Sunday, November 15, 2009

Bitter NFL legends speaking out, apocalyptic doom reigns at the box office and people who oppose the combination of caffeine and booze

- I’ve found something about the National Football League that I like even better than the awesome action on the field: bitter NFL legends. John Riggins, former Washington Redskins great, was the first to speak out this season against the inept current installment of his team. Riggins, a.k.a. Riggo, had been busy ripping the Redskins on his Twitter page, but that just wasn’t enough. He kicked it up a notch by posting a YouTube video in which he told Redskins coach Jim Zorn that he wasn’t qualified to coach anything beyond pee-wee football, told general manager Vinny Cerrato that he should give up GM work to focus on his true passion, TV and radio, and basically tore owner Daniel Snyder a new one in a variety of ways. The video itself was great because it showed Riggo in a nondescript sweatshirt and casual clothing, sitting in what appeared to be his back yard with a pile of stacked firewood at his back. That was followed by a recent TV interview in which he accused Snyder of being a terrible human being with “a black heart.” Were Riggo alone in his bitterness and willingness to rip those currently playing and working in the NFL, that would be fine. But Riggo has company and it comes from none other than hall of famer Fran Tarkenton, a legendary quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings who has not shied away from taking shots at those now in the league. I already loved Tarkenton for stepping up to crush that self-centered, egotistical a-hole Brett Favre for his constant game of retirement chicken and his belief that the entire football world revolves around him. Now, Tarkenton is zoning in on another current NFL quarterback, one to whom he has no apparent ties. Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is the current target of Tarkenton’s ire even though Tark admits he hasn't seen much of Jay Cutler. Following Cutler’s five-interception performance against San Francisco Thursday night, Tarkenton appeared on a local radio show in Chicago and lit up Cutler. "I really question whether he can play," Tarkenton said Friday. "Quarterbacks need to make their team better. If it's a bad team, they can even make a bad team better. Somebody may say well, even Peyton Manning couldn't help the Bears. Yes, he could. Tom Brady could, too. They might not win the championship or get to the playoffs, but they would make that team better. Those wide receivers who are struggling would be better because they would make them better." Way to throw a guy you don’t even know under the bus, F. Sure, Tarkenton led the Vikings to three Super Bowls in the 1970s, but what did Cutler do to him that was so terrible? You question whether he can play? Nothing like overreacting after a couple of bad games, eh Tark? But I’m willing to overlook any potential accuracy or fairness concerns here because I’m just so amused by the sudden willingness of former greats to openly and bitterly rip their present-day counterparts. Bitter on, old NFLers…………

- Clearly the moviegoers of the world like hearing about their own impending doom, because Roland Emmerich’s end-of-the world tale 2012 took in an estimated $65 million in the United States and an additional $160 million overseas in its opening weekend. I’d chalk it up to the unquestionable star power of John Cusack – if such a power existed. With a $200 million budget, it appeared that Sony Pictures would be hard-pressed to break even or make much of a profit on the movie, but the film blew right past the break-even mark in a matter of days. It was followed in the earnings race by Disney’s A Christmas Carol, which dropped only 26 percent in its second weekend and brought in $22.3 million, including 14 percent of its take from 182 IMAX runs. The weekend was not so productive for George Clooney’s The Men Who Stare At Goats, which grossed $6.2 million for third place, putting its ten-day cumulative at $23 million. Fourth place belonged to Lionsgate’s Precious, which continues to be a box office force despite still being in limited release. Even after adding 156 theaters to its opening weekend run, the film earned $6 million this weekend, for an impressive per-screen average of $35,000. In only two weeks of very limited release, the movie has raked in close to $9 million. Coming in fifth was (sadly) Michael Jackson’s This is It, which lost 61 percent (woo hoo!) and made just $5.1 million. Even with a disappointing weekend, this abortion of a movie has now earned $67 million in its three weeks in release and is set to stay in theaters through Thanksgiving weekend. It was an equally bad weekend for the Philip Seymour Hoffman-led Pirate Radio, which finished outside of the top ten with only $2.8 million. Oh, and I can save you some time in figuring out what next weekend at the movies will look like; The Twilight Saga: New Moon will set all sorts of records and be the top movie between Lord knows the world can't get enough of vampire romance……………


- It seemed like the perfect marriage: alcohol and caffeine. After all, who doesn’t love vodka + Red Bull? Well, the Food and Drug Administration would seem to be one such non-fan, as evidenced by the fact that it has notified about 30 manufacturers of alcoholic beverages containing added caffeine that it intends to take a closer look at their products. The FDA apparently has concerns over whether the products are a) safe and b) legal. Alcohol with caffeine as found in products such as 24/7 made by Mix Master Beverage Co. and Joose by United Brands Co., are now under fire because attorneys general from states including Connecticut, Utah, California and New York are a bunch of whiny b*tches, basically. In September, 18 of these tools sent a letter to the FDA outlining why they consider such drinks dangerous. Sure, they have a collection of doctors and scientists who have conducted research on the subject behind them, but since when do we give a damn what doctors and scientists think? I don’t care if this collection of fools can point to several studies that showed stimulants such as caffeine mask the intoxicating effects of alcohol and could lead to increased risk-taking and other alcohol-related problems such as violence and traffic accidents. One particular study the letter to the FDA cites, done last year, found usage to be nearly 30 percent among college students, in whom the beverages are associated with "heavy episodic drinking and episodes of weekly drunkenness." Umm, guys…..nearly everything is associated with heavy drinking and “episodes of weekly drunkenness” with college students – beer, vodka, gin, rum, tequila….you name it and if it has alcohol in it, college students will get drunk on it. “The increasing popularity of consumption of caffeinated alcoholic beverages by college students and reports of potential health and safety issues necessitates that we look seriously at the scientific evidence as soon as possible," said Dr. Joshua Sharfstein, principal deputy commissioner of food and drugs. Blah, blah, blah. Yes, I realize that any ingredient added to food or beverages requires FDA approval, but mixing a little booze with your energy drink is a win-win for everyone except über-conservative losers who don’t know how to have fun. These poor drink makers should not be under the gun with 30 days to provide safety data to support claims that the caffeine use is generally recognized as safe; they should simply be allowed to go about their business. Don’t back down, y’all, and tell these attorneys general and the FDA to suck it…………


- There are two different types of robbers in this world: those who take time to heat up a bottle for crying infants during a robbery and those who don’t. Police in Indianapolis are looking for the former following a home robbery Friday morning. The two suspects were robbing a home in the 6100 block of East 21st Street just after 8:30 a.m. Friday morning after forcing their way inside. These two approached the home asking for jumper cables for a broken down car, but they were merely casing the joint. They returned later in the morning and forced their way into the home, tying up two adults and a teenager. One of the robbers then pulled out a shotgun and used it to club the two adults in the head. "Then he hit me again over the head and that was it," said Morgan Adams. "It was lights out. I woke up to my buddy untying me." After rendering their two biggest threats neutralized, the robbers began pillaging the house – until the crying baby caught their attention. “And then at that point my smallest baby starts to cry," said Ronnell Griffie. "So I asked them, 'Is there any possibility that you can let my oldest son feed little Jaylin?' The robbers consented to the request and actually helped by warming the bottle himself in the microwave. 
In the end, the robbers got away and are still at large, considered armed and dangerous. They were described as two black males, one light skinned and the other dark skinned. Now, on to the sort of robbers who aren’t quite as considerate. Michael Noyer of New Hampshire was attempting to rob a Pine Street apartment Thursday night when the homeowner spotted Noyer in his daughter’s bedroom. The homeowner awakened to the sound of something in his daughter’s room and initially thought it was a cat. When he went to investigate, he found Noyer hiding behind a door. He attempted to pin Noyer behind the door while the girl's mother called 911, but Noyer was able to escape. However, he left a souvenir behind that ultimately led to his arrest. Seems that my boy M. Noyer dropped his day planner (Who the hell still uses a day planner?) containing an unemployment check with his name on it. Police went straight to the apartment at the address listed on the check and spotted Noyer riding a bike. When they yelled at him to stop, he ran inside the building. And why did he flee? Well, aside from the obvious, it appears Noyer was also trying to hide some oxycodone inside a hole in the bathroom wall. Ah, so many things to cover up, so little time before you are arrested. But notice that in all of this, something Noyer did not do was take time to stop and do something helpful for those he was attempting to rob, something like heating up a bottle for a crying baby. Take time to give back when you are looking to break into someone’s home and thieve their personal possessions and you just might get some better karma coming your way……….


- Now is not a great time to be a major rock band. Aerosmith is on the verge of making a colossal blunder by trying to replace frontman Steven Tyler and Oasis is forging ahead sans lead singer Noel Gallagher. Both bands have been perpetually on the verge of imploding for nearly every moment of their existence, but having that reality finally come true is disheartening. It’s more jarring to hear Joe Perry, bard Whitford, etc. talk about replacing Tyler simply because Aerosmith has been around much longer, but having former Oasis guitarist and vocalist Liam Gallagher say that he and all of the other members of the band - aside from his brother Noel - are writing songs and will continue to perform as a new group is also jarring. "We're sort of doing things at the moment," he said. "Not Oasis, Oasis is done. Everyone except for Noel." I suppose I shouldn’t begrudge Liam Gallagher and the remaining members of the band their chance to continue making music; after all, Liam Gallagher founded the band in 1991 with Paul Arthurs, Paul McGuigan and Tony McCaroll. Even though Noel joined shortly thereafter and took over as Oasis' lead songwriter and its biggest ego, the band was no more his than those who preceded him in it. By the time the band fractured in August and pulled the plug at the last minute on several major festival gigs, the Gallagher brothers were the longest-standing members of the band. The rest of the current lineup included guitarist/keyboardist Colin Archer, bassist Andy Bell and drummer Chris Sharrock. As with Tyler’s decision to leave his Aerosmith bandmates, it was Laim Gallagher’s choice to quit Oasis. “It's with some sadness and great relief to tell you that I quit Oasis tonight," Gallagher wrote on the band's website. "People will write and say what they like, but I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer. It's a shame but that's life. We had a good run at it. The thing about Oasis is, no one ... we ended Oasis. No one ended it for us. Which was pretty, kind of... cool. I'm thinking of what the next step is musically, which is all my mind's on." Liam Gallagher also seems to have landed in a solid place, musically and creatively. He added: "I'll be doing music to the day I die. People will be able to buy his [Noel's] records. People will be able to buy our records. So everyone's happy." Well, everyone except those who were fans of Oasis. And I’m pretty sure that no matter what the brothers Gallagher say, they are very much still hating one another and will likely take some shots at one another in the months ahead………

No comments: