- For nearly a half-century, Rev. Sun Myung Moon has been marrying people - lots of people. Now, they 89-year-old leader of the Unification Church is getting ready for a special celebration that will truly span the globe in a chain reaction of matrimonial madness. According to the Unification Church, Moon will wed or reaffirm the marriages of more than 40,000 people from the United States to South Korea. The actual Moon-attended ceremony will take place at Sun Moon University in Asan, south of Seoul, in a ceremony that will be broadcast live at similar events worldwide. More than 20,000 will participate in the ceremony in Asan, with the other half of the participants joining in via the live broadcast to their location of choice. One such "blessing ceremony" will take place at the Unification Church-owned New Yorker Hotel in Manhattan on Tuesday night. So why now for this momentous event? Well, Rev. Moon is turning over day-to-day leadership over to three of his 11 children as he prepares to celebrate his 90th birthday and his 50th wedding anniversary. The Unification Church has done this sort of mass ceremony before, but not for a decade. Now don’t take this as my being a big fan of Rev. Sun Myung Moon, because being a self-proclaimed Messiah who claims that at age 15, Jesus Christ called upon you to carry out his unfinished work is enough for me to call you a delusional tool every day of the week. I don’t care if you’ve been holding mass weddings since the early 1960s and having them for followers in Japan, Africa, the U.S. and elsewhere, even at Madison Square Garden, the world’s most famous arena. "My wish is to completely tear down barriers and to create a world in which everyone becomes one," Moon said in his recent autobiography. How very generic and nondescript of you, Rev. Moon. That’s as ambiguous a vision for world unity as I’ve ever heard, idiot. What’s truly kooky about these mass weddings ceremonies is that followers have often let Moon pick their spouses on the belief that he has divine insight met those mates for the first time at the mass weddings. Nothing says world-changing visionary and messiah quite like slamming people together in arranged marriages. Just know that the world not uniting behind your kooky vision and supporting what you’re about. R. Moon, we’re laughing….at you…..heartily……………
- The Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services is getting exactly what it wanted and if you ask me, that’s not a good thing. The agency put up a billboard in the town of Deep River showing what appears to be a baby drinking from a bottle of beer. Aside from showing that babies know how to party too, what is the point of the billboard? Ostensibly it’s to get the message out about underage drinking. In addition to the boozing baby, the billboard also shows a couple of teenagers beer in hand surrounded by empties. Some locals are shocked and offended by the sight of a billboard on which someone holds a beer bottle up near the lips of a baby and makes it seem like there is no chance that any actual alcohol is going to make it anywhere near that baby’s mouth, but let’s face it, that’s not shocking. There will never cease to be oversensitive prudes who flip out at the most remotely, could-be-controversial things and fly into a blind rage when someone dares do something that they feel is in appropriate. Fact is, the outrage from these knobs is exactly what the Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services was hoping for when it got together with Together We Can! to design and put up the billboard. As for the premise…..not really. Giving alcohol to an infant is nowhere near the same as providing alcohol to teenagers, sorry. Why the need to rain on the parade of the cool kids, Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services? Just because no one invited you to any of the cool parties growing up and you didn’t get to down plastic cup after plastic cup of cheap beer and throw up in the bushes outside your buddies’ houses doesn’t mean you need to ruin the good time for everyone else, man. Quit being such a square, stop trying to talk people into following the law and not buying beer for minors and move on to something else more worthwhile, like people who are addicted to overreacting to billboards on the grounds that they are too controversial………
- I could try to muster some sympathy for Sherry Bailey of Midlands, S.C., but I’m not going to. As I’ve said time and time again, people who fall victim to Internet scams or scams of any type for that matter, are almost inevitably getting what they deserve when someone rips them off of tens of thousands of dollars. If you’re dumb enough to get taken by one of these IQ-deprived scumbags and hand over your life savings to them, then I am sorry to tell you that you are in fact a moron. This is true whether you are victimized by a Ponzi scheme, a pyramid scheme, a mail fraud scam or an Internet scam. So while it’s sad that Sherry Bailey’s husband of 14 years passed away and she was so lonely that she took to websites such as Match.com and OkCupid.com in her search for companionship, that does not excuse her from her stupidity in getting ripped off for nearly $50,000. Her story….well, I’ll allow Bailey to tell it. "This gentleman started corresponding. His name was Kelvin Nelson. He would send all kinds of love poems and love letters. He should be coming home from Nigeria soon. He was an independent contractor,” she said. But before he could come back to the states, he had to pay his workers. "He had a check for $2,000,000 he couldn't cash over there because it was a U.S. check." Oh boy…..you fell for that? Everyone - and I mean everyone - knows that any sort of “great” offer having to do with the Internet and Nigeria is a scam. How this fact could elude anyone with an IQ above 42 is confounding to me. In other words, when someone asks you for a large amount of money that you must send to them in order to receive a huge payout and they claim to be from or residing in Nigeria, run the other freaking direction as fast as possible. But Sherry Bailey wasn’t smart enough to unravel the mystery and so she agreed to take out a loan to help out. "A title loan against one of my trucks so I could send him $5,000," she admitted. So she’d already been ripped off for $5,000 and wasn’t smart enough to realize it…..wonder what’s going to happen next? I know I’m riveted. A few weeks later, Nelson asked for more money to get home. At this point, the smart, the competent, the non-moron among us would stop and wonder if sending this much money and mortgaging their life away for someone they have never met in person was a wise choice, but not Sherry Bailey. No, she flew right past common sense, left sensibility in her wake and flatted intelligence under her tires as she took out a third loan, this one on her home. Over the next four months, she sent more than 20 (20!!!) Western Union and MoneyGrams to Nigeria. "$49,620.52 that I'm out," Bailey lamented. From there, her “relationship” with “Nelson” deteriorated and Bailey realized that she had just been conned. Lesson learned, right? Stunningly, no. Armed with the knowledge she’d just gained by ruining herself financially, she went back online in her search for love. In one of the most unbelievable and borderline ridiculous stories I have ever heard, she met a second virtual suitor in nearly the same manner she met Nelson. This man called himself Jeff Smith (generic, common names, wonder if there is a theme) and he told Bailey he was an independent contractor needing to pay his workers before he could return to the U.S. Because she’d just been jobbed by another con artist, she told “Smith” she didn't have any money to send him. "He said I have a bank in the U.K. that can send you money to your credit card and you can withdraw the funds and send it to me that way," Bailey recalled. Oh, now that is a surefire scam tactic and it’s so blatantly obvious that there is no possible way that this woman…..wait, she actually forked over her credit card information? No f’ing way. Did this woman have a full lobotomy at any point in the recent past? Who the %#^$&&^$)*^! sends their credit card information to someone whom they’ve never met? Of course, within a few days Bailey’s credit card, with a limit of $8,500, was overdrawn by $27,000. Add it all up and this idiot lost more than $70,000 to two guys running the exact same scam on her, back to back. Through it all, the only thing that made her suspicious was the way the men spoke on the phone. "Why do you say you're from New York or Boston when you've got this foreign accent," Bailey says she asked them. A good question, S., and one you probably should have delved deeper into BEFORE YOU TOOK OUT MULTIPLE LOANS TO SEND THEM YOUR ENTIRE LIFE’S WORTH OF FINANCIAL ASSETS! You sent the first con man more than 20 money orders and around money order No. 5 or 6, my sympathy and empathy just run dry. Point blank, you deserve what you got and the fact that you now must sell your home to stay afloat financially is neither sad nor undeserved, you idiot…………
- What a freaking train wreck Rush Limbaugh's bid to buy the St. Louis Rams has become. The fact that Limbaugh is a minority partner (ironic that Limbaugh is a minority anything) in a bid by St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts to buy on the Rams hasn’t stopped the entire football world and even people outside the normal gridiron community to loudly and vociferously speak out against the potential acquisition. The current owners, the children of late Rams owner Georgia Frontiere, haven’t even officially declared their intention to sell the team yet, but would-be bidders are readying themselves. None of them are likely to generate as much controversy as Limbaugh, mostly because he’s a right-wing blowhard with racist tendencies and a proclivity for saying incredibly asinine and offensive things about minorities. For example, while working as a member of ESPN's Sunday Night Football broadcast studio crew in 2003, Limbaugh said the following of Philadelphia's Donovan McNabb: "I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well." In 2007, he is alleged to have said: "The NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it." That comment came to light in transcripts posted on his Web site from a 2007 broadcast. In fairness to Limbaugh, he claims that "the totally made-up and fabricated quotes attributed to me in recent media reports are outrageous and slanderous." For your sake, R., I hope that’s the case, and not because of anything relating to your attempt to purchase the Rams. No, I’m hoping that you didn’t make those comments because then I would have to be offended to share this suddenly-too-small Earth with a small-minded, bigoted, ass hat of a talk show host who is more racist, ignorant and culturally backwards than I had ever imagined. Fortunately, I’m not the only one who feels this way. On Tuesday, Colts owner Jim Irsay vowed to vote against Limbaugh if his prospective ownership came before the league’s 31 other owners. For the football uninitiated among you, the league’s other owners must approve any new additions to their shadowy little cabal of rich, old white dudes with private jets and fleets of luxury cars. Commissioner Roger Goodell also doesn’t appear to be a huge Limbaugh fan, saying that his "divisive" comments would not be tolerated from any NFL insider. "I, myself, couldn't even consider voting for him," Irsay said at an owners meeting. "When there are comments that have been made that are inappropriate, incendiary and insensitive ... our words do damage, and it's something that we don't need." Goodell couldn’t distance himself and his product from Limbaugh fast or far enough when speaking about the situation, labeling Limbaugh’s words
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