NFL CB battles, pothead mayors and man-banders as The Riddler

- Never forget the dangers of toothpaste….even if you aren’t British and actually value the health, well-being and long-term in-mouth residence of your teeth. That lesson was driven home emphatically this week in a probation office for the Commonwealth of Virginia, where workers were terrified to discover a white, powdery substance inside an envelope delivered from the Norfolk City Jail. The probation office, located at 865 Monticello Ave. in Norfolk, became a chaotic scene when workers found the powder and immediately called 911. Capt. Mike Hicks with Norfolk Fire and Rescue confirmed the story and added that a HAZMAT team was dispatched to the scene to access the substance. As so often happens when an alarmed member of the public discovers a substance they believe may be hazardous or even lethal, the substance turned out to be nothing at all. Some intense and detailed investigative work by the HAZMAT team determined the substance to be toothpaste and the story behind it wasn’t exactly scintillating. Rather than a disgruntled inmate being denied parole or someone who thought they were getting probation only to be sent to jail and responding by pulling a hoax on the probation office, the entire incident turned out to be nothing more than an inmate at the jail providing pre-trial paperwork to the probation office and using the toothpaste to seal the envelope. Toothpaste as a sealant is highly underrated, ironically. The HAZMAT team was able to contain and neutralize the deadly toothpaste and the scene was eventually cleared…….

- If movie fans hated the idea of Ben Affleck playing Batman in the forthcoming “Batman vs. Superman” movie, they are going to despise this next piece of potential casting news. Affleck, widely viewed as not having the acting or action star chops to pull off the caped crusader, could be joined by weasel-on-helium-voiced former man-bander Justin Timberlake as The Riddler. Timberlake said he would be interested in playing The Riddler in director Zack Snyder’s take on the superhero saga. Snyder teased the project at San Diego Comic-Con last month and as the name suggests, the two heroes won't get along. The petition to remove Affleck from the Batman role has amassed over 85,000 signatures, but perhaps in a blatant case of brown-nosing, Timberlake defended the choice to cast him. "Ben Affleck as Batman, I like it. I worked with Ben last summer and I've seen his process. I think he's a brilliant filmmaker. I think he's an extreme talent so he could surprise a lot of people,” Timberlake said. Yes, Affleck is a good filmmaker, but not an outstanding actor and certainly not a top-notch action star. Timberlake was also asked if he would be interested in playing Robin to Affleck's Batman, but shot the idea down because he said he has never aspired to be a superhero on screen. "Now villain. I'll tell you the villain I want to play more than anything because I grew up loving Batman, funny enough, is the Riddler,” Timberlake explained. “The Riddler is my favorite villain. The Riddler was like a sociopath. He was proper crazy. So if I'm gonna play crazy, I wanna play proper crazy. I'm ready. The Riddler. Gimme a call." The Riddler character made his comic book debut in 1948 and horribly brought to life in the regrettable, forgettable 1995 Batman film “Batman Forever” by Jim Carrey, who donned a lime green spandex bodysuit for the role……..

- Duuuuuude. Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is totally gonna score the stoner vote the next time he’s up for election….assuming stoners can be motivated to get off their couch, but down the Pop Tarts and their bong and vote. Ford is (allegedly) a crack-smoking public servant, but he is most definitely a pot-smoking mayor. He denied allegations earlier this year that he was caught smoking crack cocaine on camera, but had no problem admitting this week that he has “smoked a lot of” the hippie lettuce. He made the casual admission as he was leaving a business luncheon and was asked by reporters if he had ever smoked chron. “Oh yeah, I won't deny that. I've smoked a lot of it," he said with a laugh. For the mayor of Canada’s largest city, baking and governing may not be mutually exclusive, if Ford is telling the truth. His frankness came as a bit of a surprise considering that multiple reports earlier this year that there was a cellphone video that appears to show Ford using crack cocaine were met with adamant denials from the mayor. Through it all, Ford has continued to enjoy a hard core of support from a segment of Toronto voters, particularly in the suburbs, who lifted him to power in 2010 on a platform of controlling spending and cutting taxes. Despite his drug troubles, Ford said he plans to run for re-election and he has plenty of company in Canadian pothead politics. Ontario premier Kathleen Wynne said Wednesday that she had smoked ganja "very infrequently" decades ago, while federal Liberal Party leader Justin Trudeau said in a recent interview that he last smoked marijuana about three years ago, after being elected to Parliament, and had used the drug five or six times in his life. For those wandering, pot use in America’s Hat remains illegal, with the exception of medical marijuana. Well, illegal unless you’re one of the people who makes or enforces the laws………

- Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman has no problem talking junk to the NFL’s best. He memed a photo of himself going face to face with Tom Brady last season after the Seahawks beat the Patriots, slugging it with a “You mad, bro?” caption. Odds are the dreadlocked defensive back won't have any concerns about beefing with Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback Darrelle Revis after Revis fired a shot across Sherman’s bow after Sherman declared himself the best cornerback in the NFL. "You can't crown yourself as anything in this league," Revis said. "You've got to earn it." Revis once held the unofficial title as the league's top cornerback, but he suffered a season-ending injury while playing for the New York Jets last year. He was traded to Tampa Bay in the offseason and spent the summer rehabbing his injury and looking to return to the field in top form to start the season with his new team. He clearly views Sherman’s comments as an attempt to gravy train on his top status and warned the rambunctious young star to back down. "He needs to quit attaching his career to my career," Revis added. "A lot of people need to have respect for this game. I'm not just talking about him. Respect what people have done to pave the way. Deion [Sanders] paved the way. Rod Woodson paved the way. Darrell Green. Mel Blount. Champ Bailey. Charles Woodson. Yeah, we're the next group, but you don't need to be getting into it with me.” Revis wrapped his rant by suggesting that elite players are part of a fraternity and need to have one another’s backs instead of sniping at one another. Both players will have a chance to hash out their issues in person when the Buccaneers play the Seahawks on Nov. 3 in Seattle………

Plan B vs. fans, Detroit troubles and Johnny Football skates

- Starbucks already owns most of the world, coffee-wise, so why not aim to take hold of the cream of the coffee-drinking crop? The house that Howard Schultz built has exported coffee beans from Colombia for more than four decades and the company now plans to open its first café in the Andean country in 2014 and serve only locally-grown coffee. Over the course of the next five years, Starbucks hopes to open at least 50 coffee shops in cities across Colombia, starting in the capital, Bogota. Coincidentally, the announcement took place at the same time as h protests by local coffee growers who are demanding the government provide more aid to counter low global prices and cheap imports hitting the world's largest producer of washed arabica beans. "We've had great success in Latin American and it's well overdue for us to open up in Colombia," Schultz said. The current plan is for six stores in the first year as Starbucks cashes in on a military crackdown on drug-funded insurgent groups that has made Colombia more attractive to foreign firms. Starbucks’ efforts will pour  $3 million into a plan to help 25,000 farmers in conflict-hit areas of Colombia increase coffee yields. Its new coffee shops will be run by a joint venture between Mexican restaurant firm Alsea, which operates more than 500 Starbucks stores in Latin America, and Colcafe, a subsidiary of Grupo Nutresa, the fourth-largest Colombian food company. Colcafe is best-known for helping Starbucks develop Via, its instant coffee product, launched in 2008. It remains Starbucks' only roasting facility in Colombia and will be expanded to roast espresso blends and packaged coffee for sale in the country. "We want to sell Colombian coffee in Colombia," said Craig Russell, Starbucks' senior vice president of global coffee. According to the Starbucks corporate machine, its efforts will also seek to reduce "extreme poverty, which is still a reality for almost all of these small-scale coffee growers that have barely one hectare (2.5 acres) of land.” Schultz also insisted the company’s high prices won't be a deterrent for Colombians, although he declined to reveal those prices………

- Look at the NCAA, dropping its judicial hammer on the most-famous player in college football. Well, as long as suspending him for two quarters of a non-conference game against and overmatched opponent his Texas A&M Aggies will hammer with or with out him counts as dropping the hammer, that is. If you believe that, then Johnny Manziel was absolutely pilloried by the frauds who run the NCAA for (allegedly) taking money to sign thousands of autographs in hotel rooms following his freshman season. After a thorough investigation, the governing body has decided to suspend Manziel for exactly one half of the Aggies’ season opener against the Rice Owls. Suspending a player for a half or a quarter is typically the type of bullsh*t move a coach pulls when one of his star receivers is busted for underage drinking and he has to discipline him even though he doesn’t want to, but the NCAA decided Manziel almost certainly violating its fraudulent rules on amateurism was no big deal because there was (allegedly) no evidence that he received payment for signing autographs. The 30-minute suspension for violating NCAA bylaw 12.5.2.1, which says student-athletes cannot permit their names or likenesses to be used for commercial purposes, including to advertise, recommend or promote sales of commercial products, or accept payment for the use of their names or likenesses, shows just how serious the NCAA can get. "If additional information comes to light, the NCAA will review and consider if further action is appropriate," the NCAA said in a joint statement with Texas A&M, presumably with its head firmly up its collective ass. "NCAA rules are clear that student-athletes may not accept money for items they sign, and based on information provided by Manziel, that did not happen in this case." Oh, and Manziel will also speak to his teammates about lessons learned from the situation, which involved him (allegedly) accepting payments to sign more than 4,000 items, including footballs and photographs at an event in Connecticut in late January. He’s definitely learned from this one, namely that rich and famous people get away with most anything they want in America………

- The hits (and bites) just keep on coming for the D. Already America's biggest bankrupt city -- currently more than $18 billion in debt and home to 70,000-plus vacant structures -- Detroit is dealing with a different sort of problem amongst those who do want to be there, specifically thousands of stray dogs who don’t mind inhabiting the Motor City. With many human residents struggling to get by, canines have been abandoned at an alarming rate and left to scavenge for food wherever they can find it. The dog problem has built for several decades, but it has grown worse in recent years as the economy has bottomed out. "They're over-breeding. They're running the streets," says Kristen Huston from All About Animals Rescue. "A lot of people have lost their homes, lost their jobs and they just don't have the funds," she says. "They love their animals but it's very hard to feed their own kids and family." Huston and her organization work to help strays and dogs that may soon become strays as part of the Pet for Life program, which provides free spay and neuter surgeries through a $50,000 grant from the Humane Society of the United States. Making matters worse - and more dangerous - for residents who have little choice but to remain in the city is the fact that 90 percent of the strays are pit bulls or pit mixes according to Harry Ward, who runs Detroit Animal Control. Ward and his team are charged with the task of responding to an overwhelming amount of calls about strays. Like the rest of the city, his department has been hit hard by Detroit’s collapse and his staff of 15 as of four years ago is now a staff of four. Even though the department has a $1.6 million annual budget, much of its money is tangled up in red tape. Oh, and the metal letters that read "DETROIT ANIMAL CONTROL" on the front of Ward's headquarters were stolen to be sold as scrap metal. All of that goes a long way toward explaining why Detroit ranks sixth on the 2012 U.S. Postal Service list of cities with the most dog attacks on mail carriers. All in all, the city is beginning to look more and more like the sort of post-apocalyptic hellscape that really does need RoboCop to come save it………

- Berating an audience is rarely a good idea for anyone other than a talented stand-up comedian. Marginal rapper Plan B doesn’t subscribe to that theory and it helps explain why he cut short his support slot before Eminem's massive Irish gig at Slane Castle in Ireland earlier this month. Plan B was the opening act for Eminem on Aug. 17 and went through most of his set with minimal response from the audience, leading him to attempt to cajole the crowd into life with cries of "Slane, are you with me?" and "Come on you c*nts!" When that didn’t work, he asked concert organizers how long he had to go on. He didn’t like what they told him. "10 minutes? 10 minutes... Well, we're only gonna play one more song cause we don't really wanna be here,” he told the crowd. Now, two weeks after the fact, he has explained why he was in such a foul mood. "The guys there were tired. They’d been there all day. They’d been there from when Chance The Rapper was on early,” he said of the crowd. “They’d been drinking, they were tired and they wanted to see the main event. When you’re main support and you’re just before the main event, I think it gets to that point in the day when people just want to see Eminem. My way of picking up the crowd sometimes is being a bit abusive. I’m like: ‘Come on, you cunts’, you know what I mean? That’s pretty much what it was. A crowd can be a tough crowd because they’re not interested, or it can be that they’re tired. For me, it was more that they were tired." He went on to say that he loves being the center of attention and consequently acts out when he doesn’t get his way. The festival netted more than 50 arrests during the course of the day, which included sets by EarlWolf, Chance The Rapper, Slaughterhouse and Yelawolf……..

NFL preseason hijinks, idiotic 911 calls and "Breaking Bad" alums move on

- “Breaking Bad” is ending, but its stars won't be idle once it wraps. Leading man Bryan Cranston is set to appear as Lex Luthor in the next “Superman” movie and fellow “Bad” cast member Aaron Paul is set to join the cast of ‘Exodus,” the forthcoming epic biblical film from director Ridley Scott. He will join a man who is himself ending a successful run with a franchise, ex-Batman hero Christian Bale. Bale has already signed up to star as Moses, while Paul is "in negotiations" to play Joshua, the Hebrew slave who becomes Moses' right-hand man and leads the people to the Promised Land after him. Producers are lining up a strong ensemble cast that also includes Joel Edgerton, who will play the pharaoh Ramses, as well as Sigourney Weaver and John Turturro, who will appear as Ramses' mother and father. The accomplished names on board with the project also includes Oscar-winning screenwriter Steven Zaillian (“Schindler's List,” “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.”) Scott is currently working on a film called “The Counsellor,” and once he wraps the movie he will begin working on “Exodus” in various locations in England, Spain and Morocco. Paul is in the midst of his and his “Breaking Bad” cast members’ final run on AMC. Their fifth and final season has only five episodes remaining and Paul is on record as saying that the home stretch for the show is going to give fans plenty to talk about and remember. He recently tweeted, “You guys are gonna sh*t your pants!” in talking about what lay ahead for the show……..

- Onion anger is raging in India. If it sounds absurd, in reality it is anything but. Monsoon rains weeks ago sent prices for the popular food skyrocketing in India and because the common man can no longer afford a basic dietary staple, armed robbers have resorted to targeting trucks hauling tons of onions. The price for onions has risen from around 9 rupees (13 cents) to an average of 45 rupees (65 cents) in the last month alone and the story is at the forefront of news reports across the country. “It is not usual to target food or vegetables,” said Ram Kishore, a police officer from the northern district of Shahpura where the truck carrying 40 tons of onions was seized last Wednesday. “Thieves do hijack loaded trucks, but it is usually for something more valuable.” Onion prices have impacted elections in the past in the country and India has a 19 percent share of global onion production, second only to China. Stockpiles of the vegetable are low and following a drought last year, India is in an impossible spot. Radio stations are finding their calls consist almost entirely of angry onion lovers of late and the topic has taken over shows. One national radio station nearly crashed its own switchboard when a host started a competition to win 11 pounds of onions. The offer started as a joke, but nearly 2,000 calls flooded in within five minutes. Rich people, poor people and everyone in between called, all hoping to score a nice, hefty bag of a product that makes a person cry merely for cutting it up to use in a meal……….

- Far too many 911 calls are made by idiots. Yes, many of those who dial the number need help desperately and are in need of life-saving assistance, but quite a few of those calling an emergency number are neither in an emergency nor in possession of more than 40 IQ points. Witness the outright idiocy of a 911 caller in Forest Grove, Ill. This poor soul called 911 and began her conversation with a simple statement: "I just kind of have a ridiculous question." The teenage girl called 911 not for an emergency, but instead for a spider. Yes, she was motoring along through an uneventful night earlier this month when she was confronted by a large, hairy and unwelcome presence in her house. "I'm home alone and there is a giant spider on the back of my couch, and I'm talking giant. I've never seen a spider this big and I have no idea what to do," she told the slightly dispatcher, according to 911 records. Having never seen “Annie Hall” and not being a Woody Allen fan, the girl failed to describe the spider as “the size of a Buick,” instead telling the operator that it was the size of a baseball, similar to a tarantula. She added that she is not normally scared by spiders, but a family member was recently bitten by one and had to go to the hospital. Oh, and she also justified her 911 call by saying this was a "massive freaking creature." "I don't know if you guys have anything I can do, or if I just sit here and stare at it and wait for someone to get home to kill it," she told the dispatcher. Amazingly, the operator didn’t laugh or chastise the girl for making such an asinine call and instead agreed to have an officer contact her. An officer actually did respond to the scene and estimated the spider was about 2 inches in diameter………

- In NFL preseason games, there is one and only one primary rule: Get your reps in, do what you need to do and don’t get injured or injure anyone else in the process. San Francisco 49ers guard Joe Looney violated that rule, although he claims it was unintentional, and the Minnesota Vikings believe he should pay for it. Looney, a second-year player, said he wasn't trying to intentionally injure Minnesota Vikings defensive tackle Kevin Williams with his low block Sunday night, saying he "didn't try to take a dirty, cheap shot at him." Looney defended himself by saying he is not a reckless player. "I tried to find him after the game to apologize, to let him know I'm not that kind of player who's trying to hurt guys and maliciously take violent hits at people," Looney said. "I've been injured myself. I know what it's like." The NFL agreed, as Dean Blandino, the league's vice president of officiating, determined Looney's block was legal under the rules and was not a violation of a new rule on peel-back blocks.  The Vikings did not agree, especially not after Williams suffered a hyperextended knee, bone bruise and postular capsular strain. The team registered a complaint and said Looney should be subject to discipline for the block, with Vikings defensive end Jared Allen speaking out against it. "He had a perfect opportunity to hit him in the chest, but he intentionally went to his knee," Allen said. "We want to talk about protecting player safety and all that stuff? Well, I got fined for a hit up high [against Chicago last year] because they said I launched into a guy, right? If he hits Kevin in the chest, and something happens, that's part of it. But if you intentionally duck, and go to a guy's knee, I mean, it had no bearing on the play.” Allen called the lack of punishment “absurd” and Vikings coach Leslie Frazier said he talked to the NFL about the play and was told the league agrees that "it's not the type of play they want in the game for player safety reasons." Looney wished Williams a quick recovery and sounded genuinely remorseful about the result of the block…….

Ohio goes secret Big Brother, Mets misery and stealing old Bibles

- No credit for owning your Big Brother antics two months too late and only after being exposed, state of Ohio. The Buckeye State has added a new level of spying on its citizens to the mix, only officials did so without notifying the public. State Attorney General Mike DeWine admitted he should have let Ohioans know that their images from driver's licenses were being used by law enforcement in criminal investigations even though he didn’t offer a great explanation as to why he chose not to do so. "If I had to do it over again, would we have announced it when we did it? Yeah, we would have. And I'll take responsibility for that," DeWine said. The controversial facial recognition technology program will continue, according to DeWine, who also said an advisory board will be created to review the system's usage and to suggest policy changes to avoid misuse of the program. The program gives police the capability to compare a photograph of a suspect or crime victim to an electronic pool of mug shots and driver's license photos in the Ohio database, with comparisons made of facial measurements from one image to the next in search of a match. Ohio is one of dozens of states to use such a program, according to a statement from DeWine, but the only one to lie about it and then say, “Oh, my bad.” Ohio law enforcement agencies began using the facial recognition technology in June and DeWine's concession that he should have let the public know about the program sooner didn’t placate anyone. "The time for press conferences and advisory boards was months ago," Gary Daniels, associate director of the ACLU of Ohio, said in a statement. "This system needs to be shut down until there are meaningful, documented rules in place to keep this information secure, protect the privacy of innocent people, and prevent government abuse of this new tool." States have gradually begun using the technology, which was developed in 2010, and it has already been used 2,677 times by Ohio law enforcement. In addition to identifying suspects, the system also assists law enforcement officials in identifying homicide victims, missing persons who suffer from Alzheimer's, dementia or amnesia, and human trafficking victims……..

- How is life, New York Mets fans? Your team is 13 games below .500, in fourth place in the National League East and the one player who has made this season even remotely tolerable is potentially staring down Tommy John surgery on his elbow. Right-hander Matt Harvey has been diagnosed with a partially torn ulnar collateral ligament in his pitching elbow, meaning his is unlikely to pitch again this season, general manager Sandy Alderson said. A final decision on surgery will have to wait 2-3 weeks, until swelling subsides and a clearer assessment of the extent of the tear can be determined. Harvey is hopeful that he can avoid surgery by strengthening the area around the ligament tear, although Alderson was less optimistic. "I'm going to do everything I can so I don't have to get surgery,” Harvey said. Should Tommy John surgery be necessary, it typically requires a 12-month recovery time and would cost Harvey most if not all of the 2014 season. This bitter news came down after Harvey was sent Monday morning to the Hospital for Special Surgery in Manhattan after complaining of forearm discomfort following a 102-pitch start Saturday against the Detroit Tigers. Dr. David Altchek did an MRI MRI that revealed the UCL tear. "Doctors will always tell you that if you could avoid surgery you should," Alderson said. "However, we have had situations in the past -- not just here, but across baseball -- where the conservative approach doesn't work, and what you end up with is a loss of time and therefore a delay in recovery. That all has to be taken into account.” Harvey ends his season with a 9-5 record, 2.27 ERA and the hearts of every Mets fan on the verge of shattering into a thousand pieces…..

- A German man who clearly didn’t read the Bible much before he stole a 200-year-old version of the holy book has finally realized the error of his ways. The stolen Bible was pilfered from a British church four decades ago and Simon Scott, treasurer of the Holy Trinity Church, in the coastal resort of Hastings, England, received the large, leather-bound book in the mail earlier this month. An anonymous note accompanied the book and came inside an envelope marked with a German return address. The note explained that the man stole the Bible in 1971. "I've never managed to pluck up the courage to come and hand it back personally. But now that I've retired, I've definitely decided to get on the right side of things,” the note read. It went on to say that the author was from Germany and had gone to the town to take an English language course with his wife but the lecturer seemed to be “very old, and had no teaching skills.” Some of the classes he took were at the church and when he saw some unused Bibles, he somehow reasoned that he would take one “as compensation for the poor course” and to read at home. “In fact,” he said in the letter, “I never got around to doing it,” adding that his wife was “very angry” with him for taking the book. "Whenever I came across the bible I would have this guilty conscience about doing it.” Scott has been a member of the church since 1980 and admitted he wasn’t expecting the Bible to be returned. “I hoped it was something to help fill our coffers,” Scott explained. “But it turned out to be a 200-year-old Bible which was of little monetary value but came with a major story behind it. It wouldn't have been an easy steal. It would have taken a bit of carrying, really.” He sent a reply to the address list on the envelope and said he hoped the thief’s conscience was now clear……..

- Whew. We dodged a bullet on that one, world. After the most predictable man-band reunion ever as ‘N Sync Town Boys Degrees took the stage together Sunday night at the MTV Video Music Awards, the world had to wonder if the reunion tour bug would strike the middle-aged popsters. The man-banders played a 15-minute greatest hits medley with snippets of singles 'Take Back The Night,’ 'SexyBack,’ 'Like I Love You,’ 'My Love,’ 'Cry Me A River,’ 'Señiorita' and 'Rock Your Body,’ completing a truly terrible night for music in which frontman Justin Timberlake took home the prize for Video Of The Year award, as well as the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, which he pledged to share with his former bandmates. "Half of the Moonmen I've ever won, I won with those four guys right there," Timberlake said, pointing to his bandmates. "I'm going to share this with them." Them would be former bandmates JC Chasez, Lance Bass, Chris Kirkpatrick and Joey Fatone, all of whom have properly faded back to irrelevance since the group broke up. Chasez confirmed the much-awaited news that the reunion was a one-off gig and nothing more. "It was just about five guys who were great friends, who spent 10 or 15 years together touring, and we wanted to give that back to our fans, but we were there mainly to support Justin," he said. "Literally just a few days ago, Justin gave me a buzz and he pretty much said, 'Hey man, listen, I'm getting this award and they've given me a pile of time to perform, and we started our careers at MTV and I think we should get the band back together.’” With man bands reuniting seemingly every day and touring the United States to torture the world with their crappy music all over again, it’s good to know this is one tour that won’t happen…….

Dictator Urban Meyer, Replacements reunite and deer riding in trucks

-->

- Urban Meyer is one of college football’s great dictators, with a heavy emphasis on the “dick” part of the equation. Channeling his inner fascist, Emperor Meyer has decreed that practice visitors of any sort clad in anything resembling the colors of rival Michigan are not welcome at Ohio State as long as he’s in charge. That apparel ban extends to fans, media members, and, reportedly, NFL scouts.  The policy came as a surprise to two NFL scouts who wore blue while observing Ohio State at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center this month and were given the choice to change their shirts or exit the premises. According to reports from witnesses, the scouts were told to change their shirts after staffers informed them of Meyer's rule and some Buckeyes players even yelled at them. Never mind those scouts were not actually wearing gear representing Michigan, the Buckeyes’ biggest rival, nor the fact that some of the players yelling at them may have been the very players the scouts were there to see. There is nothing like a scout assessing a player’s NFL potential only to have that player take time out of practice and berate him for the color of his shirt. Other NFL scouts who were not directly involved called the incident "embarrassing" and said it could have been avoided. "It's just not something that needed to happen," a scout said. "It could have been handled much better, and if that (blue-shirt) rule is going to be enforced, they could let us know." Potential bloodshed and violence were averted when the school gave the scouts Ohio State shirts to wear while watching practice………

- How good is this? North and South Korea may be on the precipice of war on a near-daily basis, but the two sides can play nice long enough to agree to allow reunions next month of families separated by the 1950-53 Korean War….to be decided by a reunion lottery. The meetings late last week were the first three years and the latest conciliatory gesture from the North after spending the spring threatening Seoul with missile strikes and nuclear war. Under the lottery system, 100 people from each country will be allowed to meet family members from Sept. 25 to 30 at North Korea's Diamond Mountain resort, according to South Korea's Unification Ministry, which is responsible for relations with the North. Additionally, 40 people from each side will also be allowed to hold talks by video conference on Oct. 22 and 23, and the countries agreed to meet later to discuss possible November reunions. The news comes with much relief for South Koreans who have gone decades with little or no word about loved ones in North Korea. Holding the lottery follows the North’s common pattern of threatening and menacing gestures, followed by friendly offers designed to win much-needed aid and diplomatic concessions. Millions of families have been separated since the Korean War after mass refugee movement in both directions. The two nations forbid citizens from exchanging mail, phone calls and email, so millions of people don’t know if their loved ones are alive or not. To meet their loves ones, South Koreans must apply for a permit, and a lottery is used to decide who will emerge victorious. Most of those applying for permits are over 70, and nearly 56,000 of the roughly 129,000 applicants have died. In the past, such reunions have been rife with embraced each other and shared news of their lives since separations. In addition to the lottery, the two Koreas also agreed Friday to work toward a "fundamental resolution" of the issue of separated families by making the reunions regular events and to allow families to exchange letters………

- A reunion of one of the most unappreciated punk rock bands of the part several decades took place Sunday night in Toronto as The Replacements played live for the first time in 22 years at the Toronto leg of alt-rock road show Riot Fest. Founding members Paul Westerberg and Tommy Stinson represented the band’s original lineup, with an assist from well-known session musicians Josh Freese and Dave Minehan. "Sorry it took us so long. For 25 years we've been having a wardrobe debate… unresolved," frontman Westerberg told the crowd. The band ripped through 23 tracks including 'Bastards Of Young', 'Can't Hardly Wait', 'Swingin Party', 'Alex Chilton' and covers of Chuck Berry's 'Maybellene' and The Sham's 'Borstal Breakout.’ The show was the first of at least three comeback gigs for the Mats, with show planned at Riot Fest Chicago on Sept. 15 and Riot Fest Denver on Sept. 21. For those ignorant of their beginnings, The Replacements formed in Minneapolis, Minnesota in 1979 and went on to release seven studio albums. Their most successful release, 1989’s “Don’t Tell a Soul,” peaked at No. 59 on the U.S. albums chart. With the sort of critical acclaim of fan following as The Ramones or Clash, the band played their final live show before breaking up in Chicago on July 21, 1991. Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong has hailed them as an influence on his own music (a better compliment before Green Day became mainstream sellouts) and said attending a Replacements gig "changed my whole life.” The Cribs, Goo Goo Dolls and They Might Be Giants have also credited the Mats as an influence. The band's original lead guitarist Bob Stinson, older brother of Tommy, passed away in 1995, hence the modified lineup for the “reunion” show…….

- Unless Chris Farley has come back to life and is traversing the United States selling brake pads with David Spade in a last-ditch effort to save his fathers auto parts company, deer typically do not end up in the back seats of cars. Yet that is precisely what happened a few days ago in Georgia, Vt. Four people were driving along normally on Route 104A in Georgia when their pickup truck suddenly became a ride for four humans and a hooved intruder who was likely just as shocked as his new riding buddies as to his location. All four people somehow avoided major injuries when the deer crashed through their windshield. According to police, the deer jumped into the road and was struck by a van. After the collision, the deer careened through the air and crashed into the truck, which was coming from the other direction. By the time it came to a sudden stop, the deer was in the back seat of the extended-cab truck. "They're pretty fortunate it appears that, you know, they're probably not seriously hurt," Georgia Fire Chief Keith Baker said. Following the collision, the four passengers - two adults and two children - were taken to a local hospital for evaluation. Just remember this incident the next time someone tries to tell you that life in a middle-of-nowhere place such as….er….um…..Georgia, Vt. is never exciting………

America thieves tradition, Lamar Odom nose dives and Swiss hookers

- So you’re saying there’s a plan? A lousy, ridiculous and straight-out-of-the-’70s plan, but there is a scheme in place to help out depressed Time Warner Cable customers in New York City, Los Angeles, Dallas, Boston, Chicago, Denver, Detroit and Pittsburgh who have been unable to watch some of their favorite shows for more than a month. On July 23, a contractual dispute between the cable provider and CBS escalated to the point that customers had CBS ripped from their channel lineup. Since then, negotiations have skidded to a near-halt as Time Warner and CBS debate how much the cable operator should pay to carry CBS programming in places where CBS owns local affiliates, including the blacked-out markets. When the curtain went down, viewers in impacted areas lost access to hit CBS shows such as "Under the Dome," "NCIS" and "The Big Bang Theory." After CBS rejected a truce offer from Time Warner Cable on Aug. 5, those suffering viewers began casting a wary eye toward the horizon of a new TV season in a few weeks and the chance that they would be unable to view the new seasons of favorite shows such as “Person of Interest” and “Survivor.” To provide an option in the event no deal is struck in between now and next month, Time Warner Cable is offering free antennas to any subscribers who want to watch CBS programming. The company offered the rabbit-ear antennas to customers in an email sent Friday. Time Warner Cable said that it is "making basic indoor antennas available at no cost," so viewers can watch CBS shows over the air. "We regret that CBS has put our customers in this position by continuing to withhold its channels," read the message. We are trying to strike a balance between our desire to restore the channels as soon as possible and our responsibility to all of our customers to hold down the rising cost of TV." As expected, Time Warner is painting CBS as the unreasonable one in the dispute, saying “cable TV bills would skyrocket” if it agreed to CBS’ demands……….

- Switzerland may be neutral on a few issues, but the business of hookers is not one of them. The neutral nation’s largest city is now home to its first sex drive-in. The business has opened in a bid to keep prostitutes safe and move the trade outside of Switzerland's biggest city. It consists of open wooden garages, popularly called "sex boxes" by the Swiss media, that will soon open on a first-come, first-serve basis, for drive-in customers, in the city where prostitution has been legal since 1942. Several dozen ladies of the night are expected to make it their new hub will stand along a short road in a small, circular park. The park was built for this specific purpose and clients will enter the former industrial area nestled between a rail yard and the fence along a major highway and negotiate prices for their deviant acts. Best of all, the park is publicly funded and includes bathrooms, lockers, small cafe tables and a laundry and shower. There will be no surveillance cameras, but hookers will be provided with a panic button and on-site social workers trained to look after them. They will also have to register and pay a small tax for use of the facility. Oddly enough, many Swiss view the project as good for everyone, as it gets hookers out of the city and makes for a safer environment for them as they sell their bodies like pieces of meat. Even more interesting, many Swiss visited an open house at the park to see what their tax money is paying for, as if it were open house at the local elementary school. Voters approved spending up to 2.4 million Swiss francs ($2.6 million) on the project last year and the city plans to spend 700,000 francs ($760,000) a year to keep the sex boxes running. The boxes are modeled after the drive-in brothels used in several cities in Germany and the Netherlands and will be open daily from 7 p.m. to 5 a.m………

- Soooo….Lamar Odom has issues. First, the forward is a free agent with professional, personal and emotional baggage who must now convince an NBA team to take a chance on him even as it becomes painfully clear he is on the downside of his career. Oh, and there is also the rumor that he is in a Los Angeles hotel where friends are trying to get him help for an unspecified drug problem. That report broke Monday even as Odom's agent refuted a report that his client had been missing for 72 hours after a dispute with his wife Khloe Kardashian. He and Kardashian may or may not be estranged and their lives have been played out on reality TV virtually since their engagement because her attention-whorish family can’t get enough of the reality spotlight. With his marriage potentially on the rocks after multiple alleged affairs, Odom is allegedly AWOL, although agent Jeff Schwartz insisted otherwise. "Lamar is not missing. His wife knows exactly where he is,” Schwartz said. He refused to reveal his client’s whereabouts, but Kardashian reacted angrily on Twitter to ongoing speculation about her husband, saying: "Really hard to sit here and listen to people talk s--- about my family." What’s really funny is that talking sh*t about her family is all anyone does because that’s exactly what the Kardashian clan wants, thus their inescapable presence on E! in all manner of reality programming. As for Odom, he could well be on a sugar bender somewhere, as he is a noted candy addict who stashes pounds and pounds of sweets all around him. In fact, those claiming he’s doing drugs should probably make sure that’s cocaine he’s (allegedly) using and not just a jumbo case of pixie sticks he’s main-lining. Wherever he is, Schwartz said Odom plans on continuing his career. "Playing in the NBA is still very much a part of Lamar's plans,” Schwartz added. Odom, who played with the Clippers last season, has been pursued in free agency this summer by both the Clippers and the Lakers……..

- Aaaand America’s shameless attempt to rip off another nation’s proud tradition is off and running….and stumbling….and falling….and being rushed to the hospital. Yes, the United States of America, land of the free and the culturally cannibalizing, is trying to thieve another nation’s culture once more, this time the annual running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. The real version takes place in early July in Pamplona at the San Fermin festival, but an American rip-off of the run took place in Dinwiddie County, Va. on Saturday. The first Great Bull Run in Dinwiddie County kicked off Saturday at 11 a.m. and wrapped up with a final run around 3:30 p.m. at the Virginia Motorsports Park. Just like the real run, there were a few fools injured and two of them were rushed to the hospital after the final run. One person was trampled and  Dinwiddie County Fire and EMS officials confirmed two people taken to the hospital from injuries directly related to the run. Several dozen more went to first aid themselves for minor cuts and bruises, although no one was gored severely. Initially, the bulls appeared calm, but once they became accustomed to the track, the beasts perked up. Hundreds of runners raced through the pen, coming within feet of the half-ton bulls as the animals ran through. Unlike the real race, there was no run down stone-paved, narrow old streets with few places to escape and onlookers staring down from above and enjoying some sangria. A few runners were lifted off the ground and thrown in the air by the bulls, but the Humane Society was on hand to observe the run and make sure the animals - not the humans - were not harmed. Of course, striking or assaulting the bulls is a surefire way to get booted from the course in Pamplona, so the two events did have that in common. This was the first event of its kind in the U.S., although more are planned………

Ben Affleck hate, Ryan Braun's apology and guinea pigs + salmonella

-->

- Boy, that escalated quickly. It jumped up a notch, didn’t it? Within 24 hours of Warner Bros. announcing the curious choice of Ben Affleck to play Batman in the forthcoming “Batman vs. Superman” movie, the movie fan base reacted quickly and angrily. One day after the revelation, an online petition to oust Affleck from a role he hasn’t even filled for one second yet had already amassed over 30,000 signatures. The studio announced Friday that Affleck will join Henry Cavill's Superman in the sequel to “Man of Steel” instead of possible alternatives such as Ryan Gosling, Josh Brolin and (if he had accepted a reported $60 million offer and changed his mind about being done with the role) Christian Bale. Bale has remained adamant that his is done as the caped crusader and fans probably would have accepted a few alternatives, but not Affleck. Ludlow, Ky. resident Jon Roden is the man behind the petition, which he posted on change.org and titled "Warner Brothers: Remove Ben Affleck as Batman/Bruce Wayne in the Superman/Batman movie.” The title is self-explanatory, but the reasoning behind it is not, so Roden explained his rationale. "His acting skill is not even close to being believable as Bruce Wayne and he won't do the role justice," Ludlow said. "He's not built, nor is he intimidating enough for the role of Batman. His portrayal of Daredevil was atrocious and he's not remotely close to an action star. Please find someone else." To make sure he wasn’t insulting Affleck (too much), Ludlow updated the page to "add that this petition was not meant in any way to harm Ben Affleck or his career.” It’s a hilarious addition and couldn’t be more bogus, but the petition has collected 30,087 signatures. There is time for the petition to grow and do its intended job, as director Zack Snyder isn't due to start shooting the film until next year with stars Amy Adams, Laurence Fishburne and Diane Lane alongside Cavill and Affleck………

- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Technically, there isn't a full-on riot yet, but Europe is headed that way as the debate over fracking crosses the Atlantic Ocean. The debate has raged in Pennsylvania and much of the United States for some time, but it has now sparked threats to use Molotov cocktails in Poland, a civil disobedience workshop in affluent rural England and an Irish farmer with a sick child moved to become an eco-campaigner. Those are the early headlines from Europe’s response to the much-debated oil industry practice. Fracking has united enviro-nuts with farmers and even white-collar citizens concerned about house prices and “the industrialization of the countryside.” Rumors of Russian money financing anti-fracking groups in Bulgaria to help keep prices for its gas exports high have arisen and the United Kingdom is the new battle front for the fracking fight. The British government facilitated that by lifting a ban imposed when the procedure was linked to a series of earthquakes in northwest England. For the fracking-ignorant, the process involves forcing water and chemicals into the ground to shatter rocks like shale and release natural gas trapped inside. Opponents argue that it poses a risk to water supplies, causes air pollution and flies in the face of the fight against climate change, worse even than coal. Supporters contend that it is safe, has been carried out for decades largely without problems, and could actually help reduce carbon emissions. The leader of the No Dash for Gas campaign group, Brit Chris Peters, took part in a five-day protest last week against exploratory drilling that might eventually lead to fracking at a site near the village of Balcombe, Sussex, in rural England. The protest itself was unimpressive, drawing a mere 1,000 people, including some from Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Poland. However, it did offer workshops in “methods of civil disobedience, direct action and various campaign strategies,” which could be good launching points for the aforementioned Molotov cocktail throwers. So far, the violence hasn’t materialized, but give Europe time because rioting is something its people do well……..

- Who could possibly have seen this coming? A street festival in Minnesota that was aimed at bringing a little-known Central American culture to one of America’s coldest and whitest states and which involved the words “street vendor” and “guinea pig met” ended horribly? This surefire recipe for success happened earlier this month at a celebration of Ecuadorian Independence Day. The party included vendors selling (allegedly) traditional ethnic foods and one of them was guinea pig meat. Details are still coming out, but the bottom line is that dozens of people fell sick after consuming the meat. At least 81 people have been hospitalized for severe gastrointestinal symptoms after eating guinea pig meat served by a festival vendor and according to the Minnesota Department of Health, many of those people tested positive for salmonella poisoning. Although health officials haven’t yet identified the vendor, finding him or her shouldn’t be that difficult because even at an Ecuadorian festival, how many carts or trailers are there where a person can stroll up to the counter and utter the words, “I’ll have a guinea pig taco,” or “Give me a Giggles the Guinea Pig Burger?” Finding the culprit will be easier given that the incident took place at the New York Plaza Produce on the 1300 block of East Lake Street, meaning someone there who works in the food industry should have an insight or two about what went down. The lesson, as always, is that anything that could be in your home as a pet should be thoroughly and expertly cooked by a professional, trained chef in an expensive restaurant before you eat it for dinner……..

- No one is buying disgraced Milwaukee Brewers’ slugger Ryan Braun’s too-late, “I’ve been lying to you all along and then lying about my lies” admission that he really did intentionally cheat with performance-enhancing drugs, but give a few of his teammates credit for acting like they accept his mea culpa. Braun admitted he took a cream and lozenge with a banned substance in them, but didn’t identify the substance or where he got them. He also didn’t specify how many times he took them, only that they helped him recover from an injury. In spite of those gaping holes, a pair of Brewers said Braun’s apology was good enough for them. "I thought it was a good first step on the road to redemption, I guess you could say," catcher Jonathan Lucroy said. Lucroy is one of several Brewers who have stayed in touch with Braun by phone since he agreed to Major League Baseball's 65-game suspension on June 22. "Knowing Ryan and understanding Ryan, I'm going to be able to move forward and I hope other people will be able too," reliever John Axford said. Axford said he believes the statement should offer closure on the matter, which is either incredibly naïve or just plan dishonest on his part. Then again, he’s just being a good teammate. Manager Ron Roenicke had Braun’s back as well. "It certainly was enough for me," Roenicke said. "I think it's enough for his teammates. He's made some calls to his teammates. "I think no matter what he says, there's going to be some negative from a lot of people still: 'He didn't say enough (or) he didn't explain himself enough.' I think he did. And I also think there are some things he probably still can't say. As I read into how he said it, I think there are some things that probably he can't bring up. That's OK with me." Lucroy added that Braun will be welcomed back quicker by his teammates than he will be by others outside the team, which also makes sense because he’s still a good player who can help them win games when he returns next season and for players, winning games trumps all else……..

Arresting 2 Chainz, motor-powered surfboards and Congress v. the NFLPA

- Blow suppliers around the world suffered a huge blow Friday when a stash of cocaine worth an estimated $330 million has was yacht on the South Pacific island of Vanuatu in a joint operation involving Australia and the United States. Yes, the same Vanuatu that was once the site of a season of “Survivor.” In the present, the island was the site of the seizure of more than 1,600 pounds of the Bolivian marching powder, which were discovered concealed in engine compartments and the keel area of the vessel, called “Raj.” The task force that made the bust had been working with South Pacific nations since 2010 “to investigate organized crime syndicates using yachts and similar vessels travelling through the region with cocaine shipments bound for Australia,” an official statement said. In July, the task force received intelligence that led them to begin “Operation Basco,” targeting the Raj. DEA Senior Attache David Cali was more than happy to puff out his chest and proclaim that the seizure of a ginormous pile of Colombian nose candy sent a strong message to organized crime gangs. “This seizure is another fine example of the successes achieved when international law enforcement collaborates to rid our societies of the evils of drugs,” Cali said in the statement. “Organized crime syndicates should know that we are prepared, willing and able to combine our skills, resources and efforts to target them.” Not to be outdone, Karen Harfield, Australian customs’ national director of compliance and enforcement, chimed in with her own statement. “It doesn’t matter how sophisticated the concealment – and these drugs were particularly well-hidden – law enforcement authorities have access to the intelligence, tools and expertise to find and seize them,” Harfield added. Amazingly enough, no arrest have yet been made, which seems odd because all of that cocaine has to belong to someone and so does the boat……….

- Oh good, Congress is threatening to accomplish something, look the hell out. Never mind that Congress never accomplishes anything; our nation’s elected officials are vowing to step in because the NFL and NFL Players Association can't get their sh*t together on HGH testing. Specifically, the top Democrat on the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee is making threats to that effect because the NFLPA is "holding HGH testing hostage" after more than two years of squabbling with the league over the issue. Rep. Elijah Cummings of Maryland said the union "continues to disregard its promise to implement HGH testing” and as a result, Congress may have to step in. "Continuing to block HGH testing in this way essentially will force Congress to intervene, which nobody wants,” Cummings added. The situation has become even more clogged up since the oversight committee held a hearing in December to take a look at the science behind blood tests for human growth hormone. Testing for HGH is mildly important because it is, after all, a banned performance-enhancing drug that is hard to detect and has been linked to health problems such as diabetes, cardiac dysfunction and arthritis. So far, two seasons have passed sans testing since the August 2011 labor deal paved the way for it. Cummings cited  "extraordinary concessions from the NFL, numerous meetings with Members of Congress, and a parade of experts verifying the validity of HGH testing” and laid the blame at the NFLPA’s feet. "After two years of negotiations, the NFLPA is now holding HGH testing hostage because of matters wholly unrelated to testing,” Cummings added. The main issue at the moment continues to be whether commissioner Roger Goodell -- or someone he designates -- will continue to hear appeals for violations other than a positive test. At present, Adolpho Birch, the NFL senior vice president of labor policy and government affairs, and George Atallah, the NFLPA assistant executive director of external affairs, are the ones trying to hammer out a final deal………

- California and surfing have always been a natural fit. Surfing-centric inventions are also a natural fit for the Sunshine State and Solana Beach native Mike Railey is continuing the tradition. Railey has finally finished an idea he began working on 13 years ago, putting the technology of a WaveRunner watercraft into his surfboard. The powered surfboard is the result and Railey said the process of creating it was a dodgy one at times. "I went down to the hobby shop, bought all the parts, glued it in my board and it leaked and barely worked," Railey said. After nine years of hard work, setbacks and revised ideas, the WaveJet was perfected. The board features two small engines that suck in water from the ocean and churn it back out from the belly of the board. The WaveJet’s engine is built in nearby Santee and it is also wireless in the sense that it sports a Bluetooth wristband that turns the engine on and off with a press of a button. With the engine, riders have up to 20 pounds of thrust -- enough to let them stand up on their board as they ride out over the breakers without paddling. Having artificial power also allows folks to surf when conditions might be too much for human power. "I'm able to go out on really big days where it's a struggle to get out or even get into the wave," Railey said. So far, Railey has sold more than 600 WaveJets at a price of $4,500. Lifeguards in North Carolina and Rhode Island are using the board to save lives because they can hold on to a person while the WaveJet does all the paddling. Another solid use for the product is allowing people with disabilities to surf. Railey is also working on a jet to power ocean kayaks………

- Fish in a barrel, eh Oklahoma City police? In one of the cheapest and easiest arrests ever, OKC’s finest arrested rapper 2 Chainz - real name Tauheed Epps - after finding pot on his tour bus. Yes, one of the biggest stoner rappers on the scene and one who performed with Lil Wayne and T.I. in Oklahoma City on Wednesday evening, was arrested for drug possession. How the cops ever cracked that case, the world will never know. The incident began when Epps refused to get off his tour bus after officers stopped the vehicle as it approached a local motorway at around midnight because of an illegal taillight. When they approached the bus, officers noticed signs of drug use. The driver was arrested immediately, but according to Sgt. Jennifer Wardlow, the other passengers prevented police officers from entering the bus by closing and locking the interior door. It was a brilliant strategy that somehow failed when the police towed the bus to a nearby police training center and investigators obtained a warrant. All 11 people on board were arrested around 9 a.m. and were booked into Oklahoma County Jail. They were charged with obstructing a police officer and will likely face drug charges in the days ahead. For now, those charges are stalled out because even though drugs were found on the bus - shocker - officers don't know which of the passengers they belonged to. Epps seems a likely suspect, as he has already been arrested for marijuana possession twice this year: first in Maryland in February, and then again in Los Angeles in June. All of these arrest can only build his street cred as he prepares to release his second studio album, “B.O.A.T.S. II: Me Time” on Sept. 10………

R Kelly muses, Ichiro achieves and ginormous Chinese temples

 - Ichiro Suzuki has been an interesting character throughout his baseball career, a figure cloaked in mystery whose odd approach at the plate has made him one of the best hitters in baseball for two decades. His skills have been on display since debuting in 1992 for the Orix Buffaloes of Japanese Pacific League and he left in 1999 to sign with the Seattle Mariners. With a single to left off Toronto Blue Jays starter R.A. Dickey in the first inning, Suzuki joined Pete Rose and Ty Cobb as the only players with 4,000 career hits in the highest levels of professional baseball. Even though his hits are split between Japan and the American major leagues, the game was stopped as Suzuki received a standing ovation and his Ichiro's teammates bounded out from the home dugout and met him at first base to give him hugs and high fives. Clearly, his refusal to speak English to reporters after 14 years playing in the U.S. and his odd fashion habits - pink man purses included - haven’t led to him being an outsider in his own clubhouse. "It was supposed to be a night that was special to me," he said through a translator after going 1-for-4 in the Yankees' 4-2 win. "But you know what happened tonight, I wasn't expecting when my teammates came out to first base, that was very special. To see the fans, I wasn't expecting so much joy and happiness from them. That's what made it very special tonight. Not just the number, but all the things that happened with it. That came with it. It was very special." Of his 4,000 hits, 2,722 are major league hits and he also surpassed Lou Gehrig for sole possession of 59th place on the all-time major-league hit list. With one more season remaining on his two-year, $13 million deal, he has an outside chance at 3,000 hits in MLB despite turning 40 on Oct. 1. He made it clear he isn't chasing Rose’s career hits total. "It's not a goal that I have," Ichiro said of catching Rose. "It's not a number that I'm looking at. I'm just coming to the ballpark every day, seeing if I'm in the lineup, keeping my schedule so that I'm in the lineup so that I can perform and do what I can to contribute to this team.” Whatever you say, Ichiro……


- R Kelly believes he can fly, he likes creeping on people while trapped in closets and he believes that a rising electro-indie band has much in common with the most iconic act in rock history. Kelly, who recently worked with French indie rockers Phoenix and made an unexpected guest appearance with the band at this year's Coachella Festival in California, compared Phoenix to The Beatles in a new interview discussing their recent collaborations. He did an odd mash-up at Coachella, performing his song “Ignition (Remix)” over the top of Phoenix's “1901.” He clearly thinks highly of his new friends, with whom he worked on a remix of “Trying to Be Cool,” a track from Phoenix’s latest album “Bankrupt!” Kelly admitted that he did not know much about the band prior to being invited to perform with them, but has quickly becomes a fan of their work. "I'm a lover of all sorts of music, which makes me a chameleon when it comes to performing anything, whether it's opera or whatever. As long as it's good and it feels good, I'm going to cling to it. But what shocked me was the fact that they wanted me on their record. I was honored," he said. Not only was he honored, but Kelly believes Phoenix are similar to the Beatles in at least one respect and he feels qualified to comment based on the fact that he has worked with some other big names in music. "There's the Michael Jacksons and the Ronald Isleys and all the other people that I've collaborated with,” he concluded. “Don’t get me wrong: I've worked with a lot of talent out there. But when you have a gift, it’s different than just having talent. [Phoenix] are gifted – they've got that Beatles thing going on. You can't explain it.” No, and we can’t explain you either, R………


- The common man’s opinion really doesn’t matter in China, but that doesn’t mean the locals in one neighborhood in southeastern China aren’t enraged by what they perceive as a double standard in housing law application. The target of their ire is an elaborate temple-like structure perched on an apartment block in their area. Those against the structure are hopeful of having it taken down much like to the result opponents of a similar rooftop folly in Beijing that was built to resemble a mountain idyll had earlier this year. This second temple in Shenzhen is believed to have been on the roof for about seven years, but it is in the spotlight due to complaints from neighbors motivated after a case earlier his month in which a Beijing was given 15 days to demolish his 88,600-square-foot house and garden built illegally atop a 26-story apartment block. The Shenzhen temple is supposed to be a public space, but the oh, so common fingerprint-activated lock stops others from accessing it. Chen Jiatao, chairman of the complex's housing management committee, insisted the temple owner must resolve the matter by opening the space to other residents, although he admitted there is little hope of that happening. "I once spoke with the past chairman, who was here for seven years," Chen said. "He said this to me: 'Oh my, don't you know? This person is an official, he has friends in high places.' So it's useless." Ah, big-timing the poor folk because a blatant disregard for laws and regulations by the rich and well-connected is how China rolls, gotta love it. Those arguing against the temple have cited safety concerns, including the fact that for residents on higher floors, the roof would be the main escape route in case of fire, while the added weight from the illegal structure could threaten the building's stability. Oh, and the rooftop temple exists atop a building where apartments sell for around $4,900 per square meter and the rooftop itself is worth more than $2.45 million, so there’s that as well………


- The Man is fighting The Man in Texas and the battle is over the Lone Star State’s requirement that voters show identification at the polls. In response to the new law, the Obama administration has vowed to sue to halt the law, which was put in place following a U.S. Supreme Court ruling this year that threw out a key part of a landmark federal law. The Justice Department said it had already put in motion a plan to seek a court order declaring that the strict 2011 Texas law violates the Voting Rights Act and certain constitutional guarantees. "Today's action marks another step forward in the Justice Department's continuing effort to protect the voting rights of all eligible Americans," Attorney General Eric Holder said in a statement. “The department will take action against jurisdictions that attempt to hinder access to the ballot box, no matter where it occurs.” Texas’ law came after a divided 5-4 Supreme Court in June invalidated the formula used to determine which states or local jurisdictions could remain under special federal oversight, requiring approval from Washington before they can change voting procedures. By muting much of the government's enforcement power in states that have historically discriminated at the polls, the court opened a major Pandora’s box and Texas ripped the lid clean off. It is still illegal to discriminate against a person when it comes to voting, but states now have more of a gray area in which to discriminate - which they could do against someone of any skin color, not jus gray. The administration’s plan to use a different section of the Voting Rights Act that allows federal authorities to ask a judge to order a state to be placed under the preclearance regime is possible, but in order to do so the Justice Department must prove "purposeful" discrimination. Texas, which is the subject of two ongoing court fights over its voter identification law and the voting boundaries created by the legislature, will be the first big test of the principle. Texas Gov. Rick Perry slammed the lawsuit within hours of Holder’s statement. "The filing of endless litigation in an effort to obstruct the will of the people of Texas is what we have come to expect from Attorney General Eric Holder and President Obama," Perry said in a statement. "We will continue to defend the integrity of our elections against this administration's blatant disregard for the 10th Amendment." And if that fails, just use your arsenal of guns to solve the problem, Texas……..

NBA fashion, Canadian fraud and big Batman money

- New York City is relentless - and no just its busy streets and insane real estate prices. Now, NYC is weighing a 10-cent surcharge on plastic bags, a la many European cities. The city council wants grocery and retail stores to charge customers 10 cents for each plastic bag they use, with the dual aims of a) padding their own city’s pockets and b) (allegedly) cutting own on the 100,000 tons of plastic bags the city pays $10 million a year to put into landfills and to clean up the city. New York’s move toward a complete nanny state has already included the brilliant (a smoking ban) and the moronic (a ban on oversized sugary drinks), but this is a turn in a different direction. Council members who support it insist the new law is not a tax because the stores will keep the money. Then again, does anyone who would have to pay the money care where it goes? Some shoppers have expressed support for the plan, but others have noted that the practice is already in place in Connecticut and they believe it is an unfair one. Sure, making shoppers double-clutch on the decision to use another bag is prudent in an environmental sense, either in compelling people to bring reusable bags with them or recycle plastic bags on their own, but is there really a need to make daily living in one of the world priciest cities even more expensive? The lone exception for the new law would be folks on food stamps, but the overall goal would be convincing everyone to switch to reusable bags and not simply changing to paper bags that still have to be hauled away for recycling. Supporters of the bill cite the success of the concept in other cities, but the National Federation of Independent called the proposed law a tax that will hurt consumers and small businesses. It will be formally introduced Thursday………

- How much money can Christian Bale say no to? The British-born actor made it clear after the last in his trio of “Batman” movies wrapped that he was done playing Gotham’s caped crusader. Bale and director Christopher Nolan both said they were walking away even though the powers that be behind the franchise never said they were ending it with their two top stars leaving. Now, Warner Bros. is desperate to win back Bale as Batman and executives are reportedly willing to pay upwards of $60 million to make him change his mind. The plan is to have Bale star alongside “Man of Steel” leading man Henry Cavill in the upcoming “Batman vs. “Superman” action hero epic. Sources near the project said Bale feels immense pressure to take the offer, as would anyone who was basically having a fleet of Brinks trucks backed up to their door for a few months of work on a movie. Part of Bale’s reasoning for walking away from arguably the most lucrative gig of his career was his desire not to be pigeonholed as Batman, a notion executives plan to counter by arguing that Robert Downey Jr. has managed to avoid that fate despite appearing in four “Iron Man” films - three in a leading role and one in “The Avengers” - in less than a decade. Bale is every bit the actor Downey is and would most certainly get offers for other projects, ones that don’t involve any capes, masks or superheroes, when he finished work on “Batman vs. Superman.” Oh, and even if he didn’t, $60 million or so and being known as the face of one of the best action franchises in years would be a pretty nice capper to a career…….

- Staging "one of the largest international penny stock frauds and advance fee schemes in history,” eh two shady Canadians? That is what two Canucks have been accused of after being arrested Wednesday in Thailand. The alleged thieves are Canadians accused of scamming more than $140 million by selling worthless penny stocks to people around the globe at pumped-up prices, federal authorities in New York said. Gregory Curry, who had been hiding out in Thailand for 14 years, was arrested Tuesday at his ex-wife's house in Kabin Buri district in the eastern province of Prachin Buri, Lt. Col. Kanaphat Phahumunto said. "His Thai wife told police he paid her 20,000 baht ($630) to find a place for him to hide and we found him on Tuesday morning at his ex-wife's residence," Kanaphat said. Sandy Winick, the suspected mastermind of the plot, was apprehended by Thai police on Saturday. The two men are the core of a nine-man posse identified by the FBI as those who allegedly set up a fake law firm that charged victims them to try to get their money back. The first seven suspects were arrested last week in North America. "[Winick and Curry] thought that they could simply run away from their crimes. Today, with the help of our friends in Thai law enforcement, we once again showed that fraudsters cannot hide from the law," U.S. Attorney Loretta E. Lynch said in a statement issued Tuesday. Law enforcement officials FBI called the scam "one of the largest international penny stock frauds and advance fee schemes in history” and now, all nine suspects will have their day in court for their alleged crimes against the world……..

- The NBA is moving forward with its fashion and one of the league’s premier franchises is at the front of the pack. The Los Angeles Lakers have won more championships than any franchise other than the Boston Celtics, but their immense tradition won’t stand in the way of them becoming one of the teams rocking short-sleeve jerseys designed by adidas next season. The Lakers will follow in the footsteps of Golden State, which was the only team in the league to wear the jerseys last season, and will be one of the 10 teams scheduled to play on Christmas day that will wear the short-sleeve creations. Sources confirmed that the team will wear the new-look gear multiple times next season. According to adidas, the uniforms are 26 percent lighter than the traditional NBA jersey. For the Lakers, the new tops will be white, the same color as the alternative uniforms the Lakers introduced for the 2002-03 season and traditionally wear on Sundays. Of course, this change may matter at the team shop and NBA.com online store, but it won't help the Lakers replace the departed Dwight Howard or win games if Kobe Bryant isn’t healthy to start he season as he recovers from an Achilles’ tendon tear. A history full of with Hall of Famers and championships galore won't change that either, but maybe a new look will help in some respect. The Phoenix Suns, who recently redesigned their jersey, are also among the teams reportedly set to wear the short-sleeve uniforms. A total of 17 teams experimented with the look jerseys during summer league this offseason and depending on how often the mood strikes them, the Lakers may wear them as many as 12 times during the 2013-14 campaign. Ironically, Lakers point guard Steve Nash suggested last season that each player should be able to choose his own uniform preference and insisted he had no problem with the league abandoning tradition by changing the cut of the jerseys………

Maria Sharapova isn't a moron, NIN may S-U-C-K and shutting down street performer kooks

- A fake weapon created some real drama in Germany on Monday when special forces ended a standoff after a man claiming to be armed took several people hostage at a town hall, the “Altes Rathaus” in the southeastern city of Ingolstadt, near where Chancellor Angela Merkel was due to attend an election campaign event. The kook in question was not identified, but his age was given as 24 and police said he is and known to the authorities, as he had stalked a female employee at the town hall in the past. The suspect had been in touch with police by phone after the incident, which began at 9 a.m. local time. Merkel was se3cheduled to attend the election event on Monday afternoon, but police have not confirmed that her visit was directly related to the incident. Either way, one hostage escaped from the town hall and police were able to convince the suspect to release a second one. His gun was later determined to be a fake, although the knife he was toting proved to be very real. Thankfully, the suspect was the only person injured in the incident. He was taken down after police intervened and is alive. Police chief Günther Gietl said the weapon the hostage taker claimed to have was a fake, but did not elaborate on a possible motive or go into detail about how the incident unfolded. Merkel has become an increasingly divisive figure in Deutschland of late, but this is the first fake-gun-based hostage taking she has managed to inspire so far. As long as she keeps drinking lots of beer and eating lots of sausage legal, she shouldn’t have to worry about a coup…….

- Buy your tickets now for the upcoming Nine Inch Nails shows around the world. Trent Reznor and his bandmates are going to create a memorable evening, one way or the other. Reznor has conceded that that the band's new stage show could either be "the best thing ever" or a "spectacular disaster” and either one would be a night to recall fondly for fans. The band’s new show will debut this weekend at the Reading and Leeds festivals in the United Kingdom. Reznor explained that the new-look show is inspired by Talking Heads' 1983 Stop Making Sense tour and has been redesigned from scratch to work specifically to work outdoors. "In terms of physical components, it's actually low-tech," Reznor said. "It's either going to be the best thing ever or a spectacular disaster." Back in 2009, the combustible frontman declared the end of Nine Inch Nails as a touring entity. He knew that reversing field and going back out on the road would likely lead to extensive criticism. "I guess I was ready for the backlash... I mean, I've seen The Cure on about eight different farewell tours. Kiss about 10," he said. Before heading to Reading and Leeds, NIN played play an intimate gig at London's Scala and a set at Belsonic Festival in Belfast. Prior to hitting the festival circuit in the U.K., NIN released a new track unimaginatively titled “Everything.” It is the latest teaser from their forthcoming album “Hesitation Marks,” which is set to drop Sept. 3. It is their first album since 2008’s “The Slip” and features guest appearances by bassist Pino Palladino, who regularly plays with The Who, and Fleetwood Mac guitarist Lindsey Buckingham……… 

- God bless you, city officials in Sacramento. You are expunging one of life’s true absurdities from your streets merely by ENFORCING A LAW THAT WAS ALREADY ON THE BOOK. City codes already mandate that say street performers and vendors aren’t allowed in Old Sacramento, but no one has been doing anything about the freaks who paint themselves gold and stand like a statue for seven hours for $6.50 in tips or the con artists who play they shell game and sucker in unsuspecting tourists with low IQs - until now. These street freaks are officially getting the boot, as all permits for such individuals have been revoked. Local businesses stand to profit and have pushed for the eviction of their mobile competitors by claiming that street vendors undermine “legitimate” shops. “[On] New Year’s Eve or something like that you’ll have people set up tables with merchandise, selling 100 bucks worth of stuff while we pay rent and pay taxes, and they are here on events where we can make extra money and they take it away from us,” said Dennis Larson, who runs an immobile ice cream shop. In the past, street vendors and performers were warned if they were considered to be blocking access. They also should have been warned that they were embarrassing themselves, their families, their city, their nation and the human race, but all of this facts may have already been obvious to folks such as the human Statue of Liberty or Three-Card Theo on the street corner. Rather than issue warnings for first offenses and $100 fines for a second offense, better to get rid of these losers entirely………

- Give Maria Sharapova credit for still being hot and not being a moron.  The Russian tennis hottie with a green card and a mansion in Florida has made the brilliant decision decided not to change her last name to Sugarpova for the US Open next week. And why would a successful professional athlete with multiple major championshipps to her credit change her name a week before one of the biggest events of the year? Because Sugarpova is to the name of her candy company. Sugarpova, a premium line of gummy candies and gum, has caught on quickly since she introduced it last year and sold 1.8 million bags of its candy around the world in North America, Europe and Asia. The brand will expand to South America later this year and clearly, Sharapova and her agent, Max Einsbud, want to cash in as much as possible even if it makes her look like a pub-hungry ass hat along the lines of former NFL receiver Chad Ochocinco. In the end, sanity won out - for now. "Maria has pushed her team to do fun, out-of-the-box-type things to get the word out about Sugarpova," Eisenbud said. "In Miami, we're going to fill a glass truck full of candy and drive it around town. This was an idea that fell along those lines. But, at the end of the day, we would have to change all her identification, she has to travel to Japan and China right after the tournament and it was going to be very difficult." In other words, getting the Sugarpova passport in time was going to be tough, so we held off for now. In order to change her name, Sharapova would have had to file a name change petition in the state, submit fingerprints, have a background check and have a hearing before a judge. He the judge approved the request and signed an order, the name change would be official. On the surface, a women’s tennis player has as short a shelf life as most anyone outside of a gymnast and squeezing as much money out of it as possible makes sense, but there are lengths that no one should go to, even a tennis player, in favor of personal dignity. Even without the name change, Sharapova earned an estimated $29 million from June 2012 to June of this year, according to Forbes Magazine, the highest amount earned by a female athlete. That plus not looking like a total tool should be enough for a girl who already has so much…….