Williamsburg hipsters get another edge, Marvel gets another Netflix show and MLB steroid strife

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- After yet another Major league Baseball player tried to spin his suspension for testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs by saying he never “knowingly” took anything illegal, at least one of his peers has had enough. In the aftermath of an 80-game suspension for Miami's Dee Gordon, Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander lit up those he believes are polluting the game and ruining its integrity by ‘roiding up. "I think the players, mostly, we're all together. We want a clean game," Verlander said. "And us and the players association have pushed to where it is now. I think a lot of people will think the other way around. No, it's the players pushing. We've pushed the system to where it's at. And we still want it to be [better]. I mean, we have the best testing system in the world right now. Is it good enough? No." Verlander believes there should be both more frequent testing and stiffer penalties for performance-enhancing drug use and is opposed to players who test positive for PEDs shouldn't play. "You shouldn't be allowed to [affect] games while appealing," he posted on his official Twitter account. He later conceded that the quality of testing in MLB is already "as good as it gets," but wants more frequent testing. Verlander also knows that the cheaters will always be one step ahead of the law.  "The problem is the quality of the stuff guys are taking is better than the quality of our tests. They're always a step ahead," Verlander said. "But I think more [testing] and harsher penalties. He didn’t say whether he wants something as extreme as a full-season ban for a first positive test, but pushing through stiffer penalties would be a real fight for MLB………

- It’s the kind of tragic story that could only come from a Third World nation where poverty is so extreme that people literally scavenge garbage dumps as a way of earning a living. It comes to us from Guatemala City, Guatemala, where authorities say that 24 people are listed as missing two days after a massive slope of trash collapsed, killing at least four people. The state of this dump is one common to so many impoverished nations, with many people working informally as garbage pickers. Only a small number of workers were officially registered as present when the collapse occurred, leaving many more potential casualties and injuries among those who rummage through the hot, smelly trash looking for recyclable materials to sell.  About 1,200 registered garbage pickers work at the massive dump, but estimating the number of people who work there unofficially is virtually impossible. City spokesman Carlos Sandoval said that "of the missing people, seven are registered" as garbage pickers, but he couldn’t say much about those who were working without permission at the dump. Hundreds of rescuers are still picking through the garbage dump looking for survivors or bodies in a truly horrific scene in which it’s literally not a joke that the smell of dead bodies will be difficult to pick out amidst the thousands of other foul odors wafting through the air. Such scenes would never happened in world powers where garbage dumps are typically avoided at all costs by anyone who doesn’t have to work there, but that doesn’t mean the developed world should turn a blind eye to this……..

- “Daredevil” has been a huge success for Netflix, which obviously means it’s time for a sequel, prequel or spin-off, right? Of course. The popular streaming service is continuing its partnership with Marvel, ordering of a series based on a previous star of “Daredevil” Season 2, The Punisher. Jon Bernthal played the character in “Daredevil” and is expected to reprise his role for the new series, which will see Steve Lightfoot (Hannibal) act as the show runner. The Punisher, a.k.a. Frank Castle, is a popular antihero who made his Marvel Comics debut in 1974 and has previously been played by actors including Dolph Lundgren, Thomas Jane and Ray Stevenson. The whole antihero push picked up a ton of steam with the “Deadpool” success story earlier this year and Marvel is likewise gaining plenty of steam with Netflix. When “The Punisher” makes his debut, it will be the sixth Marvel adaptation that's been put together for the platform, following the path walked by Daredevil, Jessica Jones and the still-to-be-launched Luke Cage, Iron Fist and The Defenders. At this point, if there is a character in the Marvel universe who has yet to get their story made into its own Netflix series or a movie/show on another platform or by a movie studio, then clearly that character is a colossal failure who lacks the sizzle and charisma necessary to make the jump from the pages of a comic book onto the big screen. This also proves that Netflix users will never have a shortage of shows in which they can see people kicking ass and busting skulls………

- Williamsburg hipsters, you can now tout your beloved neighborhood as having one more thing that the rest of the world doesn’t have. Unfortunately for all of you and your skinny jeans and fitted flannel shirts, what you now have is one of the unhealthiest culinary creations to come out of an oven in a long time. It’s courtesy of Vinnie's Pizzeria at 148 Bedford Ave. in Williamsburg, which announced something called “The Pizza Box Pizza” on Twitter this week. Just as it sounds like, this calorie-laden, greasy creation is a pizza box made 100 percent of pizza and it’s available in just one place - until some national pizza chain co-opts the idea and doubles the price while calling it their original idea. "No waste, 100% pizza and 100% delicious," the pizza parlor wrote on its Twitter feed. Owner Sean Berthiaume came up with this revolutionary idea one day when business was a little slow right before the lunch rush. He was bored out of his band and decided to do a little experimenting in the kitchen. He combined that with a truly eco-friendly, hipster-ish irritation with people eating their pizza out of a cheap, greasy cardboard box and then throwing the box away. Then inspiration met innovation and bam, an edible box literally made of pizza. The good news is that anyone who orders the Pizza Box Pizza will get more food and won't have to worry about creating more waste. The bad news is that this overpriced monstrosity will cost people $40 and in order to have it delivered, one will have to put a poor, underpaid delivery guy through an arduous process so vexing that Berthiaume prefers customers ordering the Pizza Box Pizza pick it up at the store. Score one for American obesity……..

More Hollywood whitewashing alleged, Hoosier justice shoots wildly and Spanish bullfighting daddy drama

- It’s a Spanish soap opera, played out within the context of one of the country’s most popular and controversial sports. Think of it as a hybrid of Maury Povich and matador flair, centering on a decades-old paternity dispute over whether two of Spain*s most well-known bullfighters — men who share the same show name "El Cordobes" — are really father and son. At the core of the drama are retired bullfighting legend Manuel Benitez, 79, and a man named Manuel Diaz. Diaz claims he's the son of this legend and possible deadbeat dad, but it’s a fact Benitez has never recognized. In an effort to prove his case, Diaz sought and was granted a court-ordered DNA test that, according to his lawyer, proved 99.9 percent positive. The case has entranced many Spaniards, who have long been convinced that the two men are related given their striking physical similarities. Benitez is quite the proficient procreator, as he has five other children, including another bullfighter son, Julio, who is also known as "El Cordobes." What it would hurt him to own the fact that a 47-year-old man is also his son is unclear, but that’s the decision before the southern Cordoba city court, which is now studying the evidence and arguments in the case and is expected to rule next week. Diaz's lawyer Fernando Osuna says the case is mere formality given the results of the DNA test, something that all of the unexpected fathers who have appeared on “The Maury Povich Show” over the years only to be hit between the eyes with the news that they ARE THE FATHER know all too well………

- If your team has sucked for a decade and you decide to make a shameless cash grab, er, try to launch a new era of pride by changing your logo so you can sell more merch, the least you can do is peel off a few thousand dollars to let fans ink that new logo on their bodies. No credit for you, Sacramento Kings, because your ploy to roll out a new logo and pay for a limited number of people to get tattoos of the new look isn't that commendable. The one-day offer was good only at five local tattoo parlors in the city and given that most of individuals who got the new logo tattooed on their body did so on a small scale, it’s not as if these were high-end, über-expensive projects. Kings public address announcer was out to document the day and posted video of fans lining up to get their Kings tattoos, but the fact that this was a first-come, first-served deal was bogus. The Kings have missed the playoffs the past 10 seasons, just fired another coach and don’t figure to be contenders any time soon, so they really should pay for as many tattoos as fans want to get for as long as they get them - whether those tattoos are Kings logos, religious symbols, the name of a girlfriend or loved one, a picture of their pet or anything else. Fans who got the new logo inked on their body were asked to tweet the results with the hashtag #NewEraOfProud and some even got advance notice from the team because the Kings knew they both loved tattoos and were loyal season ticket holders. This publicity stunt coincides with the Kings' opening a new arena in downtown Sacramento, ironically named the Golden 1 Center given the fact that the Kings have never won an NBA title and won't be any time soon……..

- Hoosier justice can land a person in legal trouble. For homeowner David McLaughlin, it’s a potentially expensive proposition and one he’s facing for an incident two years ago in which he shot a burglar who had just broken into his home. When the alarm on McLaughlin’s detached garage went off, he ran out toward the garage and spotted a man running away from the building. Being a good, Second Amendment-loving American, he had his gun handy and fired at the suspect, shooting him once along a dirt alleyway in the small town of Dunkirk. The shooting may have seemed like a clear-cut case of a homeowner protecting his house, but a jury later convicted McLaughlin of criminal recklessness. It was a double-dip for the criminal justice system as the accused thief, David Bailey, pleaded guilty to burglary. At that point, it appeared the case was over and both men had been meted out the appropriate justice, but the wronged criminal has no statute of limitations on his hurt and so now, two years after the shooting, Bailey has filed a civil suit claiming McLaughlin acted recklessly in firing the gunshots. Not surprisingly, McLaughlin’s attorney disagrees.  “My client thinks it’s outrageous and I tend to agree,” attorney Brian Pierce said. “You don’t ordinarily expect someone to burglarize you  and turn around and sue you for damages.” The complaint alleges that, “As the plaintiff (Bailey) was running down the alley away from defendant's residence, the defendant (McLaughlin) continued to the public right-of-way (and off his property) and continued firing his weapon down the dark alley.” Those alleged three shots, one of which struck Bailey in the back of the arm as he ran away, are tagged with claims that McLaughlin told neighbors he “had no idea what he was firing at.” As Pierce sees it, his client was merely defending his property and this whole case will soon evaporate……..

- This week’s battle over Hollywood casting a white actor in a non-white role comes to us courtesy of Marvel and talented actress Tilda Swinton, who is under fire for her casing as a character known as the Ancient One in the upcoming film “Doctor Strange.” Marvel is under fire for the choice from critics who  accused the company of being the latest example of Hollywood’s racism in role choices by selecting a white actress for the role of a character that's Tibetan in the film's source material.  “Marvel has a very strong record of diversity in its casting of films and regularly departs from stereotypes and source material to bring its MCU [Marvel cinematic universe] to life,” the studio said in a statement. “The Ancient One is a title that is not exclusively held by any one character, but rather a moniker passed down through time, and in this particular film the embodiment is Celtic. We are very proud to have the enormously talented Tilda Swinton portray this unique and complex character alongside our richly diverse cast.” Swinton previously addressed the situation with the same response, saying she “wasn't asked to play an Asian character” and that the character is not by its nature Asian. That sounds like some grade-A Hollywood spin-job bullsh*t, but co-writer C. Robert Cargill is backing everyone involved, saying that “The Ancient One was a racist stereotype who comes from a region of the world that is in a very weird political place.” That weird place is Tibet-China relations, which are über-strained and by his thinking, if a Tibetan character were cast, it would offend China and therefore ruin the film’s chances in one of the biggest film-watching countries in the world. In other words, #HOLLYWOODWHITEWASHING……….

MLB rule whining, Lebanese rock bands v. The Man and Subway's Shirtless Sandwich Hour

- If Subway is going to jack up the prices of all of its subs and make what was once a $5 footlong a $6 slap in the face of its customers, maybe this is the kind of show it should put on behind that 20-foot sneeze guard sheet of plastic it calls a counter. The scene was a Festus, Missouri Subway eatery and the show in question was put on by what the sandwich chain is calling a former employee acting without authorization. Those visiting the  Subway on Gannon Drive ran into a shirtless man dancing and making sandwiches behind the counter, but this wasn’t an idiot who showed up for work drunk or high and did something to get himself fired from a job that it should be virtually impossible to lose. Several photos and a video from customers concerned about the man’s behavior and the obvious health code violations posed by his actions drew attention to the situation, yet Festus police did not receive any complaints on the incident. Apparently some out-of-shape, no-shirt kook who was either fired and looking for payback or quit but always regretted never holding Shirtless Sando Hour when he was on the job was able to gain access to the very secure area behind the counter and do his worst. "The person behind the counter that appears in the video is not a current subway sandwich shop employee and was not authorized to go behind the counter,” Subway said in a statement. The former employee left the shop before further action could be taken. We apologize to our guests for this unusual occurrence." Apologize? You need to cash in on this and turn this freak into the sort of distraction to make people forget how overpriced your food is……….

- Bizarre musical pairings can produce masterpieces….or they can be utter disasters. It’s too soon to say what will happen when Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and Outkast leading man Andre 3000 team up in the studio, but both mean are odd artists with distinctive styles, so at a minimum is should be bizarre and an amusing train wreck. Barker started the conversation when he shared an image of himself with the Outkast rapper on Instagram over the weekend. The duo were hanging together at Coachella and Barker captioned the picture: "Gonna make music very soon with this legend." It was the perfect piece of social media gossip fodder because no one is sure what this music will look like or whether it will be a part of some larger project. The prevailing theory is that Andre 3000 is working on a solo album, with comedian Chris Rock recently claiming he and Jack White will both feature on it, meaning Barker would definitely not be the most unlikely contributor if that’s what he’s going to be doing. Barker is a busy guy at this point, making music as a solo artist while also cranking out a bastardized version of music with what used to be Blink-182 and is now just a hack version of the formerly awesome pop-punk rockers fronted by a dude from another band because Tom DeLonge and his former bandmates could no longer get along. Perhaps is Andre 3000 has some spare time once his album is done, he can step in for new Blink frontman Matt Skiba and further dilute what was once an amazing, badass punk outfit……..

- Rage against the machine, obscure Lebanese rockers Mashrou' Leila ("Night Project"), rage against the damn machine. For those who don’t know, Mashrou' Leila are actually one of the more popular Lebanese rock bands - not a crowded field - and they are fighting an uphill battle against Jordanian authorities, whom they accuse of banning them from performing because their songs promote religious and sexual freedom. Jordan's Antiquities Department initially told the band it could not perform at a Roman Theater in the capital Amman because the show contradicts the venue's "authenticity,” but protecting the integrity of an inanimate object is a dubious motivation for forcing a band to pull the plug on a gig. The government doesn’t even seem to be on the same page here because Amman governor Khalid Abu Zeid later said that the group was banned because its songs "contradict" religious beliefs. It could be a real black eye for Western ally Jordan, which likes to position itself as an island of tolerance in a region where fundamentalist Islam is on the rise. This decision is all the more curious because the band has performed three times before at the Roman Theater, but what could possibly be the reason to decide that their songs are socially and culturally unacceptable now? Guitarist Firas Abou Fakher says the group has become "large enough" to make it a target for political attacks, which would make a hell of a lot of sense based on how governments work, but not a lick of sense when it comes to the fundamentals of logic or reason……….

- Troubled coaches and players around the NBA aren't the only ones b*tching about potential rule changes they believe would make their sport better. Major League Baseball has its own whiners and one of them manages one of the most expensive teams in the league. That would be New York Yankees manager Joe Girardi, who would like to ban to exaggerated shifts defenses play to shut down opposing hitters they know will often put the ball in play to one specific side of the field. "It is an illegal defense, like basketball," Girardi said, alluding to certain defensive rules in the Association. "Guard your man, guard your spot. If I were commissioner, they would be illegal." In other words, glue your feet to one predetermined spot on the field and stay there. Ironically, this guy played the shift earlier this week and it cost Yankee starter Nathan Eovaldi a no-hitter in the seventh inning on a ground ball that went through the area where the shortstop traditionally plays. Maybe Girardi is feeling a bit guilty about costing his pitcher a chance at history, but he’s also not going to stand on some high moral ground and try to enact change either. "As long as it is legal, I'm going to play it," he said of the shift even though he feels the strategy takes away from the original intent of the setup of baseball. "I just think the field was built this way for a reason, with two on one side and two on the other," Girardi said. Commissioner Rob Manfred came into office two years ago talking boldly about banning the shift, but he has since backpedaled from those remarks and appears poised to the precisely nothing about the issue………

Elderly city council meeting fight clubs, Disney quits on originality and flipping off Detroit's MLB faithful

- Very few sports fans are paying attention to Major League Baseball right now. The NFL draft is coming up this weekend, the NBA playoffs are in full swing and unless something really unusual happens in baseball, MLB isn't grabbing much of the sports spotlight. For better or worse, Detroit Tigers outfielder Tyler Collins was that something unusual during his team’s 7-3 win over the Oakland Athletics. Collins, a young outfielder with a lot to learn on and off the field, lost Marcus Semien's fly ball in the lights and when it dropped, the crowd booed him lustily. An error was also assessed to left fielder Justin Upton when the ball dropped for a double, but the boos were clearly meant for Collins and he knew it. He elected to respond by extending his middle finger to the crowd. He wasn’t bashful about it, but by the time the game ended and his manager and teammates had the chance to talk to him, Collins was telling a different tale. "To hear boos after that play hit a trigger inside of me and I lashed out, completely inappropriately," Collins said. "I'm absolutely embarrassed, and I'm very sorry to everyone in Detroit." Detroit is already suffering enough, with its NBA and NHL teams bounced in the first round of their respective playoffs and by virtue of being a bankrupt, downtrodden hell hole of a city on the constant verge of fiscal collapse, so having one of its own athletes flip the bird to an entire ballpark doesn’t really help. "I just wanted you guys to understand that I love this team and I want to win, so when we come home and get booed, it's tough to swallow, but like I said, I apologize completely," Collins said. It’s a long season, Ty, so learn how to deal with your anger and find a way to redeem yourself on the field………..

- Many people have suffered intense pain at the hands of their dentist. Very few people get the satisfaction of seeing their dentist thrown in prison for inflicting that pain, but a very relieved set of Frenchmen received that happy feeling when a French court found a Dutch dentist guilty of assault and fraud and sentenced him to eight years in prison. Jacobus Van Nierop is clearly a troubled, weird dude, as evidenced by his total lack of emotion when the court in the central town of Nevers returned its verdict. He was convicted of 85 counts of assault, including 45 counts of mutilation, and of 61 counts of fraud against patients, their health insurance companies and the local social security agency after he committed a litany of evil acts of dentistry from 2009 to 2012, including having multiple healthy teeth removed, leaving drills bits in patients’ gums and teeth, abscesses, recurrent infections and misshapen mouths after he did work on patients. Nearly 100 plaintiffs filed complaints against Van Nierop, who was accurately dubbed the "horror dentist" by the French media. As part of the ruling, the judges banned this kook from practicing dentistry for life, although he was actually acquitted of six counts of assault and some counts of fraud. For someone who overcharged patients and billed them for imaginary procedures, a fine of 10,500 euros ($12,000) and to-be-determined  damages due to 62 plaintiffs is actually getting off easy. Van Nierop may have 10 days to file an appeal, but at this point he may just want to absorb the karma that’s coming his way………..

- What’s coming down the pipeline from Disney, other than as many Star Wars movie as it can possibly crank out? More sequels, of course. The studio has confirmed that it will release a sequel to its live-action version of “The Jungle Book,” a decision that was clearly in the works long before the film debuted earlier this year at the box office to solid results. According to Disney, director Jon Favreau will return for the second movie alongside writer Justin Marks. The live-action movie is of course a remake of an animated classic, which in turns is ripped directly from Rudyard Kipling's children's book, making this second movie the sequel of a remake of an adaptation of an original story. In other words, about the least original thing imaginable, which also makes it perfect for Disney and Hollywood right now. The first Favreau-led movie features the vocal talents of Idris Elba, Ben Kingsley, Scarlett Johnson and other big names, which helped give the project a major boost both in the United States and internationally. The only human to actually appear on screen is Neel Sethi, who plays Mowgli, although the studio didn’t say if that will also be the case for the sequel. Not only is Disney doing a sequel for “Jungle Book,” but it also revealed several more projects that are in the pipeline including two more sequels: a “Maleficent” sequel starring Angelina Jolie and a “Mary Poppins” sequel featuring Emily Blunt. Mix in a “101 Dalmatians” spin-off, titled “Cruella,” and Disney may have very literally run out of or given up on original ideas………

- If all city council meetings were this awesome, then a hell of a lot more people would attend city council meetings. Alexander City, Alabama is the sort of place most people never go and quickly forget if they pass through, but those people are missing out on the treasures that are Mayor Charles Raford Shaw, his wife Laverne Jackson Shaw and councilman Tony Goss. The mayor and his wife, who are 71 and 72 years old by the way, were both charged with assault third degree and released on $1,000 bond for their roles in a meeting room brawl with Goss. According to council president Bob Howard, animosity because the mayor and Goss had been mounting for the past several years and as so often happens when building drama boils over, this one exploded because of money. According to other members of the council, the two men were on opposing sides of the battle when an audit firm was brought into the meeting to discuss bringing financial audits up to date. Howard, sensing that sh*t was about to go off, adjourned the meeting because it turned into a shouting match. He made the mistake of thinking the mayor left the room, but the loud sound of two grown men throwing hands suggested otherwise and Howard looked up to see the two men in a physical altercation. Sadly, others in the room rushed to separate the two men rather than allow these two out-of-shape, over-the-hill wind bags to wear themselves out after a few errant slap-punches and wildly inaccurate kicks. There are  reports that the mayor punched Goss, prompting Howard to call the incident “uncalled for” and “unprofessional.” “We need to be working together in a positive energy rather than bringing attention to ourselves in this way,” he said. Shaw and his wife turned themselves in to the Tallapoosa County Sheriff's Department to face the consequences of their actions, but anyone lining up to hate on them needs to check themselves and realize that a lot more people are interested in the economics of Alexander City than they were before these two governmental gladiators did battle………

Sam Bradford forgets who he is, Baz Luhrmann + Nas and an idiot in a bubble tries to run across the Caribbean

- Why does no one understand the idea of a strike anymore? In order to wield maximum clout, a work stoppage must be long enough to affect significant damage, it must of an amount of time that those striking do not disclose to the powers that be in order to have proper leverage and it must always have a specter of violence or anger lurking just overhead. The strike going on today by France's six rail unions fits none of those criteria and that’s why it’s going nowhere fast. The unions are engaged in a one-day strike disrupting local and national train traffic, but not international lines. In other words, its scope is limited and the authorities know that all they need to do is grind through one day of discomfort - one for which they could plan and prepare - and then it’s back to business. State railway company SNCF warned travelers that only half of the local trains in the Paris region and half of the TGV high-speed trains would run on Tuesday, but the Paris Metro subway system is not affected by the strike and two of the major routes running in and out of France, the Eurostar train line to London and the Thalys trains to Belgium, haven't been affected by the strike. Maybe the unions want to spin this as a warning shot, a light blow to hint at what could be in store if the rail line doesn’t capitulate to their demands and alter or drop its plan to change working hours and rules about days off. Honestly though, it feels like a weak-ass ploy by a group that doesn’t know how to properly conduct a quality strike……….

- Naz and Baz Luhrmann: a natural pairing in the entertainment world, no? It made so much sense that the outspoken rapper and accomplished director are teaming up for Luhrmann's forthcoming Netflix show “The Get Down,” about the birth of hip-hop in New York. It actually does make a ton of sense for both men and Luhrmann revealed the collaboration during a panel at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York City. He’s no stranger to music and is perhaps best-known for his production of “Moulin Rouge.” Luhrmann described Nas "one of the most iconic voices of the 1990s” and sounds genuinely fired up to work with him. “One of the great collaborations is that I’ve been working really closely in creating these rhymes, and he’s a producer on the film, with one of the most iconic voices of the 1990s and that’s Nas,” Luhrmann said. “And so Nas has been this other huge creative force in the production. And it’s been playing really, really successfully. One of the things which I don’t think anyone knows, because it’s not in the trailers — and we’ve been doing this for about a year now — is that one of the characters goes on and we discover that he’s actually a successful rap star in the 1990s, and he narrates it through rhyme, through rap.” The project itself should be very interesting if done well, as “Get Down” will feature Will Smith’s son Jaden and its story will detail the very beginnings of hip-hop at the height of the disco craze in the 1970s. Anything involving the existence of the disco era has the strong potential for disaster, but Luhrmann has the chops to handle this one…….. 

- And people wonder why the United States government struggles so much to cut costs and stop deepening its national debt. While it may not solve the entire $20 trillion debt, it clearly isn't helping anyone’s bottom line when a government agency or branch of the military is spending a lot of money and manpower rescuing a moron whose attempt to propel himself into the Guinness Book of World Records inspires him to make a second ill-fated attempt to "run" from Florida to Bermuda in an inflatable bubble. The ass hat in question is ultra-marathoner Reza Baluchi, who blew right through the Coast Guard’s order not to depart "because your vessels and the conditions under which you are attempting to complete your voyage to Bermuda is unsafe," heading out to sea for a second time only to be towed him back to land for the second time. Baluchi had intended to be at sea for five months, allegedly to “raise money for children in need and to inspire those that have lost hope for a better future," but mostly to gain attention for himself. He wrote on his website that he had secured a support boat to lead him into international waters and that he intended to depart from Pompano Beach, Florida, which he clearly did, only to end up voluntarily calling off his voyage. The Coast Guard lit him up on Twitter, writing that he had flouted its safety orders and wasting its time and resources. The agency tweeted that Baluchi's voyage had ended "after he violated a USCG order not to embark, the same thing that happened in 2014, when the Coast Guard rescued him after receiving a report about a disoriented man in a bubble off the coast of Miami who was asking for directions to Bermuda. Given that his 2014 rescue cost $144,000, maybe it’s time for the government to bill him for his stupidity for each successive attempt……..

- It’s time for Sam Bradford to remember that he’s Sam Bradford. In other words, the guy who has never started an entire season for any NFL team, has 78 career touchdown passes against 52 interceptions and couldn’t stay healthy if football were played in Jell-O and its players were wrapped in bubble wrap. Bradford was acceptably decent last year in his first season for the Philadelphia Eagles, throwing 19 touchdowns and 14 picks, but didn’t do enough to convince anyone that he’s the long-term answer at quarterback. With a new head coach in charge and the franchise in need of a reboot, the front office acquired the No. 2 overall pick from the Cleveland Browns last Thursday in a blockbuster trade, using draft picks acquired in two previous trades, and it’s a virtual certainty that the Eagles will draft a quarterback with the second pick. Knowing that his successor is about to be drafted this weekend, Bradford is acting like he’s much better and more important than he is, telling the team that he  wants to be traded and will not be showing up for their offseason program any longer. Sources claim that he’s angry and wants to show that he’s the best choice for the Eagles, but not showing up for work is kind of a curious way to do that. The team is trying to act like it still gives a damn about Sam, with executive vice president of football operations Howie Roseman saying Monday that he wanted "to reiterate our support for Sam Bradford and go back to our statements last week -- that Sam is our starting quarterback.” Roseman tried to further spin his comments and cushion to blow to Bradford’s ego by saying that the “workouts are voluntary” and that the team “looks forward to seeing Sam again in the near future." Oh, they’ll see him. They’ll see him pouting on the sidelines the next time the team holds mandatory activities and they’ll see him on the field for short stints this season before he either gets injured or is simply so mediocre that either Carson Wentz or Jared Goff comes off the sideline to replace him as a last-ditch effort to salvage yet another forgettable season for a team that has never won a Super Bowl and doesn’t seem likely to break that drought any time soon…….

NHL v. IOC, recovering monkeys frm hookers and HBO renews "Game of Thrones"

- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Another day, another instance or rage by a disrespected populace against its unjust government and this one comes from a place that has grown to be known for its violent uprisings in recent months. Yes, it’s time for a return trip to Chișinău, the capital of Moldova. It’s where some 7,000 people gathered and rose up over the weekend, demanding the resignation of the government and early elections. Sure, those are some pretty generic demands for a riot, but they’re still lofty aims and underscore the fact that little has been resolved since September, when demonstrators began demanding a proper investigation into more than $1 billion that went missing from three banks prior to parliamentary elections in November 2014. The entire country has been rocked by protests ever since and the bold dissidents who marched through the city Sunday claim the current government is under the influence of politically connected business people who dictate policy. It’s not so different than the claims being made by a certain current Democratic presidential candidate in the United States, just on a smaller scale. However, some cowards, er, political leaders and parties declined to take part in Sunday's protest because Orthodox Christians celebrate Palm Sunday, a religious holiday in Moldova. Whatever y’all need to tell yourselves, “leaders.” Fact is, in the past year your country has had six prime ministers and it’s no more stable now than it was a year ago……..

- There is good news and there is partially scary news for fans of three of HBO’s biggest shows. “Game of Thrones,” “Silicon Valley” and “Veep” have all been renewed for another season, but for one member of that trio, the next season could be the final one. “Game of Thrones” will get a seventh season, HBO confirmed, but  its impending two-season renewal could come with a caveat. There is speculation that show runners David Benioff and DB Weiss are considering splitting the finale into two shorter final seasons with seven episodes for the seventh season and six a truncated eighth campaign that would be the series’ ending. As for “Silicon Valley,” a comedy about hapless nerds struggling to make it in the ruthless tech industry, its next season will be its third. “Veep” is heading into its fifth season, which will be its first without creator Armando Iannucci, who found maintaining family life in London tricky to balance with an American production schedule. The sixth season of “Thrones” just got underway and the speculation, hype and fervor around the show remains intense despite rumblings of its approaching end. Part of its possible winding down is that fact that, for the first time, the show is ahead of the books on which it is based. Still, having new seasons of three respected, highly rated shows is great news for HBO, which continues to build its brand of strong original content with no commercials that allow people to say whatever the f*ck they want because there’s no bullsh*t censorship to worry about like there is on network television or basic cable…….. 

- Any story that includes a police detective uttering the words, “It’s my first time ever recovering a monkey from a prostitute,” has to be considered a positive for the world. Sure, a cynic could argue that there is a downside to the tale of a married Oregon pet shop worker paying a prostitute with cash from a Girl Scout donation jar and tipping said hooker with a small exotic primate, but that person would be a moron. They would be failing to appreciate the beauty of the scumbag that is Nathan Allen McClain, who is charged with soliciting a prostitute  after a police investigation stemming from the Zany Zoo Pet Store reporting the theft of $7,000 in Girl Scouts donation money, a laptop and a Galago primate nicknamed “Gooey.” Detective Rick Lowe helped steer the investigation and it was this law enforcement hero who spoke the soon-to-be-famous words about recovering a monkey from a hooker. One of the best parts of this is that the pet store from which McClain allegedly stole is owned by the wife on whom he was cheating. Police recovered surveillance video from a neighboring store showing McClain breaking into the pet shop. Detectives recovered Gooey last month when they interviewed an out-of-town prostitute who had the primate and she narced out McClain, telling police he paid her with money taken from the pet store, including cash stolen from a Girl Scouts donation jar. Gooey served as a gratuity for her sexual favors and officers arrested McClain two days later when he was observed exiting a porn shop allegedly under the influence of meth. Oh, and the porn shop is next door to the Oregon State Police’s Albany office. All told, this meth head, hooker-soliciting thief faces multiple charges, including DUI-controlled substance. Still, he’s brought so much wonderment and amusement to the world……….

- So, about having NHL players in the next Winter Olympics…umm, tag that with a major question mark. Word on the street is that the NHL, NHL Players Association and International Ice Hockey Federation met last week, with the IIHF updating the other two groups on the bad news that  the International Olympic Committee is balking at reimbursing some of the expenses that were paid for in the past for the league and players. Ever since NHL participation commenced in 1998 at Nagano, Japan, the IOC has been willing to pitch in and help cover expenses such as insurance for players and travel costs, but these days everyone even tangentially associated with the Games has been much more hesitant to shell out money unless they absolutely have to. Of course, there’s always the chance that this is merely another conniving plot by the ever-dodgy IOC early in the negotiation process for NHL participation in the 2018 Winter Games and given the organization’s shady history, that’s probably even likely. Many believe the NHL might have interest in investing in a long-term plan for the sport in Asia by committing to both the 2018 Games in South Korea and the 2022 Games in Beijing, but that’s a bigger issue that will take time to hammer out. This game of hockey chicken has a few more chapters, as the NHL and NHLPA could respond to the IOC’s threats by pulling out and electing to focus on the World Cup of Hockey, which returns next September. Of course, everyone could simply choose to focus in on the exciting, dramatic tale that’s unfolding in the ongoing NHL playoffs, but that would be far too easy to do……….

Fatsel Rose v. a tribute band singer, call it Myanmar or Burma and community college idiots prove their character

- Thanks for proving all of the condescending stereotypes about you, glorified 13th graders at McLennan Community College in Waco, Texas. You all just confirmed that community college students, by and large, are the rejects who couldn’t get into a real school by (allegedly) stealing 60 pounds of dinosaur bones near a Utah quarry during an educational trip. The quintet of Philip Bukowski, Paige Bukowski, Collin Kubacak, Travis York and Crystal Webster have been charged with taking the bones when they snuck away from a sanctioned dig last May and pried a dinosaur limb and other fragments from a desert landscape that contains a treasure trove of bones that are millions of years old. They stole $2,500 worth of bones, but what are the chances these amateur ass hats had the connections or criminal knowledge to move them once they heisted them? "They just happened to find them and took them home inappropriately," said Daniel Burton, a spokesman for the Utah attorney general. "There are statutes specifically there to protect the land, so you cannot do this kind of thing." Investigators seized the stolen bones and returned them to Utah after they were taken from an area near Hanksville-Burpee Dinosaur Quarry, about 230 miles south of Salt Lake City. They hit the suspects with charges of theft and trespassing counts. Their theft came from a quarry containing  hundreds of fossils from the Jurassic Period that date back as much as 150 million years, including the long-high-school institution of slightly higher learning, idiots…….

- Much like an employee who knows their days with a company are numbered and can't be bothered to put in any extra effort as time winds down on their gig, the grounds crew and powers that be at Turner Field are (allegedly) mailing in the Atlanta Braves’ final season in the former Olympic venue. According to sources, Braves players are considering contacting the players' union to see if they can compel the club to improve the playing surface, believing the field is not being treated with the same meticulous care as in the past because it is the last season of baseball at the venue. The players claim the problem areas are the uneven grass and the unpredictable area where the turf meets the infield dirt and the theory is that the home team took a hit in the opening homestand of the season when shortstop Erick Aybar, a Gold Glove winner in 2011, made two errors in the first four home games. In an April 9 contest, the Braves and Cardinals combined to make six miscues and after a recent series in Atlanta, the Los Angeles Dodgers sounded off as well. "This is a tough infield," Dodgers manager Dave Roberts said. "You look at Dodger Stadium versus this field, and this field, the guys talk about it around the league that it is not the best infield as far as playing." Dodgers second baseman Chase Utley observed that “the field has changed a little bit over the years,” which is a nice way of saying it’s a goat track out there and someone needs to do something about it before a player blows his knee out and wrecks his career based on whatever reason the Braves give for not breaking out basic lawn care equipment with a little more regularity……..

- While other countries get way too demanding about what they’re called and how it’s pronounced, it’s nice to see a country that doesn’t give a damn. Myanmar is a country in turmoil, with a new government moving in and a contentious history highlighted by Aung San Suu Kyi, the government's de facto leader in the specially created post of state counselor. She spent most of her adult life under house arrest simply for demanding that she be allowed to hold an elected office to which she was voted and since her release, she has fought to help the country make the leap to fair, democratic government. She cares about that issue, but what she doesn’t give a damn about is whether foreign diplomats call her country Myanmar, or its old name, Burma. Suu Kyi laid out her position in a speech to the foreign diplomatic corps and as the Burmese foreign minister, her word carries a lot of weight. Ironically, democracy supporters in Burma balked when the then-ruling military in 1989 renamed the country Myanmar and the ever-pissy military was in turn snippy when activists and their supporters abroad — including many Western governments — insisted on sticking with the old name. As Suu Kyi sees it, it’s up to the diplomats what name to use because the constitution doesn't mandate either name and given how contentious the topic has been in recent years, this is a nice departure from the norm………

- Hope Axl Rose is pumped to have beat out some random tribute band singer to fill in as the temporary frontman of iconic rock outfit AC/DC. Fat-sel is currently fronting AC/DC as they tour the United States, but according to AC/DC covers band Thunderstruck lead singer Lee Robinson, the job was nearly his before it went to the cherubic leader of on-again, off-again Guns ‘N Roses. Robinson claims AC/DC brought him in for an audition when they were seeking a short-term frontman after long-time singer Brian Johnson was advised by doctors to quit touring lest he sustain complete hearing loss. Thunderstruck actually has its own website, which claims the knock-off rockers  "offer the most complete and authentic reproduction of AC/DC’s sound and stage performance in North Carolina and beyond.” If you believe Robinson’s tale, the band flew him into Atlanta in March to audition for them, where bassist Cliff Williams allegedly said the band found out about the tribute act after stumbling upon YouTube clips of their performances. Amazingly, despite singing someone else’s songs on the regular, he didn’t know all the word to the songs and was allowed to use a teleprompter that Johnson had to remember lyrics. "When I heard that, I pretty much passed out. I didn’t have to worry about forgetting the lyrics anymore," he said. "Once they started playing I was just excited and was just standing there like what the hell. I'm playing with AC/DC. Stevie [Young, guitarist] said, ‘Hell yeah, that’s the right way to do it,’ when I asked if we could do the audition in standard. But that’s the only way I know how to sing it." Young allegedly told Robinson he has “a helluva voice,” but in the end, a portly, egomaniacal and more accomplished lead singer took the job and ran - er, strolled slowly with it……..

China exports human rights abuse, Jewish cuisine hijinks and Viet Cong is a bad band name.... #shocker

- Wherever Chinese government representatives go, the trampling of human rights seems to follow. Much like celebrites and athletes have their brand, China has its and that brand is based on ignoring and demolishing the basic rights of its citizens, something Czech center-right opposition parties have ironically accused Prague police of during a recent visit of the Chinese president. Opposition groups have decried what they call an excessive use of police force against citizens protesting China's human rights record when President Xi Jinping was in town last month. What no one can question is that there were numerous violent clashes between Czech protesters and what appeared to be well-organized groups of Chinese people supporting their leader, with police doing something resembling trying to restore order through whatever means they deemed necessary. According to law enforcement, 23 people were detained in total from both camps, but no one really agrees on the facts of this story. According to the opposition Civic Democratic Party and TOP 09, police sided with the Chinese. They’re demanding to know if that plan was ordered by the government and who to blame for Czechs being denied their protest rights. Interior Minister Milan Chovanec is doing what a true government stooge does, denying any wrongdoing and admitting to only one “minor” mistake. All in all, a truly shady response to a situation that should surprise no one, given that China is involved and people are demanding the right for dissenting opinions to be heard……..

- Wrong move, anonymous Canadian post-punk rockers formerly known as Viet Cong. This unknown outfit previously went by a moniker derived from the political organization and army in South Vietnam and Cambodia that fought the United States and South Vietnamese governments during the Vietnam War, but have decided to change their name to the forgettable, progressive rock-sounding Preoccupations. Why? Because they feel like their former name was hurting their game and causing some promoters to cancel their shows. They received a fair amount of heat for the Viet Cong name and yet, it’s pretty much the only reason anyone knows who the hell they are. Changing the name draws even more attention to their ignored career and the band released a statement explaining the change. “We apologize to those who were adversely affected by our former band name. This was never anticipated nor our intent,” the band said in its statement. “We are artists and not politicians, we understand that the name reflected pain to some individuals and we are happy to change it and move on and focus on our music.” The band had promised to change their name before the release of their next record and are pleading naiveté on the whole matter. Frontman Matt Flegel claimed the band were not fully aware of the context of their former name. "We were pretty naive, and pretty ignorant on the subject. We know a lot more now. If we knew what we know now then we would definitely not call the band that,” he said. But bro, the only way you pick that name is if you’ve heard it somewhere and if you heard it, then chances are pretty good you didn’t hear it in a positive context. Nice try, though……..

- Oh, the double-talk and scheming of the kosher food world. The dastardly plotting and conniving never ends as people and companies angle for control of this most lucrative of markets. The latest shenanigans come from Newark, New Jersey, where a recently fired rabbi is accusing kosher foods manufacturer Manischewitz of pushing him out as its longtime inspector of holiday matzos after he complained it wasn't sticking to strict Jewish religious practices. Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz is taking the legal fight to The Manischewitz Co., where he worked for the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America as the chief supervising rabbi. The UOJCA supplies supervising clergy to independently ensure kosher standards are kept at food producers and because of how seriously Jewish folks take the purity of their food, it’s an important gig. It’s also worth noting that adhering to those standards means food companies spend more to produce their grub than they otherwise would, so cutting a corner or two in the name of profit is both unethical and lucrative. Horowitz is claiming that’s what Manischewitz Co. did and he’s now suing both the company and his union in New York City, seeking millions of dollars in compensation for emotional distress and damage to the his reputation. In response, the UOJCA insists the lawsuit is "entirely without merit" and Manischewitz meets the highest kosher standards. Meanwhile, the worry-prone Jewish men and women who rely on Manischewitz for their cuisine now have something else to stress about………

- Athletes walking away from their sport to enlist in the military is not a new idea. Pat Tillman famously did it when he left the NFL to become an Army Ranger and later lost his life in combat. Former NFL offensive tackle Darren Colledge recently walked away from football to join the Army National Guard. MMA star Benson Henderson is joining their club, although he has altered his previous pledge to retire from the sport at the age of 33. His designated birthday is nearing and yet, here he is getting ready to start his new career as a Bellator fighter this weekend against Andrey Koreshkov for the welterweight title. Henderson has also expressed a desire to join the military, but thought that there were age limitations for join. He has since learned that it is possible for him to enlist and now plans to do so, yet still continue his MMA career. “I thought I would have to leave MMA but I talked to a few recruiters and the let me know that there [aren’t age limitations],” Henderson said. After defecting from the UFC to Bellator in free agency, he wants to chase  both the welterweight and lightweight titles and should he win tonight, he hopes  to get a shot at the lightweight title, currently held by Will Brooks, later this year. Somewhere in that mix, he’s going to go to basic training it seems. "Every 22-year old says [they want to join the military],” Henderson said. “It’s something that I always felt. When I’m older, when I’m 50, I want to tell my kids and my grandkids [that] you have a civic duty to your country.” He said he has talked to his wife and will do whatever the military asks him to do, which odds are will be less violent than what he currently does for a living……..

Game of Thrones + Liam Gallagger, Nigerians v. lack of fuel and NBA dance party haters

- Craigslist is a bizarre and terrifying place. There are freaks of all types looking for everything from sexual fetish material to those seeking human organs and anything in between, but every now and then, something on the list of weird offerings on the site is simply weird and nothing more. Enter Cornish, Maine resident Bob Solomon, who’s looking to move a half-century-old tank on Craigslist. Solomon’s M-114 tank dates back to the Vietnam War era, but he’s not sure if it ever saw combat. In a truly Craigslist tale, Solomon got the tank in a trade about a year ago. “I’m always trading, and wheeling and dealing. That’s what you’ve got to do in Maine, right?” he said. Sure, but who the hell is making a deal for a car, boat or large household appliance and says, “Hey Bob, I don’t have the cash for that, but what I do have is this semi-functional, 50-year-old tank?” Solomon is asking $10,000, but his ad says he’ll consider some interesting trades – namely vintage “Star Wars” merchandise. He claims he doesn’t want to sell, but said his family needs the money. Sadly, for those looking to start their own local militia, the tank starts and runs, but has been stripped of its armor and weapons. Solomon and his three sons originally planned on rebuilding the top of the fighting vehicle so his sons could “have their buddies ride in the tank,” but the need for disposable cash eventually won out because Solomon suffered a back injury that affected his ability to work. According to state authorities, the tank could be made street-legal with a lot of work, but didn’t explain how any dude purchasing it should explain it to his wife……..

- Bitter much, Dallas Mavericks reserve forward Charlie Villanueva? Villanueva has apparently appointed himself the NBA equivalent of the town leaders in “Dirty Dancing,” decreeing that the nightly pregame dance party between Oklahoma City Thunder superstar guard Russell Westbrook and rookie guard Cameron Payne is inappropriate. Villanueva blatantly initiated a minor confrontation before Game 2 of the two teams’ first-round playoff series when he stepped between Westbrook and Payne during their normal pregame dance routine in front of the scorer's table at midcourt. Westbrook shoved Villanueva out of the way, but Villanueva walked between his dancing foes a second time and kept his anti-dancing crusade going in a video he recorded and posted online. "If you want to go dancing and stuff like that, go to a nightclub," Villanueva said. "Go to a club and dance. Go to 'Dancing With the Stars' and be a dancer. You want to battle and dance, we can battle, but not in a basketball game. Plus, they were in my way, too, so I wasn't necessarily interrupting their dance." He tried to explain how he loves pregame hype and rituals, but said dancing is a step too far. “I wasn't feeling all that right in front of me. Take that to the nightclub or to your side of the court. All due respect, but naaah,” Villanueva added. Hey Chuck….you and every other “old school’ type in every sport who tries to stamp out fun, dancing, celebrations and showmanship out of their sport needs to stop. There is nothing so sacred or holy about any sport that a guy two-stepping or freestyling before or during the game is sacrilege. Just appreciate that your team won the game and stop being so damn bitter about what happened on the side of the court before tip-off……..

- A gallon of gas for your soul, Nigeria? With disagreements between the government and fuel importers topped off with a foreign currency crisis caused by plunging oil prices, the African nation is locked in yet another fuel shortage and that’s impacting more than just citizens’ ability to get around. The fuel scarcity has left many without gas for cars and fuel for generators, which many people rely on for electricity. In a disturbing sight, drivers are queuing up for hours and even overnight in the hope of landing some of the few remaining drops of petrol available at fuel stations around Abuja, Lagos and other cities around the country. To compound the crisis, the recent explosion of an important pipeline and that has negatively affected electricity supplies. State officials are trying to reassure the public that the crisis would be resolved quickly, but that was weeks ago and as they wait, Nigerians are taking to Twitter, using the hashtags #NoFuel #NoLight and #EndFuelCrisisNow to share their experiences. They’ve used valuable power on their mobile devices or computers to share images of long fuel lines and snarky observations, lamenting their petrol-based problems regarding power for lighting, appliances and devices such as mobile phones. Worst still, the country’s water supply has also been affected because pumps are often powered by generators. Even though Nigeria is Africa's main oil exporter, it lacks facilities to refine it and depends on imports. President Muhammadu Buhari and Minister of State for Petroleum Resources Emmanuel I. Kachikwu have done little outside of posting useless videos on Facebook and considering that a similar crisis happened in May last year, a pattern appears to be developing here………

- An odd trend has emerged with “Game of Thrones,” which returns to the small screen for a sixth season on Sunday night. Ahead of the much-anticipated season, various characters on the show are being linked to different political and pop culture figures. First, we have Iwan Rheon explaining that he based his “Thrones” character on former Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher.  Rheon plays Ramsay Bolton in the hit series and much like Gallagher, his character is extremely unpopular and hated by many. Rheon said he played Bolton "somewhere between the Joker from The Dark Knight and Dennis the Menace, with a little bit of Liam Gallagher in there.” Up next is British actor Jonathan Pryce, who plays High Sparrow on the show and has had his on-screen persona likened to Labor leader Jeremy Corbyn.  “It was all with good intentions; he had lived a very debauched life, he was very rich, and he woke up one morning and said, ‘This is wrong’ and walked out with bare feet. He’s stayed barefooted ever since,” Pryce said of his character's defining quirk. “It’s funny, or perhaps ironic, but if you look on the Internet there are images of me and Jeremy Corbyn as a looky-likey. That could be interesting. A faith militant.” Given the sheer volume of characters on the show, if this trend picks up speed, Season 7 could be in the books before the world finishes deciding which public figures most resembles every member of the cast…….

Grand theft idiots, shooting four "Avatar" movies at once and Philly fans gonna Philly fan

- If you invite Philly fan to the playoffs, you have to expect this kind of result. Much like inviting your one bro who always takes it eight steps too far to that low-key house party you’re trying to throw when house-sitting for the weekend, having Philadelphia sports fans in the playoffs virtually guarantees that sh*t is going to get broken and a face or two may get caved in. This time, if was Flyers fans temporarily hijacking Game 3 of their team’s first-round NHL playoff series against the Washington Capitals by littering glow stick wristbands on the ice during the Flyers’ 6-1 home ass-kicking. To show their displeasure late in the game, fans at the Wachovia Center tossed their wristbands, which had been used as part of a pregame lights show, on the ice as the Capitals turned the game into a rout. Public address announcer Lou Nolan tried to stop it by pleading with fans to "show some class" during the first wave of band tossing, then cautioned that their team would be hit with a penalty if people kept throwing the wristbands and garbage. Being Philly fans, they refused to listen and pelted the ice with the giveaways at the same pace even after Flyers right wing Wayne Simmonds raised his hand toward the crowd and pleaded with fans to stop chucking the colorful bracelets on the ice late. Seeing the visitors take a commanding 3-0 lead in the series with four goals in the third period sent fans over the edge and after the Flyers were whistled for the penalty, Nolan sarcastically snarked, “Way to go,” at the offending fans. All in all, just about what we all should have expected……..

- They won't win, but credit to seven environmental groups, including WWF and Greenpeace, who are going to battle against a Polish government plan for extensive logging in Europe's last primeval forest. The consortium has lodged a complaint with the European Commission over the plan, arguing they were forced to take that step after running out of options in Poland. They claim this aggressive plan violates a key European conservation law, arguing that last month, when Poland's Environment Minister Jan Szyszko approved extensive logging in the Bialowieza Forest in northeastern Poland, his reasoning was faulty. Szyszko argued that the plan was  to help fight the spread of bark beetle, but environmentalists see a much more sinister reason and are smelling a conspiracy theory. Their theory is that this entire plan is merely a pretext for massive commercial logging and they’re looking to wage war on behalf of a forest that is on UNESCO's World Heritage list and is home to hundreds of wild bison, over 60 other species of mammals and hundreds of species of trees, plants and lichens. That list might not do a lot for the majority of the world, but with news of global warming’s effects speeding up and the impact that deforestation has on this particular problem, not chopping down these trees does sound like a defensible idea. Of course, that doesn’t mean the tree huggers have a real chance to win here………

- Jim Cameron is going full bore and electing to rip the band-aid off in one motion rather than take a more gradual approach. Better known as acclaimed director James Cameron, this cinematic savant is planning to shoot four Avatar sequels all in one push, even though that means the second movie in the sci-fi franchise won't hit theaters until December 2018. The director recently announced that he intends to turn the original “Avatar” film into a true ‘chise, releasing films in 2018, 2020, 2022 and 2023. He could do it conventionally and film one movie at a time, but he’s chosen to shoot all eight hours of the series concurrently. “It’s not back-to-back. It’s really all one big production. It’s more the way you would shoot a miniseries,” Cameron said. “ So we’ll be shooting across all (scripts) simultaneously. So Monday I might be doing a scene from Movie Four, and Tuesday I’m doing a scene from Movie One. We’re working across, essentially, eight hours of story. It’s going to be a big challenge to keep it all fixed in our minds, exactly where we are, across that story arc at any given point.” If nothing else, shooting this way should help with continuity, even if it has the potential to drive all involved with the projects insane because of the butterfly effect of tweaking any detail in any of the four films and impacting the other three in the process as they’re all being shot at the same time. The first film was a colossal commercial and critical success and these four films should be more of the same, but Cameron seems a bit of a madman for how he’s making them……..

- Seriously, trio of St. Petersburg, Florida teens? Your best idea for teenage hijinks and shenanigans involves a used Toyota Camry and some forgetful dude who wasn’t smart enough to take his keys with him when he went into his local coffee shop for a cup of caffeine? Three teens, two of them 15 years old and one 16, spotted an unattended Camry with its keys in the ignition and the engine running at a coffee shop  in the 1900 block of 53rd St. N and being a group of teenage dudes and therefore having a collective IQ roughly 1/3 of what it would be if you added up their individual intelligence, they decided it was a great chance to take a clunky, used sedan for a joy ride in the Florida sun.  St. Petersburg Police Department investigators said the theft happened shortly before 7 a.m., which is astonishing because what the hell kind of teenagers are up that early if they’re not in school? If you’re the sort of teenager who commits grand theft atuo, then you’re probably still napping it out at that hour and skipping school, but somehow these thre knuckleheads were not only awake, but alert enough to spot the unattended car, jump in and take off. Sadly, in addition to being morons, they’re also terrible car thieves and their joy ride ended moments later when they - really -  drove over an unoccupied car that was parked about a block away. With the stolen car propped partially on top of the second vehicle, the teens fled the scene, but a police officer spotted them a few blocks away and arrested them. It was the inevitable end to one of the most pointless crimes imaginable and now these three get an early start on the criminal records they were bound to develop at some point. Well played, ass hats………

A new take on Commissioner Gordon, Donald Trump hearts Indonesia and MLB beanballs = premium liquor

- The upcoming “Justice League” film is about to cop a ‘tude. J.K. Simmons, no stranger to superhero movies, says his take on Batman's police ally Commissioner James Gordon in the new JL movie will be different than the gruff, yet kind image past versions of the character have taken on. Simmons, who won an supporting actor Oscar for his role as a maniacal music teacher in “Whiplash” two years ago, previously walked into the superhero world as Peter Parker’s acerbic boss J. Jonah Jameson in Toby Maguire’s take on the webslinger. Many actors have played Gordon, from Benjamin McKenzie (“Gotham”) and Gary Oldman (the “Dark Knight” trilogy) to Pat Hingle (Tim Burton’s “Batman”), but Simmons doesn’t plan to take inspiration from any of them.  "Obviously, a lot of really wonderful actors have played that character previously, and most of them I saw at the time the movies came out, never imagining that I would be doing the same thing,” he said. “So, I can’t say that I don’t have some impression of that character in my head that’s based on what I saw, but I’m not planning on going back and watching any of the other films.” As part of the DC Comics movie, which begins shooting later this month, Simmons plans on “learning as much as I can about him through the comics and getting my feet wet in the first movie, and then hopefully continuing on from there.” Given his obvious on-screen talent and versatility, Simmons seems like a safe bet to do this role, no pun intended, a healthy dose of justice……..

- Someone needs to ask Baltimore pastor Elder Harris is he’s willing to accept the Republican presidential nomination. Some might see the pastor of a small community church camping out on the roof of his place of worship until his unreasonable demands are met as a sign that he’s finally lost his mind and gone from divinely inspired to downright insane. Those people need to take a second look. This visionary is camping out 30 feet in the air on the roof of Newborn Community of Faith Church until his community gets out to vote. It is a peaceful and nonviolent way of protesting and so many people have given their lives to give us the opportunity to vote,” Harris said. His Sandtown community has seen historically low voter turnover of late and during the 2014 primary season, just 257 people showed up to vote. Harris is thinking big and with Maryland’s presidential primary approaching fast, Harris wants to see that number double this time around. “Something bold needed to happen to wake up our community,” Harris said. If the community - the same one that rioted last year following the death of Freddie Gray - shows up at the polls, then Harris will come down and return to civilization. If not, a man whose absence probably won't faze many people will presumably stay on the roof until something is done about the problem. In his defense, this is a man who has been working to rebuild and uplift his community following the chaos and he believes it starts with voting.  “What I am doing is nothing in comparison to what our forefathers and mothers have done to give us what I call a day of celebration,” Harris said. Fight the good fight, E……..

- It may not be a fair trade, but it’s still a nice gesture. Toronto Blue Jays first baseman Chris Colabello took an 87 mph fastball to the head this weekend, sending him tumbling to the ground. The following day, he arrived as his locker in the visitors’ clubhouse at Fenway Park to find an unexpected, glassy and joy-filled vessel of apology courtesy of the man who drilled him in the dome with a pitch. The morning after getting beaned by Steven Wright, Colabello found a large bottle of liquor waiting for him in his locker. "Steven decided that he was going to send over a gift,'" Colabello said. "He didn't have to. I'm sure that's not cheap, too.” Sure, but when you leave a man sitting on the ground being examined for a possible concussion, it’s best to do something to offer up a mea culpa. "It's just more of a token of saying I'm sorry," Wright said. "I didn't really want it to be a public thing because it was really between me and him. I know it's not a necessary thing. The gift was more for me than it was for him to kind of ease it for myself for what happened." Wright showed contrition on the mound right after the incident, taking off his hat and chatting with Colabello as he made his way to first. According to Colabello, pitchers sending peace offerings to a player after hitting him "happens more than people know. You build relationships with people." Maybe next time just bond over your shared love of “Game of Thrones” or roller coasters, because that would be slightly less painful……..

- If Donald Trump doesn’t become America’s next president, he may have a future running Indonesia. After all, that overgrown Oompa Loompa is a big fan of extreme interrogation measures, hostile treatment of undersiables and many other things that civilized society would frown upon, so he has to love the fact that Indonesia's current president is defending his country's use of the death penalty for drug offenses. President Joko "Jokowi" Widodo if of the opinion that drug abuse constitutes an emergency and seems bizarrely proud of the fact that Indonesia has extremely strict drug laws and more than 130 people on death row, mostly for drug crimes. Widodo said that "Indonesia currently has an emergency, above all in drug abuse, claiming that 30-50 people a day die in Indonesia because of drugs. Speaking through an interpreter, he touted the fact that Indonesia is preparing to execute more foreigners convicted of drug offenses even though similar executions last year caused an international outcry. "Implementation of the death penalty is carried out very cautiously,” Widodo explained. Those words flew directly in the face of what he heard just moments before during a meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who underlined Germany's opposition to capital punishment and its wish for Indonesia "not to implement it if possible." Your wishes are not Jokowi’s command, Angela, so go ahead and fly home with the knowledge that you just wasted your time and breath……..