Monday, November 30, 2009

A Heroes recap, an impossible decision for Israel and the quest for all-time NBA ineptitude

- Gee, it’s hard to see why the marriage between David Hasselhoff and Pamela Bach didn’t work out. The Hoff is a known alcoholic whose best recent work was that pathetic YouTube video in which one of his daughters filmed him writhing and rambling while fall-down drunk on the floor in an attempt to shame him into quitting his drinking ways. Now that we know that the former Mrs. Hoff is also a raging alkie, it’s just not that difficult to figure out why these two couldn’t keep their relationship from going off the tracks. Bach’s revelation as a lush came Saturday when she was arrested at 8:03 p.m. Saturday in the west San Fernando Valley on on suspicion of DUI. She was later booked at the Van Nuys police department and released early Sunday morning after posting $15,000 bail. Oh, and her arrest came just a day after the Hoff was hospitalized after he was found passed out at his home. But fear not; as with all good drunks, Bach has a solid explanation. She claims that she was trying to comfort the couple's daughters earlier in the evening and then went out for dinner where she had a few drinks. "I am remorseful and mortified. I am going through a really difficult time between David being in the hospital and dealing with the divorce," she lied. As if that lie wasn’t enough, she also stated that she is now attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Maybe she and the Hoff can stage a family reunion at the next AA meeting, then go out for a few gin-and-juices afterward, since that’s what they seem to do best………

- Maybe I’ve just watched too much television, but this sounds exactly like a plot from an episode of 24 or some other spy/international espionage-themed drama. Israel is facing a difficult situation because of of an Israeli soldier who is being held captive by Hamas. Cpl. Gilad Shalit has been a prisoner of the terror group for three years and now Hamas is attempting to use him to leverage the release of 980 Palestinian prisoners currently in Israeli custody. That figure, released by Israel's State Prosecutor's Office, is the first official estimate of how many Palestinians could be freed in exchange for Shalit. He was captured in a 2006 Hamas raid near the Israel-Gaza border. Making this sort of demand, the release of hundreds of dangerous prisoners in exchange for one captured person of importance, is just the type of dilemma that you’d expect for hear Jack Bauer debating. But the Israeli government is clearly giving strong consideration to these demands, as papers filed with Israel's high court reveal. The documents spell out the government’s potential plan for an initial release of 450 prisoners in the first phase of a deal, with another 530 prisoners slated to be freed in a second phase. The decision has caused an understandable amount of outrage from relatives of Israelis slain by Palestinians and a group of these relatives have petitioned the court to force the government to release more information about the details of a possible exchange. Negotiations for Shalit's release have been conducted through third-party mediators seeking to bridge the gap between Israel and Hamas. Talks have started and stopped repeatedly and at numerous times during the process, there seemed to be no real hope for an agreement. However, Shalit's freedom has become a condition for the Israelis to consider ending a blockade that has economically wounded the Palestinian territory of Gaza and that has been enough to bring Hamas back to the table. At a critical impasse in negotiations last week, Israeli President Shimon Peres met with Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak in Cairo, Egypt, and hinted that the talks could be at a critical juncture. That fueled speculation about a possible deal, but any such accord will also require the Israeli government to announce the list of any prisoners to be released and allow 48 hours for objections before a deal can take place. I’m honestly not sure where to come out on this, because a lot of people lose either way. If Israel doesn’t ante up and save Shalit, his friend, family and fellow soldiers will be heartbroken and angry. If Israel caves and releases nearly 1,000 Palestinian prisoners, then the family members of those who were killed or injured by the released prisoners will be livid. It’s the proverbial no-win situation and all I can say at this point is how thankful I am that it’s not my decision to make………


- Old things ending and new things beginning was the theme for tonight’s Heroes, the last episode of 2009 and the final one before the two-hour behemoth on Jan. 4 that will mark the show’s last night in the 8 p.m. Monday time slot before moving back an hour to accommodate the (much anticipated) return of another fave show, Chuck. The old things ending appeared to be 1) the tenure of Edgar as Samuel Sullivan’s second in command at the Sullivan Bros. carnival, Nathan Petrelli’s life (and Adrian Pasdar’s time on the show) and Claire Bennet’s grasp on reality and the outside world. In regards to the Petrelli family, Peter’s quest to track down the mutated hybrid that is his brother Nathan mashed up with über-villain Sylar was on, even after a visit from Peter’s mother Angela during his shift as a paramedic at the hospital. Instead, Peter happily welcomed a second visitor to help him in his quest: the Haitian, a.k.a. Rene. Eschewing the advice of his mother, Peter used his ability to absorb the power of others to take on Rene’s power to block the powers of others and also to erase their memories. Equipped with his new power, Peter had a chance to use it sooner than expected. On an elevator ride to a higher floor of the building, a husky, black female nurse suddenly accosts him and lifts Peter clean off the floor with one hand. The elevator stops and Peter is hurled through the open door into the wall of a floor currently closed for remodeling. Out of the elevator steps Sylar, who had shape-shifted into the appearance of the female nurse. He seizes Peter’s bag of drugs, intended to be used to subdue Sylar so Peter could use his new power to wipe out all of his Sylar memories and turn the body they occupied back into his brother. A fight ensues and Peter strikes the first blow with a 2x4 to the back after hiding in the shadows. Sylar falls to the floor and turns around to use his telepathic powers to toss Peter across the room again, but to no avail. Peter blocks his powers and instead the duo battles it out mano a mano. Peter takes some solid shots but gains the upper hand, using his rage to fuel his fire. He eventually subdues Sylar enough to really go to work with a nail gun, pinning his adversary to a piece of plywood on the floor. Next, Peter attempts to permanently turn the body in front of him back into his brother by wiping out all Sylar memories. The attempt seems to work as the body shape-shifts back into Nathan’s likeness and Nathan speaks to Peter to confirm the change. Still, he admits that he’s extremely tired from fighting to stay alive inside the body while Sylar’s mind tries to kill him off. Peter suggests that they get out for some fresh air to clear Nathan’s mind and takes him to the building we saw Peter leap from the roof of in the first episode of the series when he was still figuring out his own powers and believed he could fly. The two reminisce about Nathan saving Peter that day by unleashing his own power to fly. Joy is short-lived, however, as Nathan continues to lament that he’s really not still alive and is merely a fraud living in a borrowed body. In the end, he takes his own way out by jumping off the roof. Peter catches him and is able to hold onto him momentarily, but in the end Nathan convinces him to let go in an emotional speech that brings tears to both brothers’ eyes. Peter releases his grip, Nathan falls and…..turns into Sylar mid-fall. Before he hits the ground, Sylar is back in possession of the body and in spite of crashing into the hood of a car, Sylar walks away unscathed thanks to his power to heal. A helpless Peter can only look on in dismay as Sylar waves to him from a hundred feet below and strolls casually away from the scene. There’s nothing casual about Claire Bennet’s current situation. Having stolen the mysterious compass from her father’s apartment last episode, Claire and roommate Gretchen follow the bizarro navigational device to the Sullivan Bros. carnival somewhere in southern Ohio. H.R.G. realizes the compass is gone right as he’s to leave for a date with former/current flame Lauren Gilmore (whose name is a nod to Gilmore Girls and star Lauren Graham, perhaps). She shows up at his apartment, asks about his new wall collage detailing his research into Samuel Sullivan and other people with powers currently making news in the world and spurs H.R.G. to dig into his desk for the compass to illustrate what he’s up to. The compass is gone and H.R.G. realizes instantly that Claire took it, bringing a swift end to his date and sending he and Lauren on a frantic search to pinpoint Claire’s location. She doesn’t answer a phone call, but Lauren is able to triangulate her cell phone’s signal to the southern portion of Ohio. That leaves H.R.G. at a loss for what to do next, but he compounds his woes by admitting to Lauren that they had a romantic relationship while working for the Company but that when it became clear than their affair wasn’t working out, she “Haitian-ed” herself, using her own power to wipe out all her memories of the relationship so they could both move on. She’s taken aback by the revelation and none too happy, but a knock at the door interrupts the conversation. The visitor is none other than Eli, the man whom Samuel Sullivan has asked to be his new right-hand man in light of Edgar’s departure last episode on account of Samuel falsely accusing him of murder and attempting to kill him. Eli is a replicator, meaning he can multiply himself. He actually takes a straightforward approach with H.R.G. and is honest about who he is and the purpose of his visit. When H.R.G. won't allow him inside, Eli uses his power to multiply himself and with several copies to go around, he manages to get inside the apartment and force H.R.G. and Lauren to retreat to the bathroom to regroup. H.R.G. pulls out several hidden guns and announces a plan to shoot every copy of Eli in sight until they hit the original one, which should kill all of the Eli’s. The problem with that plan is that by this time, Eli (all of him) is gone, having stolen the files Samuel wanted from H.R.G. With all of his research gone, H.R.G. has to figure out his next move while also trying to find his missing daughter. Speaking of Claire, she’s having a day at the carnival with Gretchen and finds herself surprisingly happy and content within the world of the Sullivan Bros. carnival. Samuel meets her at the gate and welcomes she and Gretchen inside. He tells them to look around, enjoy some popcorn and peek behind the scenes. Claire gradually finds herself warming up to the atmosphere because it’s a place where people like her can use their abilities and be around individuals who know what it’s like to live with an ability. Gretchen isn't sold on the idea, even if the super-powered con men, as she calls them, are using their powers to do things like helping a little girl win a carnival game and get a fun prize. The evening also features a visit to the Tattooed Lady, Lydia. After telling Samuel that she knows the truth about him murdering his brother Joseph but vowing to keep quiet to protect her daughter Amanda, Lydia fills her role in the family by offering to use her power to help show Claire why she’s at the carnival. Lydia takes Claire’s hand and uses her power to show a tattoo of Claire’s likeness on her back, with the words “Indestructible Girl” written below. When Claire asks what this means, Lydia says she isn't predicting the future, but merely showing Claire her true desires. As they wander around the rest of the carnival, Claire and Gretchen encounter a familiar face with whom Claire has a history: Eric Doyle, a.k.a. the Puppet Man. Even though he once attempted to kill her, it was Claire who helped Doyle elude government capture and flee Costa Verde last season. Now, he’s a member of Samuel’s family at the carnival and thanks Claire for her help in getting there. To further play with Claire’s emotions and convince her to join his merry band of misfits, Samuel calls on her to tell a story to the children in the group. She consents and basically tells her life story wrapped up in a fairy tale. The children love it, but the evening doesn’t end on a happy note. An irate carnival patron who lost a ball toss game because one of the workers used his power to rig the game when the man wouldn’t step aside to let a little girl play storms the employees’ area and attacks Samuel. Surprisingly, Samuel takes the beating because he believes the man has the right to say what he needs to say. However, Claire has seen enough and steps in between the two. Undeterred, the angry man breaks a beer bottle and attacks her. He slashes Claire on the right cheek, but when she turns back around and he sees her heal right in front of him, he’s so freaked out that he flees. A huge smile creeps across Samuel’s face and his motives for taking the punches becomes immediately clear. He offers to allow her to stay at the carnival for a couple of days to do some soul searching before heading back to school. Claire ultimately decides to accept the offer and tells Gretchen to make the 21-hour drive back to campus without her, but that she’ll be back on Monday. As Gretchen drives away, Samuel and Lydia have a bizarre conversation. Samuel confesses that “she” is not the one he’s after, with the she apparently being Claire. The implication seems to be that Gretchen is the one he’s after, although I could be mistaken. We see Gretchen drive away and as she does, the reflection of the carnival in her read csr window disappears, seeming to indicate that the carnival has vanished once again. Also, what looks like a dead body of a very obese man is lying in the bed of a truck in the parking lot, not sure what that means. The episode ends with a montage of various people with powers – Hiro, Ando, Emma, Peter, etc. – living their lives wherever they are and Samuel speaking a monologue. He goes on about reuniting their “family” and not being carnival nomads anymore. The final shot is of him and his family, Claire among them, in a nondescript field where they gather around Joseph’s grave and Samuel vows that when they gather everyone (people with powers), this is where they will make their home and roam no more. So for the next month, the story stops here, this will pick back up in January………


- This should shock exactly no one, but Iran doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about what the rest of the world thinks of its nuclear-development plans. Iran approved plans Sunday to build 10 industrial scale uranium enrichment facilities, an expansion of the that basically gives a giant diplomatic middle finger to U.N. demands it halt enrichment. Dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad made this move knowing full well that it would ratchet up tensions with the West and the timing of the announcement is no coincidence. It came only days after the U.N. nuclear watchdog agency censured Iran over its program and demanded it halt the construction of a newly revealed enrichment facility. The more the West puts its collective foot down and issues ultimatums, the more Iran digs in and defies those who would like to prevent it from developing the capabilities to nuke Israel from the face of the Earth. There is not a snowball in hell’s chance that Iran ever agrees to a U.N. deal aimed at ensuring Tehran cannot build a nuclear weapon in the near-term future. Threatening new U.N. sanctions if Iran does not respond should only spur Ahmadinejad and crew to thumb their nose at the West even more. "Time is running out for Iran to address the international community's growing concerns about its nuclear program," White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said. Talk all you want, Bob, Iran ain’t listening. Nor are they going to have an open mind for the U.N.'s International Atomic Energy Agency and its rebuke over enrichment. Just look at the words of one Iranian politician after hearing of the rebuke - parliament speaker Ali Larijani. Larijani threatened on Sunday to reduce cooperation with the IAEA. "Should the West continue to pressure us, the legislature can reconsider the level of Iran's cooperation with the IAEA," Larijani told parliament. Meanwhile, Iran’s one current operating enrichment facility, at the central town of Natanz, has churned out around 3,300 pounds of low-enriched uranium over the past years — enough to build a nuclear weapon if Iran enriches it to a higher level. All along the way, Iran has insisted that it has no intention of following through on that possibility and is merely using its nuclear program to generate electricity. At the risk of pissing off my man M. Ahmadinejad, I would like to point out that ordering the Atomic Energy Organization of Iran to begin building five uranium enrichment plants at sites around Iran and proposing five other locations for future construction within two months is not a good way to convince people that you aren’t looking to develop a massive nuclear arsenal. The fact that these new sites are to be built inside mountains to protect them from possible attacks should only heighten the apocalyptic fears that everyone outside of Iran seems to be harboring right about now, good times………


- I was so ecstatic last year when the Detroit Lions ran the table in reverse for a 0-16 miracle season that was truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Seeing a team in a major professional sport not do what it takes to win for an entire season, to see them find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory time after time…..it was inspiring, to say the least. But because an NFL season is only 16 games long and the seasons for other major sports in the United States are much longer, a winless season from an NBA, NHL or MLB team is simply impossible – or so I thought. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the 2009-10 version of the New Jersey Nets, a team that has now tied an NBA record with an 0-17 start. The Nets equaled the mark in a 106-87 loss to the Los Angeles Lakers on Sunday, with the defeat coming less than 24 hours after head coach Lawrence Frank was fired for his team’s inept play thus far in the season. New leadership clearly did not help the Nets against one of the NBA’s best teams and they lost to match the worst start to a season that was previously held by the 1988-89 Miami Heat and 1998-99 Los Angeles Clippers. It’s a solid start to a quest for futility as daunting as losing 82 straight NBA games, but there are still 65 games left to lose for the Nets. They will have to lose to a lot of bad teams to get the job done, teams that are almost as pathetic as they are – almost. General manager Kiki Vanderweghe will come down from the front office to coach the team for the rest of the year and this concerns me for a variety of reasons. First, his job could well be on the line just like Frank’s if things don’t turn around. He assembled this roster and if it is able to bring about the fulfillment of my dream of a winless NBA team, Vanderweghe could follow Frank out the door. Second, Vanderweghe is bound to bring a fresh perspective and new approach to the team and that could be just the sort of infectious thinking that will ruin the team’s focus and cause them to slip up. And yes, I realize that hip-hop icon Jay-Z is a minority owner of the Nets and seeing H.O.V.A.’s squad perform so miserably is not something I would have hoped for, ever. That being said and even though I would much prefer it to be a different team headed for historical incompetence, I don’t get to choose the team that will chase this dream. The team chooses itself by its play on the court and I am merely here to root them on in their unintentional quest for a dream……..my dream……..

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