Decrying college football coaches who just won't leave, questioning GNR and Conan O'Brien v. Newark in a battle with no winner

- Tenured college football coaches who are basically given carte blanche to stay at their college or university as long as they want without anyone calling for their ouster are one of my major pet peeves in sports. The notion that guys like Joe Paterno can simply continue coaching as long as they want, regardless of how their team is currently performing, is ludicrous. If a guy won national championships 30 years ago but is now presiding over a fading program, how can you justify keeping him on? You’re going to allow loyalty to one guy to ruin things for everyone? That brings me to the situation at Florida State, where head football coach Bobby Bowden is presiding over just such a program. Bowden, who is second all-time in Division I football in terms of coaching wins, has seen the program steadily regress into a collection of felons, academic cheaters and on-field underachievers over the past decade. This year, the Crimi-noles are a paltry 2-2, having lost a key game to in-state rival Miami, another stunner to in-state competitor South Florida and barely scraped by in a 19-9 victory over FCS opponent Jacksonville (Ala.) State on Sept. 12. FSU can’t even make it to the top of the perennially mediocre Atlantic Coast Conference and the off-field scandals are mounting. With all of that in mind, there are a growing number of cries from in and around the university for Bowden to move on and coach-in-waiting Jimbo Fisher (another concept I hate, pre-determining your next coach years in advance) to have his ascent accelerated. Members of the school’s board of trustees, which has no direct power over coaching decisions, have called for a change on the grounds that the program is slowly sinking into mediocrity. We've got too many bosses out there," chairman of the board Jim Smith said. "Jimbo is in a very, very tough situation where people assume he has a whole lot more authority than he really has. He's getting blamed for a lot of things that's just not his fault." That has led to some terse question-and-answer sessions between Bowden and the media in which he has refused to discuss his possible ouster even as his wife Ann is out there taking shots at her husband’s critics. Bowden said Sunday he isn't planning on quitting anytime soon, nor do I expect him to go quietly or willingly when he is ousted. This is a proud guy with a big ego and he clearly believes that he is bigger than this program and can continue to rule it for as long as he wants. Never mind reality and what’s best for the program, dammit, Bobby Bowden still wants to coach and he has a great career record, so he should stay. I’m not saying Fisher is the answer and I continue to believe that schools should hold a legitimate open search when they have a vacancy instead of tabbing their next coach three years ahead of time in some bizarre succession plan (giving more power to their current, tenured coach by allowing what amounts to his hand-picked successor taking over), but clearly the Florida State football program will continue to trend downward with Bowden at the helm and it’s time for him to step aside, gracefully if he can manage it, but forcibly if he can’t………….

- How freaking hilarious is it that Guns N’ Roses took more than a decade and a half to release the much-anticipated "Chinese Democracy" and now that they have, two independent record labels sued the band for $1 million, claiming they used portions of two songs by another musician on their last album. The suit was filed by record labels Independiente and Domino Recording Company, who own the licensing rights to songs by electronic musician Ulrich Schnauss.
 According to the suit, GNR copied portions of two of Schnauss' songs -- "Wherever You Are" and "A Strangely Isolated Place" -- for a song used on the band's last album called "Riad N' the Bedouins." As compensation, the plaintiffs are seeking $1 million in damages. Interscope-Geffen A&M, GNR’s label, had no comment on the suit and of course no one has talked to enigmatic GRN front man Axl Rose about it. He’s the only remaining original member of the band, but just because guitarist Brian Carroll, better known as "Buckethead," bassist Tommy Stinson, and Robin Finck, who currently plays lead guitar with rock act Nine Inch Nails aren’t with Guns N’ Roses any longer, that doesn’t mean they don’t get to be part of the lawsuit. Having not given that extensive of a listen to “Chinese Democracy” yet and having absolutely no idea who the hell Ulrich Schnauss is, I can't say for sure whether GNR did, in fact, steal his music. What I can say is that if they did, it’s utterly reprehensible and pathetic. You’re one of the most famous rock bands of all time, you have freaking 17 years to cobble together enough original material for an album and you (allegedly) rip notes from a random, no-name electronic musician? If this is true, the judge in the case needs to quadruple that $1 million in damages and award Schnauss a cut of the album sales from “Chinese Democracy.” Step your game up, GNR, step your game up………..

- So the G-20 summit in Pittsburgh may be over and done with, but that doesn’t mean that The Man isn't still looking to crack down on and oppress the little guy for his role in the protests that went on during the summit. In particular, I’m referring to Elliot Madison and Michael Wallschlaeger, two men who were arrested in a hotel room about 10 miles from the site of the global summit. Police have accused them of using scanners to pick up police and emergency services transmissions, headphones, microphones, maps and computers that they used to communicate with protestors via Twitter to "inform the protesters and groups of the movements and actions of law enforcement ... in order to avoid apprehension." I’m sorry, and the problem there is? Don’t like it when someone flips the tables on you, eh The Man? These guys arm themselves with the equipment necessary to help their fellow dissidents get the job done and you come down hard on them. Charging Madison and Wallschlaeger with hindering apprehension, criminal use of a communication facility and possessing criminal instruments is one of the most heinous and ridiculous things I’ve seen from law enforcement in a long time and just because these two openly describe themselves as anarchists doesn’t mean that they deserve to be persecuted like this. Sure, police raided Madison’s home Thursday and in the course of a 16-hour search they found computers and hard drives, cameras, gas masks, a slingshot and various beakers, test tubes and posters of Marx and Lenin, but those are all completely innocent things and could in no way be construed as incriminating in any way. Besides, according to Madison and Wallschlaeger’s attorney, there believed that they were merely passing along public information by relaying to protesters "what routes they might take, where police have said don't go, and things of that nature," said attorney Martin R. Stolar. "I don't see any way that you can criminalize passing on information that the police have put out publicly." Agreed and agreed, counselor. These guys were merely trying to help avert scenes like the one that unfolded on the very first day of the summit, when hundreds of protesters attempted a march but ended up brawling with police in the streets of Lawrenceville, two miles from downtown Pittsburgh. Of course police responded with ear-splitting sound trucks and pepper spray, a typical law enforcement overreaction. From there on out, most protests during the summit were peaceful and Elliot Madison and Michael Wallschlaeger were merely looking to help to that end………….

- Great news, old people of America: Now there’s a whole new flu shot you can panic about getting, line up for hours to receive and dole out a significant chunk of your fixed income for. The race to inoculate Americans against H1N1 influenza (swine flu)began Monday, with health care workers in Indiana and Tennessee targeted as the first recipients. "I think the world has watched history unfold," Dr. Judy Monroe, Indiana's state health commissioner, said at Wishard Hospital in Indianapolis.Wishard Hospital received a shipment of 52 boxes -- each containing 100 pre-filled sprayers. The story was the same at LeBonheur Children's Medical Center in Memphis, Tennessee, where three children have died from H1N1. These batches of the flu shot are the first of 195 million doses the U.S. government has purchased from five vaccine manufacturers in both spray and injectable forms. The government has gone on record as saying that there will be enough of the vaccine for anyone who wants it, but shipments of the product will take place over the next two months, with the injectable form expected to be available by mid-October. Undoubtedly there are some people out there who have panicked and will sell their soul to make sure that they are vaccinated against the dreaded swine flu, but count me among those who aren’t all that worried. Sure, the Centers for Disease Control said last week that it had received reports of 60 deaths of children related to H1N1 flu since April, tallied 16,174 hospitalizations nationwide and counted 1,379 deaths associated with influenza virus infection, but I’m not concerned. I will not be one of the two-thirds of Americans (according to a poll in August) who said they plan to be vaccinated against H1N1 flu. I’ll simply wash my hands more often, steer clear of people who are sick or sneezing and follow the example of health care workers, only 40 percent of whom have opted to be vaccinated against the flu. If health care workers, who deal most directly with the disease, aren’t that concerned about it, neither am I. So line up and dole out the cash for your flu shot, old people and panicky parents, just don’t plan on seeing me in line with you……….

- It’s Conan O’Brien v. Newark and to shoot you straight, I have no idea who to root for. On one hand, you’ve got a guy who is not funny in the least, took over "The Tonight Show" and ran its ratings into the ground because of his lack of funniness and is basically the biggest abortion of a late night host since Magic Johnson. On the other hand….well, you’ve got Newark, New Jersey, whose claims to fame are…..um…..I don’t know. What I do know is that Newark is not exactly a city I’d want to live in unless it were one of the only safe cities in the world following a nuclear blast that had rendered the rest of the United States uninhabitable. So when O’Brien crack a joke on the Sept. 23 episode of his show about how Newark Mayor Cory Booker's plan to improve citizens' health care in New Jersey's largest city "would consist of a bus ticket out of Newark," a giant crap storm was unleashed. Booker, a tech-savvy mayor with more than 800,000 followers on Twitter, fired back on YouTube, stating that O'Brien is no longer welcome at Newark International Airport. "I'm officially putting you on the Newark, NJ, no fly list -- try JFK, buddy," Booker retorted. Seeing an opportunity for some pub and to hopefully boost his sagging ratings with a little controversy. O’Brien fired back by sarcastically stating that Newark is "one of America's greatest cities," and proceeded to pair its "thriving arts scene" with an image of a graffiti-ridden wall and its "exciting regional cuisine" with a Dunkin Donuts sign. He also attempted to drop a ban on Booker from an airport in Burbank, California. That led to Booker retaliating with another YouTube video outlawing O'Brien from the entire state. "Now listen, you may like Boardwalk and Park Place, but the only way you're going to get to them is on a Monopoly board," the mayor sniped. Booker claimed that the rest of the state’s mayors (or at least those not currently under arrest on federal corruption charges) were behind him on the ban. O’Brien responded in kind, banning Booker from California entirely. He also showed a letter from the mayor of neighboring Elizabeth, New Jersey, welcoming him "with open arms to Elizabeth." Mayor Chris Bollwage explained in the letter that Newark airport's Terminal A actually lies within his municipality and he intends to rename it the Conan O'Brien Terminal if and when the talk show host ever decides to visit. The latest exchange in the tongue-in-cheek showdown has both O’Brien and Booker extending invitations for the other to visit, although O’Brien quipped Friday that, “I think we have to meet in neutral territory. I think we're going to meet in Lebanon, Kansas." Lebanon is often billed as the geographical center of the 48 contiguous states and since neither party has stated any issues with the town, seems like a good choice to me. I still have no interest in watching O’Brien’s show or visiting Newark, mind you, I’m just sayin’………….