- There
is no boxing in Andrew WK. The head-banging,
hair-whipping rocker is all about busting stereotypes of what a metal head is
about. He’s been a keynote speaker at a My Little Pony convention and for many,
that would be enough to shatter the mold. But not content with smashing just
one wall, Mr. WK has now forged a new direction by organizing his own political
party. As one would expect from a guy whose one and only hit is “Party Hard,”
this political party is organized around one and only one theme partying.
That might seem like a joke, but no more of a joke than Donald Trump, so let’s
not dismiss it. The purpose, according to Andrew WK, is speaking out against the establishment parties of American politics,
piggybacking on Bernie Sanders’ message of social equality and becoming what
the rocker has deemed a “third voice” in the system. He has dubbed his new
endeavor “The Party Party” and while its name is redundant, Andrew WK believes
its purpose is not. In a video on his new website for the party, he describes
the venture as an “an all-inclusive alternative to the traditional two-party
model" for which he has allegedly “filed the relevant paperwork with the
secretary of state.” What’s funny is that state rules no longer require
signatures to form a party, the website claims the organization has already
gained the required signatures to register as a political party. “The Party
Party is simple in its mission: To free the American people from the
dysfunction that is our two party system,” the site boringly promises.
Whatever, bros. Where is the damn keg and when does the f*cking party
start………..
- Oh,
how mighty the leaders of the far-flung Falkland
Islands are feeling right now. Lawmakers in the disputed island chain are
swinging a big, brass pair right now and proved it by rejecting a U.N.
commission's determination that the archipelago would come within Argentina's
maritime territory. The battle over the islands stretches back decades, so it
was a provocative action when the U.N. commission on the limits of the
continental shelf sided with Argentina this week in a dispute with Great
Britain. Much to the chagrin of national legislators, the commission ratified a
2009 Argentine report that fixed the limit of its territory at 200 to 350 miles
from its coast. That infuriated people like Mike Summers, who is one of the
local legislative assembly members that govern the British Overseas Territory.
According to Summers, the decision "has no effect for the sovereign
position of the Falklands." For those who need a history lesson, back in
1982, Argentina invaded and was then routed by British troops. Today marks the
anniversary of the war and in the time since then, both islanders and the
British government have rejected Argentina's claims strenuously and regularly.
Having the U.N., which has neither the muscle to enforce its position nor much
respect among those it’s consistently trying to police with paperwork and stern
facial expressions, weigh in isn't going to change anyone’s point of view on
this or convince either side in this dispute to back down and concede so much
as an inch of territory to their opponents……...
- New
Georgia Bulldogs coach Kirby Smart needs to get over himself and his middling
SEC football program. Smart, who has yet to coach a single game at Georgia, is
trying to position himself as a hardass/badass when it comes to unhappy players
transferring from Georgia to other schools. It all stems from his decision to
place transfer restrictions on running back A.J. Turman, whose transfer was
announced in mid-March. According to Turman, he was only allowed to transfer to
schools in his home state of Florida -- but not the Florida Gators or Miami
Hurricanes. That’s due in part to the fact that former Georgia coach Mark Richt
is now the head coach at Miami, while Florida is one of Georgia’s top rivals in
the thoroughly mediocre SEC Eastern Division. Smart not only laid down arcane,
overbearing restrictions on Turman, but later revised his original
restrictions, allowing Turman to transfer to schools outside of the state of
Florida -- except Georgia Tech and other SEC schools, along with Florida and
Miami. Now, Smart is stupidly trying to defend his draconian measures. "I
wanted to set the precedent for the future that kids would not be able to go to
Miami right away," Smart said. "It's very important that we
understand that, and that's pretty much standard operating procedure when a
coach leaves one place, that a kid can't go there with the coach. That's
important to me that people understand that." Dude, you’re running a
college football program, not a bioengineering firm with top-secret government
contracts that can’t afford to let state secrets go free if someone changes
employers. Stop acting like a college student going to a different school is
some sort of serious crime that you need to police……….
- Mooove,
bitch….get out the slaughterhouse. A cow on the loose is nothing new in the
area around Queens, New York, but it still inspires a reaction from the
students and staff of York College. The small school,
located on Liberty Avenue and 160th in Jamaica, Queens, was the scene of a
great bovine escape this week, where a runaway cow broke free from a
slaughterhouse and decided to go to a place where a lot of people go when they
finally get a taste of freedom: a college campus. The cow romped its way onto a
grassy knoll on campus around 10 a.m., prompting locals and students alike to
stop what they were doing, reach for their smartphones and
Snapchat/Vine/Instagram/tweet our blurry, grainy videos and images of the
frolicking cow. Sadly, most smartphone cameras simply aren't high quality
enough to capture top-notch rogue cow video, but that didn’t stop people
hopping off a train at the nearest train stop or students on their way to class
from enjoying the show. It didn’t take long for police to arrive and subdue the
cow, although some onlookers were miffed that it took an hour to deal with the
problem. Others lamented the fact that slaughterhouse workers were lax enough
in their security to allow the escape to happen in the first place. It’s
happened before, so those critics may have a point. Given that cows can't jump
or climb, a solid fence might do the trick, but that would deprive local vegetarians
of bold, hooved heroes to admire as those heroes try to flee certain death and
eventual presence on a dinner plate in search of extending their sad,
small-brained lives for a short while…….
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