- Thanks
for proving all of the condescending stereotypes about you, glorified 13th
graders at McLennan Community College in Waco,
Texas. You all just confirmed that community college students, by and large,
are the rejects who couldn’t get into a real school by (allegedly) stealing 60
pounds of dinosaur bones near a Utah quarry during an educational trip. The
quintet of Philip Bukowski, Paige Bukowski, Collin Kubacak, Travis York and
Crystal Webster have been charged with taking the bones when they snuck away
from a sanctioned dig last May and pried a dinosaur limb and other fragments
from a desert landscape that contains a treasure trove of bones that are
millions of years old. They stole $2,500 worth of bones, but what are the
chances these amateur ass hats had the connections or criminal knowledge to
move them once they heisted them? "They just happened to find them and
took them home inappropriately," said Daniel Burton, a spokesman for the
Utah attorney general. "There are statutes specifically there to protect
the land, so you cannot do this kind of thing." Investigators seized the
stolen bones and returned them to Utah after they were taken from an area near
Hanksville-Burpee Dinosaur Quarry, about 230 miles south of Salt Lake City.
They hit the suspects with charges of theft and trespassing counts. Their theft
came from a quarry containing hundreds
of fossils from the Jurassic Period that date back as much as 150 million years,
including the long-high-school institution of slightly higher learning,
idiots…….
- Much
like an employee who knows their days with a company are numbered and can't be
bothered to put in any extra effort as time winds down on their gig, the
grounds crew and powers that be at Turner Field are (allegedly) mailing in the
Atlanta Braves’ final season in the former Olympic venue. According to sources,
Braves players are considering contacting the players' union to see if they can
compel the club to improve the playing surface, believing the field is not
being treated with the same meticulous care as in the past because it is the
last season of baseball at the venue. The players claim the problem areas are
the uneven grass and the unpredictable area where the turf meets the infield
dirt and the theory is that the home team took a hit in the opening homestand
of the season when shortstop Erick Aybar, a Gold Glove winner in 2011, made two
errors in the first four home games. In an April 9 contest, the Braves and
Cardinals combined to make six miscues and after a recent series in Atlanta,
the Los Angeles Dodgers sounded off as well. "This is a tough
infield," Dodgers manager Dave Roberts said. "You look at Dodger
Stadium versus this field, and this field, the guys talk about it around the
league that it is not the best infield as far as playing." Dodgers second
baseman Chase Utley observed that “the field has changed a little bit over the
years,” which is a nice way of saying it’s a goat track out there and someone
needs to do something about it before a player blows his knee out and wrecks
his career based on whatever reason the Braves give for not breaking out basic
lawn care equipment with a little more regularity……..
- While
other countries get way too demanding about what they’re called and how it’s
pronounced, it’s nice to see a country that doesn’t give a damn. Myanmar is a
country in turmoil, with a new government moving in and a contentious history
highlighted by Aung San Suu Kyi, the government's
de facto leader in the specially created post of state counselor. She spent
most of her adult life under house arrest simply for demanding that she be
allowed to hold an elected office to which she was voted and since her release,
she has fought to help the country make the leap to fair, democratic
government. She cares about that issue, but what she doesn’t give a damn about
is whether foreign diplomats call her country Myanmar, or its old name, Burma.
Suu Kyi laid out her position in a speech to the foreign diplomatic corps and
as the Burmese foreign minister, her word carries a lot of weight. Ironically,
democracy supporters in Burma balked when the then-ruling military in 1989 renamed
the country Myanmar and the ever-pissy military was in turn snippy when
activists and their supporters abroad — including many Western governments —
insisted on sticking with the old name. As Suu Kyi sees it, it’s up to the
diplomats what name to use because the constitution doesn't mandate either name
and given how contentious the topic has been in recent years, this is a nice
departure from the norm………
- Hope
Axl Rose is pumped to have beat out some random tribute band singer to fill in
as the temporary frontman of iconic rock outfit AC/DC. Fat-sel is currently
fronting AC/DC as they tour the United States, but according to AC/DC covers band Thunderstruck
lead singer Lee Robinson, the job was nearly his before it went to the cherubic
leader of on-again, off-again Guns ‘N Roses. Robinson claims AC/DC brought him
in for an audition when they were seeking a short-term frontman after
long-time singer Brian Johnson was advised by doctors to quit touring lest he
sustain complete hearing loss. Thunderstruck actually has its own website,
which claims the knock-off rockers "offer the most complete and authentic
reproduction of AC/DC’s sound and stage performance in North Carolina and
beyond.” If you believe Robinson’s tale, the band flew him into Atlanta in
March to audition for them, where bassist Cliff Williams allegedly said the
band found out about the tribute act after stumbling upon YouTube clips of
their performances. Amazingly, despite singing someone else’s songs on the
regular, he didn’t know all the word to the songs and was allowed to use a
teleprompter that Johnson had to remember lyrics. "When I heard that, I
pretty much passed out. I didn’t have to worry about forgetting the lyrics
anymore," he said. "Once they
started playing I was just excited and was just standing there like what the
hell. I'm playing with AC/DC. Stevie [Young, guitarist] said, ‘Hell yeah,
that’s the right way to do it,’ when I asked if we could do the audition in
standard. But that’s the only way I know how to sing it." Young allegedly
told Robinson he has “a helluva voice,” but in the end, a portly, egomaniacal
and more accomplished lead singer took the job and ran - er, strolled slowly
with it……..
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