” this week, I’m torn. I admire the spirit of dissidence, but I’m going to have to go against the protestors on this one. Good attitude, right thought, but directed in the wrong direction. Find someone or something else to protest, angry Pakistani students, because while you could vehemently protest the war in Iraq, the war on terrorism isn’t something you should be disagreeing with. Terrorists kill innocent people and use violence as a means of achieving their selfish agenda. Say we should get out of Iraq, ok. Say we need to stop hunting and taking down terrorists, sorry to say it, but you’re wrong and your protest cries ring hollow. I actually am pissed at each of you for putting me in this position, because protests are normally awesome and you’ve taken something awesome and turned it into something I have to rip….
- I’ve found my new favorite invention of all time: pot vending machines. Yes, years of innovation, advances in technology and experimentation have led us to this pivotal moment in world history. We now have automated machines to dispense marijuana. The man we have to thank for this is Los Angeles medical-cannabis dispensary owner Vincent Mehdizadeh, who has brought the world his new Marijuana vending machine, one of which is installed at the Herbal Nutrition Center in Los Angeles. Now this isn’t a one-stop hop for stoners to roll up and get their daily stash of the hippie lettuce. The machines, at least in theory, are for patients suffering from chronic pain, loss of appetite and other ailments that marijuana is said to alleviate. These people can get their pot with a dose of convenience at the Herbal Nutrition Center, where a large machine will dole out the drug around the clock. “Convenient access, lower prices, safety, anonymity,” inventor and owner Vincent Mehdizadeh said. Not surprisingly, the prudes at the Drug Enforcement Agency are looking to ruin a good thing. “Somebody owns (it), it's on a property and somebody fills it,” said DEA Special Agent Jose Martinez. “Once we find out where it's at, we'll look into it and see if they're violating laws.” Tone it down, DEA. I’m sure no one will breaking any laws here. I’m also sure that at each of the Pot ATM dispensaries in the city, including two belonging to Mehdizadeh, only people with who carry cards authorizing marijuana use will make use of the installed vending machines to distribute the hippie lettuce.
Let’s not have Mehdizadeh’s seven months spent developing and patenting the Pot ATM go to waste.
The computerized machine requires fingerprint identification and a prepaid card with a magnetic stripe, and being the honorable group they are, stoners would in no way dream of trying to circumvent the rules to score some weed. Each purchase from the machine yields 1/8th or 2/8th of an ounce. Best of all, by eliminating a vendor behind the counter, the machine offers users lower drug prices. The 1/8th ounce packet would cost about $40 — $20 lower than the average price at other dispensaries. See, discount weed and without the cumbersome nature of having to have your coupons handy. Instead of looking for ways to persecute and the wonderful people who have brought us this great advance in technology, let’s salute them for the heroes that they truly are.
- Being a good teammate and having a sense of togetherness and harmony is vital for a successful team in any sport. When that fails, though, the logical next step has to be second-degree assault, right? That’s the lesson I’ve learned from Washington State University football player Xavier Hicks, a free safety from Fullerton, Calif., who was arrested for second-degree assault for allegedly putting rubbing alcohol in teammate and roommate Grady Maxwell's contact-lens case. Of course, this tiff started where all truly meaningful disagreements begin: a problem with their $80 cable bill. Maxwell paid half of the bill, about $40, before leaving for Christmas and Hicks apparently was supposed to pay rest of the bill. When Maxwell returned to campus after the holiday break, the cable service had been turned off because the bill wasn't paid. A dispute arose and Hicks went full-on knucklehead, electing to switch out his roomie’s contact lens fluid with rubbing alcohol. Good move, chief. When dealing with a problem over an unpaid cable bill, it’s best to do something that could cause serious damage to your buddy’s eyes. Among the possible results of the stunt were at corneal abrasion and irritation and a great deal of discomfort for two or three days. At the very worst, there could have been burning and scarring and a chance for decreased vision, but not blindness. Thankfully Maxwell noticed that his contact lenses had gotten larger than usual, pulled them out and sniffed them. When he smelled rubbing alcohol, he smartly chose not to put them in his eyes. Now the case has been sent to the prosecutor's office, but it's uncertain if charges will be filed. If nothing else, this should do loads to boost team chemistry for WSU, because the team that attempts to feloniously assault one another wins together, or something like that….
Friday, February 01, 2008
Umpires with KKK ties, Hank Clinton didn't win in Florida and Rich Fraud-riguez still a piece of garbage
- Nice try, Rich Fraud-riguez. Trying to beat your former employer out of $2.5 million by offering to pay 37.5 percent of what you actually owe under the terms of a contract YOU AGREED TO AND SIGNED YOURSELF, A-HOLE. The former has offered to pay the school $1.5 million to buy out the final six years of his contract, according to a letter of credit filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Clarksburg, W.Va. He owers $4 million under the terms of the contract that HE SIGNED WITH HIS OWN HAND, but he wants to pay $1.5 mil? Ok! Know what? I’m going to try this strategy in my life. I’ll write the IRS a letter and tell them that although I may owe $1,000 in taxes, in a spirit of good faith, I’m going to pay them $375 instead. Why stop there? I’ll go down to the local BMW dealer and in “good faith,” offer to give them $12,000 for a $40,000 car. I like this, I think it could work. But back to reality and my man R. Fraud-riguez. He has filed the letter of credit “in the spirit of compromise and as an act of good faith to assure West Virginia University that if this Honorable Court makes an award against Defendant, said monies will be paid,” according to the court filing. Not surprisingly, WVU isn’t down with Fraud-riguez’s offer. WVU “has no interest in resolving this for $1.5 million,” said Tom Flaherty, the school’s legal representation in the case. “The university has lived up to all its obligations under the contract, and the university expects him to live up to the $4 million that is owed.” Good for you, WVU. That piece of garbage signed the deal, he should honor it. And no, I don’t buy the vain, hollow threats and posturing from Fraud-riguez’s team of attorneys about what they’ll do to WVU if this thing plays out. “When I file something, I'm going to hurt them and I don't want to,” attorney Marv Robon said. “I have no ax to grind with that university, but I have to protect the interests of Rich and his wife Rita. The other side is so hell bent on what they want to do -- a burning-the-bridges kind of thing.” Oooh, Marv, stop it, you’re scaring me. You a bad man, Marv. You and your hollow threats are just soooo terrifying. You’re going to hurt them? Really? With what, your overpriced suit, horn-rimmed glasses and legal degree from the University of Phoenix Online? Your client is a fraud and a liar, so you can threaten anyone you want, but he’s going to lose and then he’s going to have to pay both your exorbitant legal fees and the $4 million he owes WVU. WVU sued Rodriguez last month to collect on a $4 million buyout clause in the contract he signed Aug. 24, but Fraud-riguez’s attorneys have disputed the coach owes his former school that much. Fraud-riguez claims he was pressured into signing a one-year extension at West Virginia and claims university president Mike Garrison promised to lower the amount of his buyout.
“We're certainly willing to pay something, but the $4 million is absolutely oppressive and unfair,” whined Ethan Davis, another one of Fraud-riguez’s attorneys. A side note: You could probably pay off your buyout in full now if you’d stop wasting so damn much money on multiple attorneys, Rich-er. But go ahead and fight this one out, then you’ll lose and you’ll have to pay in full.
- So the State of the Union speech was Monday night and it was….um….uh….. well, it was a ginormous waste of time. I didn’t actually watch any of it because 1) I was bent that it was bumping my favorite shows from their normal time slots, 2) I don’t speak Idiot, so I wouldn’t have understood W. anyhow, and 3) that ass hat hasn’t said anything worthwhile in his seven-plus years in office, so the odds were against him doing so now. The salient points from the speech included W. begging for more money as part of the economic stimulus package now before Congress, which is basically a feeble attempt to revive an economy that W. has almost single-handedly destroyed the past seven years. He also regurgitated the party line about having patience with his own personal Vietnam, the war in Iraq, seeming for forget that a) it’s an unjustified war that never should have happened, b) we’re wasting tens of billions of dollars each month this farce rages on, and c) the longer we fight a war we shouldn’t be fighting in a place our troops shouldn’t be, the more American service personnel that will die needlessly. But other than that, sure, be patient. All in all, W. looked every bit the lame-duck president who realizes he has no real clout and that people have tuned him out. Of course, people tuned this tool out long before he entered his last year in office, so he should be used to it by now. Ultimately, the one big positive is that this is absolutely, positively the last State of the Union speech this piece of garbage will ever give, so be thankful for that.
- Just over a month ago, a reformed Led Zeppelin rocked out at a special benefit show in London. The great performance featured Jason Bonham, son of late Led Zep drummer John Bonham, on drums. The buzz from that great show led many to hope that the reunited Zep would soon be going on tour, but for the time being that’s not going to happen. Asked about the possibility of a tour of any sort, American or worldwide, Led Zep guitarist Jimmy Page said Monday in Tokyo that the band won’t be touring until September, at the earliest. For fans of rock and good music, that’s disappointing to hear, but on the bright side, at least the door hasn’t been closed completely at least. Here’s hoping that come September, Zep hits the road and we get one more chance to see one of the legendary bands of all time live.
- You definitely have to appreciate a professional sport making an effort to crack down on possible gambling and ethical issues from its officials, umpires and referees. After the Tim Donaghy betting scandal rocked the NBA last year, other leagues began scrutinizing their own officials more carefully. That much is good. What’s bad is that Major League Baseball it taking the Big Brother act waaaaaay too far. A dispute has broken out between Major League Baseball and its umpires over background checks turned ugly Wednesday, when a spokesman for the umpires union charged MLB's security investigators with acting like "secret police" in their efforts to dig into the personal histories of umpires. Lamell McMorris, a spokesman for the World Umpires Association, claims that baseball investigators have gone into neighborhood homes in recent weeks and asked offensive, defamatory questions about umpires. According to the WUA, neighbors of Greg Gibson and Sam Holbrook - MLB umpires who live in Northern Kentucky -- were asked if the two men are members of the Ku Klux Klan. Yes, that’s right, MLB wants to know if its umps are hood-wearing KKK whackos. Are you freaking kidding me? What does that have to do with anything? A, what evidence do you have to make that accusation, and two, it’s none of your damn business. “Major League Baseball's security staff is essentially defaming umpires in their communities by conducting, strange, surreptitious and poorly-executed investigations resembling that of secret police in some despotic nation,” McMorris said. Pretty much, yup. MLB is disputing these claims, but if they’re asking about the KKK, there is no dispute, they’re wrong and way, way out of line. MLB is claiming that allegations of the KKK line of questioning aren’t true, but it seems ridiculous that anyone would just make up a claim like that. In expanding on his accusations, McMorris said, the neighbors were asked if the umpires grow marijuana, throw wild parties, engage in spousal abuse or live beyond their means financially. “There was the 'Tiger issue' in a golf magazine, and we're in the middle of a presidential election where clearly race is a major factor. And now you're going to knock on a neighbor's door and ask if an umpire is a member of the Ku Klux Klan? That shows a tremendous amount of ignorance and insensitivity, frankly. And we take exception to it.” In addition, umpire John Hirschbeck said similar questions had been asked to neighbors of umpire Ron Kulpa, who lives in suburban St. Louis. Alison Rohan, who lives across the street from Kulpa in Maryland Heights, Mo., told The Associated Press that Christopher knocked on her door two or three weeks ago and gave her his card. “He explained they were going to be talking to neighbors and friends because of the problems with the basketball league and that Ron knew about it," she said. “He asked if Ron belonged to any groups or organizations,” she said. "Groups?" she remembered replying. “You know, like the KKK,” she said Christopher told her. “We both laughed and I said no,” Rohan said. “He belongs to a neighborhood Harley-riding group of dads.” To me, it looks like MLB is taking liberties here and using the ruse of concern over gambling and needing to investigate that aspect of umpire’s lives as an excuse to ask really intrusive, unnecessary, defamatory questions. The WUA and individual umpires have a right to be pissed and to take whatever action they need to in order to strike back at those responsible.
- You can look at the Florida presidential primaries in one of two ways. Either you can look at the Democratic Party’s decision to strip the state of its delegates to the Democratic National Convention and effectively render the state neutered in terms of choosing the Democratic candidate for president and say why bother paying attention to the primaries there, or you can be like me and seek out the positive. The positive in this case would be that this is one more state that will not be sending delegates to the DNC to vote for Hank Clinton. True, there won’t be Florida delegates voting for Barack Obama either, but I choose to look at it from the aspect of every delegate (or lack thereof) not voting for Hank Clinton as a win for America. On the Republican side of things, John McCain edged Catcher’s Mitt Romney, but I’m not so concerned as to which rich, old white dude the Republicans pick as I am making sure that Hank Clinton gets nowhere near the Oval Office. That dude scares the heck out of me and I don’t want Hank running/ruining the country where I live. Coming off the heels of the worst president in U.S. history, we need a stellar replacement and Hank is not that stellar replacement. I urge all of you whose states have yet to have their presidential primaries -Don’t vote for Hank Clinton. Vote for anyone else, write in a candidate if you don’t like any of the current ones, just please keep that angry feminist, militant psycho, angry-lesbian-haircut-sporting Hank out of the race.
“We're certainly willing to pay something, but the $4 million is absolutely oppressive and unfair,” whined Ethan Davis, another one of Fraud-riguez’s attorneys. A side note: You could probably pay off your buyout in full now if you’d stop wasting so damn much money on multiple attorneys, Rich-er. But go ahead and fight this one out, then you’ll lose and you’ll have to pay in full.
- So the State of the Union speech was Monday night and it was….um….uh….. well, it was a ginormous waste of time. I didn’t actually watch any of it because 1) I was bent that it was bumping my favorite shows from their normal time slots, 2) I don’t speak Idiot, so I wouldn’t have understood W. anyhow, and 3) that ass hat hasn’t said anything worthwhile in his seven-plus years in office, so the odds were against him doing so now. The salient points from the speech included W. begging for more money as part of the economic stimulus package now before Congress, which is basically a feeble attempt to revive an economy that W. has almost single-handedly destroyed the past seven years. He also regurgitated the party line about having patience with his own personal Vietnam, the war in Iraq, seeming for forget that a) it’s an unjustified war that never should have happened, b) we’re wasting tens of billions of dollars each month this farce rages on, and c) the longer we fight a war we shouldn’t be fighting in a place our troops shouldn’t be, the more American service personnel that will die needlessly. But other than that, sure, be patient. All in all, W. looked every bit the lame-duck president who realizes he has no real clout and that people have tuned him out. Of course, people tuned this tool out long before he entered his last year in office, so he should be used to it by now. Ultimately, the one big positive is that this is absolutely, positively the last State of the Union speech this piece of garbage will ever give, so be thankful for that.
- Just over a month ago, a reformed Led Zeppelin rocked out at a special benefit show in London. The great performance featured Jason Bonham, son of late Led Zep drummer John Bonham, on drums. The buzz from that great show led many to hope that the reunited Zep would soon be going on tour, but for the time being that’s not going to happen. Asked about the possibility of a tour of any sort, American or worldwide, Led Zep guitarist Jimmy Page said Monday in Tokyo that the band won’t be touring until September, at the earliest. For fans of rock and good music, that’s disappointing to hear, but on the bright side, at least the door hasn’t been closed completely at least. Here’s hoping that come September, Zep hits the road and we get one more chance to see one of the legendary bands of all time live.
- You definitely have to appreciate a professional sport making an effort to crack down on possible gambling and ethical issues from its officials, umpires and referees. After the Tim Donaghy betting scandal rocked the NBA last year, other leagues began scrutinizing their own officials more carefully. That much is good. What’s bad is that Major League Baseball it taking the Big Brother act waaaaaay too far. A dispute has broken out between Major League Baseball and its umpires over background checks turned ugly Wednesday, when a spokesman for the umpires union charged MLB's security investigators with acting like "secret police" in their efforts to dig into the personal histories of umpires. Lamell McMorris, a spokesman for the World Umpires Association, claims that baseball investigators have gone into neighborhood homes in recent weeks and asked offensive, defamatory questions about umpires. According to the WUA, neighbors of Greg Gibson and Sam Holbrook - MLB umpires who live in Northern Kentucky -- were asked if the two men are members of the Ku Klux Klan. Yes, that’s right, MLB wants to know if its umps are hood-wearing KKK whackos. Are you freaking kidding me? What does that have to do with anything? A, what evidence do you have to make that accusation, and two, it’s none of your damn business. “Major League Baseball's security staff is essentially defaming umpires in their communities by conducting, strange, surreptitious and poorly-executed investigations resembling that of secret police in some despotic nation,” McMorris said. Pretty much, yup. MLB is disputing these claims, but if they’re asking about the KKK, there is no dispute, they’re wrong and way, way out of line. MLB is claiming that allegations of the KKK line of questioning aren’t true, but it seems ridiculous that anyone would just make up a claim like that. In expanding on his accusations, McMorris said, the neighbors were asked if the umpires grow marijuana, throw wild parties, engage in spousal abuse or live beyond their means financially. “There was the 'Tiger issue' in a golf magazine, and we're in the middle of a presidential election where clearly race is a major factor. And now you're going to knock on a neighbor's door and ask if an umpire is a member of the Ku Klux Klan? That shows a tremendous amount of ignorance and insensitivity, frankly. And we take exception to it.” In addition, umpire John Hirschbeck said similar questions had been asked to neighbors of umpire Ron Kulpa, who lives in suburban St. Louis. Alison Rohan, who lives across the street from Kulpa in Maryland Heights, Mo., told The Associated Press that Christopher knocked on her door two or three weeks ago and gave her his card. “He explained they were going to be talking to neighbors and friends because of the problems with the basketball league and that Ron knew about it," she said. “He asked if Ron belonged to any groups or organizations,” she said. "Groups?" she remembered replying. “You know, like the KKK,” she said Christopher told her. “We both laughed and I said no,” Rohan said. “He belongs to a neighborhood Harley-riding group of dads.” To me, it looks like MLB is taking liberties here and using the ruse of concern over gambling and needing to investigate that aspect of umpire’s lives as an excuse to ask really intrusive, unnecessary, defamatory questions. The WUA and individual umpires have a right to be pissed and to take whatever action they need to in order to strike back at those responsible.
- You can look at the Florida presidential primaries in one of two ways. Either you can look at the Democratic Party’s decision to strip the state of its delegates to the Democratic National Convention and effectively render the state neutered in terms of choosing the Democratic candidate for president and say why bother paying attention to the primaries there, or you can be like me and seek out the positive. The positive in this case would be that this is one more state that will not be sending delegates to the DNC to vote for Hank Clinton. True, there won’t be Florida delegates voting for Barack Obama either, but I choose to look at it from the aspect of every delegate (or lack thereof) not voting for Hank Clinton as a win for America. On the Republican side of things, John McCain edged Catcher’s Mitt Romney, but I’m not so concerned as to which rich, old white dude the Republicans pick as I am making sure that Hank Clinton gets nowhere near the Oval Office. That dude scares the heck out of me and I don’t want Hank running/ruining the country where I live. Coming off the heels of the worst president in U.S. history, we need a stellar replacement and Hank is not that stellar replacement. I urge all of you whose states have yet to have their presidential primaries -Don’t vote for Hank Clinton. Vote for anyone else, write in a candidate if you don’t like any of the current ones, just please keep that angry feminist, militant psycho, angry-lesbian-haircut-sporting Hank out of the race.
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