- Developing apps is more than a cottage industry at this
point; anyone with any technological know-how is working on a great app to
entertain, amuse or inform the masses. Go ahead and add a drunk-driving app to
the list and no, it’s not an app that helps you avoid areas where police are
patrolling or DUI checkpoints when you get behind the wheel hammered, although
that could be useful. No, this app is able
to tell you you're blood alcohol content by simply scanning your eyes. It’s
called BreathalEyes and the Pima County (Ariz.) Sheriff's Department is using a
technique similar to the one used by the app. "Today we're running what's
called a wet workshop where we bring volunteers in. They're dosed with a known
amount of alcohol," Sgt. Jason Dowdy said at a public workshop. At the
workshop, deputies kept track of the number of drinks and the volunteers' blood
alcohol concentrations by using breathalyzers throughout and once the
participants were sufficiently sauced, the deputies tested on their field
sobriety skills like the walk and turn, balancing on one foot and the eye test.
"On a sober person, the eyeball will just sit there, however if you've
been drinking or ingesting alcohol to a certain level, the alcohol will actually
cause the eye to jerk,” Dep. Randall Nice explained. The eye test used at the
workshop is the same one the BreathalEyes app uses to judge users’ blood-alcohol
concentration and in informal testing, the app showed inconsistent performance
in being able to match the BAC registered by a breathalyzer test. "The
accuracy is definitely questionable at best," Dowdy added. To protect
themselves legally, the designers of the app make it clear that it is to be
used for entertainment purposes only, because hearing an inaccurate report on
whether you or a friend is too drunk to drive is always funny and definitely
funnier than watching a drunk person embarrass themselves in a public setting
by dancing on a table while singing some White Snake………
- Speaking of drunk people…..flights are definitely a place
where a few people show up with a BAC higher than the legal limit to drive. Coincidentally,
flights are also places where drunk people do a lot of stupid sh*t and cause
problems that lead to their flights being delayed or forced into emergency
landings and them being arrested once the plane touches down. Thus, it really
shouldn’t surprise anyone that video has surfaced from a San Diego-bound flight that shows passengers jumping
up and down mid-flight in an impromptu rendition of the Harlem Shake. As with
all of the bad Harlem Shake parodies floating around YouTube, the video starts
out slowly, with a young man wearing a mask dancing in the aisle of a plane. Seconds
later, nearly everyone on the flight from Denver to San Diego unbuckles their
seat belt and starts jumping up and down like maniacs. All of this happened
when the plane was tens of thousands of feet in the air, leading flight safety
experts to marvel at how the crew lost control of the cabin and allowed a bunch
of idiots who didn’t mind going viral with a truly ridiculous version of one of
the more absurd parodies of one of the worst Internet phenomena in recent
memory. Still, a Frontier Airlines spokeswoman insisted that, "All safety
measures were followed and the seat belt sign was off.” Either Frontier isn’t
too concerned about a loss of pressurization in the cabin because of the sudden
and drastic shift of a massive amount of weight mid-flight. Not surprisingly, a
group of college students were behind the stunt and members of Colorado College's
Frisbee team led the charge on this one. Now, federal officials and the
National Transportation Safety Board will have to determine whether the video
necessitates any further action………
- Chris Johnson has been here before and seen his boasts and
guarantees of great accomplishments go over the edge of the cliff, bursting
into flame below. His biggest brag came in 2009, when he rushed for 2,006 yards and said he believed he
would break Eric Dickerson's all-time single-season rushing record of 2,105
yards the following year. Instead, Johnson rushed for 1,364 yards that season
and hasn’t sniffed 2,000 yards since. He also famously talked smack to the
world’s fastest man, Usain Bolt, and suggested he could beat Bolt in a race.
That contest never happened, but that doesn’t mean Johnson is toning down his
rhetoric. In fact, he has been inspired by the near-record-breaking season
Vikings running back Adrian Peterson had last year. Peterson threatened the
all-time rushing record with his 2,097 yards in a season where he was coming
off surgery for a torn ACL just eight months prior and that has Johnson
thinking it will be he and not Peterson who shatters Dickerson’s mark. "Of
course, '2K," Johnson said, referring to his nickname -- CJ2K. "I've
always been a confident guy ... if you want something to happen you have to
speak on it, you have to believe in it. You just got to pray and God will lead
you there. I know the type of guy that I am, the type of back that I am and if
the situation is right I know I can do it." He said he was "very
confident" in his ability to break the record and to best Peterson next
season. "Every running back's goal is to break that record," Johnson
said. "You want to break the 2,105. I believe I can do it." Those words would carry more weight were
they not coming from a back who is coming off a 1,243-yard season in 2012, but
it’s good to know that a few down years haven’t taken the edge off of CJ2K’s
immense swagger and self-confidence………
- How does a return to the governmental arrangement you
endured for decades and fought a bloody revolution to topple sound, Egypt? Liberals and
other opponents of the country’s Islamist government have their way, that will
happen. These backward-thinking folks have called for the military to resume
control of the country if its faltering economy continues to worsen and its
ongoing political turmoil continues. A coalition of leftist and liberal parties
known as the National Salvation Front announced Tuesday that it would boycott
upcoming parliamentary elections on the grounds that President Mohammed Morsi
is force-feeding Egypt h an Islamist agenda and breaking a promise to govern on
behalf of all Egyptians. The boycott has sparked fears that Islamist parties
led by the Muslim Brotherhood’s Freedom and Justice Party and the more
conservative Salafist parties will sweep the elections and gain a stranglehold
on the House of Representatives. Such a result would give these groups near-complete
control of the executive and legislative branches of government and when that
potential nightmare scenario is combined with Egypt’s economy being on the
brink of collapse….people are a bit on edge. “Egypt is on the brink of default
[on its international debts], if law and order is absent, [the army] has a
national duty to intervene,” said former United Nations nuclear agency chief
Mohamed ElBaradei, who now leads the moderate Dustour party. "I am sure
they are as worried as everyone else. You cannot exclude that the army will
intervene to restore law and order.” Speaking on behalf of his informal
coalition, ElBaradei tweeted that he would "not be part of an act of
deception" and ridiculed an “absence of law & order, due process &
cascade of Fatwas & 'legal' investigations vs opposition fast tracks.”
Against this backdrop, non-Islamic groups are pondering the idea that the
tyrannical rule of the Egyptian military might be a more pleasant option. This
push has some traction among Egyptians, dozens of whom rallied Monday in Cairo
at the tomb of former President Anwar Sadat, who was assassinated by Islamist
soldiers in 1981, to demand the military reassume control of the country and
remove the Muslim Brotherhood from power……..
- Seth MacFarlane
received mixed reviews as the host of this year’s Oscars. Some loved his brand
of bargain-basement humor, while others decried his lowbrow approach and openly
hoped that he never gets anywhere close to the Oscars stage ever again. Knowing
his chances for a return gig hosting the show in 2014 were remote, MacFarlane
suggested a possible replacement: Tina Fey. Fey and her pal Amy Poehler hosted the
Golden Globes earlier this month and the two had good camaraderie and a solid
rapport, so maybe she could pull it off….or not. Fey, smart enough to know a
losing proposition when she sees one, wants no part of the hosting spot at one
of Hollywood’s biggest events. “I just feel like that gig is so hard.
Especially for, like, a woman - the amount of months that would be spent trying
on dresses alone . . . No way,” Fey said. She admitted that she enjoyed hosting
the Golden Globes with fellow “Saturday Night Live” alum Poehler, but insisted it
is unlikely she will change her mind about the Oscars. “I wish I could tell you there was,” she
added.
With Fey out of the running and MacFarlane admitting – perhaps unnecessarily
given the mixed reviews for his effort – that he would never want to spend five
months preparing for the gig or go through the same stressful experience ever
again. Sounds like it’s time to pull Billy Crystal off the set of whatever
terrible comedy he’s currently filming and make sure his tuxedo is freshly
cleaned……..
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